My Childhood Friend And Festival Prep

According to my childhood friend, “honestly, running a high-school culture festival from the organizing side is something I never once got to do, not even in my past life, so I’m looking forward to it,”

…apparently.

Given that girl’s past life, it wouldn’t be strange for that to be true. But hearing her actually come out and say it makes me realize that even on a second run at life, there’s a fair share of perfectly ordinary experiences still left to have.

And that past-life-toting childhood friend of mine, one Sakura Ayuri? Well…

“Gin, is the red over there on your side?”
“Mm… here you go.”
“Thankee~”

The culture festival was finally down to tomorrow. Most of the prep was already done, and today the whole building bustled with the last finishing touches, decorations and all.

In the thick of it, Ayu and I were finishing up a sign to advertise our jaga-butter stall. Tomorrow the promo team would be parading it around the whole building.

“Man, it’s finally tomorrow, huh — the culture festival.”
“Excited?”
“’Course… hmm…”
“…Ayu?”

I’d expected an instant “Of course!” Instead, Ayu had gone quiet, mulling something over. She’s always been the type to love this kind of festival stuff, so the reaction caught me off guard.

“I mean, sure, I am looking forward to it, but… I’m also kind of nervous, y’know… it’s pretty different from an elementary- or middle-school culture festival, right?”
“Well, all of us making and selling food together like this is a first… and it’s somehow different from a part-time job, too.”

(Normally, wouldn’t a part-time job you do on your own be more nerve-wracking than a culture festival you do with everyone?)

…is what I thought, anyway. But Ayu isn’t normal; she’s a weirdo who claims to be a reincarnator. She’s got part-time-job experience from a past life, so that much she can handle fine, but a culture festival is a first for her. That’s the logic, apparently. Not that I, on my first and only run at life, can really wrap my head around the feeling.

“Okay, done! How about you, Gin?”
“Me… looks like I’ll need a bit longer.”
“Gotcha. Then unworthy little Ayuri, honorary member of the light music club, shall take her leave!”
“Off you go~”

Ayu finished coloring in her side of the sign, set down her marker, and left the classroom, off to Hotaru and the light music club, no doubt, exactly as she’d announced.

Once I finished mine, all that was left was to head home. My part-time job was off both today and tomorrow, so I could get back early and be ready for the festival.

As I kept my hands moving with that in mind, Hina, apparently at loose ends, wandered over.

“Man, Ayu’s really fired up too, huh~.”
“…Yeah… actually, Hina, are you okay with this?”
“Hmm~? With what~?”
“Ayu going in and out over at that place — the light music club — even if it’s just temporary.”
“…”

It was true. Lately Ayu, roped in by Hotaru to help with the festival prep, had been drifting in and out of the very light music club she’d so flatly refused to join.

Why Ayu never joined, I understand well enough; she hates singing in front of strangers. But there was a reason Hotaru never simply steamrolled her into it, and part of that reason was Hina.

“Back in middle school, you’re the one who squared things with the club president over there and made Hotaru promise rules and a deadline for the recruiting, right, Hina? I’d been so sure you did it because you were against her joining.”
“That was because Ayu seemed a little reluctant~… and it was all premised on Hotaru backing off the moment Ayu seriously refused, y’know~. If it’s what Ayu wants, I’ve got no right to say anything~.”
“Hmm… really?”

Hina gave a little twitch. I wasn’t even looking at her face, but Hina, like Ayu, is a childhood friend of mine; after all our years together, I can pick up that much.

“…I’ll admit I had my own selfish motives~. Ayu was reluctant, sure, but only a little — and Hotaru backs off if she’s seriously refused… which, flipped around, means she won’t back off if it’s not a serious refusal, y’know~.”
“…Well, if it weren’t for the rules you set, Hina, she might’ve ended up joining eventually.”

I don’t know exactly where she draws the line in her own head, but it’s not as if Ayu never sings in front of people. On the bus back from the field trip, or at Refrain with nobody but insiders like the regulars around, she’ll sing for an audience under the right conditions, grumbling the whole time. Which is to say: if someone kept at her, earnestly and patiently and seriously and with no deadline attached, there’d be more than enough chance she’d cave and join in the end.

“I did what I did partly out of my own selfishness, wanting to spend our youth together~… which is exactly why, if this became the thing that made her say she wants to join… I wouldn’t be able to say anything.”
“…Well, it’ll be fine, probably. Unlike Hotaru, Ayu’s got no stamina, so juggling her part-time job and a serious light music club is probably impossible.”

Music activities take stamina, or so I hear.

Right on cue, I filled in the last patch of the sign, so I stepped back to take in the whole thing. …Yeah, this’ll do.

“And… that’s a wrap. You already done, Hina?”
“All done~. By the way, Sumire said she’s busy with the literature club, so she’s heading home ahead of us~.”
“Gotcha. Then let’s head home, just the two of us.”

Heading home without Ayu had gotten a little more common lately, though I figured that would go back to normal after today.

◆◆◆

Amid the hubbub, I made my way down the hall, threading between students busy prepping their own attractions.

The familiar hallway, half-dressed in decorations, gave off a special air I wasn’t used to, and it drove home all the more keenly that the culture festival was tomorrow.

“It’s got a real ‘a page out of our youth’ feel~. I bet Ayu would be taking photos.”
“She was literally snapping away like crazy in our own class. Surely she wouldn’t go photographing other classes indiscriminately too…”
“She’d totally go, ‘I’ll just shoot so no people are in frame!’ and then snap furiously at the moments when nobody’s in shot~.”
“Ah… yeah, that tracks.”

