Chapter 39

In cases where physical ability is overwhelmingly superior, one often finds the correct answer through sensory intuition, even without knowledge related to mystical energy. This was precisely what Felix had done this time.

He had instinctively found the answer first and fit the reasoning in later. It was similar to how the Saint would prophesy first and then invent an explanation to fit it. However, Felix himself didn’t seem to realize that he had improvised the reason to suit the circumstances.

In any case, Felix’s actions were, as a result, the correct answer. He had denied the Main God by the act of carving out the flesh where the mark had been. Furthermore, after using that act itself as an offering, he had completed the sacrificial ritual by begging for my forgiveness afterward.

This is equivalent to a ritual of human sacrifice.

Gods do not receive compensation. This is because nothing can be of equal value to the blessing of God.

No matter how much money you pour into the Temple, God does not receive it. Also, just because humans perform rituals by slaughtering animals, it does not mean God receives the offering itself.

Donations are used for Temple operating expenses, and the offerings are divided and eaten among themselves after the ritual ends. In the end, everything humans consider to have been offered is merely returned to humans.

Therefore, God does not receive compensation; they observe the sincerity of the participants.

“How much are you willing to sacrifice, and how far are you prepared to go for my sake?”

It is the common question that God asks to weigh the value of an inferior being. It means that no matter how grandiose the ritual, it is eventually nothing more than an effort to answer that question. Therefore, one who understands the essence can efficiently distinguish what is valuable and what is useless when performing rituals.

However, Felix was clearly someone who knew nothing. He hadn’t obtained plausible advice from the Saint, either. Yet, he answered the query brilliantly. The fact that the noise inside of my head had gone quiet would be the proof of that.

Still, a corner of my heart remained pained. My human part felt sorry for him. If I had grasped the situation sooner, I might have been able to ease his heartache.

After sealing the Master, I had thought that if I did nothing from then on, no more problems would arise. But the result was this. Even when I did nothing, the very fact of my existence made things difficult for Felix. I had twisted the blessing he received and plunged him into misfortune instead.

That fact was truly sad.

If Felix had been a person with no connection to me, nothing would have happened whether he received the blessing prayer or not. The reason I felt unpleasant was because, deep down, I considered Felix to be “my person.”

It is not that I have no sense of injustice. As a human, and as a lover, I merely felt a perfectly natural possessiveness. It wasn’t as if the magnitude of my desire was that great, either. I truly loved Felix in a very ordinary way.

Isn’t it the same for everyone that greed attaches itself to love because one loves? One must have that greed to be able to mingle and commune with their beloved. It is equivalent to the fuel that originates in the process of cultivating an affectionate relationship more beautifully.

However, because my soul had surpassed the stature of a human, that greed became a problem. The desire itself, the wanting, had eventually accepted him as my kin. The ritual of kin would have been easily recognized as the act of mingling our bodies.

I now know the reason why the fragment laughed while looking at Felix so much.

I have two soul fragments; one is the fragment of the Count of Lallanne, and the other is the avatar fragment of the Master. Among them, it was the Master’s fragment that exerted a particularly heavy influence on my emotions.

The fragment of the Count of Lallanne had already been perfectly consumed by the avatar before it was consumed by me, so it had no will. However, the process of integration between me and the avatar had not been as perfect as it was with the Count of Lallanne. It was because I adopted assimilation as the method of integration.

Although it had been an unavoidable choice due to external interference, in the end, that caused the hierarchy and the stature of existence to be overturned.

Although the root of the soul was occupied by the original me, Iel, it became a semi-coexistent state where I could not completely silence the avatar fragment that had been pushed to second place.

The fragment’s emotions are inevitably volatilized as they are pushed aside by my emotions. However, at the very moment they were ignited, they exerted a considerable influence. What does that mean? It means that recently, the avatar fragment was so excited every time it saw Felix that it didn’t know what to do with itself.

