To The Battlefield (6)

I waited until evening.

I leaned back against the sofa and stared at my book while drinking the cold black tea Mary poured beside me. But the pages did not turn, and only my thoughts circled endlessly through my mind.

The past few months had felt like a dream. A life without hunger or cold. A life where I woke whenever I wished, spent the day with people I liked, and fell asleep again in a comfortable bed.

A life that might have been natural to someone else had been no different from paradise to me. I envied those who had lived this way their entire lives so much it hurt.

But now that I knew the truth, I could no longer continue like this. My friend had been injured, and others might still be getting hurt. It was obvious that I could not remain happy if I simply stayed here.

The truth was often poison. Poison that shattered both my hope that I might never have to fight again and even my illusions about Victor.

I slipped a bookmark between the pages and closed <The Adventures of Doldopin>, which was filled with dreamlike tales of adventure.

It was time to end my dream as well.

“You deceived me again.”

The words came out colder than I had expected.

Victor, who had been entering the bedroom, raised his head. His weary eyes silently demanded an explanation.

I spoke quietly.

“I heard that the situation is more serious than expected and that you might personally join the campaign.”

“……Who told you that?”

“That is not the issue.”

I strode toward him. Then I confessed,

“Victor, you no longer wake during the night.”

Victor’s eyes widened.

“No, you do wake, but you do not draw your weapon and simply fall asleep again. It means your illness is almost cured. If you continue sleeping in the castle bedroom, you will gradually improve even more.”

“…….”

“But if you return to the battlefield and fight monsters again, your illness may worsen. So you must remain here.”

“Marion.”

“I will go in your place.”

The bedroom sank into silence as though a bomb had fallen.

Victor’s expression became terribly subdued, unlike that of someone who had just learned that an illness he had suffered from for years was improving. He spoke gloomily.

“I see. I wondered why you volunteered for the subjugation force without hesitation. My illness has been cured.”

He took one step toward me and grasped a lock of my hair. As though worshipping it, he pressed his lips to the ends of the white strands.

“Thank you, Marion. Without you, I would not even be alive. You are nothing less than a miracle to me.”

“…….”

“That is why I cannot send you somewhere dangerous.”

I immediately asked in return,

“Then are you telling me to simply watch while the people of this territory are injured? Even though I have the power to help?”

“It is not something you need concern yourself with, Marion. You are the Grand Duchess. There is no need for you to go onto the battlefield─.”

“I am a knight before I am the Grand Duchess, Victor. My fate lies on the battlefield.”

Victor’s face twisted. It was as though something in my words had pierced his heart.

As though he could not breathe, he closed his mouth and lowered his head. His shoulders, which had always seemed so firm, trembled precariously. After a long silence, he forced out the words.

“I would rather delay the subjugation than send you.”

“How can you say that? Someone may die if we do not act quickly. Is it not a knight’s duty to protect the weak?”

“All I want is to protect you.”

Victor spat out the words. His seething voice continued.

“I do not care what happens to anyone else.”

How could he say that?

I bit my lip hard.

Ordinarily, such a confession would have made my heart tremble, but I did not want to believe it. How could a knight and lord say such a thing? Even if those words were sincere, he was not allowed to feel that way. A knight had to be willing to cast aside even his own life for the land and its people.

And I had believed he was the greatest knight on the continent.

The disappointment that had tormented me every day over the past several days filled my chest once more. I glared at him coldly.

“Are you going to lock me away? Like when you tried to execute your vassals?”

Victor did not answer.

Suddenly, I remembered him saying that he wanted to make me like Flamberge, locked inside a tower. I also remembered the people who kept asking whether I wanted to go outside.

But locking me away was impossible. Even if no one else knew it, the two of us did.

“You cannot do that, can you? You would have to remain beside me all day.”

No method would have any meaning.

It would be useless to lock the doors and station knights outside. Everything here was far too weak. So weak that they could not even stand against a swordswoman like me. Only Victor could stop me, whether with his sword or his words.

After a long silence, Victor spoke with a pained expression.

“……You do not know how much I wish I could.”

“…….”

“I know that you remained beside me purely out of your own mercy. I knew that if you learned the outside world was dangerous, you would rush out even if it meant being hurt. That was why I hoped you would never find out.”

“Victor.”

