Chapter 77

“You’re going to use the lake as a pitfall!?”

Captain Akina and I let out ridiculous shouts at the completely unexpected proposal.

“The lake near my house is actually pretty deep. And around this time of year, there’s usually about twenty centimeters of ice on it… but since we’ve had some sunny days recently, it shouldn’t be that thick!”

“By the way, how deep is it?”

“It seems to have been carved out deep by snowmelt from the mountains, so the center of the lake is about five meters deep…”

Twenty centimeters of ice sounds thick, but what would be standing on it is a super-giant with a body length of five meters and a weight probably just shy of a ton. If something like that rampaged on top, the ice would surely fail to hold and shatter.

As for me, this was the first I’d heard that a lake even existed, but Captain Akina seemed to have an idea, nodding in realization. “Ah, the one next to the house!”

“If I remember right, there’s snow piled on top of the ice, isn’t there! A human would know it’s a lake, but an Orc might not notice and end up stepping onto it, right!?”

“The depth is sufficient. If it falls into sub-zero water, even with all that fur, the Orc won’t get away unscathed. It’s a literal natural pitfall… However.”

I said that much, then narrowed my eyes and glared at Busse.

“Were you planning to run away from the Orc and lure it all by yourself to execute this plan? You realize a child’s legs aren’t fast enough to outrun it, right?”

“Eh, ah… i-is that so? I just sort of thought I could make it…”

“That thing has insane movement speed; it’s absolutely impossible. Even if you managed to lure it, what were you planning to do if you got caught in the breaking ice and fell into the lake yourself? Did you think about those things before you acted?”

“Fuguuu!? …I-I’m sorry! The Orc’s speed and things like that… I… I didn’t think about it!”

Crushed by the fact that his expectations were hopelessly optimistic and flimsy, Busse hung his head with tears welling in his eyes. I could understand how the desire to protect the village and feelings of self-reproach drove him to such actions, but even so, it was far too reckless. Akina-san, beside me, seemed less angry and more exasperated, letting out a long, heavy sigh.

“Busse.”

“…I’m sorr—”

“Since your plan is full of holes, we knights will help you out as a special favor. Heh, you should be grateful to the merciful me!”

“…Eh? Um, you’re not angry anymore—”

“Alright, Varna! Carry Busse and be the decoy! The Orc has already learned his face and scent, after all!”

“Yes, yes, understood, understood.”

“Eh, ehhh!? You’re not even listening to me anymore!?”

Unfortunately for Busse, the Captain is that kind of person all the time. Furthermore, Vice-Captain Zato tells me she has a very troublesome habit of “delayed anger”—where she remembers things later—so if you don’t properly remember the mistakes you’ve made, you’ll be in big trouble later.

Though, sometimes she forgets, so all you can do then is pray to the goddess of fortune. If the goddess likes shota, then you’ve got a chance.

“And we’ll get to the lake ahead of you and tamper with the ice in the center to make it easier to break! We’ll signal with a flare when we’re done, so lure the white Orc there at the right moment! How’s that? That’s the perfect plan of an adult! Operation start! Here, hurry up and get on Varna’s back!!”

“E, ehhh!?”

“Are you doing it or not!? If you’re a man, decide right here and now!”

“I, I’ll do it, but! Uuu, why is Akina-san like this…!?”

It was a bit crude and pushy to be called the “voice of authority,” but there was no doubt that this pushiness was the catalyst that immediately set the operation in motion. In truth, though her words were rough, the objective became clear, and the knight order’s actions thereafter were swift.

Thus, Busse’s plan was put into action surprisingly quickly and succeeded brilliantly.

Several minutes after the Orc sank to the bottom of the water, the knights—including Akina, who had finished preparing the trap and retreated outside the lake to watch—approached the broken part of the ice. In their hands was the knight order’s signature yellow flag used to signal the location of a corpse.

“Well? Did it drown?”

“I think its consciousness faded, so it should be fine.”

“Alright, then we can proudly plant this flag!!”

Captain Akina smiled slyly, held the flag high, and thrust it into the footing with one swift motion.

“White Orc, subjugation complete, damn it!!”

“I… I did it~~~~! We took down the monster together! Hey, Neige! A victory hug!! Hurry!!”

“It’s super gross how you’re wiggling your fingers with ulterior motives while saying that, you know?”

“I need you to cover for my lack of discipline…”

“Want to try some winter swimming in the hole the Orc fell into?”

