66

I carried Number 8—whose real name was Ashiru Gardel—back to my main base, but when she saw the remains of the research facility on the surface, her excitement skyrocketed.

“O-Oh? Ohhh? For real? Seriously? This has to be—without a doubt—an old Imperial structure, right? Whoa, if I take home whatever’s inside, could I get rich? Like, rich enough to never have to work again?”

In short, she was completely fired up with vulgar materialism.

Which only made it all the more unbearable to let her run wild in the underground.

First, I set her down on the surface and resolved to properly deal with the porn books and data hidden underground, otherwise things would get out of hand.

As she sat on my shoulder, slapping my head in her excitement, I pinched the chest of her clothes together with my fingers and exposed her violently abundant breasts to silence her.

“Why do you always try to mess with my boobs!?”

“Calm—method.”

She hastily covered her chest, read the words I wrote on the ground, and muttered “Guh…” before falling silent.

She must have realized she’d gotten too carried away.

For the record, on the way back I had deliberately pressed her breasts against me and jostled her enough to cause a slip, enjoying myself thoroughly.

Thanks to that, I had gotten used to the shock of their size, so now even being pressed against them didn’t send my imagination spiraling out of control.

Yes, what might look like pure lust-driven behavior was, in fact, training.

(Seriously, though, her boobs are ridiculously amazing. That size and still perfectly shaped—it’s practically cheating.)

Between her and Number 6, elven bodies had definitely crossed into dangerous territory of aesthetic beauty.

When there were plenty like them, even my model sister would pale in comparison—no wonder they ended up in so many doujinshi.

Despite calming down once, Ashiru slapped my head again, shouting, “Hurry inside already!”

Couldn’t she just get off me at this point?

Resigned, I carried her into the facility and put her down, then led her to the part I used as a kitchen.

Her expression screamed, “You eat here?”, but I ignored her and headed for the underground entrance—when I realized something important.

“Danger cleared. Wait.”

To write that down, I had to take her outside again.

Not being able to speak was seriously inconvenient.

I decided I needed to keep paper and pen on me, left Ashiru on the surface, and went underground.

There, I hurried to collect the porn books and data packages.

But I didn’t need to hide everything.

It wouldn’t be strange if some of it had been hidden by researchers who used to work here.

I stashed most of it in a hollow behind a collapsed wall in an unused room and blocked it with a heavy shelf she couldn’t move. Hidden, problem solved.

Since I couldn’t stash the TV, I disconnected the cables and left it in the storeroom.

I slipped a few porn books onto a bookshelf, disguising them as “books found during recovery.”

The varied genres made the cover story believable.

Definitely not because I wanted to see how a woman would react to porn.

Finally, I gathered the broken glass shards into one spot and bagged them. That would back up my excuse, leaving no reason for suspicion.

Having grown up hiding porn from my sister and mother, my skill was far beyond what some busty elf could see through.

With that, I carried the bag back to the surface, where Ashiru was nosing around curiously.

Showing her the bag, I let her know I had cleared away dangerous items, then gestured to ask if she wanted to go underground.

“Of course I do! Treasure, treasure!”

Knowing what was actually below, I could already predict her reaction, but if she was determined, I couldn’t exactly stop her.

(If I tried, she’d just force her way down anyway.)

I opened the elevator door, carried her on my shoulder, and jumped down.

She screamed all the way, but I ignored it and landed safely.

As her breasts spilled out, I tapped them with my finger before she adjusted her clothes with complaints.

The weight was very satisfying.

“Ugh… I want clothes that aren’t ruined.”

I considered fetching her some—but what came to mind were cosplay outfits.

Something like a bunny suit that could never contain her chest. Tempting, but impossible. I shook my head and opened the underground door.

“Ohhh… an Imperial underground facility still intact. I could really make some discoveries here.”

Ashiru grinned ear to ear, kicking her feet as she demanded,

“Put me down, already!”

I sighed, set her down, and silently watched as she ran off, casting a light spell to illuminate the facility.

(Well, she is an elf. I guess she can at least manage that.)

Her first stop was the room I used as a storeroom.

She poked around curiously, tilting her head, while I stretched out a hand behind her to look for paper and pen.

Realizing the room was just for storage, she lost interest and went to the next room.

“Come on, treasure, come out!”

She said cheerfully, rummaging through desks.

Unfortunately, I had already searched those rooms—nothing of note remained.

I kept an eye on her but started preparing bedding by pulling out part of my futon.

“Hoooh, hoooh, hoooh…”

She strutted around as if she knew what she was doing, but it was clear she had no clue.

Fascinated, she picked up and touched various things—but the facility still had a faint trickle of electricity.

If she touched something wrong and closed the gate, it would be a disaster, so I made sure to warn her.

“Hmm, I don’t know what this place is, but as long as I don’t touch anything dangerous-looking, I should be fine, right?”

Saying that, Ashiru ran deeper, into the parts I couldn’t enter.

For the record, what I had written was: “Don’t touch anything—you don’t know how this facility works.”

Since I had nothing else to do, I sat down and opened a book.

Once again, I chose Edible Wild Plants. After over a month without reviewing it, most of the contents had slipped from my mind.

Sure enough, something happened not long after.

“Kyaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!”

She must have run into one of the failed spider-man experiments.

Looking toward the source of the scream, I saw Ashiru burst out, tearful, her half-exposed breast bouncing wildly as she sprinted straight at me.

She threw herself into my lap, pressing her chest against me.

Not that she meant to—but with that size, it was inevitable.

“M-M-M-Monster! There’s a monster in there!”

“Corpse.”

I showed her the note I had prepared and straightened her clothes.

Of course, I made sure to grope her chest while tucking it back in.

“It’s dead, right? It really is dead, right?”

“Dangerous contact. Acid, poison.”

Finally, I showed her a note that said, “Do not remove.” Then I patted her head.

“What the hell was that? That’s not right. Upper half human, lower half spider—like two different species glued together!”

Well, for someone who knew nothing, it was only natural to be horrified.

“…Still, it could be worth money.”

Just when I thought I should be gentle, her materialism reared its head again.

“Come to think of it, this is a huge discovery, isn’t it? Location info, structure info—and what’s inside! Maybe there are records! If so, we could sell them for a fortune!”

Yep, I worried for nothing.

And no, I wasn’t about to let that happen.

When I told her as much, Ashiru’s face soured.

“Ehhh, why not?”

She pouted and grumbled, so I shoved a sheet of paper in front of her.

“Possible outcome: more test subjects.”

Then I pointed at her.

She pointed at herself, confused.

So I covered part of the words, leaving only “test subject,” and pointed again.

Once she got it, her expression fell flat.

“Uh… it’s fine, right? I mean, it’s not that dangerous… right?”

I ignored her worried question and went back to my book.

For a while she whined, “Say it’s fine,” hitting my leg, but once she realized I wouldn’t respond, she gave up.

Finally, I could get back to studying—or so I thought, until she opened her mouth again.

“Hey, can you actually read that?”

If I couldn’t, I wouldn’t be holding a book, now would I? I ignored her and kept reading Edible Wild Plants.

Yes, it had lots of photos, but there was still plenty of text.

Apparently irritated by me reading silently, she pushed in beside me and pointed to a sentence.

She must have wanted me to prove I understood it.

I wrote “Edible” on a slip of paper and showed her before returning to the book.

“Wow… You can read not just Elven, but Furon too? What the hell are you?”

I ignored her, but then froze.

Wait. What did she just say?