The Waiter Hides a Laser
5

Chapter 5

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“…Huh?”

The customers and I stood there drenched in blood and brains, staring blankly at the murim warrior. The headless official crumpled limply to the floor. Nobody spoke. The sight was too unreal for that.

“Now it’s finally quiet.”

He grinned.

“Tell the Cold Moon Wanderer — the Bursting Fist Demon has come for his head!”

The voice of the murim warrior who had just blown an official’s head off boomed through the grim silence.

“Th-the Bursting Fist Demon!”
“What’s a public enemy of the murim doing here?”

The customers fell into a panic. But the Bursting Fist Demon was planted squarely in the doorway, so there was nothing they could do but sit there fidgeting in their seats, reading his mood. The uproarious inn of a few moments ago felt like a dream. My blood ran cold.

I have to step up.

I got to my feet.

“Gwang-seon.”
“It’s all right.”

I reassured the boss and took a few steps toward the murim warrior.

My legs were trembling. But I couldn’t back down. I had to protect our customers. If a bloodbath broke out in an inn, what customer would ever dare come back?

The bloodbath already happened. Dammit.

I wiped the blood spattered across my face and spoke to him.

“Are you looking for Great Hero Cold Moon Wanderer?”

I met the Bursting Fist Demon’s blazing eyes. Honestly, I nearly dropped where I stood. But I forced my eyes wide and held my ground.

He stared straight into my eyes and said:

“So you know the Cold Moon Wanderer.”
“I do. He stayed at our inn a while and kept the black-path thugs off us.”

Don’t shake, Gwang-seon. Stay calm, and mix the lies in with the truth.

“And where is he now?”

“As our boss told you, he’s stepped out for a while. He didn’t say why, so I don’t really—”

— Shhwiiish!

Something came flying at me. Reflexively I thrust out the wok I was holding.

— TAAANG!

The chopstick he had thrown struck the wok and ricocheted away. The customer who got to keep his head because of it stared at me, dumbfounded. Cold sweat trickled down me. That bastard really had meant to kill a man the way you’d swat a fly.

“Hoh. You blocked that? You’re no ordinary waiter.”
“I got lucky.”
“Not a chance.”

The Bursting Fist Demon looked me over with interest.

“Who are you?”
“A waiter.”
“Hao Sect, are you?”1

I didn’t answer.

“So that’s a yes.”

He talked himself into it entirely on his own, then looked at me and said:

“I’m going to ask you some questions now. Don’t get clever with me. Every time you do, another head bursts.”

My mind raced. That was the truth, no doubt about it. Would a fiend who paid no mind to the government bother minding the Hao Sect?

“I’ll ask once. Where is the Cold Moon Wanderer.”

I swallowed dryly, then spoke.

“He isn’t here. If Great Hero Cold Moon Wanderer were, he’d have come flying out long ago and taken your head off.”
“Cheeky little bastard.”

The Bursting Fist Demon laughed.

“Then where is he?”

“Once the black-path thugs stopped bothering us, he said he needed somewhere quiet to train and went up into the mountains.”
“And meals?”
“…Twice a day. I carry them up to him.”

He bared his teeth in a ghastly smile.

“Thought so.”

I bit my lip as though in frustration and squeezed my eyes shut.

“…I’ll take you to where Great Hero Cold Moon Wanderer is staying. But the moment you burst one more customer’s head, I’ll bite through my own tongue and die right here.”
“Cheeky little bastard. I like you.”

The Bursting Fist Demon laughed and walked over to me. The moment he came away from the doorway, the customers who had been holding their breath poured out of the inn.

Up close, the Bursting Fist Demon was overwhelming. God knows what he’d been fed growing up. He had to be two meters tall, and his hands the size of pot lids.

“Make food.”
“…Sorry?”
“That bastard’s got an uncanny nose for things. Show up with no food and the Cold Moon Wanderer will know something’s off.”

With no choice in the matter, I took up the wok and cooked.

“Hm. He isn’t hiding in here, is he?”
“If you have doubts, you’re welcome to search every room we have.”

And this vicious murim bastard actually did turn the kitchen and the upstairs rooms upside down before he said:

“I’ll take your word for it.”

…These goddamn murim warriors. Honestly.

I wrapped the food I’d made in a cloth, picked it up, and led the way.

“This way.”
“If this is a lie, I’ll kill you and every soul in this village besides, and the inn burns with them.”

The Bursting Fist Demon said it flatly. His words were the truth, no doubt about it.

“Gwang-seon….”

