Episode 648

When one was at the bottom of a list, there was no burden on them because there was nothing lower to fall to, nor anything to protect.

Burden came into existence when there was something to lose, not when one had something to achieve.

“Sausk. I…”

As soon as Kwak Ho opened his mouth to speak, Baek Sang slightly raised his hand and interrupted him.

“Ah, wait, wait.”

“Uh?”

Kwak Ho’s eyes filled with doubt at that unexpected action.

“I will speak in advance; do not expect that I will provide you with a proper answer to the question you have or that your worries will be resolved by this small talk with me.”

“…”

“I am not such a great person. I am already dying because my work is hard to handle.”

“… I really don’t have the will.”

“Life is something one lives alone.”

At Baek Sang’s words, Kwak Ho eventually burst into laughter, and Baek Sang asked.

“You mean that following them is getting difficult?”

“It is actually not that…”

“If it is different, it means what it means.”

Baek Sang shrugged his shoulders.

“As I said a moment back, everyone is worried about it, and you aren’t the only one who is special.”

“…”

“Think about it. I cannot tell someone to take it easy when the man who is my sahyung is running insanely right in front of me, and I cannot tell someone who is holding 15 times more burden than me to slow down.”

“R-right.”

As Baek Sang spoke, his face slowly turned angry.

“At least the people you should follow are those half-assed people like Yoon Jong and Jo Guk.”

“H-half ass?”

Sahyung?

To Kwak Ho, Yoon Jong and Jo Guk were exemplary people he could never speak ill of. But, when Baek Sang said those words, he had no choice but to be convinced of it.

“I mean, the person I should be following is Baek Cheon sahyung, damn it.”

“Ahh…”

At that moment, Kwak Ho genuinely empathized with Baek Sang from the bottom of his heart.

“I am in a better position.”

Compared to Baek Cheon, Jo Gul and Yoon Jong at least possessed something called humanity within them. Surely, if Chung Myung were added, a whole new story would form, but well, that guy wasn’t someone anyone could be compared with.

“And, as if sahyung is the only problem? There’s samae, who is like a ghost, and now even the sajil bastards are swinging their blades like animal fangs…”

“…things must be difficult.”

“Are you just saying it?”

Baek Sang gritted his teeth.

“I knew this would happen, so I ran away to the Finance Hall right then… damn it, what is running away going to even do? I thought I wouldn’t have to practice if I shifted there. Well, training has to be done according to the training and then work in the Finance Hall again…”

“…”

Surely, one would smile if they saw he escaped to the Finance Hall, but the truth was that Baek Sang was having a lot of trouble juggling both works.

“Meanwhile, my sahyung is busy training, abandoning everything he has to do as a great sahyung. People who should go to sahyungs when something is bothering them are coming to me and complaining about their training.”

“…I was in the wrong.”

When Kwak Ho thought that he was one of them, he felt seriously bad.

“Tsk.”

Baek Sang clicked his tongue in displeasure, gulped his drink down, and sighed.

“But.”

“Yes.”

“But that doesn’t mean I am having the hardest time.”

“…”

His gaze was at the banquet hall.

“Like I said before, just because they are drinking and being cheerful there, it doesn’t mean they are devoid of thoughts. Everyone is surely carrying a burden of their own.”

Kwak Ho quietly nodded.

“Mount Hua is getting stronger at a shocking pace. And sometimes I also get scared like you. I am afraid that at some point, everyone will be ahead of me, and I will be left all alone. I am afraid I will not be able to meet the minimum qualities I need to have as a disciple.”

“… right, Sasuk.”

These were the words that expressed the stressful thoughts Kwak Ho harbored.

It was indeed a good thing for a monk to grow and become stronger.

However, if one thought about it from another perspective, it implied that the burdens and stress each individual carried on their shoulders were gradually increasing.

“Maybe the burden you feel now will never leave you. No, perhaps it will only grow.”

“From here on out?”

“The more you win, the more enemies you make.”

Baek Sang was calm as if he had already considered all these points.

“The Mount Hua of the past always followed those ahead. Because there were Southern Edge and Wudang ahead, and we all had nothing to lose even if we lost.”

“…”

“But that isn’t the case anymore. Because now we all have something to lose, and the other sects will gradually begin to keep us in check and target us constantly.”

Baek Sang took a gentle pause and turned to the sky.

‘I didn’t know all this before.’

A skilled swordsman who swung his sword. There was a time when he only saw that shining hero image in front of him as his goal.

But now he realized it.

What lay behind that brightness?

It was also true that even though the Five Swords had built up a good reputation, he wasn’t happy.

Rather, the burden they feel will be on a different level from the burden felt by Baek Sang or Kwak Ho.

“Then what do I do?”

“Uh?”

“To shake off the burden…”

“What have you heard so far?”

Baek Sang laughed brightly as he scolded Kwak Ho.

“I am saying not to expect anything from me. I am not the person who can give an answer to that.”

“…”

Kwak Ho’s face suddenly turned sullen. He couldn’t figure out why he was smiling so brightly while saying those words.

“Is there any way there is an answer to it?”

Baek Sang mumbled bitterly.

“Just hold on and endure.”

“… what do you mean?”

