I Returned? (2)

“Excuse me… Are you okay?”

“…!!”

In the midst of confusion caused by a lingering headache and unorganized information, I instinctively lifted my head at the familiar voice and the scent I’d missed.

Sweat trickled down from my forehead into my eyes, so I quickly rubbed them and turned my gaze toward the direction of the sound. I froze without realizing it—the face was so familiar, so dearly missed, the one I’d longed to see again.

“Are you okay?”

“…Hyo-ju?”

Was it an illusion caused by the flood of information? Or did the familiar scent unconsciously make me think of her?

Or did I mistake the faint silhouette for her?

How could she appear right in front of me at this precise moment in the vastness of Korea? I smiled bitterly and rubbed my eyes once more. Just as I was about to bow to apologize for mistaking the woman in front of me who showed concern,

“Do I… know you?”

“…!!”

My heart sank. My breathing became labored, and my brain, which was already a tangled mess from the overflowing information, turned blank.

“Hyo-ju? Lee Hyo-ju?”

“Oh? Do you really know me? Who…?”

‘Damn it…!’

Fate always behaves like this. It casually throws unexpected situations at the most unpredictable times and then smirks at us humans.

What should I say in this situation? Should I ask why she killed me? Why did she say sorry back then?

Or should I say that I spent 31 years with her in a place called ‘The Battlefield of the Gods’? Should I suggest meeting there now?

What can I possibly say?!

“I’m sorry for sending you back to that painful time. If… if I ever meet you again, this time, I’ll make sure ‘I’ love you first…”

I’m not sure why those words came to my mind.

Suddenly, with the memory that flashed back, Hyo-ju’s last words and her tear-streaked face emerged in my mind, which had turned into a blank slate.

Without being able to say or express anything, something, whether it was sweat or tears, trickled down from my eye to my cheek.

Before entering the ‘Battlefield of the Gods,’ I was a truly naive and gullible person.

A true pushover—that was exactly what I was.

I thought that living kindly would bring blessings, and I often suffered losses by meddling in others’ affairs.

I naively believed that Liu Bei’s actions in the Romance of the Three Kingdoms were the epitome of a ruler, completely unaware of the hidden meanings and image-making behind them, and thought I should live kindly.

When Snow White was chased by her stepmother and victimized by the witch, instead of thinking she was frustrating or foolish, I thought, “That could happen to anyone.”

Even when friends dumped their tasks on me, I felt fortunate that it was something I could handle for them.

I believed my high sociability was the reason I had many friends around me, or rather, I thought of the trash who used my ‘pushover nature’ as friends.

I believed my high sociability attracted people.

Yes, I thought of myself as Liu Bei and was deluded.

When the hospital offered to cover all of Mina’s medical expenses for free, and I saw them drawing blood from Mina’s frail arm several times a day, I felt grateful, thinking, “The doctors are really trying their best for Mina.”

Oh! How pathetic I was!

Killing, or rather, taking life, was considered natural in the ‘Battlefield of the Gods,’ where I’d spent 30 years, but if even a hint of such thoughts remained, it must be a serious flaw.

So, the conclusion of this long story is that it’s not because ‘Hyo-ju,’ whom I once loved, appeared before me now, reigniting feelings or filling my heart with emotion like in a drama. Absolutely not!

Love for the woman who pierced my heart just moments ago without explanation? Nonsense!

The reason I’m at a loss for words, just opening and closing my mouth, is because it’s frustrating. It’s like catching the enemy of your parents only to find they’re suffering from dementia.

I want to ask why she killed me and why I traveled back in time to her world, but I’d only be labeled crazy.

Actually, that would be a relief.

Knowing Lee Hyo-ju’s personality, she might just put a hole in my head with those high heels of hers.

“No, I made a mistake. Thank you.”

I offered a polite farewell and pretended to be unaffected as I left the hospital lobby.

‘Lee Hyo-ju. What on earth are you?!’

I somehow found my way home. It’s a relief that I remembered the door code from my revived memories.

