Episode 33

Idwild quietly slipped out of the guest room in the middle of the night when the inn was deeply asleep.

She left the pouch of gold coins Bertrand gave her on the desk and packed her dirty sweat-soaked shirt.

Wearing the shoes given by the pretty and slender Administrator, she walked north along the path.

The path led to Buern Gorge, where deep inside lies the abandoned castle she hides in.

Idwild thought of the inn as she walked the dark and cold night path.

The large and neat exterior, the brightly lit hall and warm fireplace, the delicious smells wafting from the kitchen, and the bustling people…

The cozy guest rooms that appear when you climb the old, polished wooden stairs.

There, you’ll find a steaming bathtub, fragrant soap, and a soft bed.

If there was such a thing as a ‘home’ that Idwild longed for, it might be a place like that.

But she is someone who doesn’t belong there.

Idwild is a dark mage.

She was born with a body that channels dark magic, and her parents died young because of it.

She couldn’t settle in a proper home because her dark magic contaminated the surroundings, forcing her to move frequently.

At the inn, she faced reality.

People living in a completely different world from hers and the warm inn.

’I am just a stinking, black stain there.

I don’t belong at that inn.

I don’t fit in with the pretty and kind Hildeba, the sweet and gentle Della, or even the indifferent but caring Bertrand.

I can’t be with them.’

So, she left the inn, even leaving behind the gold coins.

She felt so wretched that using up those coins would be unbearable…

’Happiness and a comfortable life are unattainable dreams and luxuries for me.

What suits me are the damp and cold workshop and the dirty and unpleasant dark magic materials.

Avoiding people’s eyes, I’ll wander and find even deeper and darker places…

And someday… I’ll meet a lonely death that no one knows about…

If that happens…

Will I be happy…?’

Idwild stopped suddenly.

The chilly early spring night wind swept over her.

The wind penetrated her nape, making the inside of her unlined robe cold.

She pondered the thought she just had.

’If I die… will I be happy…?

If I’ve been miserable so far and a bleak life awaits me…

Maybe it’s better to die while I’m still young…’

In the endless long tunnel, the short moment with Bertrand was a glimmer of light, and it will never come again.

The darkness you see after the blinding light is even darker.

‘I’ll just… curl up in the darkness…

If I go back… it’s only darkness… then…

Yes… rather… let’s be happy…’

Idwild made a decision and started walking.

At sunrise over the mountains across the Buern River, Idwild arrived at her desired location.

It was a deep spot in the middle of the mountain, with no passersby and completely invisible from below.

There, Idwild found a suitable tree.

A tree with a thick branch that could bear her weight.

She found a good tree, and she made Velda’s Cursed Vine and hung it on the branch.

She tied a knot at the end hanging to the ground to make a noose.

The noose made of the black gleaming Cursed Vine was complete.

‘If I die here, no one will see my ugly appearance after death.’

She placed the noose around her neck.

Then, she moved her fingers to tighten the Cursed Vine.

As the Cursed Vine began to tighten around her neck, her feet slowly lifted off the ground.

“Gurk… Gurgle…”

As her neck was constricted, the sudden rush of blood caused Idwild’s face to swell and redden.

Unable to breathe, she was suddenly struck with fear.

‘I’m scared of dying…!’

Isn’t living a miserable life crawling on the ground better than dying?

’Dark mages like me will be abandoned by the Goddess and fall into hell even if we die…?

There, I will receive the evil I have done in return…?

I will be chopped up and fried in oil as dark magic ingredients for demons…?!’

A greater emotion followed the fear of death.

It was regret.

’What if I had told Bertrand that I wanted to live at the inn?

What if I had said I wanted to do chores like washing dishes or taking out the trash…?

What if Bertrand had let me live at the inn…?’

Idwild tried to move her hands to release the Cursed Vine.

“Kek… Kek…”

But due to the pain of strangulation and difficulty of breathing, she couldn’t cast the spell properly.

She tried to cut the Cursed Vine with her hands, but it was useless.

She struggled and tears streamed down her face.

Her vision blurred with tears.

Her head spun and she felt as if the ground was tilting and then returning to place repeatedly.

As she lost consciousness, Idwild saw a dazzling light.

In the holy light that filled her vision, Idwild realized that she had finally died.

’Even someone like me… the Goddess must have come to meet me as one of her creations…

A cursed life…

In the next life, as a weak, powerless, and ordinary person… again…’

The Holy Sword, burning brightly, cut through the Cursed Vine with terrifying sparks.

