The Crown Princess's Man (19)

Kaiston grabbed her wrist and pressed it down, then kissed her deeply and fully.

“Mmm…”

Because her stomach was still full of sweet desserts, he rummaged through her mouth, tasting the lingering sweetness and stealing saliva sweeter than honey.

Under his intense kiss, Liris felt her whole body melt and twisted in his grasp.

After long savoring her, Kaiston finally pulled his lips away as if satisfied.

“Ah, it’s delicious. It’s so sweet.”

Kaiston quietly looked down at Liris as she smiled happily and said that.

“I want to hold you.”

When he finally blurted that out, Liris grabbed his cheek with both hands.

“That… I don’t think that’s possible right now.”

“You’ve had a hard time.”

“A little, yes.”

Kaiston nodded and let her go.

“Then I’ll give you a massage.”

Since he’d often done it whenever she was tired while at the fortress, Liris obediently began to undress.

Because it was a fancy dress worn by the Crown Princess, Kaiston had to help her.

Lying naked on the bed in the early evening while sunlight still remained made her a little embarrassed, but thinking of the baby in her womb she suppressed any lewd thoughts.

His hands massaging her body with oil scented faintly of rosemary showed no obvious ulterior motive.

“Are you all right?”

“What do you mean?”

“Earlier you had a lascivious look, but now you don’t seem like that at all.”

Kaiston answered with a slight smile.

“I have my own trick.”

“What’s that?”

“I imagine someone who completely kills my desire while I massage.”

“Who would that be?”

Liris blinked and asked.

“Well, it varies. Just any one of the subordinates…”

“Ugh. That’s kind of gross!”

“Really? Then who should I switch to?”

“Can’t you just think you’re doing it for me?”

Kaiston made a troubled expression.

“I think I’d lose it and pounce within ten seconds.”

Her constant chatter was already scattering his focus and raising his temperature.

Kaiston let out a small sigh and asked, “How many months until the delivery?”

“Only three months left, remember.”

Kaiston rested his forehead on her slightly swollen belly.

“Time isn’t moving fast enough.”

He tapped her belly lightly with his fingertips.

“Can’t it come out and grow up?”

“Haha… I heard it’s more trouble once it comes out.”

“I’ll take good care of it. I can’t feed it, but… I can do everything else.”

Seeing Kaiston say that seriously made Liris break out in a cold sweat.

“Just… hold back a little.”

Kaiston sighed again.

“Ha… right. I should.”

He looked so down that Liris’s resolve wavered.

“If it’s that bad, then just once, a little… shall we?”

“It’s hard, though.”

“Lying down, resting, and getting a massage made me a bit better.”

Kaiston hesitated for a moment but then shook his head.

“Still, don’t overdo it. I can hold back.”

Saying that, Kaiston got up.

“Rest your eyes for a moment.”

After tucking the blanket carefully around Liris, Kaiston headed to the bathroom.

A cold shower was the best way to cool off.

After dinner, Liris returned to the Imperial Palace.

Kaiston had no choice but to escort her because she had promised the Emperor that she would stay in the palace until the wedding.

However, he assigned Aaron to accompany her.

Knowing how dangerous Raiden was, he felt uneasy leaving her alone.

Aaron and Liris looked at him with very worried eyes, so he promised several times he wouldn’t do anything dangerous and then left.

When he returned, the already empty room felt even emptier, and Kaiston sighed.

If they were apart for just a week, it would be fine, he muttered, but the anxiety in his voice made him sick to his stomach.

No matter how he paced the room, took Pluto out to train until exhausted, or lay motionless in the bed that still smelled of Liris.

It was as if he’d forgotten how to fall asleep alone; sleep simply wouldn’t come.

The emptiness her absence created was as deep and heavy as the happiness they’d shared.

So, just like the night before, he spent the night awake.

The next morning, Saik, who had finally returned to the ducal manor, burst into the duke’s study and immediately shouted at Kaiston.

“I heard you were injured?!”

Kaiston frowned and beckoned him to sit.

“How did you hear?”

“Rumor has spread across the Isles that Raiden, that bastard, cowardly tried several times to take the Commander’s life.”

Kaiston looked at Millen. Millen averted his gaze as if ignorant.

“I barely stopped Ban from coming back immediately. What on earth happened?”

“It turns out there’s someone using suicide bombs. You all should be especially careful. It’s best not to give them a chance and to deal with them at once.”

“Suicide bombs? But that’s not at all—”

Millen froze and looked at Kaiston, suddenly beginning to understand what had happened then.

“Are you insane?! You should’ve dodged and let them die, why on earth did you stop it!!”

Watching Millen stomp and shout wildly, Kaiston gave a wry laugh.

“You’ve been resting too much lately, haven’t you?”

“Huh! I nearly died for real!”

With a face full of emotion, Millen glared at Kaiston, leapt up, and stormed out, slamming the door so hard it nearly came off.

“I used to get scolded a lot for doing that when I was young.”

Saik glared at Kaiston as he clicked his tongue and checked whether the study door was secure.

