37 — Ma Yugyeom (2)

“Right, what did Seonu Jin say when you followed those Miao tribesmen?”

At Ma Yugyeom’s question, Ju Taegyeong stammered in panic as he answered.

“Huh? Well, he said that someday, to enter deeper inside, we must obtain information about that place….”

Then Ma Yugyeom’s expression turned furious as he asked.

“Yes, someday to enter deeper inside—in other words, to strike against the Demonic Sect—it is only natural to obtain information about the jungle. But you, a disciple of the Diancang Sect, who should want to strike the Demonic Sect more than anyone else! Why on earth didn’t you follow them then?!”

Startled by Ma Yugyeom’s sudden anger, Ju Taegyeong could not help but panic.

“Th-that is….”

But Ma Yugyeom’s words did not end there.

Pointing toward the members of the Seventh Squad, he shouted.

“Look at their laughing and chatting faces! Do they look like people bewitched by the Demonic Sect’s soul-stealers?! Are your eyes blind like a dead fish’s?! You dare say Seol Pung has sided with the Demonic Sect’s fiends? Do you even know how many of those fiends he’s slain, and you dare spew such nonsense?!”

Ma Yugyeom disliked Seol Pung, but aside from that, as a martial artist he acknowledged him more than anyone else.

No, perhaps that was precisely why he hated him.

Because Seol Pung, who wasn’t even a disciple of a prestigious orthodox sect, still possessed martial prowess far beyond his own….

And now a snake like Ju Taegyeong dared to slander Seol Pung, whom he recognized, by saying he had sided with the Demonic Sect’s fiends? Rage boiled uncontrollably within him.

“Is it impossible for your head to discern right from wrong?! If you know your own shortcomings, you should strive with all your might to fill them, not attempt to slander others just to satisfy your petty jealousy!”

After shouting to that point, Ma Yugyeom suddenly grabbed Ju Taegyeong by the collar and whispered so only he could hear.

“Ju Taegyeong, do you know when I most keenly feel the agony of realizing that our Diancang Sect has been annihilated?”

At his murderous question, the now pale and trembling Ju Taegyeong stuttered in reply.

“I-I do not know.”

Then with eyes full of killing intent, Ma Yugyeom whispered.

“It is when I find myself unable to cast aside trash like you, simply because you are one of the few disciples our Diancang Sect has left. Truly, it is wretched beyond words.”

Saying this, Ma Yugyeom shoved Ju Taegyeong away and turned his back, striding off.

Yet even as he fumed, he cast a glance toward Seonu Jin and Cheong-yeon, who were locked in a dazzling duel.

Compared to Ju Taegyeong, they shone even brighter, and that made his heart ache all the more.

Ma Yugyeom shook off his squad members and walked alone toward his quarters, brooding.

For the Diancang Sect to rise again, true talents were desperately needed.

Not trash like Ju Taegyeong, but proper talents—people like Seol Pung or Seonu Jin.

But now, the disciples of the Diancang Sect were not only failing to recruit new talents; even the ones who already existed could not unite as one.

That pained Ma Yugyeom deeply.

And he knew better than anyone the reason why.

He sighed heavily as he thought.

“It’s because of me.”

The reason the disciples of the Diancang Sect could not unite was because of Ma Yugyeom himself.

As the self-proclaimed head disciple of the Diancang Sect, he had failed to gain the trust needed to bring all the disciples together.

It was true.

At present, Ma Yugyeom did not have the support of all the disciples of the Diancang Sect.

The biggest reason, of course, was that he was the son of Ma Wonung, the former sect leader who had brought about the sect’s downfall.

But even so, if he had truly been the First Sword of the Diancang Sect, then the other disciples would have had no choice but to acknowledge him.

They would have had to accept him as the inevitable representative of the Diancang Sect.

“But… I couldn’t even achieve that.”

Ma Yugyeom clenched his teeth and fists tight.

Unfortunately, among the disciples of the Diancang Sect, there were at least two who were acknowledged to be superior to him.

They were none other than Sa Gunil, the squad leader of the First Squad, known as the Dragon Sword of Diancang, and Je Wonyoung, the Sword Tiger of Diancang, who belonged to another Flying Dragon Unit.

Of course, even if he was inferior to those two, if only they acknowledged him and followed him, he might have been able to rally the other disciples as well.

But unfortunately for Ma Yugyeom, they did not.

Sa Gunil, by nature, was always solitary and refused to share in Ma Yugyeom’s cause.

And Je Wonyoung outright despised him.

They had been bitter rivals, loathing each other even before the Diancang Sect was annihilated.

Thus, Ma Yugyeom had tried to raise the name of Diancang on his own, earning recognition from the disciples without their help….

But lately, he had come to feel acutely that this would never work.

