The Waiter Hides a Laser
16

Chapter 16

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“Monsters?”

I cocked my head.

“Isn’t that just something the grown-ups made up to scare children?”

“No. Monsters are real, the same way spirit beasts are real. They mostly turn up around ruins, that’s all, so they’re hard to lay eyes on. They exist, I’m telling you!”

I couldn’t believe it, so I looked at Moyong Danho.

“…Seriously?”

Moyong Danho nodded, his face dead serious.

“Uh, then how about we cancel now and take a different mission….”

Moyong Rin smacked me on the shoulder.

“Like we could cancel now. After all the fuss you made.”
“She’s right. Turn back at this point and we’ll be nothing but a laughingstock.”
“So we get laughed at a little. Big deal.”

I picked up the mission slip and turned to go, and Moyong Rin caught a fistful of my clothes and hauled me back.

“You idiot! To a warrior, pride matters more than life!”
“All right, so what do you want to do, then?”

Moyong Rin traded a look with Moyong Danho, then let out a long sigh.

“Nothing for it. We just have to do it.”
“Fitting, if anything. The other commissions were dull.”

…Putting down bandits and exterminating black-path thugs is dull?

“Come on. Let’s talk this through.”

We moved off somewhere else.

“This is the ruin site we’re surveying.”

Moyong Rin spread out a map and jabbed a finger at one spot.

“The Changbai Mountains?”

“Mm. On Phoenix Mountain, in fact — the one famous for the roughest terrain in the whole range.”

“Getting there and back is going to be a job in itself.”

The distance alone was no joke, and the road looked anything but level.

“If we’re going to finish the mission and be back inside seven days and nights, we have to set out at once. We’re not in a position to take on several missions the way the others can. Worst case, we come back without even having done the one properly.”
“No. The worst case is not coming back at all.”
“Thaaaanks. That’s a real comfort.”
“Don’t mention it.”

Moyong Danho shrugged.

“Look on the bright side. Pull off this one mission properly and we leave every other team in the dust.”

Moyong Danho, in his own mind, probably meant that as encouragement, but it didn’t land that way with me at all.

Wasn’t Grade A supposed to be things like putting down bandits, exterminating a wolf pack, destroying a black-path base?

And this was harder than all of those put together?

“Are ruins really that dangerous?”
“They are. This is the sort of job the family ought to be sending a proper scouting party out for. How it ended up on the board as a mission for us….”
“The family’s scouted the Phoenix Mountain ruins any number of times already, I’d think? It’s a famous enough place. The genuinely dangerous monsters were probably all put down long ago. Maybe that’s why they judged the risk to be low?”
“Well. Could be.”
“They say a blade won’t even bite on more than half of those monsters.”
“We shouldn’t go in meaning to fight. We avoid them as far as we can. It’s a scouting mission to begin with.”

So we split up, agreeing to pack fast and meet at the village entrance. Back at the house I threw my things together in a hurry, and I was still wrestling the bundle into shape when the boss came ambling in.

“Gwang-seon. Where are you off to?”
“A mission. Looks like I have to go a fair way. Seven days and nights or so, I think.”
“Oh? It’s nothing dangerous, is it?”

It’s plenty dangerous, Pops.

Telling him so would only have set him worrying, though, so I fudged it.

“Of course not. It’s just a short trip, like going sightseeing.”
“Mind yourself out there.”
“I will. By the way, where’s Big Bro Un-cheon?”
“Who knows. Haven’t seen hide nor hair of him today.”
“Pass the word to Big Bro for me, would you?”
“I’ll do that.”

I said a quick goodbye to the boss, shouldered my pack and headed for the village entrance.

…Praying, all the while, that it wasn’t the last goodbye.

When I got to the meeting place the two of them were already waiting. Moyong Rin stood with her arms crossed and her weight cocked to one side.

“What kept you so long?”

Then they caught sight of the bundle I’d stuffed to bursting, and their eyes went round.

“What have you packed all that for?”
“Rin’s right. Carry that much and you’ll give out before we’re halfway.”
“It’s fine. It’s all food, so we’ll use it up as we go.”
“That’s all food? You think we’re going on a picnic?”

Moyong Rin let loose a torrent of nagging.

“I can’t take this. You’ve even brought the cast-iron pan. Throw it out this instant!”
“No! Not the wok—!”

She tried to take my friend away from me, and I fought back with everything I had.

“I said let go!”
“Never in this life!”
“…”

Moyong Danho watched the two of us grappling over the wok, scratched his head, and offered a compromise.

