No Way She Knows, Right? (lol)

“…………Why the hell did I match with her?”

After finishing my newspaper delivery shift, I came home, took a shower, and checked my phone while eating breakfast.

Apparently, all that mindless tapping last night had paid off, because I had gotten one “match.”

I opened it, wondering what kind of girl had decided to talk to me, and nearly dropped my phone.

The moment I saw her profile picture, a bead of cold sweat ran down the back of my neck. The photo was edited, but I recognized that face. On top of that, her name was listed as “Yū.”

Yūha Sanjō. She had probably shortened “Yūha” to “Yū.”

Unless this was some prank by someone who hated me, there was almost no doubt that it was my sister.

“Damn it, I don’t even remember who I sent ‘Likes’ to yesterday.”

I had been drunk, and I had been in a terrible mood.

I had been tapping away at my phone without much thought, so there had been several people whose photos I hadn’t even properly checked. She must have been mixed in among them.

“Still, why did Yūha return my ‘Like’…?”

I checked my profile picture, wondering if maybe I looked too handsome in it. Nope. It was just me.

But maybe…

My hairstyle was different from when I was in high school, and my clothes were completely different too.

And “Saburō” wasn’t exactly an unusual name… or at least, that was what I decided to believe. Which meant there was a chance Yūha had no idea this was me.

That had to be it.

After all, Yūha and I had been estranged ever since a huge fight two years ago.

I wasn’t good with her, and she probably hated me too. If she spotted me on a dating app, she would block me immediately. There was absolutely no way she had recognized me and then deliberately sent me a “Like.”

I see.

I seeee…

“I can use this.”

A sleazy grin escaped me. I swirled the coffee in my mug, feeling like some evil mastermind.

Yūha had no idea this was me. I knew exactly who she was.

Which meant that if I could coax some humiliating, embarrassing material out of her through our chats, I could absolutely destroy her with it the next time we met! (beaming smile)

The moment I thought of that, the whole world suddenly seemed brighter.

Other people’s happiness tasted like mud. Other people’s misery tasted like honey.

I cheerfully carried my plate to the sink and washed it. I even started humming. Meanwhile, I considered what kind of message I should send her.

After thinking it over, I decided to keep the first one simple.

“Nice to meet you!”

That was all I sent.

“Ew, that’s disgusting!”

The moment Yūha saw the “Nice to meet you!” message from her brother, she threw her phone.

The rectangular object landed softly on the bed and made no further protest.

After taking several deep breaths, Yūha picked her phone back up.

Whether this was a nightmare or divine punishment, Saburō’s “Nice to meet you!” still stubbornly remained on the screen.

“Gross, gross, gross, this is way too gross, I can’t, this is awful, what the hell is he thinking…?”

It was the kind of overly simple opening message common among dating-app beginners. A plain sentence like this would never make someone stand out from the masses. Women constantly received huge numbers of “Likes” and messages. If a man wanted to get even half a step ahead of the competition, he needed at least a little ingenuity.

The fact that Rokurō, who was three whole years older than her, was showing such an inexperienced side of himself made Yūha feel intensely creeped out.

Her feelings were basically: You’re this old already, at least act like you know what you’re doing, idiot!

She touched her forehead and took three deep breaths. Once she had calmed down, she reconsidered the situation.

Would her brother really send Yūha a message like this?

Rokurō Sanjō was a man with a thoroughly twisted personality who practically lived off other people’s misery.

If he learned that a friend was getting close to a girl, he would rush over to interfere. If he heard there were Christmas illuminations somewhere, he would start praying for a blackout. If he saw the rusted padlocks people attached with messages like “Let’s come back for this after we get married,” he would sneer, “These two definitely broke up already.” He was that kind of utterly irredeemable scumbag.

Would a Rokurō like that ever humiliate himself this badly in front of his little sister?

No.

Absolutely not.

“He hasn’t noticed.”

The realization struck Yūha like an electric current.

She checked her profile photo. It was heavily edited, making her look about twice as cute as usual.

Now that she thought about it, identifying her from this would certainly be difficult. There had to be plenty of other users named “Yū” too.

Which meant that right now, this situation was—

“Overwhelmingly in my favor.”

Her well-shaped lips curled upward like a crescent moon as she became completely convinced of her advantage.

By sheer coincidence, she arrived at exactly the same idea as Rokurō: draw out some embarrassing lines from the other person, then use them as ammunition later.

In that case, there was only one thing to do.

She had to act.

Act, act, and keep acting until the very end.

She would pretend to be a cute, sweet girl, make him desperately want to meet her, and get him to say something like, “Would you like to have tea this Saturday?”

Then she would be free to say whatever she wanted afterward.

“Inviting your own little sister on a date? Wow, what a huge pervert. I hope someone reports you.”

For Yūha, that would be sweeter than any all-you-can-eat dessert buffet—

The ultimate subscription service of humiliation.

“Now then, how should I seduce him?”

She kicked her legs back and forth on the bed and spent an entire hour organizing her thoughts.

Then she flicked across the screen and typed out a message.

“Nice to meet you! Saburō-san, what do you usually do on your days off?”

Send.

“I wonder what kind of reply I’ll get~”

She tossed aside the now-useless phone and lay on her back on the bed.

It was ten in the morning. Bright sunlight shone outside, and there was no one else in the house.

Still dressed in her school uniform, Yūha stared absently up at the ceiling.