2-8 A Meal In The Dungeon

After that, we set up camp in a nearby open space that looked like a large chamber.

“This place was probably a monster house where monsters used to spawn long ago. These days it’s used as a rest area.”

Looking around more closely, I saw that there were about two other groups of adventurers there as well.

For lunch, we set out a table and chairs and began lining up the food.

First, Erin, Ed, and I started eating.

Cold juice, salad with ham on the side.

Freshly fried karaage and soft roll bread.

And tamagoyaki with cup soup.

It wasn’t anything extravagant, but here in a dungeon it definitely counted as a feast.

Normally, adventurer meals were much more modest.

Apparently it was usually hard-baked bread and water, dried vegetables as-is, and tough dried meat focused on preservation.

If there were dried fruits as well, that was considered a luxury.

Without someone who could use water magic, even securing water was a problem, and you couldn’t even make it very far down in the first place.

Nutritionally speaking, it might not have been that bad, but there was no way I wanted to eat that.

The stares from the other adventurers were painfully sharp.

Hey, you guys could’ve brought something nice too, you know?

Most of this was basically just a normal breakfast menu, not really a feast at all.

But Erin was eating with visible excitement over every bite.

“I can’t believe we can eat something this delicious inside a dungeon!”

Then she stared straight at me, as if urging me on.

“Cream puffs are for snack time later. Dessert after the meal is pudding.”

I set out pudding on paper plates.

Erin looked curiously at the way it wobbled, but after one bite she seemed utterly shocked.

She shoveled it in with total focus.

As usual, she silently demanded seconds.

She finished her third one in no time, and when she reached for another, Ed scolded her.

“That’s enough, Erin. Dennis and Lois won’t be able to eat. What will you do if monsters show up right after this?”

Having been lectured by Ed, the party leader, she reluctantly gave up the table to the remaining two, and I joined Ed and the others on watch duty.

This was part of adventurer training too.

After taking a short rest, we continued on at a leisurely pace.

Dungeon exploration as post-meal exercise, huh.

Even I had to admit it felt rather elegant.

When kobolds appeared, I defeated them with a sword this time.

They had heads just like dogs, which made them a tough opponent for dog lovers, but unfortunately for them, I was a cat person, so I cut them down without mercy.

Well, I loved real dogs too, of course.

Letting friendly dogs play with me during walks was one of my favorite things.

First, I fought using only Physical Enhancement with a normal sword.

Next, I tested various magic swords.

Then I defeated them using different beginner spells, and tried throwing knives, axes, and stones.

I even took some down barehanded.

After that, I tried clubs, and even fought using a sword scabbard.

In the end, it felt like with my current strength, I could dominate monsters of this level no matter how many appeared or how I fought.

I didn’t even get a scratch.

If anything, the faster, wolf-like types were more troublesome.

I hadn’t noticed because I was so focused on fighting, but it seemed the others had been doing the monster harvesting.

That was included in the contract.

We had defeated quite a number of monsters by now, but since they were all low-rank, I was told I wouldn’t be able to advance to D-rank no matter how many I killed.

I see… that was a bit disappointing.

Still, adventurer licenses had validity periods based on rank, and thanks to the monsters I defeated this time, my E-rank license would be extended by about six months.

If I were F-rank, it would only be three months, so the benefit of having ranked up to E-rank by dealing with bandits really showed.

“Um… what about the cream puffs?”

Erin stared at me intently.

Oh—right. I’d completely forgotten.

Even if you look at me with such intense eyes…

Well, you were probably staring at an imaginary cream puff, not me.

“Sorry, sorry, I forgot. We’re heading back soon, so just one.”

As soon as I handed it to her, she bit into it right there.

“Whoa—this is sweet too!”

She finished it in an instant, then looked at me again with a sticky gaze and refused to move, so I gave her another as we walked.

When she demanded a fourth, Ed once again said, “Erin, that’s enough already. At this rate, we’ll never get back to the inn,” and so on.

That evening, we discussed the remaining schedule over dinner in town.

The final day would be the travel day back to the Royal Capital, so we effectively had four days left.

We’d push as far as we reasonably could, check the situation, and then call it.

There wasn’t any particular exploration objective this time, so that was fine.

If I had to name one goal, it was to increase the variety of monsters I encountered and gain as much experience as possible.

I’d already defeated plenty of monsters, so when returning to the Royal Capital, I wouldn’t have to line up at the gate.

Advancing to D-rank could wait.

First, I needed to get used to dungeon and monster combat.

To the point where I could enter transfer-type dungeons alone.

Learning teleportation magic together with other adventurers like this would be awkward, after all.

At the latest, we’d turn back from the dungeon on the morning of the third day.

