Episode 284

“What do you mean ‘like me’? What part of me? My personality?”

“Very similar to that, but with no talent.”

“You bast….”

Chung Myung smiled,

“A timid personality, with no talent for swords.”

“….”

“And he was a part of a martial arts sect. As you know, such places are filled with people busy trying to show off their own power. As a result, he was often hit by his sahyung who had a lively personality. It wasn’t bullying though.”

“Even if it was a sect, isn’t the sahyung just acting hella cheap?”

“You basta…”

“Uh?”

“…. Nothing.”

It felt like Chung Myung was cursing him.

‘Well.’

Baek Sang tilted his head, deciding not to understand what Chung Myung had just said.

“Well.”

Chung Myung sighed, coughed, and continued,

“That is what it means to have less talent. Even if the less talented person shows the same amount of effort, the other people would slowly peel ahead. The less talented person notices themselves lagging behind, they can feel the gap in talent.”

Baek Sang nodded his head.

This was what he was feeling right now. It wasn’t a sense of despair. He felt nothing but clear emptiness and deep regret.

“He was born with a weak body, and he had to understand the concepts that others understood with their bodies, only with his head. If it were a normal person they would have given up on it. So what do you think he did?”

“…he tried to keep up? So much so that he walked along the edge of death?”

“No.”

Chung Myung shook his head,

“He just survived.”

“…”

“Hundreds of days. Thousands of Days. For ten thousand days. For all those countless hours and days doing what he had done, just standing there silently practicing. And as the decades passed, no one ignored him. Because we were all one, united in goal. And soon, he became the most important person in the sect.”

Baek Sang rolled his eyes,

“Even if he wasn’t strong?”

“Why do you have to be strong?”

Chung Myung shook his head,

“I am not saying that sasuk should give up on being strong. But strength isn’t the only thing that makes someone useful. Is Elder Hyun Young useless? Is he unneeded?”

“No.”

“Right, exactly! So why does sasuk think that way?”

“… I…”

Baek Sang bit his lip.

Seeing him like that, Chung Myung had a subtle look,

“Can I tell you something nice? Everyone has a different set of talents, so if you keep working hard, maybe one day you will overtake the others who seem to be full of skill and talent. Sasuk is stubborn.”

“Really?”

“Not at all.”

“Bastard!”

Baek Sang was getting angry, but Chung Myung just shrugged away his reaction,

“I told you. I will say something nice… but I never said that it would be true. Does it even matter?”

“….”

“Everyone in Kangho wants to become the best, the strongest. Yet, most people would never be able to touch that title… does that make their lives not worthwhile?”

Chung Myung shook his head.

“It isn’t that either.”

Chung Myung looked at the night sky.

‘Right?’

He remembered his sajae, Chung Jin.

-Sahyung. I cannot be as strong as you. Not just you sahyung, but I am weak compared to the other sahyungs too. But just because I am not strong doesn’t mean I am an insignificant being within Mount Hua. I will become the person that Mount Hua needs more than anyone.

-What? I couldn’t hear well since a weak person was talking?

-You jerk…

‘Ah, I said something wrong’

Chung Myung smiled bitterly.

Actually, Chung Jin had proven his words. He had delved into the martial arts of Mount Hua and reached a level beyond lucid understanding.

Of course, his body had failed to keep up with it, but throughout the history of Mount Hua, there was no pillar stronger than Chung Jin.

If Chung Myung could go back to the past and save just one of those disciples, he would choose Chung Jin.

‘Uh?’

‘What sahyung?’

‘Uh…’

‘That…. uh….’

‘Eh. I don’t have much use for the other one…’

-Yah! You….!

‘Oh, please do come!’

Chung Myung shook his head.

Before the final battle, Chung Jin had disappeared from the battlefield and had never returned. Mount Hua would have looked different from today if Chung Jin was alive.

“A person’s goals are bound to change over the course of their life.”

“…”

“What are sasuk’s goals? Are you going to become the strongest person in the world? Or will you become a pioneer and become the first to accomplish something?”

Baek Sang sighed as he understood what Chung Myung was saying.

“But Chung Myung.”

“Yes.”

“Isn’t that something only you get to say? Because you are achieving your goal. Can you understand this heart of mine?”

“No, sasuk.”

“… Uh?”

“I…”

Chung Myung raised his head and looked at the sky,

“I am not close to my goal.”

Chung Myung looked up as he closed his eyes. He still dreamt of it. A neverending dream of beating the heads of the Demonic sect and returning to Mount Hua with his sahyungs.

Sometimes he would be beaten up by his sect leader sahyung. Sometimes he would fight with his sajaes as a group.

And then drink a lot.

Laugh.

Talk.

This and that.

Just one of them.

Just one of the many goals was…

Best in the World?

That was a funny wish.

What he truly longed for, what he really wanted, was to return to Mount Hua and live and die as the idiot he was in the past, with the sahyungs he spent all his life with.

It was because of this wish, of wanting to return to that nicer time, that he threw himself into the war.

Yet, his goal had never been accomplished.

What remained was nothing but a lonely hole in his heart and spirit.

“So what about it?”

“…uh?”

