My Childhood Friend And Shopping

According to my childhood friend, “Matching stuff with a friend is nice — happy, fun, the whole deal — but unless there’s some really strong distinguishing feature or memory attached to it, you wind up going, ‘wait, who was this matching set with again…?’, and that’s honestly kind of a hassle,” apparently.

When it comes to normal friends, I wouldn’t really know. But with a childhood friend as odd as mine, paired off with the likewise not-quite-normal Hina and senior Hotaru and the rest, maybe that’s just how it goes.

And that childhood friend of mine, Sakura Ayuri, who’d just tossed off a line that to any onlooker would make her sound like quite the two-timer… well, as for her right now…

“Man… that was so good!”

At the family restaurant, a melon soda from the drink bar in one hand, she wore a satisfied look, as if still overcome by the movie we’d just finished watching. Beside her sat a bag holding the pamphlet and merch our senior had treated her to.

“It’s been a while since I saw something like that, but it was pretty fun, huh.”
“Right?! Okay, so — like you saw, this time the story’s basically the reverse: in the main series, a future version of the hero jumped back through time to come save everyone, and this time it’s us going forward to the future to save him instead, y’know? And on that timeline, since the rescue that came in the main series never comes, it turns into this super brutal world, and all his comrades from the main series except the heroine died off right away, so the way the hero acts and how his relationship with the heroine changes is just huge. And so — right? — that’s exactly why the future hero goes all overprotective of the main-series heroine who’s still alive, and he’s got these darker patches the main-series version doesn’t have, from the trauma of all the things he couldn’t protect, and the catharsis when he finally gets over that trauma is SO good! And the final shot at the end is so good too!! There’s this name-only character that kept popping up here and there if you watch the main series, and they use them like, ‘oh, THIS is how you’re gonna pay that off?!’ — such a clean way to wrap it up!! Oh, and the theme song’s great, too! I’d been listening to it a bunch even before I saw the movie ‘cause I thought it was a good song, but after watching, it picks up so much of the plot in the lyrics, and I got all ‘ahh, so THAT’S the stuff those lyrics were referencing—’ and got emotional all over again, and, oh, there’s also—”
“Uh-huh, uh-huh.”

Ayu talks and talks and talks; it’s pretty rare to hear her go on this long, this fired up. She’d teared up a little during the movie, too, so the story must have really struck a chord with her. …Actually, no, this kid tears up pretty much any time a scene gets even slightly moving.

“Huh, so that’s how it was… I see…”

That aside (had she already forgotten how she’d been humiliated by the very senior sitting across from her right before the show?), Ayu launches into explaining to senior Hotaru what the various scenes in the movie meant. And our senior, for her part, looks satisfied at the rare sight of Ayu holding forth so passionately.

“Man, I’m really glad I got to see it! I heard the pamphlets were sold out, but as you can see, I managed to buy a reprint— to buy…”

Ah. Looks like she remembered.

Ayu had been happily flipping through the pamphlet she’d pulled out, but her page-turning hand gradually slowed, then stopped.

“Ghh~… somebody~… somebody kill me~…! Kill me softly~ kill me softly~… killing me softlyyy~…”
“Hey! You mustn’t go saying things like that!”
“The person who caused all this has the nerve to say something~…”

Going full-otaku over a tokusatsu movie at length, then flopping face-down on the table to lament the very next second. She’s a busy one. Well, the gushing I’ll let slide, but she’s the one who let herself get bought off with freebies, so I don’t feel all that sorry for her.

“Look, the pizza’s here. This one’s for everyone to share, right?”
“Uuugh~ Gin~…”
“Yeah, you flopping over there is in the way.”
“Sorry~… but it’s cold~…”

It really is in the way, and besides, wasn’t it Ayu herself who said “let’s all eat the pizza together!” in the first place?

◆◆◆

Leaving the family restaurant behind, the three of us set off to browse the shopping mall.

Along the way, Ayu’s eyes kept wandering to the toy section; our senior dressed her up in one thing after another at the apparel racks like she was a doll; and at the capsule-toy machines, Ayu would announce exactly what she was after, only to keep drawing her second- or third-favorite instead…

All sorts of things happened.

“Gin?! Come on, it’s such a waste! If it’s just a prize figure, buying one somewhere around here’d be faster and cheaper!”
“You just don’t get the romance of it! Here, I’ll hold our spot, so go get some change!”

…Well, things like that happened too.

◆◆◆

“So pretty…”
“You really like this kind of thing, huh, Ayu.”

Ayu gazes at a corner lined with glasswork and the like. Cups in reds and blues, patterns of every kind, beautifully crafted animals; arrayed together, they really did give off a lovely gleam.

“Jewels and stuff make me kind of uneasy, but this kind of thing is nice, huh… like, it’s the crystallization of human craft, or the artistry of it…”
“That part’s the same for jewels, though.”
“You’ve got no sense of romance, Gin.”

My own line from a moment ago, thrown right back at me.

What we’re doing right now is waiting for senior Hotaru. She had something she wanted to buy for herself, and while we waited, we’d decided to look over the craftwork around here.

