2-10 His Highness Prince Emilio

By the way—what happened to Grandpa Ruba?

I hurried back to the original spot, retrieved the chimera’s tail and my spear, then peeked into the room where His Highness and the others had been.

It looked like they’d escaped properly—no one was inside.

As I moved along and checked the radar, I saw people gathering where the old man had come stumbling in earlier.

Startled, I ran over—

and there, besides the old man and the prince’s group, Ed and the others were still there too.

“Huh? Why did you stay behind? I was sure you’d gone to call for help.”

But Ed shook his head.

“If we went now, we wouldn’t make it in time. We were trying to figure out how to help you escape.”

I laughed, and with genuine gratitude, lightly patted his back.

“Thanks, Ed. You’re a real man.”

Then I approached the small royal, dropped to one knee, and greeted him respectfully.

“Are you His Highness Prince Emilio? I’m glad you’re safe. The chimera has been defeated, so please rest easy. My name is Alphonse.”

“Mmm. Alphonse, was it? You did well. Did you truly defeat that monster alone?”

Prince Emilio asked with eyes glittering like light dancing on water, brimming with curiosity.

Well, that fight was practically a Greek myth scene—any boy would be captivated.

“Yes. I took it down.”

I answered with a warm smile.

Heh. What an adorable prince.

Even kneeling like this, I couldn’t help smiling.

“Tell me all about it later!”

His curiosity, perfectly fitting for his age, made him instantly likable.

It must have been a harsh ordeal for such a young prince.

“Of course.”

And I didn’t forget to press the old man again.

“So, old man— you haven’t forgotten our promise, right?”

“I understand. Alphonse, you have done great service. I will fulfill our promise without fail. More importantly, His Highness looks utterly exhausted. Sorry to ask, but I want you to prepare food and shelter. And I want you to provide escort until we return to the surface.”

Well, that was only natural.

“Fine. I’ll accept that. But these people are adventurers, so I want compensation appropriate to the job rank.”

“Understood. Then I’m counting on you.”

“So that’s the deal—Ed, you’re fine with it too, right?”

“Yes, that’s fine, but… did you really defeat the chimera?”

I pulled out only the creature’s tail for him to see, and laughed.

Suddenly producing a blood-soaked head would be far too much for women and children.

“Yeah. It was a pain, but I killed it properly. If you don’t finish something like that, it can stalk you from behind during a retreat. Man, A-rank monsters are stubborn. If I don’t raise my spell levels, the future looks grim. Is this what they call a dungeon trial?”

“…You’re unbelievable,” Ed muttered, completely exasperated.

“All right, then.”

No helping it—there was a prince here.

I’d have to bring that out today.

I dropped a bungalow into existence with a thud.

Everyone gasped at the unfamiliar object.

Even if it was just a simple wooden prefab building, it looked nothing like the world’s usual construction.

To people of this world, it probably looked as alien as an industrial product from Earth.

Like the difference between a lumpy, ancient Roman-era gold coin and a modern commemorative coin—precise, standardized, and assembled exactly as designed.

And the design itself had a soft, Japanese feel, which also made it stand out from local styles.

“Please, Your Highness. Rest here.”

He had two attendants.

One was a female guard—apparently a mage of some sort.

The other seemed to be a maid.

I produced two more bungalows—one for us, and one for the maid and the guard.

The first one would be for the old man and His Highness.

I’d already put bedding inside.

I avoided using heaters.

It might actually make him sick.

We still had to get back to the surface.

And it wasn’t that cold here anyway.

Just like I’d heard, the dungeon probably regulated temperature to something comfortable.

Honestly, bringing out bungalows felt a bit much, but I couldn’t exactly put a prince in an adventurer’s tent.

Inside, I laid futons over an aluminum-coated mat, set blankets, and prepared a proper comforter.

I added a good pillow too.

Pillows mattered.

I’d tested and prototyped a bunch back home while browsing online.

“Apologies for such a crude hut, but please bear with it.”

“So you have storage.”

The old man sounded impressed.

“Hah. A merchant’s little indulgence.”

“What? You’re not an adventurer?”

That surprised him.

Well, yeah—an ordinary merchant doesn’t solo an A-rank monster.

“I’m an adventurer too, but my main work is being a merchant. All right, then—let’s get dinner ready—”

I was about to prepare food, when the maid spoke up.

“Before that… could you prepare a bath? We abandoned all our luggage when we fled.”

That was her request.

“I only have a shower.”

“A shower?”

“This.”

I produced the shower box and let warm water run to demonstrate.

“Oh—this. In the Queen’s homeland, they store rainwater and use it like this. The climate is rainy there. But warm water is wonderful.”

I explained how to use it, produced another bungalow, and installed the shower box inside.

I also made sure the bungalow was properly screened from view.

“How about this?”

I set out soap, towels, a T-shirt, a sweatshirt, underwear—whatever I could.

I couldn’t exactly deny soap to a prince.

If the scent lured monsters, I’d just fight.

There was no way a chimera-like freak would show up again on this floor.

According to Ed, a chimera was more like a floor boss that belonged below the fortieth level.