“What other answer can there be?”

Still, the small amount of respect he had for Baek Sang began to rise with this, and then it vanished too.

‘Was this man always this helpless?’

He didn’t think he was like this before…

It felt like Mount Hua’s Chung Myung had gone too far.

“What is with your eyes?”

“… No, nothing.”

“You’re looking at me with cocky eyes?”

“…”

Kwak Ho slightly looked away.

But then, Baek Sang opened his mouth in a slightly different voice than before.

“You see, I am feeling.”

“Uh?”

“A guy who doesn’t feel pressure cannot get strong.”

“…”

Kwak Ho flinched at that.

Baek Sang’s words pierced his ears strangely and clearly.

“Not having any pressure means not having any concerns, and not having that means not being alert. Didn’t you see clearly with your eyes today what happens to those who leisurely learn the sword without any worries?”

“… True.”

Of course, Wudang weren’t people who could be underestimated that much.

However, the difference between Mount Hua, who had thought intensely, and the Wudang, who had a well-brought-up, peaceful learning, was pretty clear today.

“It is always burdensome. The ones on top will rush ahead insanely, and those following will run crazily.”

“…”

“But it is true that we came this far because we are in the middle.”

“… Yes.”

“So think about it more.”

Baek Sang, who drank alcohol, slowly got up from the bed.

“Being concerned and worried has value. I don’t know if a clear answer can be found… but it isn’t wrong to feel burdened by it.”

“…”

“Tsk. I am leaving. You are good company for drinking, and you came to me for no reason.”

“You are leaving?”

“I need to sleep. The place where I got hit is still so sore that I feel like I will die.”

Baek Sang turned around and waved without looking at him. Kwak Ho, who stared at his back, spoke loudly without realizing.

“S-sasuk!”

“What!”

Baek Sang looked around anxiously while Kwak Ho bowed his head.

“… thank you.”

“Gratitude, my ass.”

Annoyed, Baek Sang waved his hands, jumped down from the roof without any hesitation, and trudged away.

Only when he was out of sight did Kwak Ho sit down.

“… not wrong…”

He didn’t find a clear answer, nor was he concerned about what to do next. But as he pondered those words, he felt more at ease.

He quietly observed the light emanating from the banquet hall and mumbled softly,

“Everyone is the same.”

Everyone was carrying their own burden.

“Ehhh.”

Baek Sang turned his head, looked at the tip of the pavilion, and clicked his tongue lightly.

‘It is a nice thing.’

Until now, it was just about doing what you were told. But that’s no longer possible. As Mount Hua found more work to do and disciples other than the Five Swords were given more responsibilities, these concerns would start to increase.

And they would get stronger through those worries.

“Tsk. What am I saying repeatedly…”

“No. It wasn’t that bad.”

Flinch.

Baek Sang’s body suddenly went stiff at the familiar voice. After standing in silence for a while, he asked in a shaky voice without turning around,

“You saw it?”

“Yes.”

“… since when?”

“From the start.”

“From the start?”

He turned his head to see Baek Cheon smiling at the moon.

“… No. Why are you keeping an eye on me?”

“My lovely sajil left with a sad look on their face, so I just followed to see what was happening.”

“But you didn’t care when your sajae came out?”

“My sajae is so good at handling things; why would I?”

“…”

Baek Sang’s face turned red.

“Such a show-off, seriously!”

“Haha!”

When Baek Cheon smiled without an answer, Baek Sang, embarrassed for no reason, turned his head nervously.

“Ehh!”

He felt embarrassed because it felt like his true feelings had been exposed. His ears and the back of his neck grew hot, too.

“Where are you going!”

“To my room!”

“Already?”

“You won easily without being hit, but I got beaten! I need to rest!

“Even so, can’t we have a drink?”

“… Uh?

When Baek Sang turned around, Baek Cheon was waving an alcohol bottle in one hand as if showing it off.

“It’s been a while since we had a drink together. How have you been?”

“…”

Baek Sang scratched his head and sighed as if he had no other choice.

“Fine, but don’t mention what I said earlier.”

“Once alcohol is involved, you never know what might happen.”

Baek Cheon smiled softly and patted Baek Sang.

Just as he was desperate to support Chung Myung, the other disciples of Mount Hua had been doing their best, too.

After realizing this again, his heart felt full of gratitude.

“Let’s go.”

“Where, with the injuries…”

“I need to take care of my favorite sajae.”

“… today, for the first time, you’re speaking like that.”

Baek Cheon patted Baek Sang’s shoulder again, which ended with laughter, and slowly walked ahead. Baek Sang silently looked at him.

“You won’t come?”

“… I’m coming.”

Baek Sang laughed and ran to Baek Cheon.

‘So changed.’

Right, he changed so much. So much had changed that he couldn’t be compared to his past self.

Even with the rapidly changing future of Mount Hua.

Maybe it would be a different Mount Hua from what Baek Sang was imagining. But there were definitely some things that didn’t change.

‘Right, even so, Mount Hua will still be Mount Hua.’

“Come on, now!”

“Ah, don’t dawdle!”

The bright moon quietly shone behind the two people who were playing around and ended up waddling.

A night where the light was unusually bright, and everything in the world seemed equally bright.