Chapter 3

Life is boring.

That was what I thought when I was only five years old.

Dylan Vermelio, a child born between the King of the Vermelio Kingdom and a concubine. Among the royalty, my academic performance was head and shoulders above the rest, and there was nothing I could not do. Beautiful in features, naturally gifted and brilliant. A rare talent—that was what they called the Second Prince.

Everything I did had gone smoothly since I was a little child.

If I studied languages, I could read and write them right away; if I used magic, I mastered it instantly.

With golden hair just like His Majesty’s and sapphire eyes inherited from my mother, people said this appearance was beautiful, and His Majesty, too, had paid me a fair amount of attention.

Perhaps His Majesty felt pity for me, as my mother had a frail constitution and reportedly passed away when she gave birth to me. Despite being a child of a concubine, I was permitted to have frequent audiences with the King.

I was happy. Even if it wasn’t as much as the First Prince, whenever I accomplished something, he would praise me.

I see, you did well. Just those few words were enough for me. It didn’t have to be as much as the First Prince. As long as he recognized me even just a little…

Everyone around me also called me special. They told me to use that talent for the sake of the King.

Of course I nodded. For the sake of the beloved King. If I did, he would acknowledge me even more. I hadn’t meant to wish for anything extraordinary. I only wanted to work hard and be recognized. I just wanted to be praised by His Majesty, even if only a little.

I was happy back then. I was still able to be a child.

The one who shattered that happiness was, first of all, the First Prince. Born between the King and the Queen, the First Prince reportedly did not have academic results as good as mine.

Since I had no intention whatsoever of becoming king, it was practically guaranteed that he would be the next in line for the throne, yet he likely could not stomach the sight of a younger brother who was more capable than him, a younger brother born from a concubine who outperformed him, wandering around His Majesty’s vicinity.

The First Prince’s feelings were nothing as cute as jealousy. His self-esteem had been battered to pieces by a younger brother who could do things he couldn’t, leaving him with a deep-seated complex. The birth of a princess between the King and the Queen, leading to him receiving less attention, was likely one of the factors as well.

The things children do are merciless and cruel.

The First Prince exercised the authority of the Crown Prince within the royal palace.

Starting the next day, the private tutor who used to praise me stopped coming. Cattley, a maid who used to smile happily and say, “The Prince is a genius,” had also reportedly returned to her hometown.

That person, and this person—everyone who had been around me vanished one by one. By the time I realized it was the First Prince’s doing, there was already no place left for me in the royal palace.

Everyone gave me a wide berth. Nowadays, not a single person would speak to me. They would glance at me out of the corners of their eyes and whisper amongst themselves.

“Who knows what the Crown Prince will do to you if you get close to the Second Prince?”

I sometimes heard people saying things like that. The Crown Prince held a higher standing than the Second Prince. I had never even heard of my maternal family; I had no backing whatsoever.

There were those who looked at me with worried expressions, but in the end, no one ever reached out a hand to help.

As I spent day after day in solitude, I felt my heart growing cold. I felt betrayed. What hurt the most was that His Majesty had not come to see me and had not stopped the First Prince.

He surely knew the situation in the royal palace. No matter how much an eldest child had been born to the Queen, would he really just leave things as they were?

Thinking up to that point, I arrived at a single conclusion.

His Majesty does not love me.

The moment I realized it, I was struck by a sensation as if my entire field of vision had gone pitch black.

Then what was all that I had seen? What had I been working so hard for?

Am I… unloved?

After all, I was merely a child of a concubine. Even if I was a prince, there was no way I could rival a child born to the Queen. Being praised, getting carried away. In the end, His Majesty had merely pitied me for having no mother. It wasn’t affection at all.

The son of a noble of low status. The prince of a lowly concubine.

Father, why won’t you save me?

Why did you praise me by saying I did a good job?

Why did you come to see me? Why did you pat me on the head? Why, why won’t you love me—?

Alone in my dimly lit private room, I wept softly. Letting my stubbornness get the better of me, I shut myself away for about a week. Perhaps it was all a misunderstanding on my part. Surely, His Majesty would kick the door down and come for me.

