Do It. Don’t Waver (1)

“How is it?”

Seok Han-Bin narrowed his brow in disbelief.

“Is it right to offer alcohol to someone who hasn’t even had the coming-of-age rite?”

“So what? There’s no law against kids drinking.”

“That may be, but…”

“Then don’t if you don’t want to.”

Chung Myung popped the cork and downed the liquor in one gulp. The sharp aroma made Seok Han-Bin wince; Chung Myung set the bottle down and shivered.

“Ugh. This is what life is for.”

“…It smells awful, though.”

“What? You’ve never tried alcohol?”

“I’ve tried it, but I don’t really get why people drink.”

“At times like this, you really are a kid.”

Chung Myung snorted a laugh.

Maybe because they shared so many similarities, seeing this different side of him felt oddly new.

A short silence passed. Seok Han-Bin hesitated, not knowing what to say, and Chung Myung looked like he had nothing in particular to say either.

In the end, unable to bear the quiet, Seok Han-Bin spoke first.

“Um.”

“Yes?”

“Why ‘that’?”

Seok Han-Bin spoke without looking at Chung Myung. “That way of addressing you…”

“Call me Master, damn it!”

“…”

“‘That way of addressing you’ what, ‘that’? You damn brat. If I had married earlier I’d have a great-grandchild your age!”

“Not a great-grandchild—you mean a child, right.”

“I said a great-grandchild!”

“What nonsense are you talking about, really…”

Seok Han-Bin’s lips protruded in exasperation. They were having a serious conversation.

“If that’s the case, you might as well call me ‘Taoist sahyung’…”

“No. That’s not it.”

“Why not?”

“Tsk. If it’s not allowed, it’s not allowed. There’s a limit even if the genealogy gets tangled!”

“…Genealogy?”

“There’s such a thing. Kids don’t have to know.”

“Ugh.”

Seok Han-Bin twisted his face in disgust. Was it really right to hold a serious consultation with this man?

“All right, Taoist. Yes. I’ll call you Taoist. Happy now?”

“Yeah.”

“Ugh.”

After a groan, Seok Han-Bin furtively glanced at Chung Myung and then spoke.

“Um… I get that Taoist thinks the Shandong Yu family is special. But I…”

“Who says that?”

“Huh?”

“I said who says that. That I think the Shandong Yu family is special.”

Chung Myung, having put the bottle down, looked at Seok Han-Bin with a sullen expression.

“Isn’t that so?”

“About fifteen days ago I didn’t even remember that such a family existed.”

Seok Han-Bin stared, mouth agape.

“Well, some coincidence brought them back to mind, but if not, I would never have cared in my life.”

“T-That makes sense?”

“Why wouldn’t it?”

“So are you saying you came all the way from distant Shaanxi fifteen days ago to confirm the descendant of a family you didn’t even remember?”

“Yes.”

“…”

“No, why?”

“Because I wanted to?”

Is he truly mad?

Seok Han-Bin was so flabbergasted he gaped without realizing it.

“Then… why are you nagging me to study and live properly? If you have no particular connection, just leave me alone… Aagh!”

Kicked in the butt by Chung Myung, Seok Han-Bin went sprawling forward.

“Why did you hit me! All of a sudden!”

“Tsk tsk. Damn kid, even if you live recklessly, have some decency in your recklessness.”

“…”

Chung Myung clicked his tongue. “A kid whose head hasn’t even dried of blood is living like that—who would just let that slide?”

“Other people seem to just let it be.”

“They don’t just let it be. They keep quiet because they figure you won’t listen anyway. But I never learned to keep my mouth shut like that.”

Seok Han-Bin sighed as he rose. He’d just washed at the water’s edge, but his hands were smeared with dirt.

“So what will you do if I still don’t listen? Beat me until I do?”

“That’s one way. But, well…”

Chung Myung scratched his head with an inscrutable expression. “Won’t I just give up?”

“Huh?”

“If I’ve done as much as I can and it still doesn’t work, there’s nothing to be done. It’s not like you’re wrong. It’s your life anyway.”

Seok Han-Bin looked at him, bewildered. How could every single thing he said sound newly absurd?

“Then why have you done it up till now…?”

“You do what you can. Just because you plan to give up if it fails doesn’t mean you should hold back from the start.”

“Uh… that’s okay?”

“So what are you always… ?”

“Even if someone is that irresponsible…”

Sllllap!

“Aaaah!”

Chung Myung clutched the fist that had struck the back of his head. “You bastard—irresponsible? Irresponsi-i-ble? With what you’ve done so far, does the word ‘irresponsible’ even come out of your mouth? So you’re telling me to hang on to you forever no matter what you do? I might just flip you upside down and throw you in the river.”

“I-I didn’t mean that…”

Seok Han-Bin quickly waved his hands and moved out of reach.

“Tsk. Fine.”

Chung Myung waved his hand as if no explanation were necessary. “Irresponsible, huh—well, that could be so.”

He glanced at the sky for a moment and said, “I was just thinking. How was I back then?”

“…How were you?”

“Not exactly how I was, but how the person who raised me must have been… I thought about that.”

In the end, one has to be in another’s position to truly understand their heart.

Watching Seok Han-Bin, that thought came to him. With what eyes had the past Chung Mun looked at him?