In the worst case, if we hurried back from around two in the afternoon on the fifth day, we’d make it in time.

That evening, I looked around the dungeon city a bit.

I was interested in brothels and gambling halls, but starting tomorrow we’d be diving seriously into the dungeon.

This wasn’t Las Vegas, where I was used to coming and going, so I decided to avoid unnecessary trouble.

If I wanted to come, I could always come back later.

I even had a car, and with my current physical abilities, running twenty kilometers from the Royal Capital wouldn’t be a problem.

Day nineteen in another world arrived.

At last, real dungeon exploration began!

Since there weren’t many monsters on the first floor, we ran straight through.

The second floor was similar, so we hurried along while shooting down monsters as we passed.

Since I’d once carelessly been hit by a slime before, and this time we were in a hurry, Dennis was put in charge of watching out for the dungeon’s famous killer slimes.

Of course, if I spotted one myself, it would immediately become fuel for the flamethrower.

If only they were dried squid, I could’ve grilled and eaten them.

We reached the wolf zone on the third floor in an hour.

We engaged them while running.

I blew them away one after another with wind magic.

Since they were highly mobile, wide-area magic worked better than aiming at each one with a gun.

We blasted everything we encountered and cleared this floor in another hour.

The fourth floor was the bee zone.

B-big.

They were about forty centimeters long.

I really hated bees.

Especially hornets.

My father loved hebo larvae—hornet larvae—and apparently used to lead his childhood friends on hunts for them.

My cousins, who were part of that group, also loved eating them.

To hell with that.

I absolutely didn’t want these things’ larvae.

Besides, these monsters didn’t even have a larval stage; they spawned from the dungeon already as adults.

And if they did have larvae, wouldn’t they be bigger than rhinoceros beetle grubs?

Probably over thirty centimeters long.

Who would want something that insane?

I didn’t want normal-sized larvae either.

Just seeing hebo dishes sold deep in the mountains of Aichi Prefecture made me sick.

I shot these down mercilessly with flamethrower magic and vortex-type wind magic.

Well, that was why we were in the dungeon today—to fight monsters like this.

We entered at six in the morning, and it was now nine.

We decided to take a short break.

We’d been running nonstop with high spirits, so mentally I was tired.

My strengthened, rejuvenated body didn’t tire easily, but my mind was still that of an old man.

I prepared for the break and had cookies and coffee.

The pudding was saved for afternoon snack time.

The stimulating aroma of coffee drifted through the monster nest, but it seemed only weak monsters were around, and we were alone.

With Ed’s permission, we spread out mats and a picnic sheet and ended up enjoying ourselves for a full thirty minutes.

Compared to when I’d first faced a Gryon alone, this was nothing more than a pleasure trip.

With Erin completely absorbed in snacks, it felt even more so.

The fifth floor had snake monsters.

Their mottled appearance was grotesque.

They were about twenty centimeters thick and five meters long.

Swallowing one human whole would probably make them full.

If this were a cannon, based on barrel-length-to-caliber calculations, it’d be about a short twenty-five-caliber barrel.

They were huge, and unlike Earth creatures, as monsters they had a B-movie vibe to their appearance.

Their oversized heads and rows of fangs really sold that atmosphere.

They were fast, and being constricted would be dangerous, so I kept decapitating them with wind magic.

Still, they kept spawning like writhing worms.

Apparently, their meat was a popular commodity.

Soup and grilled dishes were especially popular.

It felt just like Hong Kong.

Wasn’t snake soup popular there?

I’d once had a chance to go to Hong Kong before it was returned to China, but I missed it.

Tours were insanely popular back then.

People believed Hong Kong would change completely after the return, so everyone rushed to go before that, driving prices through the roof.

The sixth floor was the giant lizard zone.

These had camouflage.

They were obvious on my radar, though.

Being lizards, they were fast, but unlike wolves they didn’t run along walls, and I heard their bellies were thin, so I skewered every last one with Earth Lance.

I filled the entire floor with stone spikes, wiping out the invisible enemies in one sweep.

Once dead, they finally became visible.

Chameleons weren’t actually invisible animals, so in that sense, these monsters were quite impressive.

If anything, I imagined these clinging to walls more than wolves.

It was a bit early, but we decided to have lunch.

Today’s dish was ginger pork instead of karaage.

Of course, it was pre-cooked.

Since Erin stared at me, I firmly told her two puddings max before handing them over.

Today, she ate them more carefully.

Since we hadn’t encountered any real traps so far, I asked about it, and apparently there weren’t any until after the tenth floor.

On top of that, treasure chests had become rare lately.

That was disappointing.

Treasure chests were a man’s romance.

