Ishida And Kazumi Right Before The Representative Showdown

This story is not a continuation of the Kakuyomu web novel version of “She Cheated on Me with a Senior, so I’m Cheating on Him with His Girlfriend.”
It is a special short story tied specifically to the printed light novel edition.
Please sit back and enjoy the overall atmosphere!

Lunchtime on the first day university lectures resumed after Golden Week.

Yota Ishida had been summoned to the student affairs office after being told, “There is an irregularity in your registered subjects.”

Ugh, what a massive pain. Well, I suppose it’s my own fault for not meticulously checking the core mandatory classes.

Ishida made his way toward the campus cafeteria for a rather late lunch. His first afternoon lecture had been canceled.

Yuu has undoubtedly finished eating by now. Guess I’ll just have a quiet, solitary meal today.

Ishida guided his steps toward a specific table hidden completely in the shadow of a pillar by the window. It was the absolute perfect spot to dodge everyone’s eyes and sneak a quick midday nap.

Come to think of it, this is the exact spot where I ran into Kazumi-san right before the Christmas party.

Indulging in the memory, he rounded the pillar…

Precisely like a textbook case of déjà vu, a young woman was fast asleep, collapsed face-forward over the table in the exact same posture anchored in his memory. It was the new president of Ishida’s club and Sakurajima Touko’s best friend: Kazumi Kanou.

Oh wow, Kazumi-san beat me to the punch again, huh? Well, too bad. Guess I’ll hunt for another vacant seat.

The exact fraction of a second he prepared to turn away—

“Snort-snork!”

A remarkably loud sound erupted from Kazumi.

W-Wait… was that a literal snore just now? Kazumi-san, are you for real?

Immediately following that blast, she let out a cryptic noise that sounded halfway between a groan and a grunt.

No matter how much everyone calls Kazumi-san a ‘tragic beauty,’ this is crossing a dangerous line.

Ishida seated himself in the chair right next to her and gave her shoulder a firm shake.

“Kazumi-san, Kazumi-san. Wake up.”

“Mmh-wha?…”

Only then did Kazumi finally lift her head. Her eyes completely failed to focus. To top it all off, a distinct trace of drool was visibly smeared near the corner of her mouth. Even Ishida was thoroughly struck blank by the display.

“Kazumi-san, you’re drooling.”

“Huh? Ah, thanks.”

Without showing a single shred of embarrassment, Kazumi casually pulled out a tissue and wiped the area around her mouth.

“Kazumi-san, sleeping with such absolute abandon… aren’t you worried about ruining your makeup?”

“Not particularly. I usually don’t wear anything past a layer of UV-protecting foundation anyway.” As she spoke, Kazumi stuffed the used tissue back into her pocket.

“Even so, shouldn’t you exercise a little more caution regarding your surroundings? A moment ago, your snoring made quite a horrific racket, you know.”

“Did I seriously make such a flamboyant sound?” Kazumi countered, completely unbothered.

“Yes, indeed. It was a loud ‘snort’—it sounded precisely like a hippopotamus breaking the surface of the water to catch its breath.”

“Ishida-kun, have you personally ever stood around to listen to a hippopotamus breathing at the surface of the water?”

Ishida was caught entirely off guard by her logic. “Well, no, it’s not like I’ve physically heard it, but…”

“In that case, your choice of analogy is completely absurd. For all you know, it might have been the cute, delicate breathing of a sleeping hamster.”

“There is absolutely no way a hamster could ever emit a sound like that, I assure you. I’m strictly speaking in terms of the overall image.” With a heavy sigh, Ishida shook his head from side to side. “Honestly, you are the absolute living definition of a ‘tragic beauty’ at this point.”

At that remark, Kazumi’s eyes narrowed into a sharp, dangerous glare.

“You’ve been sitting there spouting off whatever you please—first a hippopotamus, and now a tragic beauty. If you’re looking to pick a fight, I’ll happily take you on at your own valuation.”

“No, that’s not what I meant at all! I’m simply saying that since you are an undeniable beauty, it would be a hundred times better if you paid a bit more attention to how the public views you,” Ishida frantically offered his defense. If he genuinely enraged Kazumi, there was no telling what horrific penalties he would face back at the club.

Kazumi let out a dismissive snort.

“I have absolutely no interest in any man who prioritizes a superficial exterior anyway. Thanks, but no thanks. A person must evaluate what lies within the inner character.”

“But Kazumi-san, if a guy actually gets a glimpse of your inner character, won’t he be far too terrified to ever step within a ten-mile radius of you?”

The exact split second the words left his mouth, Kazumi’s arm ruthlessly whipped around Ishida’s neck, locking his head in an iron grip. A textbook headlock.

“You are a dead man! Execution by decree for the crime of insulting a superior officer!”

“J-Joke! It was an absolute joke, I swear! I am so incredibly sorry! You are so stunningly beautiful that it’s a complete mystery to me why you didn’t join the Miss Muse pageant yourself!”

Hearing his desperate praise, Kazumi finally released her grip on his head.

“Well, since you clearly comprehend that I am a ‘beauty,’ I shall grant you an absolute pardon just this once.”

With that, Kazumi reached out to grab a cold cup of coffee resting on the table beside her.

“Anyway, speaking of the Miss Muse pageant… what is the current situation regarding the anti-fans targeting Touko?”

“We held that club barbecue over Golden Week, remember? Thanks to Yuu masterfully steering the conversations and setup, the direct attacks leveled against Touko-senpai have decreased significantly.”

“Right. Uploading those barbecue snapshots directly onto Touko’s profile page was an absolute stroke of genius.”

“I entirely agree. Plus, there is a massive contingent of girls—starting with Mina-san—who absolutely despise Rindo Akane. Those people have naturally stepped in to act as a fire wall to stomp out any malicious rumors.”

Kazumi nodded, a visible wave of relief washing over her face.

“Touko was actually feeling quite depressed over those toxic comments, you know. While she would never openly voice her pain, it was painfully clear that she was sustaining significant psychological damage. Touko simply isn’t the kind of person who deserves to be showered with raw malice from complete strangers.”

“I explicitly advised Yuu that ‘the finest strategy against anti-fans is absolute non-engagement,’ but I have to admit, he handled the situation remarkably well.”

“Indeed. Ishida-kun, I need you to maintain a vigilant watch over the internet vanguard. The absolute moment any bizarre information or slander starts circulating, report it straight to me.”

With those final instructions, Kazumi drained the remaining dregs of her cold coffee, captured the empty cup in her hand, and stood up from the table.

Watching her retreating figure, Ishida couldn’t help but sigh to himself.

…Seriously, in terms of raw appearance, she is an absolute top-tier beauty second only to Touko-senpai. What a tragic, spectacular waste…