Not In A Sexual Way

Keiji, sitting across from me, opened his mouth solemnly as though he’d just discovered the truth of the universe.

“If, when you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you— then when we think about boobs, perhaps boobs are also thinking about us.”

“This guy’s about due for disposal before he becomes a danger to society.”

And he had the nerve to spout something that stupid in the sacred living room of my home.

I brewed two glasses of iced coffee in the kitchen, which was separated from the living room by a counter, and carried them over.

I set them on the table. We didn’t have anything fancy like coasters, so around this time of year everything ended up soaked with condensation.

It was just past noon, broad daylight. Even though it was a weekday, university students had it easy, and this guy had suddenly shown up at my house.

“So, what happened?”

“Nako-chan…”

“Go home. Never come back. May you only ever win participation prizes at bingo tournaments.”

“I haven’t even said anything yet!”

“The moment you said Nako-san, I knew everything! You’re just going to start one of those relationship-advice sessions that’s actually an excuse to brag about how happy your love life is. Come ask me for advice after she dumps you.”

“Help me out, Sabuuu.”

A grown man grabbed onto my right arm with both hands, whining pathetically.

Please tell me this was a dream. I still couldn’t believe a creature like this was my best friend.

“Seriously, I’m not some robotic cat from the future.”

Was there even a gadget for making up with your girlfriend?

There were probably plenty that could work if horribly misused, but I didn’t know of any legitimate ones.

“I mean, the fact that someone like you managed to date someone like Nako-san in the first place was already a miracle. From what I heard, the way you approached her basically qualified as stalking.”

“Yeah… You’re right. There’s no way someone like me deserves to be Nako-chan’s boyfriend…”

“Don’t get all depressed in someone else’s house. It’s humid enough already. You’ll make mold grow.”

“I’m basically on the same level as mold anyway.”

“In this house, people in happy relationships rank lower than mold.”

“How do you manage not to comfort me even after that setup?”

Keiji slumped face-first onto the table as if deeply disappointed.

So his little bout of negativity had been an act after all.

He lazily sat back up and took a sip of coffee. Then he looked at the electric fan between us, desperately turning its head from side to side, and muttered,

“By the way, isn’t it hot?”

“Don’t say it. I’m doing my best to endure it too.”

June was almost over, and summer had finally started baring its fangs.

I was glad there were fewer rainy days, but having temperatures near thirty degrees day after day was miserable.

Besides the fan I’d been using since my old place, I’d bought another one for Yūha.

But even that was nothing more than a temporary distraction.

Before much longer, we’d have no choice but to run the air conditioners.

“I heard it’s surprisingly cheap if you just leave them running.”

“I know. But listen, Keiji. This house has three rooms.”

“Ah… right…”

There was my room, which I used for work during the day and sleep at night.

There was Yūha’s room, where she spent her time after coming home from school.

And then there was this living room, connected to the kitchen and annoyingly spacious.

I really did not want to think about the electricity bill we’d get from running the air conditioner in every single one of them.

This humble samurai sincerely refused to contemplate such horrors.

“So for now, I have no intention of using the air conditioner for some dude.”

“You really do spoil Yūha-chan.”

“Shut up. Break up already.”

“Don’t casually say something that brutal!”

Keiji fake-cried loudly.

Seriously, what had he even come here for?

Well, entertaining him over lunch wouldn’t interfere with my work.

“Hey, Sabu. I brought lunch, so at least hear me out.”

“Depends what you brought.”

He’d once pulled out snack ramen after saying the exact same thing.

I’d genuinely considered ending our friendship then and there.

“It’s from that bento shop near the university. Fried chicken or fried shrimp—which do you want?”

“Either one… No, fried chicken.”

Putting what I’d learned the other day into practice, I made sure to choose.

If someone asked me a question, I would answer properly.

Two guys sat facing each other in a hot room, eating high-calorie boxed lunches.

To an outside observer, it probably looked like a vision of hell.

“Nako-chan won’t let me kiss her.”

“What are you, a middle schooler…?”

It was an utterly unproductive use of time.

Yūha usually came home a little while after I finished delivering the evening papers.

Recently, she’d apparently been studying in the school’s self-study room as much as possible.

Part of it was so she could catch up on what she’d fallen behind on, with help from Kumagai-sensei and the other teachers.

But she’d also admitted that the air conditioning in the study room was part of the appeal.

That school was academically competitive, so its study facilities were pretty good.

I could understand wanting to hole up there.

For that reason, I’d started using this time to study too.

With an exam in autumn as my goal, I was rebuilding my rusty English ability.

Not merely back to where I had been at my best, but beyond it.

Otherwise, it wouldn’t be useful enough to make a living.

Every reference book I was using had been given to me by Kumagai-sensei.

Apparently, they were sample copies the school had received and left sitting around unused.

“If we keep them, no one’s going to use them anyway. You might as well put them to use, Sanjō.”

That was what he’d told me.

Reference books like these were surprisingly expensive, so they were a huge help to our household budget.

On top of that, he was even going to give me English-language newspapers from the collection he kept personally.

Apparently, from now on he’d regularly send them to me through Yūha.

Was it really okay for him to do this much for me?

That question crossed my mind, but I was sure that teacher would simply say it was.

I was fortunate.

There was no denying that my life had been hard.

But that didn’t mean everything in the world had abandoned me.

So I still couldn’t give up.

“Still, it’s seriously hot today…”

Even when I tried to concentrate, I couldn’t.

Usually it was at least a little better by evening.

I wanted to turn on the air conditioner, but…

I’d quit delivering the morning paper, so we didn’t have much financial breathing room.

