Second Month (4)

“That’s not the problem.”

Reichardt muttered as he alternated glances between the warm fireplace and Alicia’s sleeping face.

He prided himself on his self-control.

But the pain he endured under the rising of the second moon, Rua, far exceeded the limits of his endurance.

When he held Alicia Rain’s hand, the pain disappeared.

Just her touch alone banished the agony.

He didn’t know how such a thing was possible, but he didn’t have the energy to wonder.

Reichardt wasn’t foolish enough to flail about in pain when he knew what would make it stop.

It was the same on the day he first met Alicia.

When her hand touched him, the insect-like noise stabbing through his head vanished as if washed away.

At this point, he had no choice but to admit it.

A savior sent from the heavens.

Reichardt carefully brought his hand to Alicia’s sleeping face.

Her brows twitched slightly in response.

Her defenseless lips parted faintly as if about to speak, then closed again.

Reichardt hastily pulled back his hand and steadied his breath.

He tried not to sigh at his clueless heart thudding painfully in his chest.

Turning his face toward the backrest, he pretended not to notice their clasped hands.

Even in such an urgent situation, he couldn’t bring himself to let go of her hand—it was laughable.

But his private charade didn’t last long.

Before long, Alicia stirred awake.

As she rubbed her face, she suddenly realized she had let go of Reichardt’s hand and gasped in alarm.

Still drowsy, she rubbed her eyes and groped around for the hand she had lost.

When her desperate hand brushed along his side, he let it be, but as it neared his thigh, he couldn’t stay still.

Reichardt gently caught her wandering hand.

“It’s all right to let go for a bit. Are you awake?”

“Oh, Your Grace. You’re awake. How are you feeling?”

Still not fully awake, Alicia seemed dazed.

As Reichardt sat up, he helped Alicia—still on the floor—up onto the seat beside him.

Alicia moved without thinking.

Even then, neither let go of the other’s hand.

“Isn’t the floor uncomfortable?”

Reichardt looked down at the carpeted floor with disapproval.

“It’s fine.”

Alicia gave a small laugh.

When she’d been in hell, she’d slept just fine on bare earth or between rocks.

As she laughed casually, Alicia suddenly realized how close she and Reichardt were sitting.

His dazzling face, pale with illness, seemed especially radiant today.

The blank expression on his face, coupled with how intensely he was watching her, made it hard to look away.

Though expressionless, emotions like embarrassment, awkwardness, discomfort, shyness, and bashfulness all flickered across his face.

The way he held her hand—paying full attention to it while pretending not to care—was the same.

It was almost shocking that someone so seemingly indifferent to the world could be so flustered by something as small as holding hands.

Alicia realized something was off when Reichardt, who was much larger than her, began to look oddly cute.

He was a royal, born noble and likely raised with nothing but deference.

To pity him, to feel sympathy or sorrow for him—those were the wrong emotions.

Yet even his curt, hesitant demeanor seemed pitiable.

His hesitating, expressionless face stirred her heart.

“Alicia.”

After a long silence, Reichardt unexpectedly spoke.

Alicia, having waited, turned her gaze to him.

“Yes.”

“I know I must look strange right now.”

Reichardt spoke with a lighter expression than usual.

Alicia hesitated for a moment, then slowly shook her head.

“No, Your Grace. Rather than strange, I’m just curious. Will you tell me?”

At her words, the awkwardness returned to Reichardt’s face.

Alicia gave him a generous, understanding look, as if to say she comprehended his struggles.

“Alicia. Please don’t let anyone know that you understand what I’m about to say. Promise me.”

“I promise.”

She answered without hesitation.

“I don’t know where to start. I can’t explain the root cause, nor do I fully understand it. All I know is the result. I am ‘bound’ to Tessen.”

“To Tessen…?”

“If I leave Tessen, I cannot survive.”

Reichardt’s words came disjointedly, like a warning.

Alicia found it hard to immediately grasp what he meant.

“Sorry?”

She had seen him outside of Tessen just fine before.

“When I leave Tessen, I suffer the pain of having my brain eaten by insects. Not literal insects, of course—I don’t know if it’s a curse or something else. But when the pain gets severe, that’s what it feels like.”

“Back then…”

Alicia’s face turned pale.

“The first time we met, it flared up suddenly, right? It’s usually not that bad. I just hear the annoying sound of something gnawing away inside.”

Reichardt spoke as if it were someone else’s problem.

Even a single buzzing insect could drive a person mad.

“……”

Alicia couldn’t begin to imagine what it must feel like to have bugs swarming in one’s head.

“What’s truly painful is right now.”

“Right now?”

“When the second moon, Rua, rises… I don’t know how to describe it. Simply put, it feels like I’m dying. It’s the pain of burning alive, being stabbed, crushed by a giant force, wrung out like a rag. It’s an illness, but not one any doctor can cure.”