While Neige pointed her thumb with a cold expression at the surface where the Orc had fallen, and Kebes apologized with a straight face saying “Sorry” to the tension-less scene behind them, Busse, having been let down from his piggyback ride, started running toward everyone.

“Everyone, thank you! To think you would actually make a plan made by a kid like me come true…!”

“No, no, it has nothing to do with being made by a kid, Busse-kun! We were able to help because we thought your strategy was good! Right, Neige, you agree, don’t you!?”

“You should hold your head high, Busse-kun. Only people who live in this area would ever come up with using a lake as a natural pitfall.”

As Busse bowed deeply, warm words leaked from the surrounding knights, and the knights in the back were nodding along. In truth, when I first heard this story, both Akina-san and I were genuinely impressed.

That said, the result does leave various problems remaining, but let’s save that conversation for after we get home. I thought that while hearing a crackling sound coming from somewhere—and then, I suddenly wondered.

Come to think of it, I feel like I just heard this crackling sound a moment ago…

“Ah.”

At that moment, I realized it. The sound was coming from the feet of the Squad Leader, who was holding the flag high and shouting, “This is my achievement!!,” and I saw the causal relationship with the flag she had driven into the ground with all her might.

The tip of the flag, driven into the not-so-thick ice, had been sharpened to pierce the ground easily; it was even something that had been used as a spear in emergencies. She had thrust it in with such vigor, and of all places, it was right near the spot where the Orc had just sunk. Even if I weren’t a prophet, I could foresee the future once I noticed that much.

Apparently, the Goddess of Fate was quite angry with Squad Leader Akina.

“Squad Leader! Please release that flag and slowly move away from the water’s surface!!”

“Hehehe… If I frame this as taking flexible measures as the on-site supervisor for this operation, then a bonus payment isn’t just a dream… Eh? Varna, did you just say you were yielding the achievement to me?”

“Her ears and brain are too happy to hear a single word I say!?”

Unfortunately, Squad Leader Akina’s mind had already drifted toward money, and it seemed she could only hear this cracking sound as applause or something of the sort. Thinking that trying to force her to move by pulling would only make matters worse, I gently grabbed Busse’s shoulder and moved away from the Squad Leader.

Forgive me, Squad Leader. Even I don’t want to go winter swimming.

“Then, Squad Leader, we’ll be going ahead…”

“Oh! Go on, go on! Still, that pig bastard sank so beautifully…”

Saying that, the Squad Leader moved to the edge of the water’s surface—which was likely the most brittle part of all—and snap. Finally, the footing reached its limit and broke.

“Hm? Something feels cold at my feet—obyaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!?”

Having finally realized the anomaly, the Squad Leader looked down at her feet, but it was already too late. She fell vertically into the lake while maintaining the posture of looking down.

Ah, I can already picture her face in my mind, rampaging later and shouting, “Why didn’t you tell me, you jerk!!”

As a postscript, the fact that the sight of that vertical fall was so surreal, and that the Squad Leader let out an incredible scream due to the bone-chilling cold, brought waves of uproarious laughter to the knight order’s drinking parties for a while. That was, of course, a conversation held in her absence.

◇ ◆

—Let me report on the aftermath.

First, regarding sinking the Orc into the lake, I received a lecture from the Vice Commander, as expected. Since Orc blood is poisonous, soaking a wounded Orc in water is generally a very bad practice. The reason I only got a lecture was likely because no other method could have surely finished off that giant Orc without any casualties.

In reality, the Vice Commander’s grumbling seemed to be merely formal; in the end, he praised our struggle with a smile, saying, “You managed to overcome a difficult situation well.”

“…By the way, why isn’t Akina-san here?”

“About that person… well, she fell into the lake by accident and got frozen, so she’s recuperating at Busse’s house.”

“Ah, that’s fine. If she were here, she’d just be saying greedy things like ‘give me a bonus’ or ‘make Varna-kun’s achievement your own’.”

“You’ve read her thought process almost perfectly…”

“She is far too easy to understand.”

Next, regarding the handling of the lake: it was fortunate that the water was close to zero degrees Celsius, which induced a coagulation effect, and no poison was detected at a level that would impact the environment. For the record, the water quality test was done by Myun-myun (Veera), who was bored in the motive carriage, while she was swimming, so there’s no mistake. I should clarify that she wasn’t treated like a canary in a coal mine; it was a cooperative effort based on consent.

“Myun-myuun♪ Myu-myu♪”

“I mean, Nonoka-chan is surprised that Veera-chan is fine even in freezing temperatures… Caliban-kun. What is she saying?”