“If he feels that strongly about it, why not just let him bring it?”
“Talk sense. Gwang-seon can’t even use the lightness arts. How long do you imagine it’ll take him hauling all that on his back?”
“Ah, true enough. The lightness arts are nothing if not finicky. Even a genius sent down out of heaven couldn’t have picked them up this soon. Should we hire a carriage, then….”

Huh?

“What are you talking about? I can use the lightness arts.”
“Don’t talk nonsense. You’re learning the Butterfly Step from me, aren’t you. You can’t even do the footwork properly.”
“That’s because I learned the Divine Cascade Step first.”
“…What?”

Moyong Rin and Moyong Danho stared at me, eyes wide.

“You’re learning the Divine Cascade Step and the Butterfly Step at the same time?”
“You’re joking, right?”

They clearly weren’t going to take my word for it, so I waved them back and got to my feet.

“I’ll show you. Come on out.”

I settled the pack firmly against my shoulders so it wouldn’t swing, recited the words for what I was, and kicked off the ground.

I am the wind.

Flowing through the vast reaches of space, the interstellar wind that runs between star and star. That is what I am.

— Tak!

The next instant I was the wind, tearing away down the street.

“Wha—!”
“That’s impossible!”

I shouted back over my shoulder.

“Didn’t somebody say we had to set out at once?”

Still aghast, the two of them scrambled into their lightness arts and came after me. Moyong Rin closed the gap in a heartbeat, her footwork light as a butterfly’s, and shouted at me.

“Hey! What’s happened to you?”
“What do you mean?”
“If you’d already learned the Divine Cascade Step, why did you ask to learn the Butterfly Step? Was it to make fun of me?!”

Honestly, everything I do turns out to be making fun of somebody. What in the world is going on inside the heads of murim warriors?

“It’s nothing like that.”
“Then what is it?”
“Nothing. I just thought it’d be nice to learn both.”
“How does that make any sense?”
“And why shouldn’t it?”
“…”

Moyong Danho drew level with the speechless Moyong Rin.

“Gwang-seon! Aren’t you overdoing it right out of the gate? We’ve a long way to go.”
“…Overdoing it?”

Compared with trailing along after Big Bro Un-cheon, this is a gentle stroll.

And right then it hit me that I was measuring by my own standards.

“Ah, is this hard? Should we slow down a bit, then?”

Both their eyes blazed at once.

“No! This is nothing!”
“I said it for your sake! We’re not the least bit tired! Hey, Danho! Are you tired?”
“Not in the slightest!”

Before I could get another word out, the two of them went pelting off ahead of me.

“…What did I say?”


A lavish pleasure house.

In the middle of a din of drunken guests. A figure in black stepped inside.

“Good evening, Great Hero. Is there a particular girl you’re looking for?”

— Ting—

Without a word, the figure in black flicked up a silver coin stamped with an unusual mark. The man’s eyes widened as he took it in, and he showed the way through with every courtesy.

“This way, if you please.”

The figure in black was led to a room, and had barely sat down when dancers in gorgeous costume filed in, entertainers with instruments behind them.

— Clack.

Last of all a woman who looked to be in her forties closed the door and stepped into the room. An ornate butterfly ornament glittered in her neatly pinned-up hair.

“Begin.”

At her command the entertainers struck up their music and the dancers danced to it. The woman seated herself at the table across from the figure in black.

“An honored guest, in so shabby a place. I am called Night Butterfly, of the Hao Sect’s Anshan branch.”1
“I’m looking for someone.”
“What sort of someone?”
“I’m looking for a waiter.”
“…A waiter?”

For the briefest instant, Night Butterfly’s eyes wavered.

“That’s right. One of yours, I hear — Hao Sect. Worked as a waiter at a place called the Peace Inn, in Fallen Star Village.”
“I am dreadfully sorry, but this is the first I have heard of it. There is no Hao Sect branch in Fallen Star Village.”
“That differs from what I was told.”

Night Butterfly held the figure in black’s stare a moment, then struck first.

“Forgive me, but might I ask what brings you down from the lofty Tianshan in search of one worthless little waiter?”2

The figure in black’s brow twitched.

“So you know who I am, as well?”

Night Butterfly looked into the figure in black’s one eye and answered.

“Are you not the Great Hero known as the One-Eyed Dragon, whose name is a byword for cold cruelty?”
“Too easy a question. Then let me ask one that’s easy to answer as well.”

— Shhing.