Leaving the boss’s worried gaze trailing after me, I walked out of the inn. As I went, I tapped the ring. One bar of battery left.

A single shot.

With a single shot I had to kill the Bursting Fist Demon. No mistakes allowed.


With the Bursting Fist Demon at my back, I went deep into the mountains. Then I stopped in front of a small cave that looked barely big enough for one person to squeeze into. I’d found it on my trips up to gather wild greens.

“The Cold Moon Wanderer’s in there?”
“Yes. I couldn’t tell you much, but I hear he’s doing wall-facing meditation.”

The Bursting Fist Demon jerked his chin.

“Go first.”

I stepped into the cave ahead of him, and he followed, hunched right over.

Cold sweat beaded on my skin. The hand gripping the cloth bundle was damp.

I had to end this. Me. Now.

The cave wasn’t very long, but that stretch of time felt like forever. When we reached the end of it, all that lay there were the scattered bones of some animal I couldn’t name. Having satisfied himself that there was no trace of anyone, the Bursting Fist Demon smiled savagely.

“You lied to me.”

I flung the cloth bundle away, whirled around, and thrust out my hand. The Bursting Fist Demon raised a fist like a lump of iron.

“Every last bastard who ever lied to me, I tore his mouth open and killed him.”

He was in no hurry. His enormous body plugged the cave completely. There had never been a way out.

“For you, I’ll tear the limbs off first. Slowly.”

The cave was cramped, barely big enough for one person. Cramped enough that a man the size of the Bursting Fist Demon had to come in bent right over.

Which meant there was nowhere to dodge.

“Don’t fret — the innkeeper and the rest of your villagers will be along right behind you.”

I aimed my ringed finger at him. He snorted.

“One last struggle? By all means….”

“Die.”

A blinding halo of light shot from my fingertip and punched clean through the Bursting Fist Demon’s chest.

“Kuhk…!?”

The Bursting Fist Demon’s brutal face twisted with shock. His eyes, flung wide, refused to believe what was happening.

“Kuhhk! What… is this…!”

“How should a mere peasant hope to stand against the Sovereign of the Sea of Stars?”

I sneered it right into his face.

“That’s what you get for wrecking a man’s business.”

— THUD!

The Bursting Fist Demon fell.


— Clop, clop, clop—

I gazed blankly out the window. The scenery drifted slowly past on the wind.

Then, on impulse, I looked across at the seat opposite. Big Bro Un-cheon sat with his arms folded and his back against the seat, eyes closed.

“Get some sleep. It’ll be chaos once we arrive.”
“…Yes.”

Uncanny. Could he see with his eyes shut?

I closed my eyes as he’d advised. The fine carriage the Moyong Family had sent swayed so little that sleep was actually possible. Darkness closed in, and before long I was swept up in a wave of idle thoughts.

A few days after I killed the Bursting Fist Demon, Big Bro Un-cheon came back. He didn’t ask much.

— Did you kill him?
— Yes.
— Well done.

That was all. Then he said this:

— The Moyong Family has invited you. Will you go?
— Yes.

I nodded without argument. I’m not stupid enough to keep digging my heels in at a time like this. No customer would come near the inn, and our poor boss had hurt his leg. The business was a write-off.

On top of that, I’d heard that in the gangho a debt or a grudge runs as wide and tangled as a spiderweb. Murim warriors curious about the Bursting Fist Demon’s death would come looking for me, with every question under the sun. For a start, the customers had seen him burst an official’s head, and there were people who had seen me take him up the mountain and come back alone.

I boarded the carriage with nothing but the wok. …Mine hadn’t been such a short life, and yet all that was left of it was one wok, a gift from Big Bro Un-cheon.

Of course, I wasn’t alone. The boss came too, along with the not-very-much we’d earned running the inn and whatever came of winding it up.

Like it or not,

I had already set foot in this gangho.

Putting myself under the Moyong Family’s protection was the wisest choice. They would make a good fence, one that would keep me and the boss safe from the enemies outside.

I was going to one of the great orthodox sects I’d only ever heard about, but that didn’t mean I felt good about it.

Leaving the village and the inn I’d grown so attached to unsettles me. Especially when it isn’t by my own choosing.

The Bursting Fist Demon’s death is pushing me out of the village where I was born and raised, out of the ordinary life of a waiter. Far away. Very far away….