“Alone… it’s impossible.”

Ma Yugyeom had no choice but to admit his own limits.

To unite them all, he needed at least one of their acknowledgments.

Especially the highest, that of Sa Gunil, the Dragon Sword of Diancang.

So Ma Yugyeom resolved.

If he could revive the Diancang Sect, then it didn’t matter if they acknowledged him or not.

The most important thing was not himself, but his precious sect.

With that thought, Ma Yugyeom turned his steps toward the quarters of the First Squad.

He intended to meet Sa Gunil again.

Sa Gunil was, as always, sitting alone in meditation beneath a tree beside his quarters.

Ma Yugyeom approached him boldly and spoke.

“Gunil, let’s talk.”

Sa Gunil, like Ma Yugyeom, was a disciple born and raised in the Diancang Sect. As they were the same age, they had lived together as friends since childhood without the need to distinguish senior and junior.

Sa Gunil slowly opened his eyes and looked at him.

His gaze seemed to ask what he wanted, without bothering to speak. He looked as though he had no desire to exchange words.

At his cold attitude, Ma Yugyeom let out a deep sigh.

Memories of their childhood suddenly came to mind.

Though their personalities had been very different, they had always been good friends who stuck together.

“Yes, there was such a time.”

At least until Sa Gunil’s father, Elder Sa U-yong, began opposing every action of Ma Yugyeom’s father, Ma Wonil, after he took the position of sect leader.

Ma Wonil, above all, had always prioritized the sect’s material interests, while Elder Sa U-yong emphasized the duties and principles of the orthodox way, and thus they constantly clashed.

Though he was young, Ma Yugyeom had criticized Elder Sa U-yong as nothing more than a dreamer detached from reality.

At least until his own father’s greed led to the downfall of the Diancang Sect.

Ma Yugyeom finally forced himself to speak.

“Gunil, I need your help for the sake of Diancang.”

No one could know how much pride he had to swallow just to utter those words.

For the Ma Yugyeom of the past, it would have been unimaginable.

But Sa Gunil only showed a slight flicker in his eyes, giving no reply. Apparently, this much was not enough.

Taking a deep breath, Ma Yugyeom spoke again.

“Please, Gunil. We cannot let the Diancang Sect collapse like this. If you wish, I will make you sect leader. I will devote all my strength to supporting you. So please, move for the sake of Diancang!”

Now Ma Yugyeom was willing even to abandon his goal of becoming sect leader.

All for the revival of the Diancang Sect.

At this, Sa Gunil looked at him for a moment before slowly speaking.

“You’ve changed a little, Yugyeom.”

At his words, Ma Yugyeom asked urgently, hope in his eyes.

“Then?!”

But Sa Gunil shook his head.

“Sorry, but even if you’ve changed, it’s the same. I have no intention of moving for the revival of Diancang.”

Those words enraged Ma Yugyeom.

“What are you saying?! Not for me, but for the revival of Diancang, and you still refuse to move?! Are you saying you will betray the grace of our sect?!”

Sa Gunil, however, muttered with a strangely forlorn expression.

“The sect’s grace… Yes, I cannot betray the sect’s grace.”

“Then why…?!”

Cutting off Ma Yugyeom’s furious shout, Sa Gunil asked.

“But tell me, Yugyeom—does our Diancang really deserve to rise again?”

“…What?”

Ma Yugyeom was struck speechless, both by the unexpected question and by the look in Sa Gunil’s eyes he had never seen before.

His eyes, heavy with sorrow, looked unbearably sad.

“I have anguished countless times. Of course, how could I possibly turn my back on the sect that was my home and my parents? But no matter how many times I thought it over—tens, hundreds of times—the conclusion was always the same. Diancang does not deserve to rise again.”

At his words, Ma Yugyeom angrily drew his sword.

Clang!

He roared in fury.

“What are you saying?! That our Diancang has no right to rise again?! Explain yourself properly, or I’ll cut you down right here!”

But Sa Gunil simply looked at him sadly and asked.

“Who was it that, coveting treasures that were not theirs, threatened and slaughtered powerless martial artists? Whose terrible greed delivered Yunnan into the hands of the Demonic Sect, driving countless people to their deaths? Tell me, Yugyeom, do you think such a Diancang Sect deserves revival?”

At those words, Ma Yugyeom bit his lip.

But soon he replied.

“That was the mistake of a few misguided leaders, was it not?! How can you deny the existence of the Diancang Sect, a prestigious orthodox pillar with a long history, over a handful of mistakes?!”

Sa Gunil let out a bitter laugh and asked again.

“A handful of mistakes, you say? Then what about you, Yugyeom? As the son of the sect leader who committed those wrongs, can you proclaim before all the martial world Diancang’s sins and apologize? Can you kneel before every innocent person who died because of Diancang’s greed and beg forgiveness?”

