Chapter 39

The day before the plan—a midday meeting.

“Fight your brother.”

“That’s a bit sudden and violent, isn’t it!?”

I was feeling quite irritable.

The twisted relationship between the older brother, who shouldn’t have been so dense, and the younger brother was just too frustrating to watch.

According to Nagi’s side of the story—he couldn’t forgive Senior Garmon for coming home so rarely, smiling vacantly while only sending money and things, which overlapped with the image of their parents from their childhood. Furthermore, he couldn’t forgive Senior for being oblivious to it, nor for failing to notice that Nagi was angry about it in the first place. To summarize… it was halfway to being a misplaced grudge.

Apparently, he was aware of that fact but simply didn’t want to admit it honestly.

In short, if Nagi would just be honest or if Senior Garmon would notice and face him, this brotherly spat would reach some kind of conclusion.

However, Nagi, who wasn’t entirely unaware that he was also at fault, had tried a few times in his own way to convey his feelings to his brother, but…

‘Sorry. If I don’t head back now, I won’t make it in time for my Knight duties.’

‘Will it be okay if we talk next time I get leave?’

‘Why don’t you come to the Royal Capital? Just kidding, hahaha.’

At the worst possible timing, things had gone like this three times in a row, so Nagi finally decided to double down on his stubbornness. While Nagi was being childish, it sounded like Senior Garmon bore a fair share of the responsibility as well. Or rather, was that man using “busyness” as an excuse to run away from his little brother? Perhaps he, too, was aware of why he was being disliked.

Opposite to Nagi, the cause of their misalignment was likely that Senior was aware of the issue but hesitated to take a step forward, choosing to withdraw instead.

“Yeah, you definitely need to fight.”

“Why do you keep saying that!?”

“What are you talking about? Trading blows with the sunset at your backs to confirm each other’s feelings—it’s a traditional method of mutual understanding passed down since ancient times. Both of you, put all those troublesome lingering attachments into your fists and let them clash!”

It was absolutely not because I was annoyed by their convoluted emotions and thought they both deserved to experience some pain. Definitely not. And it wasn’t that I was fed up with the fact that the source of the Militia’s hatred for the Knights was a brotherly spat that was hindering the investigation, and I wanted to punish them. It certainly wasn’t a misplaced grudge.

It’s just that it genuinely pissed me off to see a respectable senior, who had looked after me since I joined, in such a pathetic relationship with his brother. It was a biased demand on my part: Senior Garmon, stop being such a wuss. At least have one real fight or argument with your brother.

“First of all, that’s way too cliché! Do you really think that shitty Brother of mine would honestly go along with a fistfight?! He’ll definitely make excuses like ‘I can’t because it’ll affect tomorrow’ or ‘I’ll do it later’ and run away!!”

“Hmm, that’s true…”

He was a man who had chosen to become a knight even if it meant leaving his family in his hometown.

Being a responsible Squad Leader, he wouldn’t take the risk of hindering operations for personal reasons.

On the other hand, if you asked if there would be an opportunity after the mission ended, there absolutely wouldn’t be.

“This is bad. There’s a chance he’d agree after the Orc subjugation… but since we’re pressed for time, we’ll probably move out immediately after the extermination is finished. There’s no time to fight!”

Even if the Orc scouting ended tomorrow, judging by this subjugation—which had already exceeded the scheduled days for a normal Orc hunt—there wouldn’t be a single day to spare. In a normal subjugation, there would be at least a day to rest the body, but not this time; we’d move out the moment the hunt ended.

…Actually, if the days dragged on any longer, wouldn’t next year’s vacation be blown away? If that happened, it would be bad; hell would be waiting for me next year. I have to launch a solo surprise attack on the Orcs immediately… no, wait, isn’t there another way?

“Once an Orc colony is discovered, it takes at least two days for mission planning and preparation. During that time, the top priority for the Skirmish Squad, who will be on the front lines, is to get into peak condition to avoid mistakes. As long as you don’t break any bones, a fight won’t be a hindrance.”