I sat on the sofa, dazed, until I finally came to my senses and sat up straight.

“Always think three times, you idiot! From your perspective, from the enemy’s perspective…”

“And from the damn gods’ perspective…”

At the moment when resentment and irritation toward Lee Hyo-ju surged, ironically, her advice to me, who always charged foolishly at enemies, came to mind.

“Annoying as it is, the advice of the Military Star is always right.”

Like a magician’s words that spoken words hold power, admitting it to myself made my heated frustration cool down, and I felt the need to organize my current situation, so I reviewed my situation one by one.

First, from my perspective, what does it mean that I’ve returned by rewinding time? Is it a good thing? Is it fortunate?

“It’s a damn mess.”

Indeed.

I spent 31 years in the quagmire called ‘Battlefield of the Gods.’ A whole 31 years. I entered in my early twenties and became someone in their fifties.

The stress and effort scattered without any reward. It’s a hundred times more disheartening than losing a save file after staying up for months.

I even feel resentful toward the human language system that can only describe this feeling with a single curse.

Second, from the enemy’s perspective, what does my time reversal mean? Is it a good thing?

“Who cares?”

Honestly, the concept of ‘enemy’ was something that only existed within the ‘Battlefield of the Gods,’ and it means nothing to me outside of it.

Oh! One guy, no, three bastards. There were those I wanted to kill. But even that is now pointless and meaningless.

Third, from the damn gods’ perspective?

God.

The most surprising thing upon entering the ‘Battlefield of the Gods’ after making a contract was the number of gods.

There was an absurd number. A hundred thousand! I wanted to dissect the mind of the creator god who made these gods and the divine realm.

“Is he some kind of Yulgok Yi I¹? Is this the ‘Theory of Raising a Hundred Thousand Gods’?”

Anyway, from the gods’ perspective, my return to the past, as if by coincidence, six days before making a contract, means nothing…

“…No way. Ha! What? No way… No way!! Then she’s really a bastard, no, a damn bitch!!”

A foreboding feeling wrapped around my body. As I brushed away the goosebumps on my arms, my usually sluggish brain started working furiously.

Unable to organize my thoughts easily, I grabbed a marker rolling around the living room table, and rushed toward the large glass window.

Scribble, scribble, scribble.

There was no order. There was no consistency.

I just wrote down whatever came to mind.

A person’s subconscious sometimes offers unknown prophecies or predictions. This is my personal method that I’ve mainly used since the battlefield when my head gets hot with a sense of crisis and anger.

A string of meaningless words. Coincidentally, the marker I grabbed was red.

The red scribbles scrawled across the glass, reflected in the crimson sunset beyond, felt eerily like the familiar bloodstains I experienced so often on the battlefield.

After finishing the string of meaningless words, I sat on the sofa and stared blankly at the words I’d written.

The fact that I returned to this place, not the Earth I used to live on.

The fact that I returned just six days before entering the Battlefield of the Gods.

The fact that my sibling here is suffering from an unknown illness.

And even the incomprehensible words of Lee Hyo-ju, who killed me.

“Dammit!!”

No matter how much I deny it, it was like being told to crawl back into that mire, that swamp, on my own.

Even as the seventh of the Seven Stars, ‘Strange Star,’ I had no power to resist the gods’ trickery, and as an ordinary person now, there’s no way to avoid it.

Of course, there were things I wanted to kill and a desire for revenge.

But it had been a whopping 31 years.

Enduring those long years in a harsh and brutal place was all there was. Just to avoid dying, to survive.

In the later years, all that was left was bitterness, and I was called crazy, but the more I think back, all that comes out are sighs.

“Do that again…?”

Can it be avoided, though?

No, absolutely not. If my sibling on the previous Earth is alright, I might be able to avoid it by hardening my resolve, but there’s no way I could do that.

“Sigh… Even if I have to step into the mess, I’ll do it, damn it.”

Six days left.

The playground of the gods. The gladiatorial arena of the gods’ slaves. Before entering the so-called ‘Battlefield of the Gods,’ there was so much to prepare.