At his question, Ma Yugyeom’s face stiffened.

Seeing this, Sa Gunil continued.

“Can you confess that offering Yunnan to the Demonic Sect, and all the countless people who died and are still dying on this front, were all because of Diancang’s greed? If you could do that, then without hesitation I would acknowledge you as sect leader. I would devote everything to the revival of Diancang.”

For Ma Yugyeom, those were words he had longed desperately to hear.

Yet still, he could only swallow his saliva and remain silent.

It was not something easy to answer.

Acknowledging Diancang’s sins was difficult enough, but if the martial world learned that it was because of Diancang’s greed that Yunnan was taken by the Demonic Sect, they might never emotionally allow the sect to revive.

So Ma Yugyeom tried to deny Sa Gunil’s words.

“You’re going too far. How can you say it was all Diancang’s fault? If that’s the case, then all the martial artists who flocked to Yunnan out of greed for treasure are just as guilty! Besides, any apologies can wait until after Diancang has been restored.”

Sa Gunil gave him a bitter smile and said.

“Do you remember, Yugyeom?”

“…Remember what?”

“Your father, Sect Leader Ma Wonil, would always say the same thing to my father when he opposed him, saying his ways strayed from the orthodox path. He said that first Diancang had to become strong, so that in Yunnan it could be a pillar for the orthodox sects. That if a pillar sect like the Nine Great Sects lacked the strength to uphold the orthodox path, then what meaning did the orthodox path have at all?”

Ma Yugyeom remembered as well.

He too had once denounced Sa Gunil’s father as nothing but a narrow-minded dreamer for defying his own father.

Sa Gunil continued with a hollow laugh.

“But look now. Our Diancang Sect, which spurned the orthodox path in pursuit of strength, has lost the strength to protect Yunnan. If being a strong pillar in Yunnan was Diancang’s reason for existence, then now that we lack strength, what reason does Diancang have to exist? To claim the title of prestigious orthodox sect? When in truth we were as greedy as the rest? Were we truly orthodox at all?”

Ma Yugyeom could not answer at once.

He had never expected Sa Gunil to be bearing such burdens of thought.

Nor did he have any grounds to refute him.

Sa Gunil now rose to his feet and said.

“Yugyeom, you resemble your father, Sect Leader Ma Wonil, very much. That is why I…”

He trailed off, gazing at Ma Yugyeom with heavy eyes before turning to leave.

Ma Yugyeom shouted after him, almost raving.

“Don’t act all noble alone, Gunil! You’re a disciple of Diancang too, aren’t you?! Fine, let’s say Diancang committed sins! But so what?! If you turn your back on Diancang because of its sins, does that make it no longer a sin?! You mean to tell me you’ll commit the sin of abandoning your sect, just because of its sins?!”

With a deep sigh, Sa Gunil replied, his back turned.

“I am indeed a disciple of Diancang. So I will devote everything to avenging the sect against the Demonic Sect. But if that revenge is achieved in my lifetime…”

He looked back with heavy eyes and finished.

“…I will cast away everything I received from Diancang. Even if I die by your hand then, I will have no regrets.”

With those words, he left, and Ma Yugyeom could not stop him.

For somehow, he could understand that torment—that he could exact revenge for the sect, but not bring it back to life.

---

Ma Yugyeom returned to his quarters with a heavy heart.

It was true—the Diancang Sect had sinned.

But he had never thought deeply about it.

No—he had deliberately avoided thinking about it.

He had only thought: ‘I am a disciple of Diancang, therefore I must revive it; I am the son of the former sect leader, therefore I must become the next leader.’

But today, Sa Gunil had shaken all of that without mercy.

He let out a deep sigh.

“Huuuu.”

Unlike the other squad leaders, Ma Yugyeom’s quarters were a detached house.

This was partly due to his dislike of living with others, and partly due to his personal affairs.

As he absentmindedly opened the door and entered, he suddenly realized that the door, which should have been locked, was open.

Already burdened with a heavy heart, Ma Yugyeom scowled irritably and opened the door, saying:

“I told you not to visit me privately anymore.”

And there, on his bed, sat a woman demurely.

“Yeogyeong.”

She was Mae Yeogyeong, the vice-squad leader of the Fourth Squad under Ma Yugyeom, and until recently, his lover.

Her eyes shadowed, face gloomy, she hunched as she spoke.

“Squad Leader, please….”

Her voice was desperate, but Ma Yugyeom was unmoved.

With a cold expression, he threw the door open wider and spoke.

“As I said, now we are nothing more than squad leader and vice-squad leader. I’m tired, so I’d prefer you leave my room at once.”

But Mae Yeogyeong, who had come with such a desperate face, could not so easily leave again. She pleaded earnestly.