“H-Hey? If it’s impossible, I’ll give up too…”

“However, any further delay would be the worst-case scenario for the Knights. If we assume a day off for a fight, the burden on everyone around you would be immense and complaints would arise. If you’re going to fight, it has to be after the Orcs’ infiltration route is confirmed. In other words, the condition for picking a fight is that we must confirm the Orcs’ nest and their travel route… If we know the travel route, we can work backward to pinpoint the nest.”

“Whoa, hey?! This is a problem between me and Brother, so let’s talk about the Orcs instead of the fight…”

“We need a ‘motive’ strong enough to ensure Senior Garmon takes the bait, and to make it so that gentle man can’t run away. Should I smooth-talk him into it, or should I go with a flashy, theatrical setup?”

And so, the outline of the plan to use myself as bait to lure Senior out and make him snap began to take shape.

I repeat: there was a legitimate reason for this. It wasn’t because I knew I wouldn’t be able to resist scoffing, “Then why were you at each other’s throats until now?!” if these troublesome brothers reached a refreshing ending. Nor was it because I disliked their moping spirits and wanted to knock some sense into them.

“Are you perhaps more into this than I am, and I’m the one involved?! I mean, I’m happy if you’re doing the legwork, but?! If you’re going that far, aren’t there other ways besides a fistfight!?”

“No, a fistfight is best. Whether the relationship improves or ends in a split, warriors should settle things like warriors—through martial force!”

This was an extremely important operation, with the future of the Knights and the future of the brothers at stake.

Thus, the plan proceeded—.

“I want to deliver this to Nonoka-san once I finish writing the report, but if I don’t show my face at noon, the kidnapping will feel more realistic… Alright, I’ll have someone else deliver it. To ensure it reaches Nonoka-san for sure, I want to give it to Caliban, Calme, or maybe Bevion. The Recovery Squad area is off-limits to unauthorized personnel, after all.”

“Should I take it? I could grab a knight nearby and have them call those three…”

“No, you have to do thorough preparations for the plan. Let’s see, Bevion goes in and out the most, so let’s lure him with Baum-chan. Special Member Baum, I am giving you a mission!”

“Roger! But… why me?”

“Because Bevion is a man who’s soft on girls.”

The documents passed into her hands—.

“Hmm, hmm. So, you’ll lead Garmon-kun along appropriately, and once he heads to the scene, you’ll immediately submit the documents. To think you wouldn’t show up at noon… Varna-kun, you’re a bad boy, aren’t you~?”

“This is a prank that could get us a pay cut if things go south, Senior…”

“But if it isn’t discovered, there’s no pay cut, right? And if I’m asked to help improve a family relationship, I can’t exactly refuse, can I? ♪ In that case, should we aim to block the flow of information through Senega-chan, who’s helping the Vice Commander? Caliban-kun, Veera-chan, this is a secret… shhh!”

“Okay~”

“Myu-n?”

Mixed with a bit of malice—.

“Hoh, what an unfaithful, insincere, and crude plan, unbecoming of the Knights. And you’re telling me, the self-proclaimed trusted subordinate of the Vice Commander, to keep quiet about it? It sounds interesting, so very well.”

“Great! As expected of Senega-chan! Next time, as a thank-you, I’ll take you to that new Dondurma ice cream shop that opened in the Royal Capital!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t like the sound of the name ‘Dondurma,’ so please make it a different shop.”

“Ehh, but it’s delicious! Then, how about this? I have a reservation at a yakiniku place that serves various monster internal organs…”

“That sounds great. Let’s go!”

‘I was curious about what they were talking about, but the sudden mention of gross food completely hijacked my train of thought…!!’

‘I don’t get it… Nonoka-san knowing a shop like that is one thing, but I just can’t find the boundary of what Senega-san considers ‘acceptable’ or ‘not’…!!’

