Chapter 55

“That was the case….”

“Did you request it from the start with the intention of giving it as a gift?”

That was true, but somehow, having to say these words out of my own mouth made my conscience, which I hadn’t known I had, sting anew. I wondered why I should be the one to feel guilty, but considering that it was Leonis’s winning prize to begin with, it seemed I had good reason to feel a sting.

In the end, unable to find a suitable way to respond, I chose silence with the corners of my lips lifted.

Leonis also remained silent, looking at me quietly. It was Kairen who broke the atmosphere, which felt as if it would crush us if we stayed like this. He nudged Leonis’s arm and said.

“Leo. Don’t make your sister too uncomfortable.”

At his addition that it wasn’t gentlemanly behavior toward a woman, Leonis’s gaze rolled toward Kairen. Kairen looked at me with a good-natured smile.

“Leo was just quietly waiting for his sister’s answer. Don’t misunderstand.”

I only smiled at Kairen as well. It was because I couldn’t find a word to reply. If I readily agreed, it would be acknowledging that my relationship with my stepbrother was less than that of strangers; and if I denied it, I didn’t actually know anything about Leonis.

In the case of the former, it wasn’t a problem that would end with me just looking unsightly—Leonis’s position was also at stake. No matter how close these two were as friends, there must have been parts of themselves they didn’t want to expose to each other. As long as I didn’t know those parts, I had no choice but to be sparing with my words.

The atmosphere had already reached this state. Since any topic that came up from now on would likely be difficult, I decided to escape from this spot after some contemplation.

I emptied my teacup slowly so as not to appear in a hurry. Then, feigning composure, I rose from my seat.

“Thank you for the tea. I will take my leave now, so please continue your pleasant conversation, you two.”

I declared it with the brightest smile I could muster. Leonis nodded slowly. I greeted Kairen once more with a nod of my eyes and left the spot. Of course, only after making sure I had the prayer book tucked away securely.

Only after leaving the room did I let out a silent sigh. Phew, I thought I was going to choke on my tea. But the discomfort lasted only for a moment. Just as I had always been, I forgot about Leonis soon enough. The physical object held in my hand was more important than the mind of a person that was too difficult to fathom.

Once I had put some distance between myself and Leonis’s study in the corridor, I hummed a tune and took light, bouncing steps. It was a lapse in judgment I could only afford because no servants were in sight. In other words, it wasn’t a sight fit to show others. Especially not to the friend of my stepbrother.

“Lady Lallanne.”

“Hkk!”

At the sudden voice, I was so startled I nearly dropped the book. When I hurriedly turned around, Kairen Belosch was standing there with an ambiguous smile on his face.

We looked at each other in silence for a while. Soon, Kairen Belosch walked toward me first. He picked up the book that had fallen to the floor and held it out. I gathered my hands together to calm my pounding heart before carefully receiving the book. Kairen Belosch said.

“I’ve been thinking.”

“…Yes.”

“About that prayer book.”

“Yes?”

What, you want it back? I was suspicious, but I clutched the book tightly to my chest as I guarded myself against him. Kairen Belosch scratched his cheek.

“Would you be willing to interpret it, after all?”

While I was thinking it over for a moment, he added.

“Of course, only as much as is possible for you. There is no need to force yourself to overexert. It’s just… um.”

“Are you concerned?”

“Pardon?”

“About the contents of this book.”

“Ah, ah. Yes. Now that I think about it, I felt that an opportunity like this wouldn’t come often. I mean, meeting someone capable of interpreting that book.”

Because I’d been caught in a shameful scene, my mental distance had momentarily grown as far as ‘Kairen Belosch,’ but after calming down and listening to him talk, I became as close as ‘Kairen’ again.

In truth, from Kairen’s perspective, there would be few people he could trust as much as me with this book. I was the older sister of his close friend, and he’d gone to the trouble of allowing me to transcribe it, so I had no reason to harbor ill intent. Therefore, the possibility of me playing tricks on the interpretation was also low.

