Chapter 94

“Seriously, thugs are the same no matter where you go. Let’s start with a quick lesson, shall we?”

I grabbed the dwarf by the collar and hoisted him into the air. He was small enough that he ended up dangling right around my waist.

“Wh-what? Hey! You crazy bastard! Let go! I said let—gack! Gkh-hh!”

The dwarf flailed and struggled, but I neutralized his movements completely by masterfully alternating between tightening my grip, loosening it, and giving him a good shake.

After a long string of curses, the dwarf finally started to quiet down. Then…

“Um… sir. I’m sorry. I have this habit of losing my temper… If you could find it in your heart to forgive a fellow professional (?)… I’ll personally take responsibility for all the cardboard boxes you’ll ever need. Deal?”

“Cut the crap.”

A short while later.

I resumed my interrogation of the dwarf, who was now kneeling on the ground with both hands raised high in the air.

“So, you’re admitting to taking the pot, but you’re claiming you never saw a knife?”

He fell silent for a moment before answering with a dead-serious expression.

“Yes, sir. I really don’t know anything about that.”

This guy. He was still lying even in this situation.

Then again, the Recall Dagger did look pretty high-end. I suppose it made sense for him to think that even if he took a few more hits, walking away with that dagger would be a massive win.

“…Fine. I’ll believe you. Get lost.”

“Thank you! Sir! From now on, your bedding is my responsibility! I’ll pick out only the finest cardboard for you!”

He presented me with a single sheet of cardboard—good enough to use as a mat—and then bolted without looking back.

The guy had short legs and was dragging a handcart, but his speed was no joke.

Once he reached the park entrance, he did exactly what I expected.

“Hey! You son of a bitch! Watch your back! I’m gonna come back and rip you to shreds!!”

I let out a soft chuckle.

“Seriously, why does the dialect only come out when he’s swearing?”

I reached my hand out toward him.

“Come here.”

The sprinting dwarf suddenly slammed face-first into the ground, and a second later, his own handcart flattened him.

“Gwahk!”

Then, as if an invisible man was dragging him by the leg, he was pulled backward across the pavement toward me.

“What’s this?! What the hell is happening?!”

Just like that, he was dragged all the way back to my feet. He looked up at me and forced an awkward, trembling smile.

“Heh… hehe… Big Brother.”

I reached down and untied the Recall Dagger fastened to his ankle, then planted my foot firmly on the stomach of the still-sprawling dwarf.

“Urgh!”

“Now then, shall we start our conversation over?”

I picked up my neat tin pot and smirked.

Yeah. A tin pot just isn’t right unless it’s got a few dents in it.

By the evening of my fifth day on the Western Continent:

Clink—

“Thank you! God bless you!”

I stared at the 500-mil coin that had just dropped into the pot, feeling a wave of deep emotion wash over me.

“Ah… finally, finally…”

My body trembled with joy. How long had I waited for this day?

“I’ve got the full 100,000 mil!!”

That was it! I had finally reached my goal of 100,000 mil. To be precise, I had 100,370 mil!

What was this? Why did I feel such an insane sense of accomplishment?

I had raked in a whopping 58,000 mil in just a day and a half. Compared to when I started, this was massive progress.

Of course, I had some help from a certain kind (?) dwarf who “donated” 10,000 mil along the way, but more than that, it was the accumulated know-how on how to get people to donate (?) more.

If there’s too much money in the pot, you can’t trigger people’s sympathy. On the other hand, if there’s no money at all, people hesitate to be the first to give. Bills must be hidden away the moment they are received. And if you look too pathetic or broken, you don’t get donations—you get people’s contempt.

Anyway, putting that aside.

Since I had finally gotten the hang of it, the thought did cross my mind to invest a few more days into this, but…

“Wow, look at this brat. Barely out of diapers and he’s got some balls. Still begging here? Didn’t I tell you to screw off yesterday?”

As early spring brought signs of life, the nighttime temperatures had risen sharply over the past few days. Consequently, the homeless who had been spending their nights under overpasses or in half-finished abandoned houses began migrating to this park.

Furthermore, the spot I currently occupied was one of the few “Golden Long Benches” in the park. It was perfectly smooth so it didn’t hurt your back, had a backrest to block the wind, and was long enough that you didn’t have to keep your feet on the ground. To a homeless person, it was no exaggeration to say this was the best seat in the house.

Naturally, people started looking for trouble.

I answered bluntly.

“I know that face.”

I had already fought a few defensive battles. This scruffy, middle-aged man who looked like he’d been basted in grime and grease was the same guy I’d chased off for bothering me last night.

But the sun hasn’t even been down for thirty minutes… aren’t you a bit early, old man?

“Yeah, it’s been a whole day, you little shit. I saw you can scrap a bit yesterday. But today, I brought my Big Brothers with me! Get ready for the beating of your life. Seong-geun hyungnim! Seong-geun hyungnim!”

Hey… you’re misunderstanding something. When I said I knew the face, I wasn’t talking about your greasy, filthy mug.

“So? Is that dwarf over there one of the ‘Big Brothers’ you brought?”

“That’s right! This is the legendary Seong-geun hyungnim, former enforcer for the Hammer Gang turned businessman!”

Hmm…

I turned to the dwarf, who was turning pale and slowly backing away.

“Your name was Seong-geun?”

“Y-yes. It’s Ka-Kang Seong-geun, s-sir.”

“That’s a very Korean name.”

“Pardon…? Ko-rean?”

“Never mind. More importantly, since your surname comes first, I guess you’re from the Eastern Continent?”

“N-not me, but my father was from the Eastern Continent.”

“I see. Haha. Sorry about the handcart.”