“I couldn’t do what I wanted to do, I couldn’t do what I should have done. So what does that mean? Should I stretch out my hands and give up on everything?”

Baek Sang went silent.

It wasn’t what Chung Myung said to him, but his own self. It was hard to understand, but he could feel the meaning.

“People still have to live.”

“…”

If something broke, it only needed to be built up again. If you fail, then try again.

Still, if you could not accomplish your goals, then you had no other option but to realize you couldn’t do it… and live.

That was life.

Chung Myung looked at the night sky, and Baek Sang couldn’t say anything as the atmosphere felt heavy.

‘Why does it feel so heavy?’

There was no part in Chung Myung’s life that seemed so troublesome. But now, Baek Sang was feeling something strange.

He honestly didn’t know why it felt this heavy. But Baek Sang knew best that his current feelings couldn’t be expressed by a few words, empty words that couldn’t fill up a sail.

But.

‘I feel more at ease.’

Was it because he was drunk?

If not…

“Chung Myung.”

“Uh?”

Baek Sang looked at him and said,

“I will ask you one thing.”

“What?”

“Am I someone you need to build your ideal version of Mount Hua?”

Chung Myung frowned as he tilted his head and said,

“To put it like that, well, you could say so.”

“… what you brat?”

No, did this guy always have to break down such a nice atmosphere?

You could have just said yes!

“Sasuk.”

“Huh?”

“You are family, a comrade who I need with me.”

“…”

“It doesn’t matter if sasuk is useless at something. As long as sasuk considers himself a member of Mount Hua, he will always be my sasuk.”

“…”

“Doesn’t that work?”

Baek Sang smiled sadly.

‘I didn’t expect such an answer.’

He wanted to say it was needed.

But… all you can get from a shallow answer is just a moment’s comfort.

“Right. Good.”

Baek Sang took another sip from his bottle.

He didn’t feel good.

But he felt comfortable.

Amidst those strange emotions, Baek Sang looked at Chung Myung,

‘Strange one.’

Sometimes it felt like he would cause foolish things that would never happen in the world again, and sometimes it felt that there was so much depth to him that the bottom could never be measured.

Unpredictable.

So Baek Sang didn’t like Chung Myung.

Because no person could like someone who was too different from themselves.

But strangely, he didn’t hate this version of Chung Myung.

“Uh?”

“Will Mount Hua get stronger?”

“Of course.”

“Then will there be a place for me in the Mount Hua you create?”

“You are speaking stupid things again.”

Chung Myung smiled,

“Self-reliance is what will make Mount Hua stronger. And you should be ready to take your place.”

“… I see.”

My place.

Baek Sang nodded his head,

“Right, I understand.”

Chung Myung glanced at Baek Sang, who was nodding his head.

“Right. I understand.”

As if he had decided something, his face showed a subtle firmness. The hesitation that had been there a while back had vanished.

A smile crept onto his lips,

“One more bottle?”

“No.”

Baek Sang shook his head,

“I don’t know about you, but I am not confident about deceiving people’s eyes if I have two bottles. And the sun will be up soon. I need to head inside.”

“Sad.”

“I am not saying we both should stop. Drink and go in without being caught.”

“You will be caught?”

“I am not like you.”

Baek Sang got up and headed forwards.

Just as Chung Myung took out another bottle and opened the stopper…

“Chung Myung.”

“Uh?”

Baek Sang looked back and said,

“Thank you.”

“…”

“You bastard.”

He smiled and waved his hand as he began to run forward.

Chung Myung watched him run ahead, then laid down and looked up at the sky.

“… my sahyung.”

I have so much to do.

“How did sahyung manage to do all of this in the past?”

-It wouldn’t have been that difficult if not for you, you!

“Still.”

‘I still feel bad.’

Chung Myung smiled,

“Still, it is good.”

It was fun.

And Chung Myung closed his eyes.

The current Mount Hua made him feel proud. A very nice sect leader and elders who all live for the sake of their disciples.

Strict, but good-natured first-class disciples, and the Baek and Chung disciples were somewhat lacking but very kind.

It was a good night.

The Mount Hua I was so fond of.

‘But…’

“Sahyung I.”

I miss you so much once in a while. Words he couldn’t bear to think.

That time.

Now I cannot go back to that time.

“Don’t make fun of me for being weaker than before. Don’t accuse me of being arrogant. At least sahyung gets to stay with the sajaes.”

Over there.

I should have followed along.

“I know. Sahyung. I have to do this. I need to make Mount Hua strong again. That way, my sahyungs, and sajaes won’t be sad. This is my responsibility.”

Chung Myung reached out and grabbed a bottle.

“But once in a while…”

He took a sip of the drink and closed his eyes. The scent spread through his mouth.

“Sometimes I just want to be silly. I mean, you understand right?”

He could remember it when he closed his eyes.

Sahyung would scream in front of him, Chung Jin being unable to hold in his laughter.

All the while Chung Gong would mutter something in the corner.

And…

The sajaes who were constantly talking.

Even as he drank under the moon, he wasn’t getting drunk and kept feeling lonely.

Until the sun came up, Chung Myung drank while looking at the sky.