45. No, Really, I Mean It

Kairon fixed his gaze on me.

He opened a drawer and laid the scroll I’d brought down beside the one Rose had given me last time, the two of them side by side. With both resting on the same desk, a strange pressure settled over the room.

“With this, you’ve secured the qualifications of both strength and wisdom.”

Kairon rose from his seat, picked up the fountain pen lying on the desk, and began to write.

Scratch, scratch.

In the silence, only the sound of the pen rang out. After a moment he folded the parchment, dripped red wax onto it, and sealed it with the house’s signet.

“Take it.”

On the face of the envelope, written in Kairon’s neat, precise hand, was a single line.

To the Imperial Knight Commander, Seraphina Arne

“It’s an official letter bearing my name, so even the Imperial Court won’t be able to block it carelessly.”

I took the envelope, the corner of my mouth lifting.

“Yes, sir.”

Once she received the letter, Seraphina would come running straightaway.

What kind of face will she make?

I found myself looking forward to the expression Seraphina would wear when she saw how remarkably I’d grown.

“Once you’re ready, send that letter to the Empire.”

Having said his piece, Kairon plunged back into his paperwork. Whether half a year ago or now, nothing about his daily routine seemed to have changed.

So this is the life of the head of the house, huh?

To become the heir meant claiming the seat of the next head of the house. A life of nothing but a chair and a mountain of documents, all day long.

If it were games instead of documents, maybe.

If it were a life of gaming all day instead, then being head of the house might not be so bad either.

…Or so I’d say.

Either way, head of the house was a line of work that felt a world away from me. There couldn’t be a bleaker sweatshop anywhere.

“Then I’ll take my leave.”

Instead of answering, Kairon just nodded. Was he too busy to spare even the time for a reply?

If I ever found myself in real danger of becoming the head of the house, I resolved right then, I’d fob the job off on someone else by hook or by crook.

“Ngh!”

I woke and stretched, and a crisp crack! ran through every joint. It felt absolutely glorious.

Now that I think about it, how long has it been since I slept properly in a bed?

Down in the underground training ground, I’d gritted it out on bare stone for four months. When the stone floor was finally behind me, I’d snatched fitful sleep inside a swaying, jolting carriage.

And the ride back, once Lillian had joined us? How had that gone?

I never imagined Lillian’s sleeping habits would be so brutal.

With her DV lowered, Lillian was a human retriever, plain and simple. Maybe all she ever dreamed about was clinging to someone, because even fast asleep she’d suddenly fling her arms around me and latch on, refusing to let go.

This is the first freedom I’ve had in ages.

So this was how fresh the air of freedom could taste. A plush bed, a warm blanket, and the bliss of being alone. It struck me all over again that I’d really come back.

In real-world time it was only six months, but if you counted the stretch spent inside Lillian’s trauma, I’d been wandering out there for well over two years.

This place really does feel like home now.

Maybe, given enough time, a person just assimilates after all. The “room of Woo Suhan,” that gamer-junkie den where computers and emptied cup-ramen had piled up with no regard for day or night, was slowly fading from memory.

To think a day would come when I’d treat this room, dotted here and there with the blue lion crest of House Arne, as my own.

Even if the core of me is still Woo Suhan.

Would the day ever come when the possession ended and I returned? I had no idea. There’s no telling how things turn out for anyone.

Knock, knock.

In any case, while I was lost in my musings, someone had come calling. Before I could even get out a “come in,” the door swung open.

The figure behind the knock was Elli, transformed now with a short, cropped bob and a loose set of workout clothes.

I frowned, still lying in bed.

“What is it?”

I wasn’t about to let Elli barge in unannounced and just let it slide. Close was close, but some things still needed saying, so I made my voice good and put-out.

“Elli, no matter how close we are, there’s such a thing as privacy. Coming in without my permission is crossing a line.”

“…”

My scolding didn’t faze Elli in the slightest. She just checked the pocket watch strapped to her wrist, indifferent.