“So what’s the difference?”
“Hmm… the price?”
“Forget romance, that’s got no sentiment to it either…”
“Kidding, kidding.”

Ayu gazes at the glasswork, finger to her chin, and thinks it over. Staring so intently, she looks, to an onlooker, like a kid with her nose against a shop window, eyeing something she wants but can’t have.

“Let’s see… with jewels, sure, the human cutting matters too, but fundamentally they’re the crystallization of nature piling up over ages, that rare kind of natural gleam, y’know?”
“Right.”
“Glasswork, on the other hand… since it’s easier to work, there’s more of the human hand in it than in jewels… and the way it shines can change depending on who makes it — a gleam you can feel the creativity in, maybe?”
“Huh… that’s pretty sensible, for Ayu.”
“What do you take me for?”
“A weirdo?”

Or so I toss back, just that one line, and pick one of the glass animals up at random. The shop’s lights passed through the glasswork, casting a pale glow onto my palm. It’s not as though I live a life with any connection to jewels myself, but the gleam this little animal gives off really does feel different from the gleam I imagine jewels having… or so I think.

“Hmm… maybe the reason I like glasswork more than jewels is, in a way, sympathy.”
“…Sympathy?”

As I gazed idly at the light cast on my hand, Ayu let a line like that slip. There’d been no particular weight behind it, just an idle thought spoken aloud, but something in it caught at me, and I found myself asking her back.

“How do I put it — to me, everyone around me feels like a shining jewel… you and Hotaru, Hina, Sumire, heck, even Kengo and Yuuya… everyone’s got that natural, many-colored gleam.”
“And you’re not?”
“I’m not. Even if I look like I shine, it’s something manufactured using the cheat of a second life — an easily-worked, made gleam.”
“For that matter, I don’t even think I shine in the first place.”

Or so she says, picking up a blue glass cup, checking the price, and, startled by it, slowly setting it back down. There was no sense of self-pity or self-deprecation in it; she might simply have been stating a fact, in the same everyday manner as when she’d let that earlier line slip.

But for some reason, that attitude of hers… it grated on me terribly.

“…So what — who cares if it’s a made gleam?”
“Gin?”

Those words spilled out of my mouth, and even that much was apparently enough for Ayu to read exactly how I felt right then.

“Ah, of course it’s just a metaphor, okay? Jewels have their own thing, glasswork has its own…”
“I know that. I mean, the fact that you’re rushing to smooth it over means you’re admitting the way you just put it was putting yourself down… that’s how I’m taking it, yeah?”
“That’s not it… it’s just, you looked like you were getting mad, Gin…”
“…Well, I am mad, yeah.”

Because it had sounded like she was saying that she, a “made gleam,” was worth nothing beside everyone around her. Even after everything at the fireworks festival, even with everyone cherishing Ayu each in their own way, she still, unchanged, refuses to see what she means to the people around her.

“Who cares, anyway — even a fake can be this pretty.”
“Hmm… how to say it… going by that metaphor from before, I’m just blending in with everyone, putting on a face that goes, ‘I’m a jewel just like the rest of you, see~.’ If I look like I shine, it’s surely just that the people around me are jewels, so a lookalike like me seems that way too.”
“It’s not like you’re doing it on purpose, and besides, the jewels don’t mind.”
“That’s ‘cause you’re the only one who knows I’m a fake, Gin.”
“You’ve always got a comeback for everything…”
“Everyone thinks differently, y’know. Even if I state what’s a fact to me, how the person hearing it takes it — whether they even believe it in the first place — you can’t know until you ask.”

Then maybe I should just go ahead and out your secret to everyone.

Words like that almost slip out of me. But the only reason I even know is that I forced it out of her, fairly aggressively at that… and it was a secret Ayu never meant to tell a single soul her whole life. To go scattering it around out of my own tantrum, even if I said it and not one person believed a word, would be absolutely, categorically wrong.

“…Fine. So we’re jewels, and you’re glasswork… that’s fine already, whatever.”
“I’m not anything as pretty as this, though.”
“You really do always say one thing too many… hold on a sec.”
“…Gin?”

At random… I pick up two smallish pieces of glasswork shaped like flowers and head for the register. Being on the small side, they’re priced reasonably too; even on my allowance, a pair is well within what I can afford.

“Here. This one’s yours, Ayu.”

A red one and a blue one… I hand Ayu the paper bag with the red one inside. I’d grabbed them at random, so I don’t even know what flowers they’re supposed to be (heck, maybe there’s no particular flower to them at all), but I figured the warm-colored one, the one that felt even a touch brighter, was the better pick for her.

“What’s this?”
“When you get home, you’re to display this in your room without fail. Somewhere it’ll be in your sight every day.”
“Why?”
“You’re a fake piece of glasswork, right? Then… even if it’s a different thing from a jewel, if you look at it every day, eventually you’ll come to think ‘as long as it’s pretty, that’s good enough,’ and you’ll be able to accept yourself too… maybe.”

Because it really is this pretty.

