Chapter 29: Princess De’an

In his previous life, the thing that left the deepest impression on Fang Rui’s memory was stinky tofu. It smelled unbearably foul, like something left in a stinking ditch all day and then fished up again, but when he actually ate it, the taste was completely the opposite of its smell, very delicious. The first time he ate it, he consumed what would normally be a day’s worth of food.

If stinky tofu was the most memorable thing from his previous life, then in this life it was probably the dumpling-like noodles Shen Yu made. Or rather, she had intended to make noodles, but in her hands they became lumps of dough, and somehow she managed to express sour, sweet, bitter, spicy and salty all at once in those lumps. Shen Yu was truly a talent.

How much seasoning had Shen Yu actually put in when he turned to boil water!

Even if she held a grudge, she shouldn’t play this kind of trick on him.

After one bite, Fang Rui looked at Shen Yu, trying to find any abnormality in her expression to prove she was deliberately teasing him. But Shen Yu’s face was exactly like a child who had just learned to write their own name, half frightened, half expectant as she showed it to her father, hoping for praise, not rejection.

Seeing that expression, Fang Rui shoveled the remaining large half of a dough lump on his chopsticks into his mouth, and casually chewed a few times. The sour, sweet, bitter, spicy and salty filled his mouth. He swallowed the lump, his face contorted, and he said to Shen Yu, “Quick, give me water!”

Hearing that, Shen Yu hurriedly ladled a full bowl of water over. Before she could set it on the table, Fang Rui snatched it from her hands and drank more than half of it in one gulp.

The mixed flavors in his mouth were finally much diluted.

“Is it really that bad?” Shen Yu asked suspiciously as she watched Fang Rui gulp water and glanced at the huge bowl of dough lumps.

Although Fang Rui’s expression was twisted, he shook his head repeatedly and said, “I just burned my mouth, the flavor is still very good.”

That was the biggest lie Fang Rui had ever told.

To prove he was telling the truth, Fang Rui picked up another lump, blew on it, and put the whole thing into his mouth. If it hadn’t been so large, he would have swallowed it whole. Following the logic that finishing sooner means less suffering, he ate very quickly. After drinking the last sip of soup, his stomach suddenly began to cramp. Fang Rui clutched his stomach, looked at Shen Yu, put his hands on the table to stand, and said, “I’m stuffed, I’m going to the latrine.”

His steps were steady until he left the kitchen. Once outside the doorway his feet seemed to catch the wind and he dashed toward the latrine.

Seeing Fang Rui’s panicked back, Shen Yu became suspicious. She stood, went to the stove, scooped up a small broken piece of dough with a spoon, smelled it, put it lightly to her lips to taste, then quickly spat it out, her features all scrunched up.

Was this really made by her? How could it be so awful?

Thinking of Jia Ming having just finished that huge bowl and insisting it was delicious, Shen Yu burst out laughing. A very uncharitable laugh indeed.

He had asked to eat the noodles she made and hadn’t specified how they should turn out. She made them, and whether they were good was another matter.

Shen Yu had never been in a kitchen since childhood and no one had taught her how to cook. She had always been the eater, not the cook. She couldn’t even tell salt from sugar, let alone oil from vinegar. She only knew that everything in the kitchen’s seasoning shelf was edible, and unable to decide what to put in, she put in everything. She also had no sense of proportion and added things by feel. So the dumpling-like noodles she produced had every taste: sour, sweet, bitter, spicy, and salty.

That night, Fang Rui made ten or so trips to the latrine in succession and almost missed the main force returning to the capital in the morning.

When Fang Rui returned to the palace, Rong Tai saw His Majesty’s pale complexion and weakened body. If he hadn’t known that His Majesty only liked Lord Shen, he might have truly suspected His Majesty of fooling around with other men behind Lord Shen’s back.

“Your Majesty, what’s wrong?”

Rong Tai helped Fang Rui to a chair. As soon as Fang Rui sat, he sprang up again as if his butt had been hurt.

Rong Tai’s gaze slipped secretly to behind Fang Rui, showing a somewhat contemplative expression.

If His Majesty wasn’t fooling around behind Lord Shen’s back, then he should be with Lord Shen. But if he was with Lord Shen, His Majesty should be a top, not a bottom. Yet judging by His Majesty’s posture, he looked like the bottom. Who would have thought Lord Shen, who appeared slim and frail, would have such boldness? How impressive.

Rong Tai had never known what ‘top’ and ‘bottom’ meant before, but since His Majesty had asked him to deal with that wooden box, his curiosity got the better of him and he couldn’t help turning the first page, then the second…

So that’s how men make love with men. It truly opened his eyes.

His understanding of His Majesty rose to another level. His Majesty’s receptiveness was truly high.

And he was willing to be the lower one.

“Rong Tai, Rong Tai!?”

Fang Rui called twice before Rong Tai came to and replied, “Your Majesty, any orders?”

“Fetch me a soft cushion to sit on.”

Hearing this, Rong Tai, with mixed thoughts, found an especially soft cushion for Fang Rui.

His Majesty is truly great, willing to abase himself for Lord Shen.

Only then did Fang Rui sit down cautiously. From Zichen Hall came two calls, “My brother, my brother, it’s De’an.”

Fang Rui murmured in his heart: De’an*…*

Fang Rui looked at Rong Tai and said, “Have De’an wait a moment. I’ll change clothes before letting her in.”

