Chapter 45: Great Work Startles The Whole Audience

“Oh, some of you even know me, how embarrassing, how embarrassing,”

Zhu Caisheng smiled and cupped his hands, then looked up at the head maid on the upper floor and said, “I’ll recite a poem.”

The head maid nodded and said, “Young master, please.”

Zhu Caisheng stroked his greased mustache, eyes roaming the surroundings as if preparing to find a subject for a poem. Suddenly he saw the steamed carp at Li Chaosheng’s table that had been bitten, and he immediately laughed.

“Got it. Today I will take the steamed carp at the neighboring table as my topic and compose a poem,”

Steamed carp?

Everyone was stunned. Sure, you could make a poem about steamed carp. Then what about braised pork knuckle or roasted duck heads? Couldn’t those be subjects too?

But would those still be poems? Wouldn’t they become recipes?

People thought this and wore faces that enjoyed the spectacle. Zhu Caisheng stroked his mustache and paced in place, nodding as if he would produce a poem in seven steps.

“Bit the fishhook and threw away its life.”

The first line was so shocking that Li Chaosheng almost spat out his wine. He forced himself to look at Zhu Caisheng. Zhu Caisheng looked confident, holding a folding fan, and with a sway in his step delivered the second line.

“On the chopping board it takes a cut.”

At this line everyone present gave a thumbs-up. Well, he was a cook. The description was detailed, even mentioning ‘takes a cut.’

“Lying on the platter still asking, why steamed and not braised?”

“Bravo~”

After hearing Zhu Caisheng’s last two lines, Tang Zishu stood and applauded, shouting “Good.” The people around were puzzled. What’s good about it? Was that a poem? Though each line had seven characters, it was more like a witty remark. Why question why it’s steamed and not braised? That’s just how the cook made it. What business was it of yours?

But Tang Zishu hurriedly encouraged, “Brother Caisheng, what a great talent. You added another masterpiece to the poetry club. You vividly depicted the steamed carp and even posed a critical question, why steamed and not braised. It’s a finishing touch, a line rarely seen since ancient times.”

“Oh my, Brother Zishu flatters me. Brother Zishu’s ‘Artificial Hill’ is very vivid too. If you go back and polish it, it will certainly spread across the four seas and be famed throughout the world,”

Zhu Caisheng was repeatedly modest, and in the blink of an eye the two inflated each other’s egos. The people around felt sickened. If you can’t write poems, don’t write. If it’s garbage, don’t praise it; have you no shame?

Li Chaosheng was genuinely amused. When he saw Zhu Caisheng look his way, he couldn’t resist playing around. He picked up the steamed carp from the table and handed it over, smiling, “Congratulations, congratulations. This is for you.”

Zhu Caisheng was delighted to have a fan give him something and waved his hands repeatedly, “My brother, you flatter me, you flatter me.”

He happily accepted the steamed carp and kindly asked Li Chaosheng, “Should I inscribe it?”

“No, no.”

Li Chaosheng hurriedly waved his hand and shook his head in refusal. Zhu Caisheng looked left and right and said, “Right, there’s no brush or ink here. Come by our poetry club when you have time and I’ll inscribe it for you.”

“All right, farewell, farewell.”

Li Chaosheng shook his head and returned to the table. The old temple keeper glanced at Li Chaosheng and said, “You’re too impulsive. You gave away the steamed carp over a damned poem. If he gets carried away later and composes ‘On the Knuckle’ or ‘In Praise of Roast Chicken,’ won’t all the dishes at your table belong to him?”

Li Chaosheng laughed, cupped his hands and said, “Hahaha… I didn’t think it through, I didn’t think it through, hahaha…”

Li Chaosheng kept waving his hands as Zhou Bo interjected, “It’s fine. Judging by him, he doesn’t often produce poems of this level. Otherwise he wouldn’t be so excited.”

The old temple keeper chuckled at that and said, “Your mouth is really cutting.”

The head maid upstairs gave a look of speechless exasperation but still went back to report to Miss, “Miss, there is another fine piece.”

“Recite it.”

“‘Steamed Carp’—Bit the fishhook and threw away its life. On the chopping board it takes a cut. Lying on the platter still asking, why steamed and not braised?”

“Pfft… cough cough~”

The young lady had been sipping tea and suddenly burst out laughing, spitting it. A maid quickly handed her a handkerchief to wipe.

“Hahaha… The first one is a sack of muddy grass, the next one a food pail. This is killing me with laughter. I can’t, I’m going home.”

“Yes.”

The head maid bowed gracefully and withdrew. Outside she still had to cover for Miss. If Miss called someone a ‘food pail,’ she could not echo that, so she had to smooth things over.

“Ahem… Mr. Zhu, Miss heard your poem. The lines are simple but not without wit. However it lacks some atmosphere and needs more polishing, so she will not receive you today,”

Hearing the head maid’s words, Zhu Caisheng looked regretful and said, “Ah, Miss Summer Lotus truly has high standards. Very well, I will polish it and trouble you another day.”

After saying this Zhu Caisheng sat down. Tang Zishu looked at the short man who had been chatting with a young maid and said, “Hey, Brother Wen, Brother Zhu and I have each composed a poem. Won’t you compose one as well to honor the fame of the Four Talents of Yanggu?”

At that moment this Brother Wen was playing with the maid, saying, “Come, a kiss, a kiss.”

But when Tang Zishu mentioned it he froze for a moment and said, “Me too?”

Tang Zishu smiled and said, “What else?”

The maid nearby also egged him on, “Do one, do one.”

Then Brother Wen stood and said, “If you want one, then I’ll give one.”

When he stood up he was only about 1.5 meters tall, truly short. Someone whispered, “Among the Four Great Talents of Yanggu, the third, Wen Tao, isn’t worth much.”

At this Wen Buzhi stood, glanced around and said, “I know of the two brothers’ great works, they are truly masterpieces. I also have a poem, though it cannot compare to the two of you. It is an old piece.”

Basically it was a poem written by someone else, not like Tang Zishu’s or Zhu Caisheng’s improvised ones. Tang Zishu listened and said, “It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter. Good poetry isn’t concerned with that. Recite it for us.”

Wen Buzhi then smiled and said, “The two brothers just did seven-character lines. I’ll compose a five-character poem.”

“Ahem ahem ahem~ The poem is titled ‘Manhood’ and is dedicated to all the brothers present.”

Wen Buzhi cupped his hands to those around him and began.

“Autumn night thickens, you all come to this place, reaching out to touch the kiln, both enter the cave together.”

When this poem was out, the whole hall went silent. Good heavens, everyone muttered. The first two poems were shameless at worst, but this third was pure lewdness. The poem sounded filthy, especially the last line. It was not something to think about closely.

Everyone sat quietly, exchanging looks without speaking. The poem was revolting. The head maid on the second floor blushed prettily, quietly huffed, then scowled and said, “This poem by Young Master Wen is fit only for private talk and does not count. Do any of you have better poems?”

At this, the head maid did not bother to report and slipped away. If Miss heard this poem, Young Master Wen would likely get a good beating!