For all I knew, she might be off photographing the light music club at practice right now. In her own way, Ayu was surely enjoying this culture festival already, right from the prep stage.

“Are you looking forward to tomorrow’s culture festival, Gin?”
“Hmm… dunno. We’ve all got separate jobs… but we timed our free period to line up with the light music club’s performance, so that part I guess I’m looking forward to.”
“Aren’t you honest~.”
“…Well, once in a while’s fine, isn’t it.”

In exchange for insisting the four of us get our free period at the same time, we’d each agreed to cover shifts wherever we were needed. Sumire and I had landed on cooking, Ayu and Hina on serving and the like. Personally, cooking suits me better anyway, so the assignment was exactly what I’d have picked.

“What about you, Hina?”
“Hmm~, for me it’s… half looking forward to it, half scared… I guess~…”
“Huh… scared, huh… why?”
“Hmm~… how do I put it~…”

At the entrance we swapped into our outdoor shoes and stepped outside. Beyond the building it was all sorts: people prepping for the festival, people who’d broken off their work to chat happily with friends, people heading home like us, each spending their after-school hours however they pleased.

There amid it all, at my question, Hina’s face slowly turned awkward, or rather sheepish, and she started to agonize over whether or not to say it.

“Ah, if you don’t want to say, you don’t have to…”
“…Nn-nn, since you were honest with me, Gin~… maybe I’ll say it too.”

I didn’t think I’d said anything that big a deal. Just how dishonest am I usually taken to be?

“Doing the festival prep up till today made me realize — a festival really is fun, prep and all~.”
“Yeah. All of us talking things over, deciding roles, working together — that wasn’t… half bad, I think.”
“Tomorrow’s the day all our prep pays off. I’m giddy, I can’t wait, I want it to come right now~! is how I feel, but… put the other way, when I think that those fun days end tomorrow… I think I get just a little bit lonely~.”
“…Well, that can’t be helped.”

No matter how fun a time is, it ends someday. Same as you can’t stay a kid forever, you can’t hold on to the same place, the same moment.

“The thing I’m scared of? It’s not the culture festival ending itself.”
“Meaning?”
“…Ayu.”

Hina let the word slip in a murmur. That single word told me exactly what she was afraid of.

“That thing just now, about prep being fun — I’m sure Ayu feels the same way.”
“Well, she has been bringing up the light music club more. ‘So-and-so’s playing is amazing in this way~,’ ‘the president’s guitar is so cool~,’ and stuff like that.”
“Right. And once the festival’s over, Ayu’s involvement with the light music club ends, doesn’t it~… and then I can’t help thinking Ayu might start to miss her time with everyone in the club~…”
“And so Ayu might join up… is that it?”

Hina gave a quiet nod of confirmation.

Back in the classroom I’d waved off the possibility of Ayu joining, telling Hina she didn’t have the stamina to juggle a club and a part-time job. But it wasn’t hard to picture Ayu, once she got serious, buckling down and somehow solving that problem anyway.

And I could understand why she’d end up going that way. Ayu is a reincarnator; she grasps better than any of us that this youth of ours is finite, and she throws everything she has into whatever she wants to do. Hina, even without knowing the reincarnator part, must be able to see the same ending coming, from all our years together.

“In that case… there’s a good way to handle it.”
“…Huh~? What kind?”
“Just come out and say it — that she shouldn’t join.”

I thought back to the sleepover over summer break, to sharing the bath with Ayu. The timing had been bad, sure, but just from that little bit of contact with her, I’d lost my grip on holding myself together and started blurting out pathetic things. And on top of that I’d gone and made Ayu promise something weird. It’s the kind of dark-history moment that still makes me want to thrash around just remembering it.

“…Is it really okay? When Ayu not joining was the result of my ego and all…”
“I mean, why not? You set the rules, Hina, but in the end the one who chose not to join was Ayu. And Hotaru grumbles about it, sure, but she accepted it, didn’t she?”
“But…”
“Oh, for—!”

I grabbed Hina by the shoulders, turned her to face me head-on, and made her look me in the eye. If the eyes speak as much as the mouth, then some things ought to get through just by showing her like this.

“Then! You just have to make her memories more fun than joining ever could be! Make it so that later she’ll think, ‘I’m glad I chose to be with everyone back then instead of joining’!”

It’s a pathetic thing to admit, but part of me keeps that promise from the bath tucked away somewhere precious.

Which is exactly why part of me wants to give Ayu a high-school life where, somewhere down the line, she’ll be glad she made that promise. Because if she is, then even the uncool me from back then might someday manage to become a cool one.

“Kh… agh!! So embarrassing!! Why am I saying such mushy, over-the-top stuff…!”
“…Heh heh. That’s youth for you, Gin~.”
“Was that sarcasm?!”
“Nope, you were cool~. Though you’re no match for Ayu.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever, I don’t even care anymore…”

Doing something so unlike me had worn me out all at once. This kind of thing really ought to be left to Ayu; she’d say it all without a shred of embarrassment.

“Hey, hey~, did you say it, Gin?”
“…Say what?”
“The hard-to-say thing, of course — the kind you just told me to say~.”
“…Secret.”

There’s no way I could tell anyone something that pathetic and lame. This pretty much confirmed as much already, but she’d never get the specifics of what or when, so it was fine.

“I can’t wait~… the culture festival.”
“…Yeah.”

The station was right up ahead. Hina would catch the bus that left from here, and that was where we’d part.

And so, carrying both a giddy anticipation and a small trace of unease, today’s school life came to a close.