So why had it abandoned its territory and wandered up here?

What was it—out for a stroll?

A dog or what?

Though if you asked me dog-versus-cat, it felt more like a cat.

At least the face was a lion.

A lioness, since it had no mane.

Not ideal as a trophy head for wall mounting.

“Sorry, but I don’t have women’s spare clothes…”

“It can’t be helped. Thank you.”

She looked a little disappointed.

Well—after that chaos, she’d definitely been sweating, and she probably wanted at least a change of underwear.

Back home, I still had novelty gag items like “canned underwear” from a gift exchange, and “capsule underwear” I’d won at an old 24-hour drive-in arcade— but obviously I hadn’t brought nonsense like that camping.

That capsule prize had been something a Brazilian old guy asked me to win for him, and then he said he didn’t want it, so it ended up in my house anyway.

And the design was too suggestive to hand to a noble-looking lady.

I’d never even opened the canned underwear, so I didn’t know what was inside.

After thirty years, it might have degraded into dust.

If I restored it before opening, maybe it would work— but either way, I hadn’t brought it.

The only cans I’d brought were food.

I set up an aluminum table for meals.

Camping chairs too.

But watching a tiny prince sit in one felt… off.

Better to have him eat at the table built into the bungalow.

Those were made for families, so children could use them easily.

The aluminum table would be ours.

Then I spoke to the female guard outside the bungalow.

“What should we do about His Highness’s meal? I can prepare something decent, but I heard cooking over a fire in a dungeon is bad manners. Or rather, it attracts monsters.”

Ugh.

Saying that line made me feel like I was going to cough up blood.

Because I was absolutely not in any position to laugh at anyone.

Not in a dungeon, but back in that first mountain—forest, really—I’d made a catastrophic mistake.

I’d nearly become Gryon’s dinner.

It was a solid trauma now.

She fell silent.

Right—so they’d been preparing food too…

Meaning they probably didn’t have an adventurer guide advising them.

Guides mattered.

Even old military-explorer types couldn’t explore properly without local guides who also carried supplies.

“Y-yes… He eats just about anything, but he’s only seven, so a child-friendly menu would be best.”

Fair.

And there were no major allergies to worry about.

The Seventh Sense was incredible for knowing things like that.

“Meat is okay too?”

“Yes, no problem, but nothing too spicy.”

All right—so my secret weapon curry was out this time.

My roux and retort packs were all medium-hot, not for kids.

“Understood. I’ll choose something appropriate.”

All right, then.

For now, it had to be fried chicken.

Kids loved it.

I didn’t have hamburg steaks on hand.

Maybe I’d try making some next time.

Though honestly, asking someone else would produce something far better and more reliable.

I’d never made homemade hamburg steaks in Japan.

I kind of knew how, though.

And I could always look up a recipe online, so I could probably manage.

I used to grill those old “just squeeze it out of the pouch and fry” ones as bar snacks.

I’d also serve pot-au-feu and salad, and a rolled omelet.

Rolls—no, this was the moment for canned bread.

It was a Danish pastry bread that people said was really good.

Milk, orange juice, cured ham, pasta salad.

And I’d open a canned fruit too.

Cake for dessert was mandatory.

I also asked about the bathroom situation.

“What was His Highness doing here?”

“Inside the tent.”

Hmm. I couldn’t quite picture it.

“So, like… doing it while sitting down? And wiping afterward?”

“There’s a spell for that.”

“Please— teach me that spell—”

She demonstrated by casting it on herself.

Yes!

I acquired the butt-wiping spell through Observation, perfectly.

Apparently it was called “daily-life magic.”

She taught me the full set, and I learned it properly.

I copied a cottage and built a toilet frame inside it.

Then… hmm, what next.

Using image creation, I made a Western-style toilet and a child-friendly urinal, and I made the toilet a pit-latrine style.

Like the ones at North American campgrounds.

I’d seen one in Canada before, so it was easy enough to visualize.

I synthesized it inside my item box via image creation, and it came together fairly easily.

Funny how your butt remembers what you used every day.

I enchanted the toilet with the daily-life magic I’d just learned, so it would process waste.

I made one for the women too—and one for our group.

Now the area was packed with bungalows.

It was basically the bungalow section of a campsite.

Ah… it reminded me of that mountain campsite.

Would I ever return there someday?

In this place, the dungeon would eventually deal with waste, but it didn’t vanish immediately.

And the people here were all high-ranking folks who absolutely must not be subjected to smells.

The old man was probably important too—he’d talked about requisitioning people.

For the future, I also created toilets enchanted with daily-life magic that could be used outside dungeons.

Even though it was still early, I took care of His Highness’s meal.

He hadn’t eaten in quite a while, apparently, and he ate with enthusiasm.

The old man and the prince ate while the two attendants looked after him.

Ed and the others handled security, and I handled serving.

During that time, I retold the earlier battle story to His Highness, in a lively and entertaining way.

He listened, completely absorbed.

Finally came dessert—cake.

Erin watched it enviously.

After we put His Highness to bed, the attendants ate as well, and then I, Erin, and Ed ate too.

