Beatdown Rock-Paper-Scissors Game

Payper had taken a foot-slap from me.

He had gone skidding headfirst across the ground of the waterwheel hut.

Lifting his face like a ballplayer whose dream had been shattered, clutching his cheek,

“Pay… Pay!? T-to strike this Pay not once, but twice…! And with the sole of your foot, no less…!”

The redness that had been fading on Payper’s cheek came back, and on top of that it was coated with dirt.

He glared up at me resentfully for a while, but before long he got to his feet and dragged Kakerukun outside the hut.

I sharpened my Five Senses and listened in.

“Pay! Principal! This is not what we agreed on! Didn’t you say that with the Gambler skill, you could tell what hand the other person would throw in rock-paper-scissors!?”

“Ah… Huhhh~? That’s weeeird~? I’m sure I should have been able to see that trash’s hand~?”

“Get it together! Pay won’t be satisfied unless I beat him black and blue no matter what! And if I beat him black and blue, he won’t be able to keep milling, and then we can win the ‘Leopin Wheat Flour Game’ too!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know! Next time I’ll do it right! Just leave it to me! Right! Right!”

After finishing their emergency strategy meeting, the two came back and shamelessly tried to continue the rock-paper-scissors game.

Without stopping my straw weaving, I said to Payper,

“Isn’t that enough already? You’re just not lucky today. Before your losses pile up any further, wouldn’t it be better to give up and go home?”

“Pay! As if I’d do that! If I win, then the High-Quality wheat flour will…! Ah, no! I’ll be able to prevent trash-like wheat flour from spreading through the residential district!”

“Trying to tack on a righteous-sounding reason now of all times…”

“Anyway, we’re continuing! This rock-paper-scissors match will go on as many times as it takes until the ‘Leopin Wheat Flour Game’ is decided! I’ll beat you to a pulp and make your face one nobody can stand to look at ever again! Got it!? Here we go! Rock, paper, scissors…!”

After that, dry smacks, screams, and shrieks echoed endlessly through the inside of the waterwheel hut.

Sspaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanーーーーーーーーーーーーーー!!

“My paaaaaaaperーーーーーーーーーーーーーー!?!? W-why!? Why did I lose again!? Damn it, one more time!”

Sspaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanーーーーーーーーーーーーーー!!

“My paper scrapsーーーーーーーーーーーーーー!?!? I’m throwing exactly the hand you told me to!? Gwaaaah! One more time! One more time!”

Sspaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanーーーーーーーーーーーーーー!!

That sort of thing repeated for about an hour.

My foot-slaps struck Payper’s right cheek and left cheek alternately.

Toward the end, his cheeks had swollen so badly they puffed out, and he could hardly keep his eyes open.

Tears spilled from his thread-like eyes, wetting his bright red balloon-like cheeks.

“Pa… paaah… paaaaaahhh~~~! Why, why is this happeninggg…! Halfway through I was doing it with my own skill too…! The odds should’ve been one in three…! Why, why why!? Why can’t I winnnnnn~~~~!? Uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!”

At last, Payper broke down sobbing and began pounding the ground over and over with his fists.

Right about then, Maachan arrived with the Merchant Union students, her classmates, in tow.

Without even noticing that they had come, Payper squeezed out his tears.

“Ugh…! Ggh…! Hic…! Sniff…! Pay won’t give upppp…! One more time, one more timeee…! Rock, paper, scissors!”

“Hey, hey, just stop already. You’ve got no chance of winning.”

The Merchant Union students witnessed the exchange between me and Payper.

Every last one of them was trembling in fear.

“W-what… is this…? What in the world is happening…?”

“I heard from Maachan that Leopin-kun made some kind of device that mills automatically, but…”

“He’s weaving while threshing?”

“And not just that, he’s playing rock-paper-scissors with his feet!?”

“And from the look of it, he hasn’t lost even once…”

“How many things is he doing at the same time!?”

“More importantly, what kind of situation even leads to someone being made to thresh, weave, and play rock-paper-scissors all at once…!?”

“L-look! His rock-paper-scissors opponent!”

“Whoa!? Could that possibly be Lord Payper!? Why does his face look that awful!?”

“T-this is bad! Lord Payper, a senior merchant, is kneeling before Leopin-kun!?”

“It should be the other way around, right!? How did a jobless Leopin-kun end up making Lord Payper, a senior merchant, kneel!?”

And then something happened that shook them even further.

“Uwaaaaan! This time for sure, this time I’ll wiiiin…! Rock, paper, scissors…!”

Sspaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanーーーーーーーーーーーーーー!!

“I don’t want this anymoreeeeeーーーーーーーーーーーーーー!?!?”

“A s-s-slaaaaaapーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー!?!?”

A jobless boy was slapping a senior merchant.

To them, as lower merchants, it looked like an act tantamount to blasphemy against a god.