“Not curable…”

“If I leave Tessen while Rua is in the sky, the pain intensifies to a lethal degree. I’ve never attempted it—so I’m not sure—but even inside Tessen, the pain is so unbearable I couldn’t dare try.”

As he finished, Reichardt gave a faint smile of relief.

But this wasn’t a situation where smiling made sense.

“Your Grace.”

“No need for that face. I’ve just encountered someone extraordinary.”

Reichardt smiled.

It was the brightest expression Alicia had seen from him.

A pure, unguarded smile—it was hard to look away.

“And who would that be?”

Alicia’s violet eyes trembled anxiously.

From the way the conversation was going, it seemed he meant her.

She couldn’t understand how she had become such a person, and she didn’t believe it.

‘Could that be me?’

Alicia’s expression said it all.

“Alicia.”

Reichardt called her name with that same smile.

He had simply spoken her name.

But it felt like an answer to her question.

“Yes.”

Her violet eyes were still searching.

“When you offered me a deal, I accepted it. Now, I hope you’ll accept one from me as well.”

“A… deal?”

Instead of replying, Alicia stared at him, her gaze sharp with suspicion at such an unexpected proposal.

“Please hold my hand whenever I’m in pain in Tessen. Excluding the imperial title, I will grant Lady Alicia anything you desire. I don’t really care about anything else except the throne and the position of empress—fighting the imperial family would be a hassle.”

Reichardt spoke lightly.

Perhaps because he was born into royalty, he seemed to regard dukes and nobles as if they were mere pebbles by the roadside.

“All I have to do is hold your hand?”

Alicia responded with a slightly dazed expression.

“Yes.”

Reichardt answered dutifully.

“…Every time I hold your hand, I get to ask for something? Or is it a one-time deal?”

Still a bit dazed, Alicia carefully reviewed the terms.

After all, the conditions were everything in a deal.

“We should discuss and decide together depending on the scale.”

Reichardt’s expression remained calm.

In contrast, Alicia’s face was full of disbelief.

“All I have to do is hold your hand…”

“That’s more than enough. Since we’re already holding hands, tell me if you want anything.”

“The aquamarine set in the Lilizet Villa?”

Alicia asked uncertainly.

“For something like that, I’d have to give you a reward every time you hold my hand. Also, the aquamarine set at the villa is already yours. If you want permanent ownership, I’ll draw up a transfer certificate.”

“That level of…”

Alicia pouted at the man’s arrogant response.

“However, there is one more condition to this deal.”

Alicia, hearing the belated addition, muttered internally, Of course there is.

“What is it?”

Reichardt was more serious than ever.

“No one must know that holding your hand relieves my pain. Especially not the emperor or the direct bloodline of the imperial family. Ideally, even you shouldn’t know, for the sake of secrecy—but that would mean deceiving you, and I can’t do that.”

It was a startling statement.

“My touch relieves your pain?”

“Yes. All of it.”

Her violet eyes widened in astonishment and stared at Reichardt.

“Why can’t the imperial family find out?”

“Because if they do, they’ll make you the Grand Duchess of Tessen by tomorrow.”

Alicia shook off her surprise and looked at him.

There was something odd about what he said.

“Your Grace.”

Reichardt had spoken as if he didn’t intend to marry her.

“I want this deal to last a long time.”

“Just the deal?”

“Don’t marry me, Alicia.”

Reichardt Tessen whispered with his elegant face.

The same man who had just moments ago seemed afraid of letting go of her hand now spoke as if he had nothing to lose.

This, more than anything, was deceit.

The large hand that had overlapped with Alicia’s slipped away gently.

“Your Grace, your hand…”

Alicia reached to take his hand again.

Reichardt shook his head and stood up.

“It’s fine for a little while. Please stay a bit longer today since you’re here to visit the sick. Say you’re here to help care for me. I’ve never let anyone else come, so you don’t have to worry about being seen.”

Reichardt turned away with a breezy expression.

There wasn’t the slightest trace of regret or hesitation.

Alicia’s hand, which had been groping in the air for his, returned awkwardly to her side.

“……”

She sat there, stunned, as if struck on the back of the head.

It was absurd.

An odd sense of defeat rose up, leaving her feeling inexplicably offended.

This was ridiculous.

Alicia wanted to shout.

Who was it begging to hold hands last night?

She wanted to mock him and throw it back in his face, but saying that to someone who was ill felt petty.

She didn’t want to be a small-minded person.

But the fury boiling up inside her couldn’t be stopped.

“What… what the hell…”

The deep voice that had softly rung in her ears still echoed vividly.

‘Don’t marry me, Alicia.’

It wasn’t as though Alicia had particularly liked the Grand Duke, fallen for him at first sight, or been in love with him.

Yet Reichardt’s words felt like a rejection from a man she’d never even confessed to.

Perhaps because they were engaged, she had vaguely assumed they’d live as a business-like couple—so the shock hit harder.

A rejection was unpleasant no matter what.

What made his refusal even worse was that it had been both firm and gentle at once.