“Well… I don’t know for sure, but I think that man just wanted me to live as I wanted.”

“I don’t quite understand what you mean…”

“He could have, if he chose, crushed me one way or another, but he tried his best not to force me to do something I didn’t want to until the very end.”

If Chung Mun had tried to invoke the Sect leader’s authority to move Chung Myung? No—there wouldn’t even have been a need for the Sect leader’s authority. Chung Myung would never have been able to refuse Chung Mun’s request.

But had Chung Mun ever done that?

Only now did he realize. Chung Mun had never once forced anything on him. He simply hoped he would live rightly. If the war with the Demonic Cult had not broken out, Chung Mun would never have wielded authority over Chung Myung until his dying moment.

“Thinking about that now… it makes it seem funny that I’m telling you what to do.”

“…”

“A family and all that—reviving it could be a good thing. But if you don’t want that, there’s no need to force it. I think… that man would have said that. What’s past is past.”

“…”

“Ah, of course.”

Chung Myung said firmly, “No wrongdoing. If I hear you’re cheating someone again, I’ll come running.”

“How would you even know from Shaanxi?”

“If you think you can avoid the eyes of every beggar, go ahead and try. But don’t get caught. If you do, I’ll strip you naked and hang you on the Jinan city gate.”

Seok Han-Bin grumbled something, but Chung Myung let it go in one ear and out the other.

Chung Myung took another sip. The sharp scent filled his mouth and, oddly, brought back old memories.

“Um… Master.”

“What is it?”

Before that scent deepened, Seok Han-Bin spoke.

“Can I do it?”

“Do what?”

“Um… to restore the family to its former standing.”

“Why? Do you want to?”

“I don’t know.”

“…”

Chung Myung quieted and looked at Seok Han-Bin, who was staring off into the distance.

“Looking back, I don’t think I ever lived consciously as a Yu. I just… remember my father’s repeated instructions from childhood.”

“What did he say?”

“…Abandon the Yu name and live under another surname.”

“…”

“Think of the family as gone. Just take care of yourself; that’s enough. Don’t try to know anything, don’t try to achieve anything.”

Chung Myung’s brow furrowed slightly. It’s not something you’d tell a child. But how could he have known what stories they carried?

“So I thought that would be enough…”

“Hmm.”

Chung Myung shrugged. “If you truly wanted to abandon the Yu surname, you should have left Shandong. You and your father.”

Seok Han-Bin’s face stiffened.

“But you didn’t. Your father might have had reasons, but you had no need to stay in Jinan, did you?”

“…”

Seok Han-Bin couldn’t answer immediately and fell silent. Then Chung Myung snorted a laugh.

“People sometimes don’t even know what they want. Or they do and turn away. Because the path is so hard and painful, it’s easier to tell yourself you never intended to go in the first place than to admit you gave up.”

“…Is that cowardly?”

“No, it’s wise.”

Chung Myung shrugged. “At least there’s no reason for others to blame you. That’s not something to laugh at. But…”

He conjured the face of one person in his mind—someone who shared their surname but was different from them.

“There are… fools in this world who don’t choose that wise option.”

“…”

“Just… that’s how it is.”

Chung Myung grabbed the bottle and stood.

If he said more, the atmosphere would only grow needlessly heavy. A single sentence could carry too much weight for this boy.

“Go have some fun and come home at a reasonable hour. I’ll free up your house soon.”

As Chung Myung turned, Seok Han-Bin’s urgent voice called out.

“Um!”

“Yes?”

Seok Han-Bin closed his eyes.

Abandon your surname and live under another.

His father had clearly told him that. And Seok Han-Bin had followed the instruction because that was what his father wanted.

But he also remembered how sorrowful his father’s eyes had been when he said it.

To be honest, he still didn’t really know. What must his father’s heart have been like to abandon his own roots? If Seok Han-Bin now had to erase the remaining memories of his father, would he feel similarly?

“Just tell me this. Can I really do it?”

“Well. I don’t know.”

“…”

Chung Myung shrugged. “However.”

His eyes hardened. “I don’t think I ever doubted whether I could do it.”

“Really?”

“First, you try. Otherwise you’ll think about it for the rest of your life.”

“And if you fail?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

The child’s resoluteness in that voice silenced Seok Han-Bin’s objections.

“You’ll learn in life. Failure stings, but sometimes there’s something worse than that failure.”

“What’s that…?”

“Not even being allowed to fail.”

“…”

Seok Han-Bin fell silent, as if something had registered in him.

“Just be honest. What do I truly want right now?”

Seok Han-Bin bowed his head and thought for a long time. Then he slowly looked up.

“Then…”

When he met Chung Myung’s gaze again, the hesitation that had clouded him was gone.

“Then… may I try?”

“…”

“If, as you said, I can’t even fail, I might regret it my whole life. No…”

Seok Han-Bin pressed his lips tightly together. “Because I’ll regret it.”

Chung Myung snorted a laugh. “If that’s truly what you want.”

That was his answer. But perhaps it wasn’t his answer alone.

“Do it. Don’t waver.”

Chung Myung’s gaze drifted to the distant sky.

Maybe it’s a bit late.

He wished he had noticed a little earlier—the way those eyes had looked at him when he was young.

Chung Mun sahyung.

For some reason today he wanted to see that face.