Without You (14)

Waiting endlessly for someone who doesn’t appear, you turn into stone.

For some reason, I started laughing.

What were these past few months for? A self-deprecating laugh escaped because of that thought.

I stood up from my seat.

I had stubbornly waited until morning, but that dragon doesn’t wake up in the morning.

It doesn’t make sense for a dragon who loves to sleep to still be awake by now.

If it was going to appear, it should have already done so. Now is the time to be wandering in dreamland.

I got up from my seat.

I walked toward the opposite side of the lake, away from the lair.

Rurin crouched silently.

The lair is quiet. It’s never been this quiet since El started living here.

But solitude feels good.

That’s what Rurin thought.

Solitude suits her.

But she shook her head immediately.

She hated it.

Yes, she hated it.

She hated it.

Is this solitude going to continue forever?

Even after experiencing it for hundreds of years, Rurin suddenly stood up. But she crouched back down again.

Time passes. Rurin stood up but couldn’t take a step forward. She kept getting up and crouching back down.

Suddenly, El’s smiling face came to mind.

She remembered him fixing the lair while being soaked in the rain.

“Let’s protect it together.”

She recalled the face that had said those words. Watching him repair the lair beside her, Rurin was overwhelmed with emotions she couldn’t understand.

It was warm.

The raindrops were cold, but her heart felt warm. Strange. It was the same warmth she had felt when she was with her mother, but with a new stirring in her heart she hadn’t felt before.

While repairing the lair in the rain, El had said that no matter what kind of dragon, her mother would always be on her side.

Rurin couldn’t take her eyes off him.

This feeling she had now was the same as what she had felt back then. Even when El had briefly disappeared, it felt the same.

No.

It’s different.

If everything was a lie, were the feelings she had felt back then also a lie?

Could it all be a lie?

He said it wasn’t.

El said it wasn’t.

He said he wouldn’t betray her. But then he said the Elder had sent him. Yet he still insisted it wasn’t true.

In fact, she remembered what had happened when she was drunk.

From that moment, Rurin had already accepted El.

But if it had all been a lie, she thought she could never forgive him.

Rurin curled up even more, her posture resembling that of a human fetus, even though she was a dragon.

She spent the night wide awake.

Time passes.

Rurin, who only ever knew sleep, found herself unable to sleep that night.

Just like before, Rurin repeatedly lay down and got back up.

The more she did this, the more she realized how quiet and empty the lair felt.

He said he hadn’t betrayed her.

He said the meaning was different.

The last words El had passionately spoken replayed in her mind.

I hate it.

I’m scared.

The feeling of not wanting to be alone again spread through Rurin’s heart.

“I’ll protect you together with me.

“Because I’m on your side.”

Rurin started running.

But it was already broad daylight outside.

Dragons live for a long time. That’s normal. That’s why they are ignorant of fleeting moments.

Rurin hadn’t even realized that it was already morning.

She arrived at the lakeside.

But El was nowhere to be seen.

She looked around, but there was nothing to be seen. The sunlight reflecting off the lake only created a halo of light in her eyes.

I hate it.

I hate it.

I hate it.

Did I say I liked solitude?

No.

That’s not it.

I hate it.

I hate being alone.

El had taught her.

When she laid her head on El’s stomach and listened to his heartbeat, she had liked it for some reason.

“Why aren’t you here? Where did you go… Where did you go!”

Rurin shouted.

Her voice echoed.

But there was no reply.

Then I’ll return to solitude again. That’s it. After all, he’s a traitor.

He can’t even wait for this.

Thinking that, Rurin clenched her fist tightly.

Another few hundred years will pass.

And as time passes again.

In such futility.

I hate it.

I hate it.

Rurin turned around, thinking she would fly up and find El and blast him with her breath.

“Huh?”

But the moment she turned around, she stepped back in surprise.

Because El was standing there.

“Why?”

“You, you…!”

“I was sleepy, so I thought I’d sleep here where the sunlight is warm. You came? But isn’t it a bit too late? It’s almost noon, not even dawn.”

“…I don’t know. I don’t know about that.”

“Really?”

“Then, who won the bet?”

“I…”

“And you?”

Rurin swallowed her words. She stared at El silently for a moment before opening her mouth again.

“I lost. I hate to admit it, but I lost this bet. A loss is a loss. I can’t help it. That’s how it is!”

“Really? I won?”

“Isn’t that what I said! You bad guy!”

Rurin puffed her chest and raised her hand. El thought that she looked cute.

By the way, isn’t this the first time she’s readily admitted to losing a bet? She had accepted it quietly before, but this is the first time she’s clearly declared, “I lost!”

“Then, are you staying here?”

“Yeah, I plan to stay here for a while.”

“Then that’s settled! But seriously, seriously, you’re not in cahoots with the Elder, right? If you’re lying… I’ll really kill you. Even if I can’t, I’ll try. And if I can’t kill you, I’ll kill myself for being deceived.”

“Don’t kill anyone, you fool. I told you, I’m not. Why would I team up with such a boring old man?”

El crouched down, meeting Rurin at eye level.

“I’m on your side. Not the Elder’s. When we get back to the lair, I’ll tell you all about what happened with the Dragon Lord.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, then. But…there’s one more thing I want to ask.”