“Like I said, I’m not anything as pretty as—”
“You’re pretty. I know you’re a fake, and I’m the one guaranteeing it.”
“…”

Unable to find any words against what I’d said, Ayu looks away. Even I caught myself wondering if that was too corny, but with this idiot, unless it’s said this bluntly, this head-on, she’ll just wriggle and slip her way out of it.

“…You’ve really started saying some cool things, huh.”
“Is that sarcasm?”
“Why would it be…? I mean, I did think it was a bit of a slick line, sure.”
“Ahaha.”

Right then. You just wait.

…But even as I thought that, Ayu, taking out the glasswork and smiling happily, really did look pretty.

“Honestly, to think you’d become a girl who says pick-up lines like this while I wasn’t looking, Gin — it’s fine ‘cause it’s me, but… big sis is worried you’ll end up sweet-talking some innocent girl and gobbling her right up someday.”
“Who’re you calling big sis… I’m not you, so I wouldn’t do anything like that.”
“Huh, I don’t do stuff like that, do I? …I don’t, right?”
“Who knows.”
“…Well, whatever. Thanks, Gin.”
“You’re welcome.”

The same noisy Ayu as always, and me firing back the same flippant banter as always. Even if it’s a little corny, even if it’s a touch slick, so long as I can take the one approach only I can take, as the single person who knows her secret, and nudge Ayu’s heart even a little toward the better, then that’s enough. Thinking that, I too gaze down at the blue-flower glasswork I’d bought for myself.

◆◆◆

We walk through town under a slanting sun. We’re back in our own neighborhood already, but there’s still a little way to go before home. Lugging bulky bags under a sun that’s still plenty hot is, sure enough, rough going.

“Oh yeah, Hotaru, you said it was a birthday present for your dad — what’d you get?”
“Hm? Nothing special. Played it safe with a tie in a pattern Dad’d probably like… More importantly — did something happen while I was gone?”
“Why?”
“I mean, you both looked kind of happy.”
“…Well, something happy did… happen, I guess.”
“Ehh?! What, what?”
“It’s mine and Gin’s secret~.”
“I just bought Ayu a little piece of glasswork, that’s all.”
“Ah, you’re just gonna come out and say it, huh…”

It’s not really something worth keeping secret, and honestly, coyly hiding it and then getting grilled over it in this heat would be the bigger pain. …Or so I thought, but come to think of it, the moment she got curious it was already too late; a suspicious, smirking face turns my way.

“Then why did you look happy too, Ginko?”
“Because I bought one for myself while I was at it. Anyone gets a little happy buying something pretty, right?”
“…Wait, are they matching?”
“…”

They only differ in color, so I suppose they are matching, if you want to put it that way. She seemed to take my silence as a yes; our senior visibly perked up and started making a fuss.

“Ehh! Aw, matching stuff, so nice! I want something matching with you two as well!”
“Hotaru, you’ve handed me all kinds of stuff going ‘here, take this! It’s matching!’ — that’s plenty already, honestly.”
“Nooo!!”

So full of energy, even in this heat.

It had been a noisy stretch, but the time to wrap it up finally came; here at the fork in the road, we and our senior would part ways.

“Oops, this is as far as I go. If the three of us head out again next, it’ll probably be after summer break’s over, I guess.”
“There’s only a week and a bit left, huh.”
“You two okay on your homework? Though I’m sure you’re fine, Ginko.”
“I’m all set too, thanks to everyone! …It’ll get done as long as I actually keep to the pace, prob’ly~.”
“If it starts looking hopeless, tell me, okay? I’ll put you up at my place, meals and all, and lock you in for a proper study camp.”

This senior’s gone and said the very same thing Hina did at the tail end of the sleepover.

“Byeee!” Our senior waves and heads off, and we wave back to see her go.

Right after we part with our senior, Ayu goes a touch quieter than usual, and a rare, clean-slate sort of silence, with no particular emotion behind it, settles between us.

“It’s almost over, huh. Summer break.”
“Yeah.”

She’d murmured the words with a touch of wistfulness. The sun was starting to slant, and the higurashi cicadas cried on in the distance, nudging the mood along all the more, making the end of summer break something keenly felt.

“Lots happened this year too, huh… we went to the fireworks festival, did a two-night, three-day sleepover with everyone, and then I visited relatives’ places and went to see a planetarium and all~… how about you, Gin?”
“Me, well… for the stuff you weren’t around for, I went to Gramps and Granny’s place… went to eat fancy shaved ice on my big brother’s tab… well, all sorts.”
“I see! Nothing better than us both getting to have fun! ~♫”

In her usual high spirits, Ayu spins around and around, humming a little tune, looking delighted.

“~♪…”

But what had come over her? As if she’d suddenly remembered something, she stops dead, motion and all, and falls silent.

“Hey, Gin.”
“What?”
“I’m thinking… if we go out again, it’s probably just one more time.”
“And?”

Ayu had been walking a little ahead of me, and since she was facing away as she spoke, I couldn’t see what sort of face she was making just then.

“For our last outing — will you go on a date with me?”

My childhood friend turns back to ask me that. On her face is the slightly grown-up smile she shows only to me, the one who knows her secret, and somewhere in it lies something serious.