I’d wanted to practice disarming chest traps today.

And surely, that famous monster that always came with chests must exist!

If I ran into it, I’d deliberately open the chest unguarded, fall into the trap, and wrestle inside the box.

The seventh floor had giant spiders with leg spans of about a meter.

They looked like tarantulas, so they were probably venomous.

These too went down easily with guns and the flamethrower.

Despite looking like crawler-type tarantulas, they were fast like cockroaches, which was unsettling.

For their size, their bodies were small, but being venomous and fast made them dangerous.

We pushed forward, but for some reason there were lots of slimes.

They even dropped from above.

They really spawned everywhere.

Like leaks during a heavy rain.

Apparently, this dungeon’s specialty was called “killer slime rain.”

Just the title “Ceiling Assassin” that they carried was enough to make me sick, and now they were raining down.

As we descended toward the eighth floor, someone suddenly called out.

“Hey! You got any antidote?”

Two men lay pale-faced in the corner of the corridor, with two others tending to them.

“We got hit by poison slimes. We used our antidotes on bees earlier.”

Then why did you keep going?

“I can use healing magic. Let me take a look.”

“Thank you! I owe you. I’m Robert, this is Tony. The ones groaning over there are Mirey and Lloyd.”

“I’m Alphonse. I’m a merchant.”

This was still the upper layer of the dungeon.

The poison wasn’t serious.

There was no need for High Poison Heal.

I treated the mild symptoms quickly and asked for information.

“We got hit by poison slimes that rarely appear around here. We were short on cash, so we pushed ahead recklessly and ended up like this. Lately, monster spawns have been strange in some areas. Be careful.”

I instinctively looked at Ed, and he tilted his head too.

“We haven’t been coming here much lately either. We probably should’ve gathered more information. Since this was training, we may have let our guard down.”

After giving them some antidote potions and telling them to head back up for now, we parted ways.

The time was now two thirty in the afternoon.

It was an awkward break, but we decided to push through three more floors.

The eighth floor was bats—huge ones, Ogasawara-class size.

Unlike the Ogasawara fruit bats, though, these apparently didn’t taste good.

Fruit bats ate fruit, after all.

These useless things were wiped out with wind magic and flamethrower dominance.

They just attacked in numbers.

They didn’t use ultrasonic attacks or anything.

Still, flying enemies in numbers were troublesome.

They had huge fangs and looked vicious.

Fortunately, there were plenty of bright lights illuminating the ceiling, so darkness—normally their advantage—didn’t work in their favor.

The ninth floor was the giant scorpion zone.

These were also about a meter long and pretty intimidating.

Honestly, disgusting.

I’d once bought a preserved scorpion souvenir in the US, but this was on another level.

Getting stabbed by a venomous tail like that would instantly kill a human.

But they seemed slow.

Showy but weak.

Their shells were hard, but compared to the spiders earlier, they were much easier.

They too became food for Earth Lance.

The tenth floor was giant centipedes.

About three meters long.

But that was all they had going for them.

They were fairly fast, but magic made quick work of them.

They were perfect for magic drills.

Still, being huge and highly venomous, they’d be a serious threat on upper floors.

Apparently, poison-type monsters made good medicine ingredients.

If it were me, I’d preserve them in oil for ointments, or maybe in shochu for something more niche.

They’d make quite the spectacle in a jar.

With expanded copying, I could make jars as big as I wanted anyway.

It was now five thirty in the evening.

“We made it surprisingly far in one day. I thought it’d take two days to reach this point, but Alphonse-san was unstoppable.”

“Well, having escorts watching everything makes it easy. There really are places suitable for camping, huh.”

We chose another old monster house-like area as our campsite.

It was much smaller than yesterday’s.

“This is a well-trodden labyrinth. Let’s set up camp here. Could you put out just one tent?”

“No, no. I have one for myself too.”

I just wanted to try using my own tent.

“No, we should stay together in case something happens. What those men said earlier worries me.”

“Understood. Then…”

I set up the tent, mats, and sheets.

Then I arranged tables and chairs.

“Is it okay if I do a little cooking?”

Ed considered it, then shook his head.

“No, let’s avoid it. After what we heard earlier, we shouldn’t attract monsters with smells. Other adventurers might come too. Cooking with fire is bad manners in a dungeon. Strong-smelling food is the same. Normally, it’s hard bread and dried meat.”

I see. So curry was out.

No problem.

I had plenty of hot water and warm food prepared.

Then I took something out.

“What’s that?”

“A shower.”

“A shower?”

A stand-type portable shower.

It was a boxed unit so you couldn’t see inside, and warm water came out when you turned the tap.

