If You Don’t Throw Everything Away, You Can’t Beat Him

The clock tower on the grounds of the Royal Pioneer Academy rang its bell to signal the end of the morning classes.

Around that time, Nekodran and Yesman were in the academy courtyard.

At the center of the courtyard stood statues modeled after this academy’s first principal and vice principal—in other words, statues of the two of them.

Those statues doubled as a fountain, and the two wore beaming smiles as water sprayed from their mouths.

Around the fountain were special benches, with a sign that read: “No Sitting Except for the Highest-Rank Classes!”

It was considered one of several relaxation spots reserved for the chosen within this academy.

Nekodran and Yesman stared up at the statues with thoroughly haggard faces.

“Haah… At the start of next month, these statues will surely be dismantled, indeed…”

“And the moment the statues disappear… we will be gone from this school as well, indeed…”

“The area around our statues used to be the resting place of golden chicks born from golden eggs, indeed… When it was lunch break, it was always overflowing with the smiles of those golden chicks, indeed…”

“That’s right, indeed… As the first vice principal, I should at least ask if my statue alone can be left standing, indeed… As my final parting gift to the students, indeed…”

Just then, students passed behind them, and whispered voices drifted over.

“Hey, someone’s sitting on that cursed bench!”

“Ugh—there’s a rumor that if you sit there, stupidity rubs off on you!”

“And you can’t stop getting demoted, right!? Like that bald guy and the ‘indeed’ guy!”

“Wait, the one sitting there… isn’t that actually them!?”

“Whoa, it is! Let’s get out of here! If the real ones are there too, the curse is definitely doubled!”

“Gross! I can smell losers from here! No wonder there isn’t a single person anywhere near the bench—or even around it!”

Footsteps fled as the students ran off like they were escaping.

Tears slipped down the two men’s cheeks.

“Ugh… ugh… Why… why did it come to this, indeed… Just a few days ago, all the students respected me more than their own father, indeed…”

“Seriously, indeed… At this rate, even I will get lumped together with that old man’s aging stench, and I’ll become part of the academy’s dark history, indeed…”

“But there’s nothing we can do anymore, indeed… Ten more days until the new principal arrives…”

“Getting our positions back before then is as impossible as being told to make this bald head grow a full head of hair, indeed…!”

““Ugh… WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!””

They no longer cared who was watching—Nekodran and Yesman clung to each other and bawled loudly.

Then, once again, footsteps approached from behind.

“Giving up is still too early.”

They turned toward the voice and ended up speaking in unison.

““Weiss-kun!?””

“I have an idea. A secret plan—one that can return the two of you to your former positions.”

““W-What!?””

They immediately bit.

“I-Is that true, indeed!? We have less than two weeks before we’re thrown out of the academy, indeed!?”

“Yes. For me, a Sage, there is no such thing as impossible. However, you two will need to pay a fitting sacrifice.”

“If I can stay at this academy and keep being vice principal, I’ll do anything, indeed!”

“My feelings go even beyond that, indeed! I’ll wager my very life, indeed!”

“Good. Then after the Board of Education’s emissary returns, seal the ‘Teleportation Magic Circle.’”

“W-What!? If we do that, this academy will become a landlocked island, indeed!”

“Exactly. If what we’re about to do is noticed by the outside, interference may occur. But if the ‘Teleportation Magic Circle’ cannot be used, the outside won’t be able to lay a hand on us for a full week. And to confine the students inside, issue an ‘Emergency Declaration’ and ban leaving the residential district.”

“An ‘Emergency Declaration’ even though there’s no war or plague, indeed!?”

“No. This is war for us, and the enemy is as malicious as a plague. If we don’t go that far, we cannot erase him completely.”

Weiss’s words were so dangerously extreme that the duo again spoke in unison.

““E-Erase!?””

“Going that far, what exactly are you planning to erase, indeed!?”

“Ah!? D-Don’t tell me…!”

“Yes—Leopin…! Haven’t you two noticed already? The reason nothing you do works out isn’t your fault. It’s all because of that trash…! That plague-like thing has been dragging you down…!”

People listened more readily to sweet, gentle lies than to bitter truths.

That was human nature, and the people here had been raised exactly that way.

It was obvious from how absurd rumors about Leopin had spread as though they were truth.

And it wasn’t only emotionally immature students—adults were no different.

The former principal and vice principal looked as if they had attained enlightenment in a heretical cult, their pupils blown wide and unmoving.

“So that’s it—so that’s what it was, indeed! The reason my life, which had been going so smoothly, suddenly went wrong was because of that trash, indeed!”

“Yes! That has to be it, indeed! If you think that way, everything finally makes sense, indeed!”

“Then I will use every last shred of the authority I still have and issue the ‘Emergency Declaration,’ indeed!”

“Yes! Then I will handle sealing the ‘Teleportation Magic Circle,’ indeed!”

As if he were casually rolling their hearts around in his palm, Weiss lifted his hand and swayed it.

Behind the square lenses, his eyes gleamed with an especially eerie, wicked flash.

“That’s not all. To eradicate a plague, we need even more power. The power called ‘money.’ You’ve been driven from your posts, so you can’t freely use the academy funds anymore, can you?”

“Then there’s no problem, indeed! We’ve hidden the Slave Tickets we collected from the students, indeed! If we cash them in, it’ll become a fortune, indeed! And if that’s still not enough, I’ll even empty my savings, indeed!”

“Yes! If it’s come to this, I’ll even pour in the backdoor-admission fund I saved up for my boy, indeed!”

“No. That still won’t be enough. When you were appointed principal and vice principal, you received preferential treatment from the kingdom and established a mansion in the Royal Capital, didn’t you? Sell it, and create even more war funds…!”

““E-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEH!?!!?””