Chapter 17

They had underestimated me quite a bit. The background reason they chose coercion over appeasement had a lot to do with the fact that the Count had never shown me any respect in the way he treated me.

If the Count had acted with even a shred of sincerity in any of his flowery words, they would never have dared to treat me like this.

Bad man, bad bastard. A parasite-like guy. If you were going to ruin yourself, why drag me into it and make me suffer this much? I prayed that his soul would burn in the infinite hell for aeons.

The presence of my parents’ home, the Melas family, served as some sort of backing, but as my father said, it didn’t hold much sway in the territory, the very heart of the Lallanne family.

I sat in the Count’s office, swallowing the persistent sense of being overwhelmed, and agonized.

The biggest problem I faced was, without a doubt, the successor. There were three candidates put forward by the collateral branch, all of them young puppets pushed forward by the demands of their parents or grandparents.

What happens after I choose one of them? What would happen to my safety then? Would they try to kill me at once, thinking they’d seen all they needed to see? Or would they show minimal respect, considering the loyalty of me choosing them? Amidst the chaotic vortex, I couldn’t be sure of anything.

That day, too, was a day I barely survived, carrying a burden and worries heavy enough to kill. Lost in thought, I walked through the mansion and arrived in front of a certain room. Realizing late where this place was, I was so flabbergasted that I let out a dry laugh.

They say that even if you want to run away, a homing instinct takes over, but to think of returning here—I thought myself mad, but when I pondered it carefully, it was surprisingly understandable. Well, it wouldn’t be strange even if I had gone slightly insane from the constant pressure.

Thinking that way, I no longer felt fear or discomfort. It was all in the past anyway. I was already on a leash, and I couldn’t imagine anything worse than this concerning the god.

I pushed the heavy door and went inside. The room, left in a cold state, was exactly as it had been back when I was dragged by the Count and thrown before the Master. If I had to point out a difference, it was just that a bit more dust had accumulated.

Though it was a room with nothing but the summoning circle anyway. It was a space that was no different from a prison without a single window.

I looked around with a strange sense of sentimentality, then stepped firmly onto the “crude” summoning circle where I had first faced the Master.

“Hmm, crude, how crude. To think I responded to something like this.”

And what did I do? Right, I lifted both arms into the air and clapped once above my head.

Why?

Well, why did I do that? I probably wanted to correct the crude thing. I didn’t know the context of why I actually clapped, but at that moment, it felt natural, so I acted without any doubt.

Before long, a blinding light burst forth from between my clapped palms.

A few days later, strange things began to happen in the Lallanne territory.

First of all, the successor candidates died one by one for no reason. When the first candidate died, the second and third sides suspected each other, but when they both collapsed and died suddenly as well, that suspicion turned toward me. However, they couldn’t take any action right away.

That was because the people who had been bullying me began to die one by one afterward. Whether they called a doctor or a priest, they couldn’t find the cause. To suspect a contagious disease, everyone else around them was perfectly fine.

Those who had been standing their ground and pushing me were beginning to hesitate. Even those who had been pointing at me, nitpicking about the “flaw” of being a rejected Saint candidate—a long-forgotten matter—and talking about my qualifications as the Countess, began to shut their mouths in front of me.

I hadn’t done anything, yet they began to fear me. From some point, they stopped using the derogatory term “rejected Saint” and started calling me “Messenger,” and for some reason, the people of the territory began to believe that if they were hated by me, they would be hated by god.

About three years passed while the surroundings organized themselves and grew quiet, even though I hadn’t made an effort.

I looked up at the extinguished chandelier in the empty mansion. And I thought that all of this was truly quite coincidental.

F.

I sensed the light footsteps approaching behind me, but I didn’t bother to react. No matter how much I ignored her, she would talk to me anyway. She was the nation’s biggest busybody.

“It’s snowing today, too.”

I didn’t reply and swept back my hair, which had stuck to me, damp from the rain. It was raining here. It had been raining for five days already, so it was truly tedious weather.

Therefore, “snow” referred to the Lallanne territory, trapped far away inside a barrier. The sight of white snow whirling inside the barrier looked like a giant snow globe.

“It’s so beautiful when viewed from the outside. I wonder what life is like inside there?”

What do you mean, what is it like? It must be hell.

Iel truly hates the cold. Inside there must be a living hell for her.

Well, that’s assuming she’s alive, of course.

It was already hell, and this busybody was using useless words to make the mood feel even more like hell. I wished she’d just disappear.

“I heard you didn’t eat anything today.”

Then the busybody set down a covered bowl next to me. Even though it smelled like perfectly fine food, I felt such a repulsion that I felt like throwing up.

“Get rid of it.”

“Felix.”

“I said get rid of it because it smells like rot. I won’t touch anything you give me even if I die.”

“…”

Even after I said this much, if she intends to keep trying to take care of me, then conversely, it must mean she wants me to starve to death. What a sinister woman.

She should have just stayed locked up in the Temple, acting noble as she always did—I don’t know why she had to come all the way here to annoy me, as if there was something to be gained. She clearly knows I hate her, so this must be for the purpose of upsetting me on purpose.

Only after the busybody, a woman who is also publicly called a Saint, left, did a colleague who had been watching to see when they could talk to me approach slowly.

“I got word from Ugurtz. He said he barely managed to meet the quantity. He said he’d be arriving soon.”

“Really? That’s good.”

“…Are you truly thinking of going inside there?”

“Yeah, I am?”

“Honestly, I don’t understand you or Ugurtz.”

“Do you have to understand?”

“I’m just worried about you.”

“That’s why. Whether you’re worried or not, I have no interest.”

Because of what happened three years ago, I had come to detest the meddling that people call “worry,” so I drew a line even more firmly at my colleague’s words. If I was interrupted again this time, I was truly thinking of killing someone.

“Ha… this brat. Even as you grow older, you’re just endlessly ill-mannered.”

“Did you contribute anything to helping me grow up this big? You who have nothing to your name.”

“Yeah, I don’t, you bastard. Go! Go and freeze to death or not! Do whatever you want!”

“Ugh, ugh!” Expressing his frustration loudly, my colleague turned away.

I snorted and changed my sitting posture. Just then, a box bumped against my hand. It was something my colleague had thrown and left behind.

When I opened the lid, dried food was inside. I took it out, tossed it into my mouth, and fixed my gaze back toward the Lallanne territory beyond the barrier.

I still regret it today.

I shouldn’t have gone back to the capital that day. I should have gone to the Lallanne territory with Iel. I can’t stand how pathetic I am, agonizing over why finishing up a job that was already done was so important that I had to drag my ass to the capital, only to end up sitting here like a fool for three years.

I should have just told my colleagues to handle it themselves back then. Why? Why? Why?

It was truly sudden, without even a premonition, but when the barrier was first erected, I thought I’d be able to go get her soon. So, I hoped Iel wouldn’t forget me and would wait. Even back then, I was more worried about her turning her eyes to another man.

I didn’t even imagine the possibility that we would never meet again. I would break that damn barrier, or pass through it, or do something, anything! I thought if I put in enough effort, there would eventually be a way to cross it.

But I couldn’t find a way. Furthermore, when I saw the faces of mages, priests, and even the Saint—whom I had hated so much I wanted to tear her to pieces—shaking their heads after I had even relied on them, unable to find a suitable solution, I felt myself to be extremely pathetic. It felt like I had returned to that beggar brat from my childhood for the first time in a while.

I still can’t do anything for Iel. I am powerless then and now.