Chapter 43

Ah, if Ugurtz had kicked Felix out as soon as he discovered him, things might have turned into a bitter enmity instead. Back then, I was too young to even think about letting Ugurtz know of Felix’s existence. I’d just assumed it was my house. I never even imagined that I’d need permission to give away my own home.

When I was little, Ugurtz’s sphere of influence felt massive. At the time, every piece of land I stepped on belonged to him. But thinking about it now, it’s quite possible that was just a childhood delusion. Doesn’t the world feel a bit bigger when you’re small? It might have been an overestimation.

Or, it was possible that his territory had been swallowed by other powers. Since quite a lot of time had passed, it would be plausible for the power structure to have changed long ago. So, even if there were some connection between Ugurtz and Felix, it might be insufficient to try anything with it now.

I silently bit my lip. If I hadn’t been able to calmly sort out my thoughts, I might have accidentally brought up Ugurtz. It wasn’t that I intended to deceive Felix. It was just that I wasn’t even sure if Felix remembered me, and since he had never brought up stories from those days himself, there had never been a chance to belatedly act like I knew.

Above all, since I’d associated the boy I met in my childhood with Felix only after the assimilation, it felt awkward to act like I knew now. If I had remembered when I was an inn employee, I would have brought it up long ago. I think it’s a bit too late now. Since mentioning it felt even stranger, the words simply wouldn’t come out.

“By the way, why are you planning to go to the Lallanne ruins?”

“Huh? Ah… because there’s something I need to check.”

“What is it?”

“Something like the anomalous phenomena that occurred there.”

“Aah. I suppose, that place was quite chaotic, too.”

“Do you know anything about it?”

“Only as much as anyone else does.”

Since I was busy with other things back then, I didn’t even know as much as everyone else. It was difficult to expect detailed information from Felix, who wasn’t even an adventurer, but perhaps it would be better to at least grasp the basics in advance.

“The Lallanne territory and its vicinity generally suffered from abnormal weather. The sense of seasons was all mixed up. Because of that, the first thing to go belly-up was probably the farming, right?”

He held his chin, lost in thought, and spoke.

“It wouldn’t compare to the Lallanne territory residents whose life or death couldn’t even be confirmed… but I understand that the residents living nearby had a hard time, too. The Temple dispatched the Saint and did quite a bit of relief work. You couldn’t possibly do anything amidst the erratic weather, so in the end, most of them moved to other regions.”

That was why he said that currently, almost no one lived in the area around the Lallanne ruins.

“Since it’s a land where human traffic has almost ceased, except for adventurers, monsters or something like that might be occupying it by now.”

Was it that serious? My heart grew rapidly heavy. It was to the point where I felt breathless for a moment, so I couldn’t say anything for a while.

I know this self-reproach won’t last long. Since I don’t have the capacity to bear the full weight of it, I’ll eventually trim away everything but what I can endure. If I don’t do that, I won’t be able to smile even once while looking at Felix. In the end, I will ignore a significant portion of it, even while knowing, according to the hierarchy of values I possess.

Therefore, for now, I had to endure this guilt that felt like it would crush me to death. At the very least, I had to be clearly aware of my responsibility.

If only the Count of Lallanne were alive, I could at least pass the responsibility onto him, saying it was all that guy’s fault. To dodge death so sneakily—he really was a bad guy. Why did he have to do something like summoning a god from another world?

I fiddled unnecessarily with our clasped hands. Suddenly, Felix placed one hand between my chin and neck. I was surprised by the sudden touch while lost in my thoughts and looked up, and Felix looked at me with concern and spoke.

“Are you motion-sick? We did travel for quite a while. Should we rest?”

“Yes…”

Since I couldn’t see a village immediately, Felix stopped the carriage in a quiet spot for the time being and checked my condition. Under his tender care, I gradually regained my stability. After taking a sip of the water Felix offered, I buried myself into his embrace as if burrowing in. The sound of him chuckling softly, as if my act of affection was pleasing, was cheerful.

