Chapter 2-12

His head hurt. So did his chest. It seemed he liked Xuelan far more than he had thought. For three days, he had not said a single word to her. Even when she came to see Bai Shixuan, he silently continued chopping firewood. He did not spare her a single glance, and even when she brought him food, he refused it.

“Shixuan.”

When his work was nearly finished, Xuelan came to see Bai Shixuan again. Bai Shixuan glanced at Xuelan, who was looking at him with sorrowful eyes, then resumed chopping firewood.

“I’m sorry.”

“…….”

After watching Xuelan bow her head and apologize, Shixuan stacked the firewood to one side, then quietly walked past her as she remained there with her head lowered.

‘It’s such a trivial thing…….’

Should he tell her right now that it was all right? He felt incredibly foolish for acting like this. In any case, Xuelan and Bai Shixuan had not even been in a relationship before. They had only finally become lovers three days ago, and perhaps she simply had not had the opportunity to tell him about her martial arts. Yet like a fool, he was behaving in such a petty, unmanly way.

‘Should I apologize first tomorrow?’

He could no longer bear to see Xuelan looking so sad. Tomorrow, he would apologize first.
As Bai Shixuan headed toward the lodging with that thought in mind, someone stepped in front of him and blocked his path. Bai Shixuan, who had been lost in thought while staring at the ground, raised his head and saw Choryeong looking at him.

“Let’s talk.”

“All right.”

Bai Shixuan nodded at Choryeong’s words, and she began leading him somewhere. The two stopped beside a wall where no one else was around. Choryeong, who had called Bai Shixuan over, was the first to speak.

“How are things going with Xuelan?”

As expected, it was about Xuelan. Bai Shixuan had already suspected to some extent that Choryeong wanted to speak about her, but he had not expected her to be so direct.

“Yes… No.”

Bai Shixuan began by nodding, then shook his head again. He could not exactly say things were going well.

“I heard that you and Xuelan became lovers.”

“Yes.”

“And that she used martial arts in front of you, and you became very angry……”

So she had told her everything. But he was not particularly angry about that. Choryeong deserved to know. She had always helped the two of them grow closer.

“Are you angry because she deceived you?”

“That’s part of it. When I couldn’t cultivate internal energy and was training my body instead, I wondered how much she must have laughed at me inside. I also get angry wondering why she kept it secret from me.”

“You know better than anyone that she never laughed at you.”

Shixuan nodded at Choryeong’s words. Xuelan was not that kind of woman. He knew that, yet for some reason he had still been angry. No matter how much he denied it, the truth was that he had simply felt intense jealousy toward Xuelan because she knew martial arts and was stronger than he was.

“Xuelan cries every night. She used to be a girl who always smiled whenever she talked about you, but lately all she does is cry every day. She barely sleeps. She barely eats, either. I’m worried about her health.”

“…Is that so?”

So that really was how things were? He had suspected it, but to think she was not even eating properly. Bai Shixuan sighed as he imagined her crying every night.

“That’s why I’m going to apologize tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow…….”

At Bai Shixuan’s words that he would apologize tomorrow, Choryeong repeated the word and shook her head. When he looked at her curiously, wondering why she was shaking her head, she spoke.

“Xuelan is leaving today.”

“What?”

When Bai Shixuan asked again as though he could not understand what she meant by leaving, Choryeong looked at him with sorrowful eyes.

“Xuelan is a girl the Flower Fragrance Pavilion invested a great deal into raising. Beautiful looks, exquisite performances, outstanding martial arts. And above all, natural talent. Yet that girl said she wanted to leave this place with you. Do you think the Madam would have simply allowed that? At first, she was furious, but when she saw how stubborn Xuelan was, she eventually gave permission. There was a condition, though…….”

“…A condition.”

At the word condition, Bai Shixuan continued staring at Choryeong. Of course, he had known it could not have been easy. Xuelan must have struggled for a long time. Yet she had always smiled in front of him. Thinking about that made his chest ache terribly.

“She was never to use martial arts. And when she eventually left this place, she was to have her martial arts abolished. If she broke either condition, she would have to obey everything the Madam told her to do. And in the end, Xuelan broke that promise.”

“Then what happens to her?”

“I already told you. She’s leaving.”

At Choryeong’s words, Bai Shixuan felt as though the entire world were spinning around him. He became so dizzy that he could not think at all. He tried for a moment to understand what Choryeong had said, but he simply could not make sense of it.

“Then where is she going?”

“I can’t tell you that either. You may never see her again.”

Never see her again? He had only just finally accepted her feelings. They had only just become lovers, and once he had saved a little more money, he had planned for the two of them to gain their freedom, buy a small plot of land, farm it, and spend the rest of their lives together. And now she was leaving. He might never see her again!

“That can’t happen!”

Shixuan shouted loudly at Choryeong and immediately ran toward the place where Xuelan had been. It was the very place where Shixuan had been working. The place where he had first met her. He ran there, but Xuelan had already left.

“Damn it!”

Bai Shixuan cursed and immediately started running again.

“Go to the back gate!”

Choryeong’s voice rang out from afar. Bai Shixuan, who had been running aimlessly with no destination in mind, heard her voice and changed direction, racing toward the back gate.

“Xuelan!”

“Ah…….”

When Bai Shixuan reached the back gate, he saw Xuelan about to board a palanquin. When he shouted her name, Xuelan turned around just as she was about to get inside and stared at Bai Shixuan with a startled expression.

“Please give us a moment.”

When he spoke to the Madam, whose face was concealed behind a veil, she nodded. Xuelan immediately ran toward Bai Shixuan as he approached.

“Don’t go.”

“Shixuan…….”

Xuelan looked at Bai Shixuan sorrowfully when those were the first words he spoke upon reaching her.