“Still, there’s usually some reason behind it.”

“…You’re giving me a look like you’d grab me by the collar, Saik.”

“Why wouldn’t I? If I could, I would have done it already.”

Kaiston sighed.

“Alright, stop glaring.”

“He’ll do it again next time, won’t he?”

Kaiston shrugged.

“I doubt it.”

“So are you saying that one bastard was so special you risked your life to save him?”

“Saik, what kind of rude comment is that!”

Kamel, who had been quietly holding back beside them, finally exploded in anger.

“His Grace must’ve had his reasons too. Don’t be rude when you don’t know the situation.”

“Are you saying that depending on the situation, it’s okay to risk your life?”

“That’s not what I meant!”

Nel timidly tried to mediate between Saik and Kamel, who were fighting regardless of the Commander’s presence.

“This will really lead to big trouble. Please stop.”

They’d separated those two on purpose, yet within a day they were shouting again. Watching them, Kaiston took a sip from the teacup Damon had prepared.

The pine-scented, clean tea seemed to clear his throbbing head a little.

He wondered what to do with them, felt sorry for worrying others, and was somewhat grateful that they were angry because they cared about him.

Of course his feelings didn’t show at all, which made Nel increasingly uneasy.

“I should meet Raiden.”

Even while they were arguing, Saik and Kamel understood Kaiston’s muttered words and simultaneously looked at him.

“Yes?”

“What are you planning to do by meeting him?”

Kaiston replied as if it were nothing.

“I’m curious what he looks like.”

Kaiston was truly curious how a person could look such that they could commit such vicious acts without hesitation.

The knights watching Kaiston draft a letter to Raiden on the spot exchanged glances.

“Where will you meet him?”

“In a public place. There’s a spot where it’s not a big problem if things get broken.”

“Do you think that man will agree?”

At Saik’s question, Kaiston hummed in thought for a moment, then nodded.

“Raiden would probably want to see what kind of man I am as well.”

“…He’ll be scared, given what he did.”

Kaiston snorted with amusement.

“If he were someone who’d be that afraid of me, he wouldn’t even be in that position.”

Kaiston finished the letter in an instant, inspected it carefully, sealed it in an envelope and stamped it. The knights just stared at his astonishing decisiveness.

“So, when did you ask to meet?”

“I told him to choose the time, so I’ll probably see him within a few days.”

He ordered a servant to send the letter and stood up. It was time to go to the temple.

For the wedding ceremony to be held at the temple, Kaiston had to receive two hours of training each day for a week.

His instructor was a man named Allen, in his mid-fifties, with a gentle demeanor.

He seemed to be a fairly high-ranking priest, and throughout the walk, paladins and priests bowed respectfully.

“Is this your first time visiting the temple?”

“It’s not my first time. There’s a temple near the Red Moon too, though there are no priests there.”

“Ah… is that so?”

Allen led him to the deepest part of the temple, to the dais where light poured in.

Though it couldn’t compare in scale to the temple he’d seen in the Red Moon, its structure was very similar.

Even a fountain-like feature with bubbling water was in the same place.

“When the training is over…”

Kaiston looked at the fountain and suddenly asked.

“Can I also be baptized?”

“Yes?”

Allen asked back with a slightly surprised expression.

“You want to be baptized?”

“Yes.”

“May I ask why?”

Kaiston hesitated a moment at Allen’s question, then confessed honestly; after all, if he was a messenger of God, lies would be seen through.

“I want to be someone worthy of the Crown Princess.”

“Do you think you are not that now?”

Kaiston gave a bitter smile.

“Isn’t that so? I’ve lived having committed a lot of sins.”

Allen looked at him quietly. When his clear, pale-blue eyes stared intently at him in the pouring light, Kaiston felt as if his dark heart was fully exposed, and he strangely wanted to flee.

“Duke.”

Allen smiled and looked at him.

“There are no clean people in this world. Who lives without sin? Even the Crown Princess is the same. However, those who cannot find any fault in themselves tend to blame others, while those like Your Grace, who seek fault within themselves, naturally come to God.”

Kaiston met his gaze.

“You mean that applies to anyone? Even those who live a lifetime without committing apparent evil, and even murderers who took dozens or hundreds of lives?”

“Do you believe there are truly good people in the world? Isn’t it that many lack the ability or courage to act, but in their hearts, who has never wished someone dead? Those who seem good are actually less likely to meet God, because they feel no problem in their lives and see no need for God.”

Kaiston fell silent and looked at the symbol of God behind Allen.

Still, those who died by his hand would not gladly accept his forgiveness. Those who’d lost family to his hand would wish he suffer and perhaps fall into hell.

Yet selfishly, he wanted forgiveness. He wanted happiness.

Even though he wasn’t sure he deserved it, still.

He hoped that after a life filled with remorse and anguish ended, he could rest in peace.

“Is there truly no sin that cannot be forgiven?”

Allen smiled gently at Kaiston’s question.

“Those who have committed sins truly unforgivable will never confess even if given the chance to repent. One who has abandoned God cannot meet God again.”