What In The World Are You Doing? (4)

Chung Myung cocked his head to the side.

“Who?”

“I mean General Hwang Bo-Ung.”

“Who’s that?”

Jwa Go-Hak twisted his face in contempt.

“Surely you don’t mean you don’t know General Hwang Bo-Ung?”

“……”

“Come now, that can’t be. You live in the Central Plains too, so how could you not know who General Hwang Bo-Ung is?”

Chung Myung smiled and turned to Baek Cheon.

“Sasuk.”

“Hm?”

“Have you heard of him?”

Baek Cheon flinched and nodded for the moment.

“W-well, of course… I’ve heard of him.”

“Oh, really? What was that person’s name again?”

“Uh… Hwang Bo… Was it Hwang Bo-Seok?”

The Mount Hua disciples clicked their tongues in unison, as though they had planned it beforehand.

“There, there he goes again. Pretending to know when he doesn’t.”

“I don’t know why sasuk acts like that. If you don’t know, you don’t know. What’s there to be so embarrassed about?”

Baek Cheon whipped his head around and glared at the Mount Hua disciples.

“And you lot have heard of him?”

“Well…”

“It is a familiar name.”

“I-I know him. Isn’t he from the Hwang Bo Family?”

At this farce flowing as smoothly as water, Jwa Go-Hak covered his face.

These fucking lunatic Taoists.

No matter how Taoists did live by grazing on grass in the mountains, and no matter how being removed from the secular world was considered proof of a true Daoist, still…

“You should at least have heard the name Hwang Bo-Ung!”

“Uh, it’s not useful for getting by in life.”

“And do you know who Chung Mun is?”

“We live in different worlds.”

As Jwa Go-Hak tried to protest with an indescribable expression, Hae Yeon smiled gently and placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Disciple.”

“Yes?”

“It will be faster for you to accept this than to make them understand.”

“……”

“Don’t waste your strength. Explaining it is the secret to keeping your mind at peace.”

“Ah…”

At Hae Yeon’s words—as something of a senior(?) among victims of Mount Hua—Jwa Go-Hak nodded as though he had achieved a great enlightenment.

If you recite sutras into a cow’s ear, it has no choice but to fail to understand. Knowing that, if you continue reciting sutras to the cow, is it the cow’s fault for not understanding, or the fault of the person who stubbornly attempted the impossible?

“Grand General Hwang Bo-Ung. The world calls him the Northern Iron Pillar or the Old Tiger Who Blocks the Road.”

“The iron pillar of the north?”

“The old tiger who cuts off roads?”

Even from those rather self-explanatory nicknames, they could roughly guess what kind of person he was.

“So he’s a general who protects the north?”

“Yes. He commands the northern army, known as the Red Banner Army. His bravery is peerless, so among the generals, the two nicknames are combined and he is called the Fierce Tiger of the North. He is truly an extraordinary man.”

Jo Gul cautiously poked Yoon Jong in the ribs.

“Sahyung, sahyung.”

“Hm? What is it?”

“Um… His name is Hwang Bo-Ung, so why are his nicknames about tigers?”

“……”

“If it’s Ung, shouldn’t it be a bear? Like the Black Bear of the North… or the Old Bear of the North.”

“Please… Please, just shut up. I’m begging you.”

“I’m only asking because I’m curious. Curious.”

“I said I know, so shut up…”

Still unable to let it go, Jo Gul continued muttering, but Jwa Go-Hak desperately ignored him and continued.

“He is a man of such great renown that, if he wished, he could leave the north and come to the central regions at any time. The governors of other provinces would bow their heads at his word. Yet he volunteered to take charge of guarding against the northern enemies and spent his entire life in the north. He is, quite literally, a model soldier.”

“Aha.”

The Mount Hua disciples nodded as if they understood.

But Chung Myung narrowed his eyes at those words.

“So…”

“Hm?”

