Nene Komaki

Ever since I started using the dating app, there was someone I found myself thinking about almost every day.

Not Yūha—(I was messaging her, so it wasn’t like I needed to “remember” her)—but my ex-girlfriend from high school, Nene Komaki.

She had a youthful face framed by a bob cut, stood 160 centimeters tall, had a large chest, and on top of that, an unbelievably good personality. Even I, someone who considered finding faults in other people my true calling, couldn’t complain about her character. Maybe I had just been blinded by love. Now that we had broken up, there was no way to know.

I doubted I would ever meet someone as wonderful as her again.

Komaki was always doing things for other people, and that adorable face of hers was usually set in a serious expression. I liked how, whenever she smiled, her beautiful face scrunched up and became just a little ugly.

When we started dating, the people around us caused quite a stir. Keiji had practically foamed at the mouth in shock.

Komaki had been the one to fall in love first.

As for me, I had thought of her as a cute classmate. A genuinely nice person. That was about it. I had never believed someone like her would be a good match for someone like me.

I was the one who broke up with her.

I did think it had been a waste. But I had never truly regretted it. The more I thought about it, the more I believed it had been for the best.

I drank some instant coffee that tasted like watered-down coffee and sank deeply into my chair.

Come to think of it, Komaki was the only person I had ever told about my family situation.

She alone knew that I wasn’t related by blood to Yūha—

No.

That I wasn’t related by blood to anyone in that household.

I doubted I would ever meet someone I could open my heart to that completely again.

On my phone screen, the “Likes” I sent out with my fingertips somehow felt hollow.

When Yūha heard that Rokurō had gotten a girlfriend, she hadn’t been surprised in the slightest.

Even after learning that the girl was beautiful and had a good personality, Yūha had merely nodded and said, “Well, it is Rokurō.”

If you judged him purely by his abilities, Rokurō Sanjō was by no means inferior.

He had always been good at studying and was reasonably athletic too. His personality was twisted in certain ways, but he also had a fundamentally decent side that disliked genuinely hurting people.

If things happened to line up, and someone came along who truly understood him, Yūha had thought it wasn’t impossible for him to find a girlfriend.

That day, Yūha boarded a train for the first time in a while.

It was just before noon on a day off.

The train was less crowded than she had expected, and she was even able to find a seat.

She had only ever taken this train when going to school, so she hadn’t known what it was like at this hour.

The uncrowded carriage was comfortable, and she thought the blue sea visible through the window looked beautiful.

She got off at the station where they had agreed to meet and passed through the ticket gates.

After leaving the station building, she headed to a café on the first floor of a nearby building.

That was their meeting place.

She looked around, but there was no one who seemed to fit the description yet.

“Yūha-chan, over here.”

Just as she thought that, someone called out to her.

She turned around and saw a woman wearing a cool-looking long skirt.

Yūha studied her face again and then realized.

The woman was Nene Komaki.

Her hair had grown longer, she was wearing makeup, and even her clothes looked more mature than the last time Yūha had seen her.

She had become such a lovely woman that it was understandable Yūha hadn’t recognized her at first glance.

Yūha bowed slightly and greeted her.

“Long time no see, Nene-san.”

“Long time no see. Have you been doing well?”

Perhaps she had gotten a perm, because Nene’s hair fell in loose waves.

Her large eyes and the softness of her youthful expression hadn’t changed at all.

“Yes. …Well, I’ve been doing okay.”

She couldn’t exactly admit that she had stopped going to school, so she gave a safe answer.

That wasn’t what they had come here to talk about today anyway.

Nene pointed toward the café and beckoned Yūha over.

“Let’s go inside. If we stand around out here talking, we’ll get sunburned.”

“Okay.”

The café was pleasantly cool thanks to the air conditioning.

Whether it was due to global warming or not, May seemed hotter these days than it used to.

Two employees stood behind the counter near the entrance and handed them a seemingly endless menu.

There were the standard coffees and teas, classics like cocoa and matcha lattes, as well as a wide selection of seasonal drinks.

“Yūha-chan, what would you like?”

“No, I’ll pay for mine.”

“It’s fine. At times like this, you should let your senior treat you.”

Nene stopped Yūha from taking out her wallet and stepped forward.

Facing the employee, she ordered something that appeared to be a limited-time item.

Yūha thanked her and ordered the same thing.

Nene smiled happily and paid for both of them.

They took their seats, and when their number was called, Yūha went to collect the drinks.

Then the two sat facing each other.

Yūha took a sip through the straw from the latte topped with fluffy cream.

“Mmm, delicious.”

“Yes. It’s really good.”

“Why does eating or drinking something sweet make you feel so happy?”

“Sugar becomes energy for the brain, so your body is happy to get it…”

Halfway through speaking, Yūha suddenly realized what she was saying and put the straw back in her mouth.

She lowered her head and stared down at the cream.

Her shadowed cheeks were faintly red.

Nene gave a quiet laugh.

“Rokurō-kun used to say the exact same thing.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

Yūha denied it in a mutter, but Nene’s smile only deepened.

That wasn’t what she had meant at all.