But the god they revered was no longer there.

That god had his face ruined with tears and snot, wailing as he rolled about on the ground.

There was not the slightest trace left of the supreme self-confidence and arrogance so many people knew him for.

Inside the waterwheel hut, the senior merchant Payper rolled around on the ground, crying and screaming like a spoiled child.

And paying him no mind, the jobless Leopin kept weaving like a hard-of-hearing grandmother.

To an outside observer, it was an extraordinarily bizarre sight.

The Class 1-07 Merchant Union students who were present could only stand there in confusion.

“E-everyone, don’t just stand there spacing out. Flour bags are piling up in front of Leopin-kun, so let’s load them onto the cart.”

“Eh!? W-wait, Maachan! How can you stay so calm in a situation this incomprehensible!?”

“Ah… yeah. Honestly, I’m shocked too. When I came back after going to call everyone, I thought it was a go… bad dream that Leopin-kun was beating Lord Payper to a pulp.”

Maachan’s voice was trembling faintly, but she was calmer than anyone else in the Merchant Union there.

“But I’m used to it already. Everything Leopin-kun does is outrageous, one by one. If you’re going to get involved with Leopin-kun, then if you get surprised by something at this level, no number of shocks would ever be enough.”

“A-at this level…!? Making a senior merchant cry by beating him to a pulp is at this level…!?”

“This isn’t a problem that can be dismissed as at this level, is it!? There are senior merchants even nobles can’t afford to offend, you know!?”

“After doing this to Lord Payper, there’s no way he’ll get away with it…!”

“Yeah, normally that would be true, but Leopin-kun isn’t normal. Leopin-kun treats me, a lower merchant, and Lord Payper, a senior merchant, in exactly the same way. That’s what’s normal for Leopin-kun.”

As Maachan said that, a strong light came into her eyes.

“Anyway, I decided to trust Leopin-kun and do business with him! Because if this keeps up, we of the Merchant Union will be turned into underlings of the Grand Merchants’ Union, won’t we!? I came to this academy because I wanted to become a merchant! And Leopin-kun is supporting that dream! So I’m not going to follow Lord Payper… I’m going to follow Leopin-kun!”

Having said it outright, Maachan immediately started moving.

She lightly hopped over the collapsed, sobbing Payper and busily stacked bags of flour onto the cart.

That sight moved even the companions who had been cowed by authority.

“R-right… that’s right… We came to this academy because we wanted to become merchants…!”

“Not to be bossed around at someone’s beck and call by senior merchants! Everyone, let’s do this! Let’s distribute Leopin-kun’s wheat flour in the residential district!”

“Oooh!!”

“W-wait! Before you carry it out, play a game with me…!”

Kakerukun tried to stop them, but a hand was gently placed on his shoulder.

It was the vice principal, with frustration written on his face.

“Principal… Today, already (..), you can’t play games anymore, desura.”

“Guh… r-right, that’s true…!”

But Kakerukun did not give up.

“Everyone in Class 1-07, wait just a moment! Would you hand over that wheat flour to me? Could you? Right!? If you do, I’ll raise Class 1-07 by one rank! Right! Right!”

At that one remark, the Class 1-07 students, who had been working without even glancing aside, stopped moving.

After looking at the grinning principal, they shifted their gaze to Maachan, their class leader.

And as for Maachan, she was looking at a certain person.

That was… young Leopin, who already seemed as though he were outside the whole affair.

With a hum, the boy moved his hands and feet at the same time, weaving two sheets of strocloth at once.

Even though the wheat flour might be snatched away, the boy did not so much as try to join the negotiation, nor did he even turn his eyes toward it.

He simply stayed silent and earnestly kept weaving straw.

Just that side profile alone made Maachan feel as though her heart had been filled.

The girl looked straight at the principal and said clearly,

“Principal, that won’t be possible. Because I promised Leopin-kun. That this wheat flour would be distributed in the residential district at a fair price.”

“Eeeh, are you really sure that’s okayyy? This is a rare chance to rank up by one level, you know? And surely even lower merchants like you can tell which would be more dangerous to offend, me or Leopin-kun, right? So breaking a promise like that should be totally fine, right? Right, right!?”

“Leopin-kun also said this. Please don’t use it to curry favor with the principal. Leopin-kun may have even predicted that something like this would happen.”

“Gnn…!”

Silenced completely by her words, Kakerukun glared at Leopin.

But Leopin, as usual, kept weaving straw as if nothing concerned him at all.

Maachan said briskly,

“So for that reason, this wheat flour will be distributed responsibly by us of the Merchant Union, exactly as the producer Leopin-kun wishes! If anyone tries to interfere, we’ll inform the principal, so when that happens, please take care of it for us! Well then, excuse us!”

The cart piled high with bags of wheat flour was carried out by the hands of many students.

Kakerukun and the vice principal could do nothing but watch that sight with longing.