Dennis and Lois would eat later in rotation.

“That was a truly wonderful meal. His Highness was delighted. In particular, he seems quite taken with the cake.”

“Well, I am a merchant, after all. Still… that was quite Spartan, wasn’t it? Having His Highness level up in a dungeon with so few people, at that age.”

“No. Everyone else sacrificed themselves so His Highness could escape. That’s how we got into that small room. Out of thirty guards, only I survived…”

“Th-that’s…”

“In truth, ‘training’ was just a convenient story for outsiders. His Highness came to the dungeon for… certain reasons. But now… it no longer matters.”

So that was why they had no adventurer guide.

And that had cost lives.

“I won’t ask about the circumstances. If we heard it, it would likely be far too serious for us. We should be grateful His Highness survived. Besides, from here on, it’s the route we already took, so it shouldn’t be too dangerous. And we have a veteran C-rank adventurer guiding us.”

And so this middle-aged man left everything to others.

I had no sense of direction.

If I led the way, even the simplest route would become a true labyrinth.

Even here, thinking I was heading upward, I’d probably end up diving deeper and deeper.

Most people could tell up from down by feel, but with me, it was questionable.

I might choose a route with constant ups and downs and accidentally reach the deepest point.

In the U.S. when I drove, I once got lost for fifty miles until I saw a sign.

I’d simply been going the exact opposite direction.

In Canada on a motorcycle, I kept returning to the same junction, and the same hitchhiking backpacker kept greeting me with a bright smile and a raised thumb every time—tragic memories.

Naturally, I returned a peace sign each time with a smile.

Even without sharing a language, me riding back again and again and looking around made it painfully obvious I was lost.

How do you get lost on such a straightforward American freeway?!

Those grand “directionally challenged” episodes were, of course, all the author’s painfully real nonfiction.

“Thank you. We should take our leave for the night now.”

“Please get a good rest. We’ll be marching again tomorrow. The adventurers will stand watch.”

If she was guarding royalty, she was probably a noblewoman.

Pale-skinned and doll-like—an astonishing beauty.

Yet she also seemed well-trained, with broad shoulders and a sturdy build.

The next morning, I started preparing breakfast.

Toasted rolls, consommé soup, orange juice and milk, plus salad and ham-and-eggs.

I added grilled sausages too, and cups of yogurt.

And I’d made a carrier pack for His Highness, so I had Ed wear it.

My skill could make toilets and even stuff like this, huh.

Lois had the bigger build, but as a warrior he needed to be assigned to combat instead.

“Yo, lone wolf with a kid!”

“Stop that! Ah—my apologies, Your Highness!”

“Kekeke. You two get along well, don’t you?”

“Uh… yes, well.”

Heh—Ed was the kind of man who’d been ready to risk his life fighting an enemy he couldn’t beat, just for me.

Of course I’d accept that loyalty with a burning heart.

I led the line—basically a human weapon for clearing the way.

Against weak monsters, I was now completely unstoppable.

Second was Dennis the thief, for vigilance.

Then Ed, carrying His Highness on his back.

Behind him, the female guard stayed close to protect the prince.

Next came the old man and the maid, with Erin guarding them.

And the rear guard was Lois, the burly warrior.

A perfect formation.

“All right—let’s do our best and head for the surface!”

I set off with a carefree shout, like we were going mountain hiking for fun.

I launched a mountain of lighting pods.

The count had risen to five hundred.

They illuminated the path far ahead, shocking the first-timers.

Like highway lights, they brightened the road ahead brilliantly.

I layered barrier pods tightly—one layer around His Highness and another around the whole group.

Then I filled the area around the party with a thousand combat pods.

It was one-sided slaughter.

Every enemy blip on the radar map was eliminated by radar-linked firing.

Even ceiling slimes were blasted to pieces.

No aiming needed at all.

To avoid accidentally shooting a human we might encounter, I’d tuned the map to distinguish people from monsters.

No holding back.

Ed and the other adventurers were completely stunned.

The royal attendants gaped with their mouths open.

Even Japanese anime didn’t go this far, this consistently.

But reality was safety first.

The yellow helmet I made had a green cross on it.

My mind was already flying toward the royal vault.

Well—at least I hadn’t brought out my car yet, which was comparatively restrained.

That thing was hard to explain.

This was a slope-type dungeon, so I could drive through it, technically.

My car had been made by a local automaker back home, but it was an unusually designed model that stood out even among them.

And it was a blinding, flashy bright yellow.

In the first place, I was the only one who could drive it.

And no matter how you stuffed them in, you couldn’t fit this many people.

If I left Ed and the others behind, that would be different— but I couldn’t do that to the people who’d stayed behind ready to risk their lives for me.

After that, we advanced smoothly toward the surface, and adjusting for the women’s pace, we escaped the dungeon over three days.

The beginner spells I’d been firing nonstop through the pods had, across the board, climbed to the level cap of level 10.

My control of the combat pods improved greatly too, and by the time we returned to the surface, I could accurately split fire from many pods to hit enemies in front, behind, left, and right.