Even without my intent, it had grasped the structure of a relationship where Felix was destined to suffer, and it was so delighted by that fact that it couldn’t hold it back.

The avatar fragment hates Felix. It believes that everything went wrong because of Felix. It would feel refreshed if it could kill him and get rid of him right now, but as long as Iel’s soul loves Felix, that is an unachievable wish.

In the midst of that, it had learned an unexpected fact all on its own, so I wonder how much fun it must have been having all this time. It struggled quite a bit, expressing only emotions while suppressing its consciousness to the limit so that I wouldn’t catch on to its thoughts. It is truly a pitiable yet cheeky thing. Just because it wasn’t a threat didn’t mean I should just let it slide.

“Iel.”

Suddenly, Felix covered the back of my hand with one hand. Only then could I emerge from the sea of thoughts filled with melancholy.

“Are you alright?”

“Yes. I’m alright. I just had something to think about.”

I rose from my seat, pretending to be nonchalant. I went to the bedroom, pulled out the sword I had kept under the bed, and walked out into the living room. Felix wore a puzzled expression.

“What is that?”

“I went to a hunting gathering with the Young Master of Melas, my stepbrother, a while ago. It’s the prize I won there.”

I placed the sword on the dining table.

“It’s a gift.”

“For me?”

“Yes. Honestly, I don’t know if it’s an item that suits you well. Since I don’t know much about weapons. I just chose one that looked similar to the sword you carry around.”

To be precise, I had wanted a weapon called a sword, and Leonis had chosen the one that looked the most useful among the displayed swords. However, that didn’t mean Leonis’s choice was necessarily the correct answer. Since everyone has different characteristics, it might be useful for Leonis but mediocre for Felix.

So, I told him in advance that there was no need to force himself to use something that didn’t fit just because he was trying to be considerate. I also told him that if he got hurt even more because of the sword I gave him, I would regret the very act of gifting it to my dying day.

“So, use your best judgment to decide whether to use it or not. I won’t be upset if you don’t use it.”

I just want you to be safe at all times. That was all I wanted from Felix right now.

Felix lifted the sword in silence and drew the blade. After examining it for quite a while, he sheathed it and looked at me.

“…Thank you.”

He kept his mouth shut for a moment before suddenly clearing his throat softly. He gave a positive assessment, saying that, at first glance, it looked like a good sword. However, he also added that he couldn’t make a precise judgment yet, as he had to swing it around a bit to see if it personally suited him well. I smiled and nodded.

“Yes.”

“A while ago.”

“Hm?”

“Do you remember asking me to think of something I wanted?”

“Umm—”

I deliberately drew out my voice as I observed Felix’s expression. He didn’t look particularly expectant even while asking. He probably figured that since it wasn’t a significant matter, it wouldn’t matter if I had forgotten. But I remembered. It was when I was an inn employee. When I had interpreted the meaning of “I’ll return” differently.

“I remember.”

I answered a bit primly, as teasing him wasn’t much fun. Felix asked as if it were unexpected, “Really?”

“Yes. It was when we said goodbye for the first time, right?”

Although that question had eventually petered out when we had a huge fight after Felix returned, I definitely remembered it for sure.

Felix scratched his cheek with his finger and avoided my eyes.

“Then, have you thought of anything?”

“Are you going to buy it for me?”

“Yes…”

“It won’t be easy, you know?”

“I’ll try.”

Since his somewhat shy appearance was cute, I wanted to tease him a little more. So, I crossed my arms and said artfully, “But you emptied your entire fortune to buy items not that long ago, right? If you want to get what I want, isn’t it impossible for you right now?”

Felix’s eyes trembled violently as if he had heard something he hadn’t anticipated.

“…How expensive could it possibly be?”

“Even if you could buy it… What good would it do if you went broke again because of that? I’m the only one who loses if I have to feed and support you.”

Ah—pointless, completely pointless. I shrugged my shoulders and sighed. Felix quickly became despondent and buried his head on the table.