Confession (10)

The most despairing part was that there was nothing she could do.

All she could do was sit beside the bed, clutching his cold hand tightly.

Alicia looked down at her own hand grasping his large one.

Then, she remembered Reichardt kissing the back of her hand.

Suddenly, she recalled how she had embraced him in Tessen.

What had it been like then…?

When they held each other, did the aftereffects of his pain seem to lessen?

And then, the confession came to mind.

‘Alicia.’

A low voice had called her name.

‘I like you.’

Her heart had thudded like it would burst, and all she could manage was a short reply. He had confessed.

“……”

Alicia carefully brought the cold hand to her lips.

Once, twice, three times—she pressed her lips briefly to the back of his hand.

Reichardt, who had been trembling as though writhing in pain, began to improve rapidly.

She thought it was just her imagination, but after a long breath escaped his once-quivering face, she saw color returning to it.

“Your Highness?”

Alicia gently touched Reichardt’s forehead with her hand.

His once-feverish face had calmed considerably.

She deeply pressed her lips to the hand she was holding.

Then, belatedly, she looked around the empty room and let out an awkward hum.

She examined his hand, pretending to check for injuries, and stole glances at his closed eyes.

It was all for treatment.

Alicia nodded silently, defending herself.

She had not a shred of impure intention.

She had only done it out of concern for someone who was suffering.

She touched his now-cooled forehead and cheeks, and felt relieved that the hand she held was far warmer than before.

“Thank goodness.”

Like a fool, she spoke to someone unconscious from excruciating pain.

She had feared his condition would worsen again, but now she allowed herself a quiet, bashful smile.

It was thanks to that moment of relief.

‘Alicia, I like you.’

The faint whisper echoed in her now-peaceful mind.

Maybe she’d misheard it in the chaos earlier.

‘I like you.’

But the voice kept circling in her mind, making her lips twitch involuntarily.

Her heart pounded recklessly.

She might have misheard, but Alicia realized it the moment she heard that confession.

No—she had already faintly acknowledged it the moment Reichardt approached her today and spoke so warmly.

She liked Reichardt.

That’s why she’d been upset when he asked what he should give her in return for holding his hand.

She’d felt down when she heard he was going to meet the viscountess who had once been rumored to have an affair with him.

She had felt uneasy thinking he might have a mistress.

He was supposed to be just a business partner.

Alicia had proposed a deal to Reichardt, and he accepted.

Then Reichardt offered her a deal, and she accepted.

They were bound together through mutual agreements.

As long as the deals were fulfilled faithfully, there should be no issues, no discord.

But even small matters concerning Reichardt stirred her emotions and unsettled her.

Alicia had pondered over this feeling for a long time, trying to frame it as a hypothesis.

Could she be deluding herself, thinking of someone she considered just a business partner in a romantic light?

It seemed too unrealistic, so she kept doubting herself.

Even now, Alicia wasn’t sure.

She knew she liked Reichardt.

But she had no idea when she started liking him.

She understood that she liked him, but she didn’t know why.

“This is strange.”

Liking someone felt strange.

Dawn broke, casting a pale blue light.

Unlike his last memory, Reichardt opened his eyes in peace and let out a soft breath, puzzled.

He saw a familiar ceiling through his open eyes.

He was in his bedroom in Baden.

Reichardt, now fully awake, smiled briefly at the unfamiliar calm… then his expression stiffened.

In his hand was the warm, soft hand of someone else.

Only then did he realize something was wrong—his mind, which always echoed with an unpleasant noise, was now quiet.

When he turned to the side, he saw a sleeping face resting by the bed.

“Alicia…”

His cracked voice broke the silence.

Even though it was a small whisper, Alicia heard it and awoke.

“Your Highness, you’re awake?”

Her drowsy face turned toward Reichardt.

“……Why are you here?”

Reichardt asked with a cold, frozen expression.

Alicia’s face, still groggy from sleep, became awkward.

Reichardt knew the answer.

Yesterday, he had collapsed.

The agonizing pain from his Rua cycle had struck suddenly outside of Tessen.

Alicia had likely stayed by his side out of concern.

“Don’t you remember what happened yesterday?”

Alicia spoke calmly, despite his hardened expression.

He was, after all, a patient.

“I remember.”

Reichardt replied, his face icy.

His chilly response made the atmosphere turn frigid.

His furrowed brows slowly eased.

But Alicia could still sense no warmth in those amber eyes.

“I wanted to help you, Your Highness.”

“I know. I do. But… do you not remember what I told you? That no one can know holding my hand alleviates my pain. Especially not the Emperor…”

Reichardt’s cold and firm voice betrayed a surge of intense emotion.

“Why not?”

Alicia asked bluntly.