“That model soldier… is the mastermind behind all this?”

“That is why.”

Jwa Go-Hak clenched his teeth. His expression was a complicated mix of emotions, difficult to define in a single word.

“That is why I thought it made no sense. But didn’t you say it yourself? Once you eliminate the impossible, even if what remains makes no sense, it must be the truth.”

“Hm.”

Jwa Go-Hak turned his head and looked toward where Do Hyeon had disappeared.

“Someone capable of moving an army this size. Someone with enough prestige and ability to lead such a force to Beijing without being stopped. And above all, someone before whom that Affairs head Do-Hyeon would step back and bow his head.”

Everyone’s expressions gradually became more serious.

“No matter how I think about it, there is only one person who fits all these conditions. The Red Banner Army guards the north, and this is Beijing. If they turn their standards this way, there is nothing standing between them and Beijing.”

“…I suppose you’re right.”

“Moreover, the Red Banner Army is the largest military force among any single faction in the Central Plains. They cannot send every soldier south, since they must guard the north, but even a portion of them would be able to consume this quantity of weapons.”

“Hmmm.”

“And above all…”

Jwa Go-Hak once again hardened his expression and bit down hard on his lip.

“Considering Hwang Bo-Ung’s prestige and virtue, even Do-Hyeon, for all his standing in the world, would have no choice but to yield to him. And if you look at it that way, the one remaining suspicion is resolved as well.”

“…The one remaining suspicion?”

“The question of why Do0Hyeon, who is merely a eunuch, would launch a rebellion. Wouldn’t that be explained if someone other than him were to ascend the throne?”

Baek Cheon’s mouth fell wide open.

“S-so what you’re saying is…”

“That’s right.”

Jwa Go-Hak clenched his fist and said,

“General Hwang Bo-Ung, Commander of Liaodong, has joined hands with the Affairs Head Do-Hyeon to usurp the imperial throne!”

“……”

“That is the only explanation that accounts for this entire situation!”

Jwa Go-Hak shouted as though he were vomiting blood. But the response he received was somewhat lukewarm. Flustered by that reaction, Jwa Go-Hak looked from side to side with a bewildered expression.

“D-do you not believe me?”

“No, well. It’s not that we don’t believe you.”

“I’m telling you, it’s certain!”

“Uh, sure. We know. I suppose it is.”

As Chung Myung idly picked at his ear, Jwa Go-Hak stared blankly at him.

“Then why aren’t you surprised?”

“Should I be?”

“General Hwang Bo-Ung may usurp the throne!”

“Let him.”

Chung Myung let out a long yawn and shrugged.

“Besides, I only heard the man’s name for the first time today.”

“……”

“I’ve never even seen the emperor in my life, so what does it matter to me whether that emperor changes or not?”

“What do you mean, it doesn’t matter?”

Baek Cheon suddenly cut in, angrily shouting.

“I hear that when the emperor changes, they usually release a lot of grain to the people.”

“Oh. We should make rice cakes.”

“Right? Haha.”

Jwa Go-Hak’s eyes trembled in confusion.

What the hell are these lunatics talking about?

“H-how can you say something so disloyal?”

“Disloyal, my ass. Since when have Taoists been loyal to the country? We don’t cultivate that sort of thing in the first place.”

“W-well, that is true, but…”

“Damn it. I came thinking something big was happening, but this isn’t even a war or anything. It’s just some guy from the north attacking the imperial palace. Isn’t that all it is?”

“That, that’s all?”

“We wasted our energy for nothing. Right?”

“Exactly.”

“If I’d known this was all it was, I would have gone to wash my feet and get some sleep.”

“Hmm, wait a minute. An army is coming down from the north. Couldn’t this turn into a major civil war if things go badly?”

“A man supposedly as great a commander as him has spent so long preparing this. Do you really think that’ll happen? He’ll wipe them out in an instant, and the country’s name will probably just change.”