I caught the falling Idwild just in time.

Then I pried the Cursed Vine from around her neck with my hands.

“Haa… Haa…!”

Idwild gasped for air like a fish out of water as her airway opened.

“Haa… Haa…!”

Clutching her neck with both hands and looking at me with bloodshot eyes, Idwild drooled.

“Oh… Look at you…”

I held her and slowly sat down on the ground.

And I waited there until she regained her breath.

After a while, Idwild’s breathing gradually became more regular.

Idwild moved her dry, cracked lips.

“Bertrand…”

Her voice was hoarse.

Her eyes, filled with blood, were red, and her neck was bruised in the pattern of the Cursed Vine.

“Why… are you here…”

She managed to say just that and then coughed violently.

“Shut up, you crazy woman.”

I carried her and walked over to the horse standing nearby.

“Be careful. Hold on tight.”

I put Idwild on first, and when I got on behind her, the horse seemed slightly annoyed.

I rode the horse down the forest path.

“What were you thinking, coming up to such a rough place?”

“To die… in a place… where no one knows…”

“Die? Bullshit.”

“I thought… dying would be… happier than this…”

Exhausted, Idwild fell back and leaned against me.

When she wobbled and almost fell off to the side, I quickly wrapped my arm around her waist.

Leaning on me, Idwild whispered.

“If I hadn’t known anything… I wouldn’t have known how dark the darkness is…”

“What are you talking about.”

“Once you’ve seen the light… when you go back to the darkness… you can’t see anything…”

I kept silent as Idwild continued whispering.

Now is not the time for me to speak.

“To adapt to the darkness again… you have to endure the terrifying time when you can’t see… And…”

Idwild paused for a moment.

“And… even if you adapt to the darkness… it’s not the familiar darkness from before… It’s just a shadow, always waiting and longing for the light to shine again…”

Idwild, leaning her head on my chest, turned her head slightly.

“Bertrand… the short moment I spent with you… was a light for me… and it made the familiar darkness… completely unfamiliar…”

She spoke with a sigh.

“A dark mage… doesn’t curse others… Is a bad person who tries to share the curse they received… with others…”

She laughed softly.

I was slightly surprised.

It was the first time Idwild laughed out loud.

“What I’m saying is… forget everything before the sun sets today… I don’t want to stain your shining life with me… I’m going back to my own world…”

“Where is that.”

“A dark… cold… dark mage’s… fate. That miserable and cursed… lonely world.”

Her belly twitched under my arm.

As her belly twitched, her shoulders shook as if she was crying.

Yes, cry.

Whether you cry or not, life sucks, so you might as well cry and feel a bit better.

After that, Idwild didn’t say anything until we got back to the inn.

As we entered the inn’s yard, Della, who was waiting outside, ran towards us.

“Oh my! What happened to your neck…!”

Della exclaimed in shock at the sight of the clear bruises on her neck.

“How did you get hurt?!”

“It’s okay…”

Idwild said gloomily as she got off the horse.

“Della. Get a glass of lukewarm water.”

“Ah… Yes!”

Kali still avoided Idwild and crawled back into her kennel.

“Bertrand… I’ll just leave…”

“Come inside. Rest for a while.”

“No… I’ve been here too long… If I stay longer, the dark magic…”

“Forget that, come inside. We need to talk.”

“What talk…?”

I grabbed Idwild’s arm, who kept hesitating, and pulled her into the inn.

I intended to sit at a table in the hall, but she seemed too exhausted, so we went up to a guest room.

When I sat Idwild on the bed, Della, who had followed us in, handed her the glass of lukewarm water.

Idwild slowly drank the water and soon started coughing.

“I think we need to see a doctor…!”

“Go downstairs for now. We need to talk.”

After Della closed the door and left, I looked into Idwild’s eyes.

She sat slanted, holding the corner of the bed, avoiding my gaze.

“Hey.”

“Hmm…”

“What are you going to do for a living when you go back?”

“…I don’t know. I don’t know yet…”

I glanced at the pouch of gold coins on the desk.

“Have you thought about earning a stable income, even if it’s a small amount?”

“I want to, but… dark magic can’t stay in one place for long…”

“What if that could be resolved.”

Idwild, who had been avoiding my gaze, looked at me.

“That’s… impossible… Dark magic circulates in my body… unless I die, it…”

“There’s a way.”

Idwild had a look of absolute disbelief.

I calmly explained the method to her.

Then Idwild screamed in a hoarse voice.

“That’s not possible…!”