From 4,000 Kilometers Away

My vision was filled with Onesuko’s moist eyes.

They were so close I felt like I could count each damp eyelash.

Surrounded by a sweet, floral scent, I thought to myself.

Why did girls smell this good…?

And at last, even our breaths began to mingle.

“…L-Leopin-kun… th…ank… you…”

It sounded like a voice transferring a soul through the mouth.

Then silence. After a beat,

“N-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-nーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーn!?!?”

A shriek like a cat being chased by a savage dog rained down from the sky.

Reflexively, I shoved Onesuko’s body away.

“Kyann!?” Onesuko tumbled to the side.

Immediately after, as if switching places—

THUDDDDDーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー!!

A girl in a black hood dropped onto my stomach with a hard plop.

She was small and light, but taking a full-force hip attack to the gut was still lethal.

I squeezed out a “Guhfuu!?” and folded over like a bent ruler.

“Sh… Shinobuko-san!?”

Shinobuko was trembling on top of me, rattling like a clattering doll.

“N-n… nin-nin… A-a black leopard was up in the tree, de gozaru…!”

“Ah, that was probably Tom-kun. He’s Leopin-kun’s pet, so it’s fine.”

Onesuko spoke soothingly as she returned to my side.

Shinobuko sprang off me and latched onto Onesuko in a flash, like a flying squirrel leaping from tree to tree.

Even getting hugged out of nowhere didn’t surprise Onesuko. “Oh, you must’ve been really scared. There, there,” she said, patting Shinobuko’s head.

Then she said to me like it was an everyday thing.

“When Shinobuko-san has a scare, she clings to me like this. On nights when we tell ghost stories, she stays like this until morning.”

Still clinging to Onesuko, Shinobuko shook her head side to side like a koala with sleepy, sullen eyes.

“Nin, that is not true, de gozaru. It only looked as though I clung to you, de gozaru, but that was an optical illusion, de gozaru. In truth it was the opposite—Onesuko carried me, de gozaru. This was the ninja art, ‘Technique of the Clinging Old Man.’ Nin-nin.”

“Yeah, yeah, I got it.”

Treating her like a child, Onesuko stood up.

She looked down at me lying there with her usual sharp, upturned eyes and spoke.

“I suppose it’s time to go back to Monaka-sama. I’ll at least say thank you. I thought you were a useless nag, but from now on I’ll think of you as an ordinary horse.”

“Nin-nin, so that was why you were riding him earlier, de gozaru?”

“T-That’s not what that was! That was just an accident! Shinobuko-san, if you say something that indecent, the ‘Indecent Ghost’ will come at night, you know!?”

“Nin!?”

Like a child scared of thunder, Shinobuko quickly buried her face into Onesuko’s chest.

While patting the back of her head, Onesuko deftly pulled out a booklet of Slave Tickets.

She tore one out, cheeks faintly flushed with awkwardness, and thrust it toward me.

“Take it. Otherwise I won’t feel right. But don’t get the wrong idea! This is nothing more than a small token of thanks! Alright, I’m leaving now!”

Onesuko walked off without allowing any argument.

Still being carried, Shinobuko said,

“The next time we meet, it will be a fight to the death, de gozaru.”

She said it like a baby koala borrowing the authority of its mother.

I lowered my gaze to the ticket I’d been handed, and the face value made me flinch.

And I didn’t know.

That this “small token of thanks” was already causing a ridiculous incident far away, somewhere I’d never even imagined…

At that time, Principal Nekodran was not at the Royal Pioneer Academy.

He was in the royal capital, a land more than 4,000 kilometers away from the academy.

On a stage set up in a royal castle conference hall, he stood there dressed up even more than usual.

Above the stage hung a banner that read:

“Leak Eight Kingdom Royal Pioneer Academy Educational Outcomes Presentation”

In front of the stage, not only this kingdom’s journalists but even reporters from neighboring countries had packed in.

Holding a magical amplification device, the principal was being blasted by flashes from magical true-photo devices.

Clearing his throat, he began with a smile.

“Uohh-hm! It has been a while since I visited the royal capital, and it smelled wonderfully of civilization!

However, my Royal Pioneer Academy will soon reach this level of civilization as well!”

At the voice echoing through the hall, cheers of “Ooh!?” erupted.

“Not even one month since opening, and you’re already on track to introduce magical devices!”

“Principal Nekodran truly is the promising hope of his clan, as they say!”

“Could it be that the magical device behind you was developed at the academy!?”

“No, this is a ‘Magic Board’ borrowed from this kingdom’s arcane research institute!”

“That board says ‘Asset Rankings’!

Could it be that this is the newly introduced system that ranks the students’ assets!?”

When the principal nodded with a “Mm!” the reporters cheered again.

Attention gathered on the number one spot on the Asset Rankings.

“Incredible! First place has assets far beyond 40 million Ender!? To earn that much in less than a month since opening…!”

“Class 1-19—that’s the class led by Kotone-sama of the Miko, isn’t it!?”

“Yeah! Even at the most elite academies, earning one million is the limit…! As expected of a class filled with outstanding young lords and ladies!”

“By the way, Principal! Why is everything below second place on that ranking board covered with cloth!?”

“Ah, that is because information about the Royal Pioneer Academy is still within a sponsor-only period. The breakdown of this ranking board greatly affects this kingdom’s market prices and the standing of families and guardians. If we disclose it carelessly, we would cause great inconvenience to many people. But it would be a shame to disclose nothing at all, so we have made an exception and revealed only first place.”

“I see…”

The reporters said, nodding along as they accepted it.

But needless to say, that was nothing but a pretense.

Second place, directly beneath first—hidden under cloth—was something that absolutely could not be shown.

The principal smirked.

‘—Somehow, I managed to smooth it over.’

If things continued like this, the existence of that trash would not leak to the outside.

It really was the right call not to bring the vice principal along.

That man had been strange lately.

Whenever anything happened, he would immediately have an episode, scream, and start rampaging.

If I didn’t discard him soon, it would endanger me.

I had been running around in a frenzy preparing for this presentation, but…

Once this was over, I would hurry and find a new vice principal.

Then the organization would be rock-solid, and I would become a legendary principal…!

This presentation would achieve a grand success worthy of that legend’s opening curtain.

No matter how much of a useless trash that boy was, from 4,000 kilometers away he could not interfere.

Only a god could do such a thing…!

Trash belonged buried in the trash heap…!

Ihihihih…!

He was still underestimating him.

Even though the boy he never stopped calling trash was not just a boy at all.

If the boy truly wanted to, it would be easy for him to suddenly pop his face into this very place at any time…!

“Then today’s presentation will end around here…. Next, we will move to a press conference.”

The moment the principal tried to step down from the stage with his closing words, the ranking board behind him suddenly began to move.

“Wha…!?”

The principal rushed back onto the stage in a panic.

Surely not—but just in case, he tried to leap in and cover the entire ranking board with cloth.

At that instant—

That bastard popped his face out…!

…With a loud CLUNK as the rankings updated, the principal let out a shriek like a thief cat cornered at a fish shop.

“N-n… nigyaaaaaaaーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーーー!?!?”