“I’m sorry. I’ll be careful from now on.”

There wasn’t a shred of soul in the apology. If anything, she snapped the watch cover shut and pressed me.

“Anyway, you need to go right now. You’re already late.”

“Late for what?”

When Elli threw open the curtains, dazzling sunlight came pouring in.

“From today, you’re restarting the ‘Arden’s Running Crew,’ aren’t you?”
“…What?”
“Don’t tell me you forgot? The group you yourself founded and even gave a name to, Young Master.”

Elli’s voice went steadily harder and drier. She seemed convinced I’d clean forgotten about it.

Truth be told, I had clean forgotten about it, but still.

“No, but it’s my first day back….”
“While you were away, Young Master, we ran every single day without fail. Rain or snow. Whether you were here or not.”
“That last part sounded like it had a bit of a bite to it?”

Elli played innocent.

“You’re imagining things. Anyway, the leader’s back, so you ought to set an example.”
“…”
“Senior Leo’s waiting too, so be out in five minutes.”

Elli walked out without so much as a glance back. I stared blankly at the closed door.

She’d spent the past few months stuck in training with Valerian. Had his personality rubbed off on her?

“There’s a reason they say you end up following your friends wherever they go.”

I sighed and shuffled into my clothes.

“One, two! Keep in step!”
“…”
“Both of you, lift those legs higher! You’ve slowed down!”

Elli ran at the very front, shouting back over her shoulder. Her words were ordinary polite phrasing, but the spirit packed into them belonged unmistakably to a boot-camp drill instructor. And her speed was no joke, either.

Was this how an ordinary maid ran?

That did it. I gritted my teeth and ran, overtaking Elli. Then Elli kicked her speed up again. And so a death race of back-and-forth jockeying dragged on for over an hour.

“All right, that’s it for today.”

In the end, the contest finished neck and neck. I dropped to the ground, gasping. Sweat poured off me by the bucketful.

“Haah… haah….”

Unlike me, Elli swiped her sweat away just once and said,

“You ran fairly well, but I think you’ll need to push a little harder.”

Elli, there’s such a thing as a baseline for a person. It’s that you run well, not that I run poorly. While I was away from the house I worked out and gave it everything too, you know, and hearing you put it like that kind of stings… The words almost burst out of my throat, but I just barely choked them back.

“Well then, I’ll be off now.”

And just as Elli made to dash off somewhere again.

“It’s almost time for breakfast. Where are you going?”
“I’m sorry. I’m out of time.”

Elli stole an anxious glance toward the training grounds.

“It’s almost time for my morning training session with Young Master Valerian. The Young Master overslept today, so it’s already been delayed by ten minutes.”
“…What?”
“If I’m late, Young Master Valerian will scold me. I’ll tell you about it when I’m back! Make sure you eat!”

Without waiting to hear my reply, Elli took off toward the training grounds like a loosed arrow. Watching her back vanish like the wind, I let my mouth fall open.

She was going to morning training with Valerian? That coldly? When I’d only been back a single day?

Elli was slipping out of sight at a tremendous clip.

“…Huh.”

I was floored. I gave Leo a poke where he lay sprawled beside me.

“Hey, what’s the deal with her?”

Leo looked up at me with a face like death, his eyes brimming with deep resentment and woeful complaint.

“…Didn’t I tell you? She’s gone strange.”

Leo heaved a heavy sigh and pushed himself upright.

“This is all your fault, Young Master.”
“I said it back then too — how is that my fault?”
“You being away is the root of it all! If you’d been here, Elli would never have changed!”

Listening to him go on and on, I felt a flicker of irritation.

“Fine, Elli’s changed. But is the old Elli going to come back just because you sit there wallowing in self-pity?”
“I know that too! That’s why I’m trying too, you know!”

The crazy bastard suddenly raised his voice.