“Then, well…”

“‘Then, well,’ my ass! You crazy bastards!”

Jwa Go-Hak shouted with a face that looked ready to die from high blood pressure.

“Is changing the name of a country an ordinary matter?”

“I wouldn’t call it ordinary, but it’s not that big a deal, is it? It’s not like my name is changing.”

“Exactly.”

“Gurk…”

Jwa Go-Hak finally clutched the back of his head and convulsed.

As expected, there was no reasoning with these lunatics. Did they truly not understand what it meant for a nation’s ancestral temple and state to change hands?

“M-monk.”

In despair, Jwa Go-Hak latched onto Hae Yeon, who at least seemed like the most reasonable one among them.

“P-please explain it to them. These bald idiots don’t understand the seriousness of the situation at all.”

“Amitabha.”

Hae Yeon solemnly chanted the Buddha’s name, then spoke with a grave expression.

“Certainly, a country’s name changing is not something to be taken lightly. Even more so when one considers how much blood will be shed in the process.”

“That’s what I’m saying!”

“But…”

“Hm? But?”

Hae Yeon nodded with a solemn expression.

“At first glance, the argument that it might be better for the country’s name to change cleanly than for matters to drag on and lead to civil war does seem to have some merit. To reduce the sacrifices, that might be the better…”

“What the hell is this crazy bald monk babbling about? You devil!”

They were all clearly insane. That man was supposedly from Shaolin, yet what kind of utter nonsense was he spouting? Even if Mount Hua’s influence had rubbed off on him, there had to be limits.

Just as Jwa Go-Hak vowed that, once he became a high-ranking official, he would wipe out that place called Mount Hua in Shaanxi without leaving a single blade of grass, Yoon Jong spoke up.

“There’s something stranger than that.”

“…Pardon?”

“It sounds reasonable at first, but there’s a part that doesn’t make sense when you think about it. You said an army is currently coming to Beijing, didn’t you?”

“Yes. That’s right.”

Jwa Go-Hak nodded. He even looked somewhat moved at the thought that at least one person had been listening seriously to the situation.

“Isn’t it strange? It is already an army, so why would it need this many weapons to march south and attack Beijing? If they are an army, they should already be carrying weapons.”

“……”

“If what was piled up here were provisions or drinking water, I could understand it, but it makes no sense that an armed army would need weapons in order to move. So perhaps this supposition was wrong from the start?”

“Well…”

Jwa Go-Hak’s face reddened slightly.

“The point you mentioned… is actually the biggest reason we suspect the Red Banner Army is behind this.”

“What?”

Yoon Jong asked back with a puzzled expression, as if he had no idea what Jwa Go-Hak meant.

“The Red Banner Army is unquestionably elite. There is probably no army in the entire Central Plains stronger than them. They have fought foreign powers in the north for decades.”

“And?”

Yoon Jong looked at Jwa Go-Hak suspiciously.

“So… No, rather than because of that… anyway… for various reasons… the Red Banner Army’s equipment is woefully inadequate.”

“……”

“It has gotten to the point where it is questionable whether they could even fight a proper battle… So, given their condition, they would need weapons to attack the imperial palace…”

“So…”

At that moment, Chung Myung’s voice, sounding somewhat ominous, pierced Jwa Go-Hak’s ears.

“The elite army of the north that has spent decades fighting and holding back foreign powers…”

“……”

“Has inadequate equipment? To the point that it can’t fight a proper war?”

“Well… That…”

“What kind of ridiculous nonsense is that? Does that make any sense?”

Jwa Go-Hak avoided Chung Myung’s gaze and looked at the distant sky.

“Explain.”

“……”

“Explain it properly. If I can’t accept your explanation, I’ll go straight over to their side.”

“W-what kind of nonsense is that…”

“I said explain!”

Jwa Go-Hak let out a long sigh.

And then a story that might have been a shameful secret began to spill from his lips.