“She says the water seems quite clear. She likes it, also because it’s been a while since she swam. However, she says that since it’s wide and open with no place to run, and there’s ice, it doesn’t seem like it’d be very easy to live in.”

“No, that’s not what I meant!”

Regarding the corpses that sank into the lake, I heard they started the work of dragging out the Orc’s body immediately, but the weight of the prey and the fact that the footing was ice were obstacles, making the pace quite slow. I’m told it will probably take several days, so it looks like it will be a little while longer before we knights leave this village.

If anyone were to try and enjoy sledding on the slope in front of the lake under these circumstances, I guarantee the corpse-recovery team would sink them into the lake, saying, “If you have time to play, die instead.” I tearfully gave up on sledding and decided to help with the village’s reconstruction.

The state of the village is not very good. It was not a very large village to begin with, and on top of that, there are two collapsed houses and seven partially destroyed ones. Repairing them in the midst of falling snow is harsh, and for some houses, it seems it would be faster to rebuild them than to repair them. However, since there were zero human casualties and the food and fuel were mostly unaffected, Village Chief Fabre said that they plan to hold hands as a whole village and get through the winter for now.

Even so, it is a matter of concern that Yagara is the one checking the damage. It is certainly that man’s job, but never since the beginning of the knight order has there been a case where civil houses suffered this much damage.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake! Why must I, Yagara, be the one to check this freezing, old, and dirty village? They should just live in a cellar or something, in a cellar! It suits earthy commoners!!”

“Don’t complain and let’s get this checked quickly, Chronicler! If you’re cold, have a stiff drink! It’s a gooood medicine to warm up the body!!”

“Don’t dangle that demon’s poison liquid in front of me!? Aah, the architectural style is different from the Royal Capital, so making estimates is a hassle! Moreover, being a mountain village, only the quality of the wood is pointlessly high-grade!!”

Yagara, who was writing notes in his notebook at high speed while being pestered by Senior Rock, didn’t seem to be denouncing the knight order’s bungling, perhaps because he was quite busy. Well, the ignorant Kingdom Council has an unpleasant air of “Who cares how the commoners live as long as no one died?”, so perhaps it won’t become a major incident after all.

…I hate myself for saying this, but the council of this country is something else. Speaking of things that should be fixed, a problem has also surfaced with my beloved sword. Thinking about it makes me depressed, but to my chagrin, it has been proven that the performance of my current sword falls behind against monsters with superior defensive power like this one.

I have absolutely no intention of throwing it away or letting it go, and it is a sword I intended to keep as my partner for the next seventy years, but regrettably… truly regrettably, I must acquire a sword with better sharpness. Once I return to the Royal Capital, I will have a serious talk about swords with the blacksmith, Old Man Genon. I cannot let the order be inconvenienced just for my own pickiness.

According to Old Man Genon, I am in a state of “entertaining the sword.”

I don’t deny that relationship, but I must steel myself to find a new partner.

Also, Nonoka, who was acting strangely during this mission, told me a little bit about a story she had kept from me after the mission. The content was quite shocking, but she adorably warned me, “If you leak this story… no-no, okay?”, so I decided to keep my mouth shut as told. Don’t ask, don’t you dare ask.

Also, this is a trivial story, but I’ll mention it just in case.

“I have been a goddess for many years! But this is the first time I’ve been treated like an invasive species!? I know about heretic hunting and the denigration of demons as knowledge! I know that, but… isn’t it too much to treat me like a pig!! I am the Goddess of Fate!! In other words, I am the one who brings good fortune!!”

“Haha, that sounds tough…”

“Ah, that way of saying it—you definitely don’t understand!! This is why people without faith are…! You too! Why are you treating me like a shotacon on your own? Is it bad to like cute boys? Every adult loves children! Bringing in labels like shotacon or lolicon to try and distinguish them is just proof that humans haven’t fully grown up yet!! …Are you listening!?”

“Aren’t you missing the point? Or rather, why me? It’s not my fault if Squad Leader Akina talks about things!”

“Shut up and listen! Ahem, listen! Otherwise, I won’t give you luck… Oh my!? No way, if you look closely, you don’t have enough luck to begin with!?”

…I had a dream where a beautiful woman claiming to be the Goddess of Fate was taking out her intense anger on me like that.

I think it was just a dream, but for the time being, I decided to place the wooden talisman bell given to me by Senior Reikan next to my pillow starting tomorrow. I haven’t had that dream since the next day, so I think it was probably some kind of evil spirit.