Chapter 31

I thought love was pointless.

Whether you liked someone or your heart raced around them honestly didn’t matter. It was nothing more than an illusion of emotion created by the brain, something that would eventually cool down and could never last forever.

Love and romance, no matter how deep they ran, were surprisingly easy to unravel.

The people of the Tirefia family who had belittled me, and my birth mother, a prostitute who had given me up the moment she received money, had never even had affection for me.

The annoying looks from my birth mother and my father’s wife.

My birth father’s apologetic face.

Even remembering them made my stomach churn.

And yet, I had fallen in love so easily at that party.

I had personally experienced something as absurd as love at first sight.

Her silky butter-blonde hair fell in soft waves, while her eyelashes, lowered as though carrying a hint of melancholy, framed eyes that glittered like melted chocolate. Her skin was as white as porcelain, with a faint flush of pink, and her lips were red.

I thought she was an angel.

A beautiful, fleeting angel dressed in an adorable, delicate outfit.

Her doll-like eyes were devoid of light, but when she looked up at me, they seemed to glisten with moisture.

She was shorter than me, with an appearance that made me want to protect her.

“…Sigh.”

I sighed without thinking as I remembered her.

My older sister, who had been practicing embroidery beside me, looked over.

“What’s wrong? Are you lovesick?”

My older sister had been rough and completely lacking in femininity, but the fact that she had become so quiet and ladylike was surely the result of our mother’s strict education.

I felt that I had also become considerably more noble-like myself.

“Sister, I believe it would be better not to pry too deeply into other people’s affairs.”

When I said that, my sister placed a hand over her mouth and said, “Oh my.”

Even from that tiny gesture, I could tell just how strictly Mother had disciplined her.

“It’s fine. Are you perhaps bothered by what Father said to you?”

I looked up in surprise.

On the day Mother had scolded me, Father had certainly given me a lecture. However, he should have spoken quietly enough that my sister couldn’t hear him. There was no way she could have known what we had discussed.

“You heard our conversation?”

“No? But he must have said something unpleasant to you, right? You seem bothered by it.”

My sister was very observant.

She was kind and thoughtful enough to notice even the smallest changes in people.

I suspected that Dylan, her fiancé, was quite fond of her as well.

Honestly, I found it extremely puzzling that anyone could fall for my sister, who was so lacking in femininity.

I doubted anyone else would ever be as devoted to her as he was.

I sincerely hoped my sister would marry Dylan.

“There’s something I’d like to ask you, Sister.”

“Me?”

I licked my dry lips and swallowed.

This might be the key.

“Have you ever spoken with Lady Ciel?”

My sister blinked several times before nodding.

“Th-then… did anything seem strange about her?”

“Strange? No. If I had to say anything, perhaps that she disliked me.”

“What!? She disliked you…? That can’t be…”

“She made it quite clear. It was rather shocking…”

My sister stopped her embroidery and gave a weak smile.

Apparently, she wasn’t lying.

“Why do you ask?”

“No… It’s nothing. …Sigh.”

I hadn’t gotten the information I wanted, so I let out another troubled sigh. Perhaps my sister decided it would be better to leave me alone, because she said nothing and simply resumed her embroidery.

Despite being rather rough around the edges, my sister was surprisingly skillful.

…Or so I thought, until I saw the back of her embroidery and discovered it was a complete disaster.

As I absentmindedly watched my sister embroider, the three o’clock bell rang.

I jolted and looked at the clock.

“Already three? Shall we have a snack?”

“…No, thank you.”

“Huh? Will?”

I quietly stood up and left the sitting room.

I could hear my sister calling after me, but I didn’t turn around as I headed into the garden.

As always, beautiful flowers were blooming everywhere, and every part of the garden except the place where we had all played several months ago was meticulously maintained.

In a secluded corner of the garden, near the gate and partially hidden behind the trees—

I could see my sister’s room from there if I tried.

And, just as I had expected, she was there.

“…Lady Ciel…”

She turned toward me as if startled, clutching the handkerchief in her hand.

Yes, she had been coming to the Tybus family estate from time to time, carrying the handkerchief she had apparently borrowed from my sister at that party. However, she never greeted anyone and only secretly peeked in from outside. Her carriage was parked several meters away, and I had no reason to believe she had any business with our household.

The first time she had been here, I had been genuinely shocked.

And happy.

Things like wondering whether she was suspicious or reprimanding her for trespassing had completely flown out of my mind.

Looking back, I could certainly say that I had not possessed even the slightest awareness of myself as a noble.

Mother’s scolding had hit the mark.

And then there were Father’s words.

“…”

Ciel never spoke.

She simply stared desperately toward my sister’s room, her beautiful brown eyes brimming with tears.