In reality, it was just cleverly connected to my inventory, so there was no special mechanism.

The drainage was handled the same way.

Ed looked exasperated, but Erin—the sole woman on the team—had sparkling eyes.

We took turns showering and preparing dinner.

We didn’t use soap to avoid smells.

Even so, the warm water washed away grease and felt refreshing.

For dinner, I chose ham steak.

It smelled less than steak.

And it was already cooked.

For soup, I avoided consommé due to the smell and used cup soup instead.

I’d really wanted to serve a hearty pot-au-feu, though.

We had bread, salad, and a bit of meat sauce spaghetti too.

I wanted beer, but I refrained.

This expedition was for my training.

If I drank alcohol despite the high evaluation I’d gotten, my reputation would suffer.

After getting a briefing on tomorrow, we turned in early.

The four of them took turns on watch in two-hour shifts.

Time was measured with an hourglass.

Good work.

I set my radar to alert mode and fell asleep instantly.

Day twenty in another world.

I woke at five, went to the toilet (in a corner!), washed my face with water from the jug, and ate breakfast.

Breakfast was omelets with yogurt.

Erin immediately fell in love with yogurt.

Then we finally advanced to the eleventh floor.

This was orcs.

From here on, it was the E-rank zone.

They’re here!

Clatter.

Where’s the female knight?

At last, I’d meet a “kukoru-san.”

My radar picked them up immediately.

And two kukoru-sans approached!

I set my magic rifle to Stone Bullet mode and fired nonstop.

The orcs collapsed spectacularly, riddled with holes.

Oh!

As expected of pure fodder.

This magic gun was far more powerful than the real firearm it was based on.

With firepower comparable to a twenty-millimeter autocannon, even armored vehicles wouldn’t stand a chance.

I might even be able to take down King Kong.

In the version I saw as a middle schooler, King Kong got taken out easily by what looked like a twenty-millimeter autocannon from attack helicopters.

Back then, Kong wasn’t CGI but an actual robot.

CG technology couldn’t even make movies yet.

We collected the defeated orcs thoroughly.

There were plenty of simple traps around, but with Dennis there, we avoided them easily.

Mostly pitfall traps.

With trap detection, they were easy to find.

I could avoid them with skills too, so I practiced evasion.

This was the core curriculum of dungeon training.

I even got some practice disarming traps.

We pushed deeper and deeper.

The twelfth floor was hobgoblins.

Were these considered stronger than orcs?

Despite being goblins, they were as big as large humans.

They were also quite sturdy.

To check their strength, I took out all but one with the magic rifle, then fought the last with a sword.

They were definitely stronger than orcs.

They even wielded swords—probably stolen from adventurers.

Orcs usually only had clubs they could swing with brute force.

Hobgoblins were upper-tier fodder monsters, so their intelligence was higher.

Because I practiced close combat, it took about three hours to clear two floors.

We took a stylish tea break.

I brought out bagged and boxed sweets from Earth, and Erin savored them again.

The thirteenth floor was hob kobolds.

They weren’t much different from hobgoblins.

But being canine monsters, they sometimes ran on all fours despite their humanoid shape, making them quite fast.

Almost like monkeys.

Because of that, they were treated as one floor higher than hobgoblins.

Being low to the ground made them awkward for melee combat.

For now, humanoid monsters were just fodder for the magic rifle, so I shot them down relentlessly.

The fourteenth floor had harpies.

Th-this was… the real thing was grotesque.

The face looked like a Garuda.

The huge talons on their feet were pure menace.

Didn’t they have a wingspan of six meters?

Since they flew around, the space here was wide enough to accommodate them.

They annoyed me, so I shredded them with Air Cutter.

If you’re going to have harpies, at least make them beautiful with sexy breasts.

Near the end of the fourteenth floor, we found a good rest spot and took lunch.

Today’s lunch was gohei mochi.

It was a famous regional dish from tourist areas in Aichi Prefecture, and I’d completely forgotten I had it.

I remembered now—I’d bought it on impulse.

For just a few hundred yen, being able to eat delicious local food endlessly in another world made me truly happy.

This was why you shouldn’t disobey the Seventh Sense.

The slightly savory smell spread, but Ed didn’t complain and ate silently.

He must’ve liked it.

For dessert tea time, at Erin’s request, we went with pudding.

Then suddenly, someone came tumbling in.

Literally stumbling in with unsteady steps.

They looked well-dressed but were in tatters.

Did they want gohei mochi?

“Oh! Adventurers! Please, come with me!”

Oh ho, this smelled like trouble.

I could sense “that guy” stirring inside me.

An incident like this happening at such perfect timing had to be the work of someone deliberately setting it up.