That was what I wished for.

Yet the door was never kicked down after all.

Once again, alone, I wept softly.

The things I had believed in were shattered in an instant, and something inside me felt as though it had broken apart with a loud crash.

Several years passed since then, and my heart completely chilled and hardened.

It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s boring.

My well-functioning brain absorbed and stored knowledge like a sponge. When I tried wondering about physical training, I found that I could do it simply by imitating others. What a colorless, uninteresting life this was. It was abnormal for someone who had reached the age of ten to have a heart this dead.

Would someone, or something, not change me? I had even grown tired of harboring expectations like, Won’t someone love me?

The only person I could truly confide in was Schwarz, who had remained my aide all along simply because he was a minister’s son, no matter how much the First Prince tried to chase him away.

“Hey, I’m thinking of becoming an adventurer. What do you think?”

I asked Schwarz, pointing to a book on adventure tales I had been reading recently.

“Please don’t do anything rash.”

“It’s not like I’m rushing to my death. I was just wondering what it’s like to defeat powerful monsters. See, it might actually be exciting, even for me.”

“Hah… You royalty are the only ones who possess magic. You’d be in trouble if monsters were just roaming around anywhere.”

“Man, you’re such a killjoy.”

When I chuckled, Schwarz let out an exasperated sigh of shoulder-shuffling.

When talking to people, one must not wear a blank expression. That was something Schwarz had lectured me about endlessly. A smile was a weapon, something that could be used in politics and negotiations. It kept your own emotions from being read by the other party, or something along those lines. When I laughed because it was so comical for Schwarz—the person whose expressions were the most vacant of all—to say such a thing, he would often snap at me.

Since I was technically a remnant of royalty, I was forced into it by Schwarz. He likely felt it was all the more necessary for someone like me who stared out at the world with dead eyes.

Donning a thick cat’s hide, I spent my days wearing a plastered-on smile. Unobtrusive responses, a humble posture so as not to be arrogant, an attitude of respecting others. Only by showing those things would human beings open their hearts. Faking as though I had opened my heart, I smiled and concealed the rest. That was the only possible path of masquerade left for me.

“Why don’t you try falling in love?”

“Love?”

I almost clutched my stomach and laughed out loud at Schwarz, who had said that with a deadpan, entirely serious face.

“What’s fun about love? Were you always the kind of guy to make such boring jokes?”

“I’ve heard that people change when they fall in love.”

“Women are just a bunch of folks sidlying up to you with ulterior motives, aren’t they? I have no desire to go out of my way to meet people who reek of cheap perfume.”

“Yes, and that’s precisely why, Your Highness Dylan, how about you go on an arranged marriage meeting?”

“….That was your goal all along, wasn’t it?”

I shot a glare at Schwarz, but he showed no sign of surprise and simply shrugged his shoulders again.

“It is a direct command from His Majesty himself. He figured it’s about time you decide on a fiancée.”

“……The King’s…”

“Well, or rather, it’s already too late, I suppose. The letters for the arranged meetings were apparently sent out to each noble household. I was merely informing you.”

A fiancée.

The one who would become a wife in the future and support her husband.

Would someone capable of supporting me ever appear? That was my straightforward question.

Smile, brush things off, and never expose your true feelings. Sink the core deep, deep down so that no one can touch it, and bare fangs like a wolf if anyone looks like they might reach it. Don’t come closer. Don’t touch me. Don’t get involved. Just leave me be.

If I did that, I would never get hurt again.

I wouldn’t have to experience painful feelings.

Even though I supposedly thought that way, I found myself harboring a faint expectation toward the fiancée candidates I was about to meet. Perhaps someone would change me. Because I was stoking and twisting such contradictory emotions, I was truly beyond saving.

There was no way a woman who could accept someone like me would ever appear. Especially right before my eyes, as a fiancée. I knew better than anyone that the world wasn’t crafted that nicely.

Laughing self-deprecatingly, I closed my eyes.

I felt as though I had heard the voice of someone crying out for help.