Yūha felt frustrated that Rokurō’s words had come out so naturally.

“But we’re here to talk about him today, right?”

“…Yes.”

Yūha reluctantly admitted it.

She had already told Nene beforehand that she wanted to know how Rokurō was doing.

If she had waited until today to ask and Nene hadn’t known anything, then both of them would have made the trip for nothing.

“I haven’t seen him even once since graduation either. We went to different middle schools, so not even at the coming-of-age ceremony. And it looks like he doesn’t use social media or anything.”

“Right.”

When Rokurō graduated from high school and moved out of his family home, he had thrown everything away.

He canceled his phone contract and left with only a few personal belongings.

Apparently, their mother knew his address, but not his phone number.

—Although even if Yūha knew either of those things, it wouldn’t mean anything.

It wasn’t as if she wanted to go see him.

It wasn’t as if she wanted to hear his voice.

She simply wanted to know.

She wanted to know what had become of Rokurō Sanjō—the man who had vanished from her life for two years, never showed his face during Obon or New Year’s, and even lied about himself on a dating app.

“It’s okay, Yūha-chan. I wouldn’t have asked you to come all this way if I hadn’t found anything.”

“Th-that’s goo—… Thank you.”

Just as she had begun to lose hope, Nene reached out and gave it back to her.

Yūha nearly let her emotions show.

It was already far too late, but she corrected herself, convinced she had successfully hidden them.

(…It’s not like I’m happy about this or anything.)

She placed her hands on her knees and steadied her breathing.

Right.

This was like finally understanding a math problem you couldn’t solve.

She hated math, but finding the answer still made her happy.

That was all this was.

“So… how is my brother? How is Rokurō doing?”

“It sounds like he’s alive.”

“I see.”

Yūha gently placed a hand against her chest.

For some reason, she felt relieved.

Maybe it was because this proved that the person she had been exchanging messages with recently really was Rokurō.

Or maybe she was simply relieved to hear from a third party that he was alive.

“But apparently life is pretty hard for him. He’s working all the time and doesn’t really go out and have fun.”

“Is he… eating properly?”

“He’s apparently lost a little weight, but he hasn’t collapsed or anything. Rokurō-kun told me he couldn’t cook, so it does make me worry.”

“Ahaha…”

Yūha gave an awkward laugh.

There was no way she could tell Nene that Rokurō was currently pretending to be a skilled home cook on a dating app.

Still, at least she now knew that he seemed to be managing to live on his own.

“So he hasn’t told you anything either, Yūha-chan.”

Nene sighed and narrowed her eyes sadly.

Perhaps a cloud had passed overhead, because the light from outside disappeared for a moment.

The shadow seemed to make the emotions on the woman’s face stand out even more.

Yūha found herself asking before she could stop herself.

“Um, Nene-san… what do you think of Rokurō now?”

“Hmm. What do I think of him…?”

Yūha regretted asking immediately.

Nene had been dumped by Rokurō.

Right before graduation, without any warning.

Honestly, Yūha probably should have avoided asking about him at all.

And yet she had gone and asked something like that.

“Ah, no. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I know he did something awful to you. I’m sorry for making you remember him today too.”

“He never did anything awful to me. Rokurō-kun loved me very much.”

Yūha’s eyes widened.

Part of her thought, I knew it.

Another part demanded, Then why?

If that was true, why had Rokurō left Nene?

“…I see. I misunderstood this whole time.”

Yūha had liked Nene.

She had been kind and dependable, like an older sister to her.

So when Yūha heard that Rokurō had broken up with her—that he had been the one to end it—she had felt betrayed.

She could still remember the day of his graduation perfectly.

Rokurō had been waiting in his school uniform when he told her about it, and Yūha had gotten angry.

“There’s no one better than her.”

“Why were you the one who dumped her?”

It had started like that.

At first Rokurō had simply taken everything she threw at him, but eventually he had gotten angry too— and, probably for the first time, they had fought.

Rokurō, who as far as Yūha could remember had never once gotten angry with her.

For the first time in his life, he had openly shown his emotions.

Neither of them was used to fighting, so they couldn’t find a way to bring things to an end.

They only grew more and more heated.

And finally, Yūha had said it.

—You’re not my Onii-chan at all.

Rokurō had looked as though he had suddenly come back to his senses.

Then his face had twisted, and he had replied with only—

—Yeah. That’s right.

That had been the end.

Without saying anything else, Rokurō had left the house.

“Relationships are difficult, aren’t they?”

“Yes.”

Nene said it as if reminding herself, while Yūha held her head in her hands.

If there had been some kind of misunderstanding— then perhaps she had hurt Rokurō.

Perhaps she had been so shaken that she had refused to listen to anything he wanted to say.

Now that two years had passed and she could finally think calmly, regret came flooding in.

Even so, Yūha raised her head and asked one more question.

“Nene-san, why did you like Rokurō?”

“Because Rokurō-kun is kind.”

Yūha quietly closed her eyes.

She should have known that better than anyone.

And yet, until meeting Nene today, she had forgotten.

(…I want to see Rokurō.)

The moment she admitted that wish to herself, the sadness became almost unbearable.