Victor smiled. Unlike his usual smiles, it was horribly distorted.

His hand reached toward my cheek, then flinched and drew back. The Grand Duke whispered painfully.

“I love that part of you, and yet I hate it.”

“…….”

“But how could I refuse you?”

Victor turned his back.

“Go. I will organize a unit for you.”

His back beneath the black robe suddenly looked so small.

It was him exactly as he was, revealed in the place where the ideal I had dreamed of had shattered. Cruel and selfish. A side of him I could never bring myself to like.

But even so, I still…….

“……I will finish as quickly as possible and return.”

Suppressing the ache in my heart, I turned my head away.

Over the next few days, I finished everything I had been doing.

I informed the maids and Katarina that I would be departing, and I retrieved armor that fit me and a backpack from the castle storeroom. I entrusted the patients who still remained to Dideric. Dideric silently bowed his head and followed my request.

I could not bring myself to pack the expensive book, so instead I placed the chimera tooth I had bought before, a handkerchief, a large jar of ointment, and leather gloves into my bag.

And so, the day of departure dawned.

The departure ceremony was held early in the morning. Since only knights, rather than soldiers, were setting out so that we could move quickly, strictly speaking, it was not a proper departure ceremony. Still, because it was a large-scale subjugation involving the entire knight order, it was not a quiet affair either.

Around seventy knights stood in formation and conversed among themselves. Beside me among their ranks stood Mary, wearing an eager expression and carrying a backpack. I sighed inwardly.

Mary had become involved in this solely because of her own stubbornness. When she heard that I would participate in the monster subjugation, she went deathly pale and insisted that she come as well. I told her several times that the area was dangerous and that I was going not as the Grand Duchess but as an ordinary knight, but Mary remained resolute.

‘I know medicinal herbs and ointments well, and I can perform simple surgery too! I am certain I will be useful to you, my lady.’

‘Mary, the situation outside is more serious than you think. I may not be able to protect you.’

‘I-I know some self-defense too! The knights taught me. I will protect myself, all right? Please. I want to help you, my lady.’

The girl pleaded earnestly. Seeing the pure affection and loyalty in her eyes made it difficult to refuse her outright. While I hesitated, Mary quickly began packing her luggage.

And before I knew it, today had arrived.

“……Forgive me, but what exactly is Miss Mary doing here?”

Raul, who stood beside me, asked with a peculiar expression. Mary answered primly.

“I am Her Highness’s maid, so I will follow my lady wherever she goes.”

“……My lady, what in the world are you planning…….”

“It…… should be all right. She can tend to the wounded in the rear. Apothecaries and healers are always in short supply, after all. So…….”

Another knight stepped forward in place of me as I mumbled excuses.

“How rude, Raul. You should praise the young lady’s loyalty instead.”

“Sir Leonard!”

The stern blond knight, Leonard of Odo, gave me a brief bow. Even though he wore dull leather armor and a cloth backpack, his entire body was held in perfect form.

It was an admirable attitude, but would it not be exhausting to live like that all the time?

Raul became angry beside him.

“What kind of lunatic nonsense is that? What will you do if this frail young lady gets pecked by a griffin?”

“Is it not our role to prevent that? She is merely one more person among the many we must protect.”

“Oh, how impressive.”

Raul grumbled loudly. Then he whispered toward me loudly enough for everyone to hear.

“My lady, why did His Highness make someone like him the acting commander? I would honestly prefer Kaltz.”

“Ah…….”

I pressed my lips together and lowered my head.

The truth was, I had not spoken to Victor even once over the past several days. We had been avoiding each other for quite some time, so others might not have noticed anything unusual, but it was the first time we had not exchanged even a single word.

I was disappointed in the side of him I had never known, confused, and somehow heartbroken. I could not tell what he was thinking. Whenever he saw me, he avoided my gaze with a pained expression.

Noticing my dark expression, Mary quickly interjected.

“Sir Kaltz is not participating in the subjugation force, is he? Why not?”

“Kaltz always remained at headquarters even during the war. It is not strange that he is not accompanying us.”

“Though he himself seems quite unhappy about it.”

Leonard added the comment and tipped his chin. On the terrace he indicated stood Kaltz with a sulky expression. He seemed thoroughly displeased at being left behind to handle work alone with Victor.

At that moment, a long shadow stepped forward.