Although for me, it was a body language driven by escapism from my own self-reproach, if I could make Felix smile for even a short while with something like this, it would have its own value. I was able to stop the self-loathing by forcing myself to do that much.

Arriving at the Lallanne ruins after several days on the road, we stood side-by-side in front of the land that had become a gigantic sinkhole. Before long, a woman carrying a bow approached and spoke.

“We’re planning to camp nearby for now. We intend to rest enough through the night and enter early tomorrow morning. What will you two do?”

They were a party of adventurers who had joined us since the last rough village. Adventurers often travel together temporarily to counter bandits or monsters if their paths coincide. That was exactly the case now. The adventurer party we were accompanying was a stable four-person party consisting of a Warrior, Swordsman, Ranger, and Mage, and they said they had been abroad just before coming here.

Suddenly, the party leader, the Warrior, suggested.

“If you don’t mind, how about continuing with us on this journey? Of course, only while your schedule overlaps with ours.”

Originally, the temporary companionship was supposed to end here. We were supposed to part ways as soon as we arrived in front of the ruins. But looking at their demeanor, it seemed they thought Felix’s skills were useful.

“It’s a matter for the two of you to discuss, but I think it’s better to be with us, at least for today.”

The day would be dark soon. They said it would be safer to stick together to prepare for an ambush under the cover of darkness. Soon, the Swordsman of the party added in a light tone, “Wouldn’t that be better for the sake of your wife over there? If you get hit by a group ambush, it’ll be a handful to protect her alone, wouldn’t it?”

For an instant, the corners of Felix’s eyes twitched.

“If we’re just going to treat each other like baggage, there’s no point in being together. I refuse.”

“Ack.”

The Swordsman wore a dumbfounded expression. The Swordsman’s companions immediately scolded him. They told us it was a misunderstanding, but Felix was already offended. Felix grabbed my hand then and there and started dragging me off somewhere. His eyes, fixed silently ahead, were piercing.

A good while later, only after we settled under a suitable tree did I ask Felix, “Don’t you think you’re taking it too sensitively? I don’t think there was any particular malice.”

Felix silently threw a branch into the fire. I watched his mood and chose my words.

“Well, I felt a bit bitter for a split second, too, but I don’t think there was any need to give it that much meaning.”

Everyone’s tendencies are all different, and you can’t fix everyone to my taste just because they’re a bit annoying. That wasn’t possible in the first place, anyway.

Therefore, reacting to everyone’s actions one by one was a waste of energy. Especially against drifters like them who were just passing by, as it was now. So, I hoped that Felix’s mood, which looked somewhat deflated, would lift quickly. I don’t think it’s very good to be swayed by matters that aren’t even that meaningful.

“Besides, their opinion had a point, didn’t it?”

Felix looked at me. His slightly furrowed eyes seemed not to agree.

“Ah, I don’t mean me being baggage, but the safety issue. As the Warrior said, maybe it would have been better to stick together.”

“Iel.”

Felix called me in a low tone. I had definitely thought he was still displeased, but unexpectedly, there was no particular emotion felt in his voice. I answered in bewilderment, thinking I had thought too deeply.

“Huh? Yeah.”

“That depends on the situation.”

Felix explained calmly, as if teaching someone innocent.

“A party that doesn’t mesh well often ends up being a hindrance to each other in emergency situations.”

“I-is that so?”

“Moreover, even among colleagues, if they don’t get along, they might secretly take care of each other during a battle. If it’s a stranger you don’t care about, it would be even easier. In a group where such an atmosphere is fundamentally laid out, being treated like baggage means you could be used as bait to run away if things go south.”

“Ah…”

I see. Even as I replied, I couldn’t help but think Felix was overthinking it again. But now was the time to bury my thoughts and keep my mouth shut. Compared to me, who had lived a relatively easy life, the events Felix experienced as a mercenary must have been far more tumultuous. It seemed right to follow his opinion during the journey.