“In the old days, I’d have weaseled out of running because I hated it, but now I’m following along without a word of complaint! I go along with whatever Elli wants, and I’m trying to treat her more warmly!”

It wasn’t like he was trying to win me over, but he launched into a full PR pitch aimed at me.

Still, he’s got a bit of a point.

A pang of pity, I suppose you’d call it. Maybe it was just so obvious the old Leo would never have gone this far. Maybe a little sympathy was creeping in.

“That’s exactly the problem.”

But then my thinking flipped again, and I said it flat out. Because I knew that effort doesn’t guarantee results.

“You haven’t changed. You’re just forcing yourself to match Elli’s pace, that’s all.”

I said as much, but even to my eyes it was plain that Leo was putting in the work. I’d been genuinely startled that he’d finished that hell-run all the way to the end without quitting partway.

But quite apart from that, the plain fact was that Leo didn’t even register in Elli’s field of vision.

“If running because Elli says to run is your idea of effort, then you could run for the rest of your life and nothing would change.”

Elli probably didn’t even know Leo was making an effort at all.

If she did, would she be running around in a baggy getup like that?

I looked straight into Leo’s miserable eyes. Honestly, to put it bluntly, whether Leo’s one-sided love ended in tragedy or not was none of my business. To put it even more bluntly, it looked like there was no hope to begin with. Because the way Elli looked at Leo was, to anyone’s eyes, not the look of someone who saw him as a man.

I went to all the trouble of fixing his little sister’s problem — the last thing I want is for him to demonify over a broken heart.

A servant losing his marbles over love trouble was a different story. He wasn’t all that mentally sturdy to begin with, and now he was set to go dark over being love-crazed.

The only reason I was paying attention at all was that Eve had reported this. Because one-sided love becoming the root of a trauma that demonifies him might not be such a laughable notion after all.

Well, one way or another I did take him in under my wing, so I suppose I have to look after his mental state.

Of course, coddling wasn’t my style.

“Elli’s found her own path and she’s running down it. But you? You’re still chasing after Elli’s coattails, going ‘ah, the good old days.’ So how would you ever look like a man in her eyes?”
“…”
“Elli’s already gone way out ahead. If you want to register in her eyes, you don’t chase her — you change first, and get out in front of her. Tear down the very foundation of how you operate, is what I’m saying.”

It was advice about love, but it was also advice about the direction of Leo’s life from here on. Because Leo’s life as it stood now didn’t look healthy.

Leo clamped his mouth shut. My words seemed to have struck a painful nerve, but I didn’t think this alone would change Leo so easily.

Because it’s human nature to make a brief, half-hearted effort, then fall into self-justification that there’s nothing to be done.

Fail, and blame the circumstances; face a challenge, and slap on this reason or that to steer clear of it. The human, as far as I knew it, was a creature more averse to changing than any other species.

Even a beast stakes its own life to hunt down its prey.

Cold as it was, that was the truth.

To truly pour your whole heart into seizing something took a considerable amount of courage.

Sunk in worry, his face dead serious, Leo parted his lips as if he’d made up his mind. But before a single word could leave his mouth, I cut in first.

“You’re not the type to change overnight anyway. Whatever resolution or goal you just came up with — I don’t want to hear it, so don’t say it out loud.”

At my words, the firmly resolved look on his face came undone, and he spoke with a hollow gaze.

“…Where’d you go and learn mind-reading?”
“Just looking at your face tells me everything. And honestly, is there a duller repertoire than a guy with a one-sided crush blabbing about how he’s going to change for a girl? So tacky.”
“Good grief… are you some kind of love doctor, Young Master? Have you ever had a one-sided crush?”
“Me?”

Hm. Well, speaking of yours truly…

“Let’s go. Time to eat.”

The guy who’s never given a single piece of dating advice in his life is the one who’s good at it, you fool.

“Just so you know — it’s not that I couldn’t, it’s that I chose not to.”
“…Sure.”

No, really, I mean it.