“Why isn’t the bastard here yet?”
“Slipped off somewhere along the way again, by the look of it.”
“That half-witted Bursting Fist Demon. Master and disciple alike, both nothing but a headache. Does a taste for doing as you please get handed down too?”
“…Strange, though. He does as he pleases, granted, but he’s not one to take a direct order from the Cult lightly.”
“True enough. He’s not one to be this late, either. Ah — could he have caught word of the Cold Moon Wanderer? Gone charging off to avenge his master?”
“That would follow.”
“He can’t have been done in, surely. Master and disciple both falling to the same man — the Cult’s standing would be in tatters.”
“He isn’t one to go down easily. If he has one gift, it’s a stubborn hold on life.”
“Fair. If he thought he’d lose he’d have pulled out on the spot. He’s cunning as they come — for all that he looks like a bear.”
“Worst case, he’s taken a wound and holed up somewhere.”
“There’s only one way to find out.”
“Nothing for it. Let’s go looking.”
“Tch. I can’t stand cleaning up after him.”

A night with a round moon overhead. Two figures cut across the night sky.


How long had I slept? When I opened my eyes the scenery outside the window had changed.

“Khhhrrr….”

Beside me the boss was asleep, his foot wrapped thick with bandages.

Not a care in the world. Meanwhile some of us are worried sick.

For now it was only first aid. Once we reached the Moyong Family, he’d be able to get proper treatment.

I stared at Big Bro Un-cheon, sitting across from me. Exactly the posture I’d seen before I fell asleep. Without so much as a twitch, he moved only his mouth and said:

“Can’t sleep?”
“No.”

He cracked an eye open and glanced at my hand.

“What’s a man doing wearing a ring?”
“…Got a problem with my fashion?”
“And what’s ‘fashion’ supposed to mean?”
“It’s a thing.”

Big Bro Un-cheon looked into my eyes.

“Gwang-seon.”
“Yes, Big Bro?”
“Do you understand what it means that the Moyong Family has invited you?”
“…I do. They’ve called me in to test whether I’m worth taking into the Moyong Family, haven’t they.”
“That’s right.”

The Moyong Family was one of the Five Great Families, one of the great orthodox sects. Naturally they didn’t let just anyone in. I thought about it a moment and realized I knew less about them than I’d assumed. I’d only ever heard the name a few times, the way you hear about other people’s business.

“What sort of place is the Moyong Family?”
“Mm… I don’t know much myself. I had a connection, so I put a word in about you, that’s all.”
“Then share whatever you do know, please. You’ve got to know more than I do.”

Big Bro Un-cheon thought for a moment, then said:

“The Moyong Family is reckoned weak next to the other great orthodox sects. The general view is that their position is a bit awkward.”
“Why is that?”
“In force they lose to the Namgung Family and the Hebei Paeng Family. In brains they lose to the Jegal Family. An in-between position. Honestly, they’re as good as the bottom seat of the Five Great Families. Even so….”
“Even so, they’re a great orthodox sect in name at least. That it?”
“That’s it.”

Big Bro Un-cheon looked at me with serious eyes.

“Keep your wits about you. From the moment you set foot in the Moyong Family, you’ll be judged every second. On whether you’re the kind of talent that belongs there.”
“…”
“Not that anyone would turn away a heaven-sent prodigy like you. But even once you’re in, there’ll be expectations and pressure of every kind. The Moyong Family isn’t taking you in out of simple goodwill.”
“I’d imagine not.”
“I’ll be honest with you. It won’t be easy. If you want to run, even now, then run. I’ll help you as far as my hands reach.”

I held his gaze a moment, then smiled.

“Thank you, Big Bro.”
“For what?”

He gave me a puzzled look.

“For buying me the pan.”

I gripped the wok’s handle tight. The cool of it settled my uneasy heart.

Big Bro Un-cheon huffed a laugh.

“You ridiculous brat.”

The carriage rolled on a good while after that and arrived at its destination.

The provincial capital of Liaoning. Shenyang.


— Keeeeen— krrrik— clack-clack— vwoooom—

In a cold darkness where strange sounds echoed. Like ripples across the surface of a still lake, a small whisper spread outward.

[The shard of the Silver Radiance has found its master.]
[The Overlord of the Heavenly River has departed the graveyard of stars.]
[The Hidden Dragon has awakened at last from its long sleep.]
[For the gears that turned idle have at last begun to mesh, following the current of a fate none may defy.]
[Myriad stars, arise and make ready to receive Him.]
[All of this is for the grand and exalted return of the holy Lord.]
  1. The Hao Sect is the martial world's underclass — beggars, servants, peddlers, inn hands — barely able to fight and unmatched at knowing things. Assuming a waiter belongs to it is a compliment of sorts. ↩️

#5 Chapter 5

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