And so, the plan was a resounding success.

The only miscalculation in the scheme was that the parts where Baum-chan said, “I’ll add some realistic color for you,” and dabbed on paint and crayons looked so much like a real assault that it was actually terrifying. Apparently, she was used to seeing such things from tavern brawls, but I felt like some kind of new talent was slumbering within her.

“…And that is the outline of the incident, Senior.”

“I will never forgive you! I’ll resent you for the rest of my life!!”

Senior Garmon shouted with his eyes wide open, glaring at me resentfully.

I thought to myself that even this usually calm and composed man could make a face like that, but immediately afterward, Dr. Pheles—one of the “Three Great Mother Goddesses” of our Order—who was treating Senior’s face, knit her brows.

“Hey, if you move, I can’t treat you! Honestly, I’m appalled! Getting into a massive brawl with your brother and ending up a wreck during this busy time! If you’re an adult, you should have realized you were being tricked!”

Dr. Pheles was a person in the somewhat magical profession of a “Healer,” and was one of the personnel dispatched from the Research Institute. She captured the hearts of men with her silk-white skin, beautiful blonde hair that reached her waist, a refined face described more as an “older sister” than a “mother,” and a rather merciless way of speaking.

Unlike Nonoka-san, she wasn’t a professor-rank person, but appeared to be an international student who had come to apprentice under a famous healer who happened to be in the Kingdom. Incidentally, she had a reputation for her angry face being even cuter than her smiling one.

“Uguuuu… But if anyone saw him in that state, they’d—!!”

“Don’t be silly. Varna is a master of the Kingdom Self-Defense Kick-Boxing Style, having studied under Tamae-san. Unlike you, if an amateur tried something strange behind his back, he’d notice and K.O. them with a roundhouse kick.”

“How was I supposed to know that?! …Ouch, ow!”

“Look, don’t move. The healing cloth will peel off, won’t it?”

As Dr. Pheles looked on in exasperation while sticking special therapeutic cloths all over Senior Garmon, he reluctantly quieted down. Although Senior Garmon was about a decade older, Dr. Pheles held the important position of a healer, making her an existence that knights couldn’t defy.

Occasionally, there was some idiot who requested that she insult them instead, but the custom was for all such people to be incapacitated by the paralytic blowgun she kept on hand and tossed out of the treatment room by a junior.

By the way, the doctor was a fellow disciple, so to speak, as she had participated in the “Kingdom Self-Defense Kick-Boxing Style Acquisition and Intensive Training Camp” hosted by Tamae-san and forced upon the Cooking Squad alongside me, so she was a bit kinder to me. From an onlooker’s perspective, even a kind Dr. Pheles was cute; in short, they were saying that Dr. Pheles was just plain cute. Perhaps their brains were a bit far gone.

“In the first place, the moment Nonoka-chan didn’t report the ransom note to the entire Order, it was 100% a trap. That girl is far smarter than you, who has no talent other than swinging a weapon around, and she trusts Varna-kun more than me. If anything, she’d arm herself and go to the rescue herself.”

“…For some reason, an image of Nonoka-san bonking someone while saying ‘Give back Nonoka’s toy!’ popped into my head.”

“You’re too soft, Senior. My mind conjured an image of the Slaughter Angel Nonoka-san, throwing a mass of scalpels to impale Nagi while laughing hysterically.”

“I wonder if it’s just my imagination that both seem fairly plausible…?”

Certainly, it didn’t feel that out of place regardless of which one was reality, but since the latter would result in casualties, I thought bringing Nonoka-san over to our side was indeed the right choice.

To return to the subject.

While the pointless chatter continued, Senior Garmon’s entire body was covered thick with healing cloths.

In particular, his face was almost entirely covered except for his nostrils, making him look like a subspecies of a mummy.

