Chapter 12: An Insult To Gentility

Ka-thonk! Ka-thonk! Ka-thonk~

The ghost-faced human-skin drum sounded from the side door, and immediately a line of humans and a line of corpses came out in two rows.

At this chicken feather inn of Yinyang City, both the living and the dead were merchandise.

“Everyone, these are all our goods for today. Take a look, pick one by one. Once you’ve chosen, come up and haggle with me.”

Pockmark Chen spoke, showing his big yellow teeth. Hearing this, the wealthy buyers looked at the beauties among the living; though their expressions were dull, there was a strange charm to them. The major buyers were regulars, so they naturally knew the women’s value.

After a quick appraisal, Boss Wang, a fur trader from Liaodong, spoke first, “That one in pink and the one in green. One is a noble miss, the other a humble beauty. I like them both. Pockmark Chen, name your price.”

“Right-o, Boss Wang has a good eye. This pink-clad woman is twenty, gifted and outstanding, versed in poetry and essays, skilled in zither, chess, calligraphy, and painting — a fine piece. One thousand taels isn’t too much, right?”

“The one in green is from a small household, knows women’s needlework and embroidery, washing and cooking — truly a good family girl, suitable for a great hero. Eight hundred taels shouldn’t be too much to ask.”

Pockmark Chen described them to Boss Wang, who chuckled at the pitch, “You pockmarked bastard, you’ve got a silver tongue, making me all hot under the collar. Fine, fine, 1,800 taels, deal.”

“Deal~”

But before Pockmark Chen could finish, a middle-aged scholarly-dressed gentleman beside him interjected, “Wait, Boss Chen. Are you sure that pink-clad woman truly knows the zither, chess, calligraphy, painting, and poetry?”

“Oh, Mr. Zhang is interested too, hehe. Yes, we’ve been watching her for a long time. She has a reputation for talent in Yanggu County. Otherwise we wouldn’t have put her out for show. That would be ruining our own reputation, wouldn’t it?” Pockmark Chen said with a grin.

Mr. Zhang nodded and said: “In that case I’m interested too. I’ll add a hundred taels to have her instead. What do you say, Brother Wang?”

“Ah, I can’t allow that. I’ve never slept with a woman who can write in my life. That’s a novelty I can’t let you have. I’ll add 200 taels.”

Mr. Zhang looked slightly embarrassed and said, “Boss Wang, a literate woman doesn’t fit you. I think it’s better to let me have her instead.”

“Hehe, doesn’t fit? In what way? How do you know without taking off my pants first? Or could it be that you have eyes that can see through fabric and you know my size?”

“You, you are so uncouth!” Mr. Zhang cursed with a dark face.

Boss Wang laughed, “Hahaha… you lot of scholars are so hypocritical. You’re already here to buy a woman and still pretending to have morals? I’m crude, huh? You’re the ones who’re spineless cowards.”

“Me? You insult gentility, you insult gentility!” Mr. Zhang was furious.

Boss Wang laughed loudly, “We’re all tired of the brothel games and just want something new. So what if you’ve had a bit more education than others? Would you really buy a woman and not take her pants off, not sleep with her? Just play zither, chess, calligraphy, and painting with her?”

“I-I… we call it having harmony between the zither and lute, we call it a fleeting spring breeze. Sleep? What sleep? Only crude people like you sleep!” Mr. Zhang spat in fury.

Boss Wang burst into laughter, “Damn, no even sleeping with her, hahahaha…”

When Boss Wang said that, the people around couldn’t help laughing. Seeing the situation getting out of hand, Pockmark Chen hurriedly said, “Stop, stop, no more quarrelling. The old rule still stands: highest bidder wins. Boss Wang bids 1,200 taels; Mr. Zhang, you?”

“1,500.” Mr. Zhang held his breath.

Boss Wang laughed, “Oh, trying to outdo me in wealth? Fine! 2,000 taels!”

“You…”

Mr. Zhang hadn’t expected Boss Wang to be so flush with cash, spitting out 2,000 taels on the spot. Mr. Zhang bit his lip. No one could match that wealth. Coughing up 2,000 would affect his own life. He decided to let go and stop being stubborn.

Mr. Zhang fell silent.

So Boss Wang laughed loudly, “Chickened out, didn’t you? Why didn’t you do it sooner, you stubborn fellow? Fine, the woman who knows how to write is mine. I’ll buy a few paintings to hang at home then. Isn’t that what you call harmony, a spring breeze? I won’t be any worse. I’ll open the window, feel the breeze, make noises with the women and sleep. A sign of elegance! Truly refined, hahahaha…”

“Pah! That’s an insult to gentility, shameless, shameless!”

Mr. Zhang stamped his foot and cursed, but his recitation of the sages’ classics constrained him. He could only mutter some bland lines like “an insult to gentility” and “shameless,” unlike Boss Wang from Liaodong who spat obscenities with flourish.

Those around wanted to laugh but it would be “an insult to gentility,” and not laughing felt stifling, so they could only cough dryly and endure.

“Alright, then. This pink-clad woman is sold to Boss Wang for 2,000 taels. Anyone else want to choose?”

Pockmark Chen prompted, then someone raised a hand: “Boss, we can only look and we don’t know the goods’ bodies so we can’t judge the price. May we go up and handle them to try?”

Pockmark Chen waved his hand. “Impossible. The beauties are all virgins, how can you handle them? If you touch them, they’ve lost their virtue. If someone is particular about that, I won’t be able to sell them! You’re ruining my business!”

Pockmark Chen frowned. At that moment someone beside him cupped his hands and said, “Boss Chen, my brother is here for the first time and doesn’t know the rules, so please don’t blame him.”

Pockmark Chen glanced at the man and said, “This time we’ll let it pass. Next time, if anyone makes such unreasonable demands again, we won’t serve them ever.”

“Yes, yes.”

Everyone nodded and resumed picking. In a short while, all the buyers had chosen their purchases, paid in full, and left with them.

Li Chaosheng and the old temple keeper kept silent, hiding at the base of the wall in the grass, watching as several merchants left with their purchases.

“We just let them go like that?”

“It’s fine, the road down the mountain is blocked by the garrison. They’re walking straight into a trap.”

Hearing this, Li Chaosheng relaxed a little. After the crowd left, the two returned to the windowsill and saw a few people in coarse cloth still inside. One of them approached Pockmark Chen, cupped his hands and said, “Boss Chen.”

Pockmark Chen glanced at him. “Here to select corpses?”

“Exactly.”

Pockmark Chen then looked at the corpses draped in white cloth and said, “Fifth Master.”

Fifth Master waved his hand and the cloths fell away, revealing several pitiful female corpses. From outside, Li Chaosheng and the old temple keeper faintly smelled the stench of decay.

Pockmark Chen pointed to a waxy, yellowish corpse that hadn’t rotted and said, “I suggest you choose this one. She died just the day before yesterday. When we exhumed her I preserved her against decay. The muscles still have some elasticity, so if used sparingly, she can last one or two months and relieve your lovesickness.”