Something like the sound of a sword leaving its scabbard, and the One-Eyed Dragon’s blade was already resting against Night Butterfly’s throat.

“Tell me where that waiter is. Right now.”
“…!”

The singing broke off short, and the dancers froze stiff in the middle of their sword dance. Every one of them had been braced to meet trouble of any kind, and not one had managed so much as to react.

A trickle.

A bead of blood ran down Night Butterfly’s white throat.

Even so, her voice stayed composed.

“Even you will not leave this place with your body whole if you kill me.”
“You’re in no position to be worrying about me.”

With the tension between them drawn taut, Night Butterfly spoke without flinching under the One-Eyed Dragon’s stare.

“They say the Bursting Fist Demon’s whereabouts are a mystery. Is there some connection?”

The One-Eyed Dragon gave a chilly smile. The blade bit into the courtesan’s slender throat, and a sound of caught breath went through the dancers.

“You’re hurrying your own death along. And you nothing but a worthless wench.”
“It seems our guest is under some sort of misapprehension.”

Night Butterfly went on without so much as a blink.

“However lowly the lives gathered here — people with nowhere else in the world to go — we have a loyalty of our own. I am dreadfully sorry, but I cannot give you an answer that would satisfy you.”
“Very well. Let us weigh which is worth more, that paltry loyalty of yours or your life.”

The moment Night Butterfly squeezed her eyes shut, a shrill scream rang out from behind.

“The Moyong Family!”

The One-Eyed Dragon did not take the blade away, so the entertainer who had been plucking the zither hurried on.

“The Moyong Family took in an adopted son from outside not long ago. They say he’s a genius — the rumor’s everywhere.”
“Hong-yeon!”
“S-so please, let our mistress go! We’ve told you everything we know about that waiter!”

Night Butterfly closed her eyes and let out a small sigh.

“Hong-yeon… this is not someone you can reason with.”

The One-Eyed Dragon smiled, baring teeth.

“So it seems.”

— Shhk—

The next instant, Night Butterfly’s head flew through the air.

“I could hardly leave alive a wench who has shamed our Cult.”
“Mistress!!!”

The dancers drew their swords and flung themselves forward as one.


“I see. That’s quite clear.”
“Yes, sir. Should there be anything further you require, you have only to say.”

The servant bowed politely and left the room.

Alone now, General Hwa Mu-hong stood with his arms folded, gazing quietly down at the desk.

A sheet of paper lay on it, covered in neat brushwork. He had gathered the pieces of information himself and set them in order. Hwa Mu-hong let his eyes settle on one of them, a byname written off to one side of the page.

Cold Moon Wanderer

“The enemy who killed the Bursting Fist Demon’s master, was it.”

The Bursting Fist Demon had come hunting the Cold Moon Wanderer in the first place, so it hung together well enough. The trouble was that at the time in question, the Cold Moon Wanderer had been at the Moyong Family.

The Cold Moon Wanderer did not kill the Bursting Fist Demon.

In that case.

“Then who killed the Bursting Fist Demon?”

Hard as it was to believe, every clue pointed to one person. Hwa Mu-hong shifted his gaze.

Moyong Gwang-seon

  • Waiter at the Peace Inn, Fallen Star Village
  • Good at cooking
  • Martial talent outstanding enough to be called a once-in-a-century genius
  • Is it really that much? Honestly, no idea. Needs verification

A waiter who had tried to fob him off with a clumsy lie, when there had been no need to lie at all.

— My respects, General.
— It’s the wrong way round.
— Sorry?
— Your hands. The wrong way round, I said.
— Ah. Right.

He was a boy clumsy enough to get even the fist-and-palm salute backwards. His claim to have only just been initiated into martial arts appeared to be true.

— I killed the Bursting Fist Demon.

And the Cold Moon Wanderer, who had not killed the Bursting Fist Demon and yet had come barging into the family head’s office to declare that he had.

What are the two of them trying to hide?

It defied belief entirely. But suppose that clumsy waiter had been the one who killed the Bursting Fist Demon.

Everything fits.

Hwa Mu-hong took up his brush and drew a great circle around Moyong Gwang-seon’s name.

“Not a simple waiter after all, it seems.”

A faint smile settled at the corner of his mouth.

“Interesting.”

  1. Anshan is a real city, about sixty miles down the road from Shenyang. The hunt has reached the boy's own province. ↩️

  2. The Tianshan range lies out on the far western edge of China, thousands of miles from Liaoning — which is exactly what she is pointing out. Nobody crosses a continent for a waiter. ↩️

#16 Chapter 16

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