If I were still drowning in love as I had been until now, I probably wouldn’t have questioned it at all.

But after what Father had told me, I felt as though I had finally begun to wake up.

Enough to realize that this girl’s behavior was strange.

“Lady Ciel, if you want to return the handkerchief to my sister, I can give it back to her for you.”

I addressed Ciel in the polite manner expected when speaking to someone outside the family, but there was no response.

She didn’t even look at me, completely absorbed in searching for my sister.

“Lady Ciel.”

When I approached her, she finally reacted.

She hugged the handkerchief protectively and shook her head.

Since we weren’t getting anywhere like this, I decided to steel myself.

“Are you… a man?”

“Ciel isn’t a girl.”

Those shocking words Father had told me.

Ciel was not a girl.

Which meant my first love was a man.

When I first heard that, I had nearly fainted.

There had been days when I wondered if I was attracted to men, but I would like to firmly deny that possibility.

Several months had passed, and I had finally managed to make up my mind.

I never knew when Ciel would appear.

I only knew that he always came at three o’clock.

I didn’t know when he would come next, and my resolve might waver again by then.

As I stared at Ciel, for the first time, he showed an expression on his adorable face.

My heart gave an involuntary thump.

“Oh, you knew after all.”

His voice was lower than I expected.

It was definitely a voice that could be mistaken for a boy’s.

I was stunned, and the shock was even greater than I had prepared myself for.

But Ciel continued speaking.

“I thought you liked me. Guess I was wrong. Well, whatever.”

He gave me an arrogant snort and looked down on me.

What the hell was this guy?

Even as I thought that, I couldn’t recover from the shock.

“Don’t be so depressed. I’m cute, after all. It’s only natural you’d be captivated by me.”

Seeing that I was still frozen, Ciel tilted his head in confusion.

Then, with a confident smile, he casually approached me.

“Or do you prefer me this way?”

Ciel suddenly switched to speaking in a feminine manner. His voice shouldn’t have changed at all, yet somehow he looked completely like a girl.

My face flushed involuntarily, and he laughed again as though making fun of me.

My competitive nature finally reared its head, and my meek attitude from moments ago disappeared somewhere.

“You…! You’ve been saying whatever you want just because I kept quiet! First of all, entering someone’s house like this is trespassing!”

“…Ugh!”

“Hurry up, give me the handkerchief, and go home!”

I shouted in anger, and Ciel visibly shrank back.

But seeing him make that expression while dressed like a girl was a problem.

I couldn’t bring myself to say anything more.

“Because… because if I return this, I’ll have no connection to her anymore…!”

Ciel cried out almost like a scream.

I widened my eyes.

“You… You like my sister?”

“I love beautiful things of all kinds! That person, as beautiful and gentle as the moon, is so dear to me that I can’t sleep at night!”

Ciel calmly declared something so embarrassingly poetic that I wondered if he had sugar coming out of his mouth.

“…What? So that’s why you’ve been peeking into her room?”

“Of course! Don’t you want to know why she’s so beautiful? I want to become that beautiful someday, too.”

He murmured dreamily, clutching the handkerchief tightly as his cheeks flushed.

I was completely put off.

I stepped backward and started putting strength into my legs, intending to call a maid.

But Ciel quickly closed the distance between us and grabbed my hand.

“That’s it! You tell me!”

“Are you an idiot!? Where in the world is there a younger brother who tells a suspicious stranger about his sister’s private life!?”

“Please, Will! For me!”

With teary, sparkling eyes, he begged me in the cutest manner he could manage.

What the hell, you’re a boy!

I wanted to say that, but I was the one who had fallen in love with him, so I was weak to this sort of thing.

It would have been easier if he had at least looked burly or obviously masculine!

Unfortunately, he was still a child, so it was difficult to tell his gender at a glance.

“Absolutely not! Besides, my sister already has a fiancé!”

“I know! The Second Prince, right? He’s a beautiful person, isn’t he? He’d be really cute if he dressed as a girl!”

“Don’t compare Prince Dylan to you!”

“I don’t mind being her second husband! I’d even be her lover!”

“You’re way too depraved!!”

I put all my strength into trying to pull my hand free, but I couldn’t shake him off.

He was stronger than I expected.

“Ah!! I hear a beautiful voice!”

Ciel suddenly let go of my hand and shouted.

At the same time, when I strained my ears, I heard my sister calling my name from somewhere in the distance.

This guy… is seriously creepy…

“See you later, Will. I’m Sienoile Noir Marcas. I think you’ll make a good conversation partner!”

“Don’t ever come back!!”

Still clutching the handkerchief, Ciel—Sienoile—ran toward the carriage with a bright smile.

As I watched him go, I reaffirmed my belief.

You really shouldn’t fall in love.