“No, no, sir! It was my fault for touching your professional tools. Of course, absolutely!”

“H-Hyungnim…?”

“Shut up, you brat. This man is a Big Brother.”

“Wait, whose Big Brother? Are you insane?”

“Ah, I—I’m sorry. I was just trying to show my deepest respect…”

“The Hammer Gang? You were an enforcer for a criminal cartel?”

“…I wouldn’t go so far as to call it a ‘cartel.’ I just ran a little errand center with some local kids… I-I’ve washed my hands of it now, of course. You can tell since I’m out here collecting paper. I’m serious!”

“Aha. I see. Heh, hehehe.”

As my laughter reached his ears, Seong-geun the dwarf turned deathly pale.

Time to get to work, my trusty pot.

Fifteen minutes later.

I found myself humming a tune. My steps felt light enough to fly.

“50,000 mil~ 50,000 mil~ I never thought I’d add another 50,000 just like that~ What a bunch of nice guys~”

Did I shake them down? Heavens, no.

I simply handed over the spot I had so diligently guarded to them for the bargain price of 50,000 mil.

You’re asking why I took money for a spot that isn’t even my land? Hey, think of it as a premium fee.

“Alright… now that the war funds (?) are gathered… shall we really get moving? Good. First target: the general store!”

“Welcome—oh, wait! You’re the Oppa who was sitting over there!”

“Yes. Hello. I am indeed the Oppa who was sitting over there.”

“Ohohoho!”

Despite my half-hearted joke, the beautiful Elf part-timer let out a bright peal of laughter.

She was a kind soul. A truly charming lady, her tall, slender figure looking exceptionally well-suited to her tight leather pants.

“But what should I do? We don’t have any expired food during the evening shift… you have to come exactly at dawn for that.”

This place really was just like a convenience store.

“No, I didn’t come for the expired food today. I’m here to buy a few things…”

The Elf girl’s eyes went wide.

“Really? What are you looking for?”

Instead of answering, I took a quick stroll around the store.

“This, this, and… let’s see. This should do. Here’s the money.”

As I placed the items from my basket onto the counter, the Elf girl’s expression suddenly turned grave when she saw the contents.

“Scissors and a utility knife? Even nail clippers? Wait… Oppa! You don’t need to rush into things like this yet!”

“Huh?”

“Just a few days ago, you were smiling like you had the whole world just because of a lunch box! What could have happened in those few days to make you like this?!”

“Um… did I really look that happy back then? This is embarrassing… No, more importantly, I think you’re misunderstanding something. I’m just—”

However, this part-timer possessed a ‘my-pace’ personality that rivaled Shia’s. She didn’t listen to a word I said and kept going.

“Don’t you know the saying that life begins at 400? I admit that for maybe 100 or 200 years, things might not go your way. But isn’t life about eventually seeing the light?”

“My father failed at business several times and didn’t see the light until he was over 400. I’m sure it’ll be the same for you, Oppa. So have courage! Put these gruesome things back where they belong! I’ll buy you a lunch box with my own money!!”

I looked at her with a troubled expression in the face of her grand ‘consolation’ and asked:

“Young lady. Just how old are you…?”

“Ah, ahhh. I see. So you’re using these to trim your hair and beard?”

The ‘young and fresh’ (?) Elf part-timer, who had apparently just turned 102, spoke with a deep blush creeping across her face.

Oh, for the record, the Elves in this neighborhood also use a ‘divided by five’ rule to convert their ages into human terms.

“…I’ll concede the scissors, but what on earth were you imagining I’d do with nail clippers?”

“Well… there was this novel that was popular a while ago… you know. The Nail Clipper Killer.”

“I’ve never heard of it.”

It was probably a popular novel in the Tubilan Empire… was it the nail clipper version of The Horribly Slow Killer with the Extremely Inefficient Weapon?

“Oh my? You haven’t seen that famous book? It was such a huge issue. The scene where the killer clips one of the victims to death…”

What is that?! That’s terrifying!!!

“A-anyway, now that the misunderstanding is cleared up, could you ring me up?”

“Hehehe. Yes. That will be 4,500 mil.”

“Here you go. Have a good one.”

“Ah, and also!”

Just as I finished my business and turned to leave, the Elf girl suddenly called out to me.

“Yes?”

“Take this too.”

She rummaged through her bag, which she had brought from the back office, and pulled out a small purple square object to hand to me.

“What is this?”

“It’s a hand mirror. If you press that protruding bit on the corner, the lid opens.”

“Ah, I see. But why give me this?”

“You said you were going to trim your hair and beard. Wouldn’t it be better if you could see what you were doing?”

To be fair, my beard was quite overgrown. I hadn’t been able to shave from the moment I started that Cops Village quest until today. As for my hair, it just felt like it was time for a trim.

“Ah… you’re right. Thank you. But is it okay for you to give this away?”

“I have lots of mirrors. It’s not expensive. Instead, make sure to stop by here again after you’ve finished trimming your hair and beard.”

“Hmm? Why?”

She gave a slightly shy smile.

“I have a bit of an eye for these things… and I have a feeling you’ll look quite handsome once you’ve cleaned yourself up, Oppa. I’d really like to see.”

Under a streetlight in a corner of the park, I began trimming my beard and hair, relying on the palm-sized hand mirror.

Snip, snip.

I had briefly considered just roughly shaving with the Recall Dagger… but in the end, it’s always best to use the proper tool for the job.

Snip, snip, slide…

Ting, ting, tick.

Even though it was a park in a busy district, it was strangely deserted today. The only sound was the occasional thud of insects, drawn by the bright light of the mana-stone streetlamp, hitting the glass cover.

Using that silence as my companion, I quietly began to map out my future plans in my head.