“What is it?”

“Will you always be on my side?”

“Yeah, always.”

“Even if I eat all your food?”

“Huh? Well, that’s a bit…”

“You’re lying! Right now!”

“No, no…fine, let’s just say yes. I’m always on your side.”

“And that means…forever?”

“Yeah, I’m on your side. Forever.”

“Really? You’re such an idiot.”

“You asked, and now you’re calling me an idiot.”

“Let’s hurry back to the lair! I’m suddenly sleepy.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Hurry up, dear!”

Rurin said that and walked ahead, her black hair fluttering. But El realized something felt strange.

Something was seriously off.

He frowned slightly before realizing it.

It wasn’t “you” or “you fool,” it was “dear”.

Rurin had called him dear.

“Rurin.”

“Why, Mom?”

The little dragon asked back while nestled in the arms of a large dragon. The large dragon looked at the small one with eyes full of love.

“You’ll find someone to pair with too, right?”

“A pair?”

“That’s right. Like your father and I.”

“I don’t really know.”

“Is that so? Heh. I used to call your father dear.”

“Dear?”

“I wonder what our Rurin will call her partner.”

“I’ll call them the same as you do, Mom.”

“Really? You’re definitely my daughter.”

“Yes!”

The little dragon nodded vigorously. From that moment, the little dragon thought:

Mom is the best in the world.

So, she would do the same as her mom.

Of course, many events happened after that. They got caught up in the Dragon War, their lair was destroyed, and after spending time with a devastated Rurin, they got deeply involved in the war.

The Elder had asked for help to ensure the survival of the Black Dragons.

They went to the Capital and got caught up in the war again. There are countless more stories involving Rurin.

But Rurin probably began to open her heart at the lakeside, the first time she called me dear.

However, she didn’t smile for a long time after that.

The shadows and darkness in Rurin’s heart hadn’t allowed her to smile until then.

I witnessed her first smile in another event, though.

Hmph.

Anyway, I’ll be back soon.

I placed the note back where it belonged.

Where was she planning to go?

As I recalled the old days, memories of how much I struggled to win her heart resurfaced, and I felt a bit mischievous.

I lightly poked Rurin’s cheek, then dashed out of the restaurant.

She would probably get up right away.

Rurin hates it when anyone touches her.

She used to hate it when I touched her too.

Telling me not to touch her was practically her catchphrase.

Of course, now I’m the only one who’s allowed. She actually enjoys physical contact now. Many things have changed over the years.

Anyway, I ran out of the restaurant and hid nearby.

Soon, I felt Rurin’s mana disappear.

Her mana faded into the distance. I shrugged. So, this is what it’s like?

She’s annoyed because I kept leaving her alone.

So, she wants me to feel annoyed too?

I went back into the restaurant. Only the note remained on the table.

Right, if I had seen this note without knowing anything, I might have been a little worried.

Like the time she rejected my kiss.

And a little later.

“Ta-da!”

Rurin appeared, shouting cheerfully.

So, if I waver here, does that mean I lose?

“Moving around since morning has been tiring. What are you up to?”

I pretended to yawn and stretched.

What’s this?

Then, to my surprise, Rurin’s eyes welled up with tears. It’s really rare for her to get teary-eyed.

Is this something to get that emotional about? I was confused and asked her.

“What’s wrong, Rurin?”

“Wh-what do you mean!”

“What?”

“Wh-what…! How can you be so calm? How can you!”

“Hmm?”

What is she talking about? For now, I hugged her. Since she was shaking, I couldn’t just leave her like that.

“Why are you crying?”

“I-I’m not crying. I’m a dragon! Dragons don’t cry.”

“Crying has nothing to do with being a dragon, but do you know something, Rurin?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know! I’m mad right now, and hugging me won’t change that.”

“Really? Well, okay then.”

I released her from my embrace and turned away.

The ring hasn’t been made yet, so I can’t give it to her. But the reason she’s reacting like this…

Is it because of my reaction?

Because I wasn’t really surprised when she disappeared?

She’s crying because of that?

“You? What’s wrong with you? Nothing’s wrong! I told you I’m mad!”

Rurin stepped closer, raising her eyebrows at me again.

I hugged her again.

If that’s the case, I’ll let her win. There’s nothing to gain by winning this argument.

While hugging her, I whispered softly.

“If you really disappeared, it would be bad. If you were really gone, not just messing around like before… I might destroy the world. Out of anger.”

“Wh-what?”

Rurin, who had been squirming in my arms, froze in place.

Honestly, I could just give her the ring right now and be done with it.

But those damn dwarves. Actually, it’s not really their fault – making a ring in one day is impossible, after all.

“H-huh?”

And then, I kissed Rurin’s lips. Thankfully, her anger seemed to have subsided, as she wrapped her arms around me tightly.

The dragon who once seemed hell-bent on killing me was now here, by my side.

“I-I-I too! If you disappear, I’ll destroy the world! A world that hides you should be destroyed!”

“Really? Well, at least try looking for me before destroying the world.”

“Is that so? I’ll think about it.”

As I pulled away from her lips, Rurin smiled brightly.

The tearful expression on her face had vanished completely.