She had already asked him this once before.

“Because I might make you my bride as soon as tomorrow.”

“I’m your fiancée. That means I’ll become your bride eventually.”

Alicia stepped forward with sincerity.

Reichardt looked at her and said,

“I will not marry you.”

He didn’t just say it—he declared it.

The words struck her like a blow to the ear.

There was no hesitation in his face.

He stated it without the slightest pause.

She had half expected it, but hearing it directly was far more painful than imagined.

At that moment, Alicia felt as though she had been stabbed.

“Why?”

Still, Alicia didn’t retreat.

“Because I like you.”

Reichardt spoke to Alicia, whose eyes were reddening.

It was a contradictory confession.

Alicia had just begun to think she must have misheard what he said yesterday.

“…What?”

The face that had declared his love like a declaration of war didn’t look away from her.

“I will not marry Alicia Rain. Because I like her.”

Reichardt’s long-frozen expression twisted in frustration.

“What kind of… nonsense is that?”

Alicia’s face became equally distraught.

“I hadn’t planned to confess.”

“Then you should’ve kept it to yourself!”

“But feelings can’t be hidden. I tried, but when the pain struck outside of Tessen yesterday, I thought I’d never see you again. I truly believed I would die in that moment. So I lost control for a bit… Anyway, I’m not going to marry you.”

Reichardt spat out the unpleasant resolution again.

“You’re my fiancé…!”

Alicia shouted.

“You must not marry me, Alicia. I will not marry you. Because I like you.”

“What…?”

“Don’t marry me—date me. I know it’s selfish, but we mustn’t get married. Please go out with me.”

The more Reichardt spoke, the more Alicia’s face contorted.

The more he said, the more absurd it became.

“Date you? For how long? Forever, just dating? You want us to date for life but never marry?”

“Yes. Let’s not marry, and just date.”

Alicia was being confessed to.

But with every added word, it only became more devastating.

“Date forever? And how is that different from being a mistress? What, do you have someone else you need to place as your official duchess instead of me?”

“There’s no such person.”

“Then why do you only want to date?!”

Reichardt answered Alicia’s fury with another confession.

“I like you.”

Alicia shook her head.

“I hate this. I am your legitimate fiancée…”

“I will not marry you.”

They were just repeating the same lines.

At Reichardt’s declaration, Alicia’s tears fell in a rush.

“……”

Reichardt faltered when Alicia, who had calmly endured his bizarre reasoning, suddenly burst into tears.

“Alicia?”

“When I wrote you a letter anonymously. When we first met, you already knew about me, didn’t you? You must have investigated me before coming to meet me. Isn’t that right?”

“Yes, I did.”

“Then you must also know about my origins.”

“I do.”

Reichardt answered calmly.

Then—smack! A sharp sound rang out as Reichardt’s face turned to the side.

Alicia forgot the crime of striking a royal.

“You only think about yourself. Even knowing everything about me, even knowing what disgrace I’d suffer if I remained forever the fiancée of the Grand Duke of Tessen, you still tell me to be your lover, not your wife…”

Tears streamed endlessly down Alicia’s cheek.

“Alicia.”

Reichardt turned to her, his head spinning.

“They kept me alive because I was the first daughter born to the marquessate in 200 years, but I doubt you care what people say behind my back.”

“Alicia, that’s not…”

“I know. You also endure all sorts of ridiculous rumors. So I should just ignore the nonsense, too. But just because you’re being selfish doesn’t mean I have to go along with it.”

As Alicia spoke, tears continued to fall from her face.

Reichardt didn’t know what to do with her crying expression.

“S-sorry. Alicia, don’t cry.”

Alicia pushed away the hand that tried to wipe her tears.

“There must be a real reason you don’t want to marry me, even though you say you like me.”

At that, Reichardt froze.

It was as if he had forgotten how to breathe for a moment.

“……”

The vague expression on Reichardt’s face vanished instantly.

“What could it be?”

“If you hear it, you’ll never be able to leave me for the rest of my life. Don’t say it. If you hear it and try to run, I won’t be able to let you go.”

“You’re a coward. You’re not saying it because you think I’ll run away. That’s how little you like me.”

Alicia wiped away her tears with the back of her hand.

The twisted smile on her lips was full of scorn.

“Yes, I am a coward. If it were me, I’d run away even if it killed me the moment I heard it.”

Reichardt said, unable to hide his self-loathing.

Only after wiping away all her tears could Alicia suppress the anger that had flared up.

She now felt sure that her hypothesis was probably correct.

If it was, then Reichardt’s words and actions made sense.

Even so, seeing that face politely delivering nonsense filled her with unbearable fury.

It would’ve been better if she hadn’t liked him.