It wasn’t the classic “clumsy girl who’s bad at wrapping bandages” trope; it was just that his face was so focused on being beaten to a pulp that it had to be that way. Confirming she had finished applying them, Dr. Pheles pulled out a sharp staff embedded with a crystal and pointed it at Senior Garmon.

“Alright, here we go… Hmm, ahem! …O fundamental Ether! Following the ancient covenant, grant this person the cycle of healing—‘Ointment’!”

As she announced the name of the spell, the crystal at the tip of the staff glowed faintly, and the light transferred to the healing cloths.

Signs resembling ancient characters were drawn on the healing cloths, which apparently served as the magical medium. One after another, the characters acting as the medium lit up, the light propagating rapidly to the adjacent characters until it eventually enveloped Senior’s body itself.

With those strange, glowing patterns floating all over his body, he looked… how should I put it…

“From an outsider’s perspective, you look like the object of worship for some evil deity cult.”

“Fweh?! Fwon’t fwa fway fwuch fwa fwing fwoo fwee?!”

“Yes, yes, I don’t know what you’re saying, but don’t talk! If the healing cloth peels off, that spot won’t heal!”

It was a very “magic-like” healing spell, involving a chant and ending with the name of the technique, but as expected—or rather, like other magic—it wasn’t very convenient to use. Learning the magic was said to be of medium difficulty among mages, but a medium to pass mana through was absolutely essential. According to the doctor, healing without a medium was like “trying to burn an entire sheet of blank paper using the focused light of a magnifying glass.”

Furthermore, it seemed a high-quality medium had to be used; the cloths Senior was covered in were processed from grass that served as a raw material for quite expensive elixirs, costing 10,000 Stele per sheet. Well, as for the cloths themselves, once bought they could be used many times, so it was a necessary expense. If anything, the problem lay elsewhere.

“Senior Pheles! I’ve brought that thing!”

A young man, a junior healer, brought something large from the back of the treatment room.

It was an object with a strange shape, a mysterious fusion of a chair and a table.

As if she had been waiting for it, Dr. Pheles sat in the chair, fixed the hand holding her staff into a large groove of unknown purpose near the armrest, and began reading a book stored in the table section with her other hand. She no longer even spared a glance for the subject of her healing, Senior Garmon. Several hourglasses were set at the edge of the table, one of which was trickling sand.

I averted my eyes from the indescribable sight and spoke to the junior healer.

“No matter when I see it, that’s an incredible shape. It’s the ‘Lazy Healing Set’ devised by Dr. Pheles… Didn’t she have the Tool Creation Squad make it to solve the boredom and hassle of having to point a staff at the patient in the same posture throughout the entire healing process?”

“Yes. Not only can you set hourglasses matched to the treatment time of the wounds, but lately, a groove for placing drinks has even been added. It looks a bit silly, but I think it’s a revolutionary invention.”

“Easy-peasy~ Ah, it looks like the healing will take a bit longer, so why don’t you head back to your room first, Varna-kun? You’re busy tomorrow, right?”

While Dr. Pheles looked comfortable with her body fixed in the “Lazy Healing Set,” Senior Garmon—who would cause the healing cloths to peel off if he moved carelessly—couldn’t move at all in his “Evil Deity Statue” state. Since the mana circulation would worsen if he lay down, he had to keep his body upright, and he was swaying slightly from the exhaustion of the fight and drowsiness.

‘Is it just my imagination that something about this as a treatment scene is fundamentally wrong…?’

“Hey, you! Stay still because moving strangely will only make the healing take longer! You’re a boy, aren’t you!”

“Fwoo fway fwo…”

“Quiet, don’t argue! The book is getting to an interesting part right now, so shut up!”

“Fwoo fwerwible…”

By the way, it seemed a mass-production plan for this chair was secretly underway under the guidance of the bearded old man.

The day the “Lazy Healing Set” hits the world market is not far off.

However, I couldn’t help but feel that if this spread across the world, humanity would take one step closer to ruin.