“If I did something wrong, I’ll fix it, Squad Leader. Please, just give me one more chance.”

Sighing in irritation, Ma Yugyeom forced himself to calm down.

Then he began to soothe her gently.

“Yeogyeong, you did nothing wrong. You were a perfectly good woman. In fact, until I met you, I’d never stayed with anyone for over a year—you know that well, don’t you? It’s just that my heart has cooled. And a heart cooling doesn’t always need a reason. So accept it. The more you cling, the more miserable you’ll become.”

Ma Yugyeom’s words were partly true.

Mae Yeogyeong was indeed attractive and an excellent partner, and for whatever reason, he had been able to stay with her for over a year—unlike the many women before her.

But from the start, Ma Yugyeom had never intended to stay with her until the end. He had always known they would part eventually, and so he had kept her calling him “Squad Leader.”

And now, the inevitable time had simply come.

But the other’s heart could not be the same as Ma Yugyeom’s.

Especially for someone like Mae Yeogyeong, introverted and starved for affection.

At last, she burst into tears, dropped to her knees on the floor, and begged.

“Squad Leader, please. Please don’t abandon me. I’ll do anything you want. So please….”

At her behavior, Ma Yugyeom finally lost his temper.

This kind of clinging response was what he hated most.

Already unsettled, he now gave up trying to console her, turning away as he said.

“Ha! So in the end you’re just another woman sullying my last memory of you. Enough. If you won’t leave, then I will.”

Just as he was about to step out, Mae Yeogyeong sobbed.

“Squad Leader, please… without you, I can’t live anymore. Please don’t….”

At her collapsing, breaking voice, Ma Yugyeom paused with a sigh.

He already knew Mae Yeogyeong was a little emotionally unstable—starved for affection and dependent because of childhood memories of parental abuse.

Unlike Ma Yugyeom, who had dated many women, for Mae Yeogyeong he was her first man.

And the first man she had opened her heart to, despite those childhood scars that made it hard to trust men, was precisely Ma Yugyeom.

So of course she couldn’t accept a change of heart that had no particular reason.

Because he knew her, Ma Yugyeom had kept the relationship going even after his feelings had cooled.

Though in the end, he could no longer endure it.

He took a deep breath and steadied himself.

Pity alone could not sustain a relationship.

He only wished to end it a little more gently.

When he turned back, he saw Mae Yeogyeong, sobbing, trying to undress.

She seemed determined to do anything she could.

With a cold face but a slightly softer tone, Ma Yugyeom spoke.

“Yeogyeong, take this as advice: what you’re doing now only lowers your own worth. You’re a perfectly fine woman. Treasure yourself. Even if it isn’t me, you’ll meet someone else soon enough.”

With that, he turned away again.

For a man who was always decisive when parting with a woman, he felt he had done all he could.

His heart felt unburdened.

Just then—

Mae Yeogyeong cried out again.

“It’s because of Lady Tang, isn’t it?!”

He froze. The words were too unexpected.

He turned back with an incredulous look.

“What did you say?”

Through tears, eyes glinting with venom, Mae Yeogyeong shouted.

“Lady Tang—Tang Yeo-eun! Don’t think I don’t know you love her! Why wouldn’t I know?! No matter how much you look at her, she’ll never come to you! It’s a futile one-sided love!”

Glaring now, eyes slick with anger, Ma Yugyeom spat out his words.

“Your delusions are unbearable, Yeogyeong. It seems you and I can no longer remain in the same squad. It’ll be better if you transfer. After this summit, move to another squad. I’ll inform the chief.”

But after leaving the room with that cold declaration, Ma Yugyeom’s face twisted even more than it had after meeting Sa Gunil.

He ground his teeth.

He had thought he’d never shown a hint—

So how…?

A face flashed in his mind.

A face like a brand that never left his thoughts, not even for a moment.

At first, he’d merely been intrigued by her status as a direct scion of the Tang Clan of Sichuan.

If he could marry her, it might greatly aid the revival of the Diancang Sect.

But unlike other women, she had shown not the slightest interest in him.

So he became competitive.

He hovered deliberately around her and even dated other women as if to show her.

Yet no matter what he did, she never changed.

Always—as ever—she was beautiful, proud, and strong.

Stronger even than he, the Sword Eagle of Diancang.

At some point, he realized his gaze was always drawn to her.

He grew angry.

His pride was wounded; he felt pathetic.

He tried to drive himself into training, berating himself for falling into such feelings when he should be reviving Diancang; he dated other women, one after another, trying to forget.

But nothing erased the name etched into his heart.

If anything, it only grew clearer with time.

Staring up at the darkening evening sky, Ma Yugyeom murmured emptily:

“Damn it….”