After Rong Tai withdrew, Fang Rui changed his clothes. No sooner had he finished than De’an burst in, murmuring, “My brother, they all say you’re gravely ill! What’s going on?!”

De’an wore pink palace robes, with two golden hair ornaments inlaid with colored butterflies, as if they were fluttering among flowers, very much like her lively and active temperament. Her face was small and delicate, her features refined, and especially her eyes, which were very lively.

Seeing such a vivacious and adorable De’an again felt like a different world to Fang Rui.

When she saw her brother, De’an lost control for a moment and put on a crying face, using a whiny tone to look at Fang Rui’s expression and say, “My brother, why are you so pale?”

The pale-faced Fang Rui hesitated. How could he admit it was because of his own sin that he had run to the latrine all night? It was fortunate he wasn’t completely exhausted, he was just a bit pale.

From now on… better not let Shen Yu cook. Her food was more poisonous than poison itself. Poison at least had an antidote, but hers had no cure.

When Rong Tai heard Princess De’an say that, he too fell silent. His Majesty’s secrets were not for him to speak of.

Fang Rui and Rong Tai tacitly kept silent, so silent that anyone else would read something indecent into it. So De’an, sensing the atmosphere, immediately jumped to conclusions. She cried out “Boohoo!” and sobbed with a pout, “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have gone to Mingyuan Villa to avoid the heat! I should have stayed in the palace with you, my brother, and you wouldn’t have become like this.”

Fang Rui was speechless.

Rong Tai too.

Where on earth had De’an’s imagination gone?!

After a long while, Fang Rui finally clarified to De’an that he had merely caught a chill and was much better.

Sitting down slowly, Fang Rui asked, “After you returned, did you go to pay respects to the Empress Dowager?”

At the mention of the Empress Dowager, De’an sulked, “You think I could avoid paying respects? I went to her Anyi Palace for a token visit. She has always looked at me displeasingly anyway. My brother! When the time comes, don’t listen to the Empress Dowager’s advice and marry me off to a foreign state, I will not marry there.”

Fang Rui… suddenly felt a little guilty.

“Your brother promises: when the time comes, you can choose your own husband, and pick until you’re satisfied.”

“Really?!” Hearing she could choose her own husband, De’an’s eyes lit up with delight.

Looking at his sister’s blossoming smile, Fang Rui asked puzzledly, “De’an, you… seem very happy.”

Realizing she had been a bit too pleased with herself, De’an immediately wiped the smile away, pressed her lips together, and shook her head repeatedly.

Fang Rui suddenly realized De’an was already sixteen, the age when women could not be kept in the palace indefinitely. She must have someone in mind. If it were an earnest, ambitious, and responsible young man, he might even act as matchmaker and arrange a marriage for her.

Just as he was about to ask which young man she had in mind, a eunuch’s announcement came from outside Zichen Hall, “Your Majesty, Shen Yu, Lord Shen, is requesting an audience outside the palace.”

He had returned to the capital with Shen Yu, and they parted at the city gate. As soon as he reached the palace, Shen Yu arrived right behind him. Had she not returned first to the Grand Guardian’s residence?

“Admit Shen Yu into the palace,” Fang Rui told the eunuch outside. Turning his gaze back to De’an, he was about to tell her to step aside until Shen Yu had left so they could continue their talk, but upon hearing Shen Yu’s name the girl’s eyes lit up brighter than the moon.

De’an couldn’t hide her excitement and said, “My brother! Lord Shen isn’t leaving this time, is he?!”

Fang Rui gulped. Why did he have the feeling, a distinct impression, that his sister had taken a fancy to Shen Yu?

“Then, while Lord Shen is in the capital, could De’an invite you and Sister Ajiu to go out to the countryside for an outing together?”

It was not an illusion!

She had clearly taken a liking to Shen Yu!

What charm did Shen Yu possess to captivate both men and women? It was one thing that she had enchanted him, but to have also enchanted his sister!

Fang Rui looked at De’an very seriously and called sternly, “De’an.”

Startled by the sudden seriousness, De’an paused and blankly replied, “Hm?”

“You should indeed be married off to a foreign state.”

De’an wailed, “You’re really not my biological brother!!!”

Fang Rui thought he had to come up with some plan to remove Shen Yu from the position of De’an’s beloved, otherwise… competing with his own sister for a woman was somewhat absurd.

Fang Rui stood up to send her away, but suddenly felt he had missed something. He looked at De’an and asked, “Who did you just say you’d go out with for the outing?”

De’an puckered her lips, a little petulant, “Who else could it be besides Lord Shen?”

Fang Rui frowned and asked, “Besides Shen Yu, and besides me, and besides you, who else?”

De’an immediately smiled. “When I was at Mingyuan Summer Villa, I met Sister Ajiu.”

Fang Rui’s eyes asked, “Princess Lou Ajiu of Dali?”

De’an nodded twice. “Yes, Princess Ajiu.”

Having confirmed that she indeed meant Princess Lou Ajiu of Dali, Fang Rui turned his head and let his gaze fall on Rong Tai.

Rong Tai, puzzled by the stare, simply asked, “Your Majesty, any orders?”

Fang Rui shook his head to push that thought away, looked back at De’an, and said, “Alright, pick a time next time and we’ll go out for an outing together.”