Since Yūha had started living with me, I’d cut back on work so our daily schedules would line up better.

Naturally, that meant my income had dropped too.

I was trying to make up for it elsewhere, but that wasn’t something you could do overnight.

I’d known this might happen, but our household budget was already in trouble.

I clasped my hands behind my head and leaned my weight against the backrest.

Back when I lived alone, there wasn’t really anything I wanted.

Lately, though, I’ve become strangely greedy.

I wanted to feed her good food.

I wanted her to live comfortably.

I wanted to buy her cute clothes.

I wanted to take her somewhere fun—

I wanted Yūha to have the ordinary happiness everyone else took for granted.

Those desires had taken over my mind.

“I’m home.”

While I was thinking about that, she came back.

I closed my reference book and stood up.

When I went out into the living room, Yūha came in with her bag hanging sloppily from one shoulder.

“Welcome home.”

“It’s way too hot today.”

“Want something refreshing for dinner?”

“Yeah. I don’t feel like I could eat anything greasy.”

While Yūha put her things away in her room, I checked the refrigerator.

I pulled out the ingredients for the first thing that came to mind.

Once I’d confirmed we had everything I needed, Yūha came back out of her room.

“What are you making?”

“Cold pasta.”

“That sounds fancy! Hey, how do you make it?”

Her excitement immediately shot up, and she trotted over beside me.

She even put on an apron, clearly ready to cook.

Yūha apparently considered all the household chores her responsibility.

Whether it was cleaning or cooking, she actively stopped me from doing it.

Laundry was about the only thing we did separately.

I appreciated it, but I couldn’t help thinking she didn’t have to work so hard.

Sure, I was working, but Yūha was going to school too.

In that sense, we should have been equals.

I’d tried discussing something along those lines with her, but—

“No, nope, absolutely not.”

She refused to listen.

If I tried to take over, she got upset, which made things difficult.

I supposed this was Yūha’s way of trying to support me.

Cooking was the one thing she allowed me to help with, under the excuse that I was teaching her.

So the two of us often stood in the kitchen together before dinner.

“I’ve got a pot of water heating here with more salt than usual. Before it starts boiling, we’ll chop the vegetables and make the sauce.”

“Rokurō, you’d probably be good as an assistant on a cooking show.”

“If there’s a job opening, I’d love an introduction. Don’t you have any celebrity friends, Yūha?”

“Why would there be celebrities at a prep school like mine?”

“Yeah, fair.”

Besides, this wasn’t exactly a major city.

It was just some vaguely defined town that was developed enough to be convenient.

Living here wasn’t difficult, but there wasn’t much in the way of entertainment.

“How was school today?”

“Mm, nothing special. No problems.”

“That’s good.”

“Peace and quiet is best.”

We mixed the ingredients into a sauce, then boiled the pasta once the water came to a boil.

Using the spare time to make a salad meant dinner was simple, but complete.

Once we finished eating, we usually spent the rest of the evening doing our own things.

We’d shower whenever we felt like it, study, or finish whatever work remained.

If our timing happened to line up, Yūha and I would sometimes watch videos together.

But today, the heat was so brutal that I didn’t feel like doing anything at all.

I sprawled out in the living room while drinking water packed with an absurd amount of ice.

Today was bad.

I might not even be able to sleep.

Even after sunset, the temperature showed no sign of dropping.

There wasn’t much wind either, so opening the windows didn’t solve anything.

Still…

Once you experienced the comfort of air conditioning, there was no going back.

I would never forget the tragedy of last summer.

I’d finally given in and used it constantly, only to receive a horrifying electricity bill.

I could not let that happen again.

“Rokurō.”

“Mm?”

“It’s hot.”

“I told you it’s fine to turn on the air conditioner. Actually, turn it on. What are you going to do if you get heatstroke?”

“But you’re not using yours.”

Yūha said it with a deeply dissatisfied expression.

“If we have to save money, then I won’t use mine either.”

“If you ruin your health, saving money is pointless. Turn it on. You can’t afford to miss that much school anymore, right?”

“…………”

Yūha strode over and sat in the chair across from me.

There was only one table and two chairs in this living room.

She leaned forward, furrowed her brow, and said,

“Want me to say the same thing back to you?”

“I’m fine. Something like this isn’t going to make me collapse.”

“Just because you won’t collapse doesn’t mean it’s okay to push yourself… That’s not right.”

I couldn’t say anything back.

There was something in Yūha’s tone that left no room for argument, and more importantly, she was right.

“I can’t accept that kind of kindness.”

“Sorry.”

“No. I’m being selfish too.”

At that point, both of us fell silent.

Caring about someone and sacrificing yourself for them were two different things.

We both understood that.

The reality was simply that we couldn’t afford to have both.

“I don’t really want to talk about this stuff, but… financially, we can only afford to run one air conditioner. It’s not like we’re going bankrupt next month or anything, but not being able to save anything makes me nervous.”

“So we can run one?”

“That much is fine.”

Yūha sank into thought.

Her medium-length hair fluttered around her mouth.

After a moment, she opened her eyes.

Apparently, she’d thought of something.

“Then we can just sleep together.”

She raised one finger, her expression practically screaming, Brilliant idea!

“Is that no good?”

Yūha tilted her head and asked.

For a while, all I could do was stare blankly at her.

After a long stretch of panic and frantic thought, I finally decided, If I refuse here, it’ll expose the fact that we’re stepsiblings, and nodded.

…Sleep together.

Excuse me?

What exactly does “sleep together” mean here?