“I understand.”

Since he had allowed me to transcribe it, it was only proper courtesy to share the interpretation as well.

“Assuming it can be interpreted, I will share the contents with you then. However, I have no idea how long it will take.”

“That is fine.”

“Understood. After I finish, should I deliver it through Leonis?”

“I would like you to deliver it directly to me. Because Leo would also find playing the middleman a bother.”

“I see. In that case, I will contact you directly later. And when the transcription of this book is finished—”

“I would like you to return that book to me directly as well. Without going through any other person in between.”

I could brush off the request as Leonis not wanting to be bothered, but was asking not to go through others because of the security of the contents? This, too, was a problem I could fully understand, so I nodded obediently.

“Understood. I will return it to you directly.”

Kairen opened his mouth as if he had something more to say, but he closed it immediately as if his words weren’t quite organized yet. I waited for him for a while without rushing him. However, he didn’t add anything in the end and ended the conversation with a simple, “Well then.”

Since Kairen had requested a direct return, the reason to keep the book confined to this mansion disappeared. I thought about just packing the book and returning home as it was. However, things didn’t go according to plan as I faced Anne, who had been waiting in my room before I knew it.

“Anne!”

“Did you finish your talk well?”

“Yes. I was actually thinking of visiting your quarters to pay my respects.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes, I was thinking of returning home as it is.”

“What did you say?”

Huhu, Anne, who had been smiling benevolently, widened her eyes. I put the book in my bag for the moment and sat down facing Anne.

“I was able to borrow a good book thanks to the Young Master’s connections. On top of that, I received permission to transcribe it, and thanks to him limiting the return to me, I no longer have a need to stay tethered here indefinitely.”

“…….”

“So, I’m planning on going home and studying it calmly from now on.”

“Meriel.”

“Yes.”

“Is there something in this house that makes you uncomfortable?”

“No?”

“Then can’t you study it calmly here as well?”

“That may be true, but….”

Felix is waiting at home.

“There is no need for you to decline. If there is something that bothers you, tell me about it.”

“There’s nothing like that.”

“Then why are you trying to leave so quickly?”

Because Felix is waiting…. But Anne, an aristocrat to the bone, would never easily acknowledge Felix’s existence.

If I didn’t deliberately reveal it, Anne would act as if she didn’t know even if she did. She was a person who could generously turn a blind eye without attaching meaning to a ‘pleasure trip.’ However, if I were to formally reveal it to give the relationship meaning, she would adamantly oppose it. I couldn’t bring up Felix’s existence without any countermeasures.

In the end, I had to take a step back.

“I must have been a little too excited, so my thoughts were leaning in one direction. You are right. This place is very comfortable, too.”

“Right? You should stay a little longer.”

“Yes, I will.”

Anne’s expression, having heard the answer, spread brightly once more. It seemed I would have to stay for a few more days.

On the evening of the second day at the Melas mansion, after dinner. I was sauntering between the bookshelves in the library when I bumped into Leonis.

“…….”

We had faced each other at every meal, and also just a moment ago at dinner, but a sense of awkwardness still lingered between us. It had been like that ever since we treated each other with silence in the presence of Kairen the previous day.

But at the same time, it was a bit difficult to even call this awkward, because the relationship between Leonis and me had been close to silence from the very beginning. We were the kind of people who would pass each other by naturally even after making eye contact. We were the kind of people who barely needed conversation, even for the sake of necessity.

Come to think of it, one could say the recent sense of distance was the only thing that was strange. Therefore, it was merely that the silence of now had returned to the way things were.

The fact that I treated him with formality as my superior was just a matter of protocol, anyway. I had never felt truly intimidated by him, so I could always brush off minor inconveniences involving my stepbrother with a smile and silence.

There was no reason to consider this time any different.

Even though that was clearly the case, why was I now revisiting that fact anew?

“Meriel.”

What exactly was so uncomfortable?

“Young Master. Have you come to find a book?”

Leonis paused for a moment before answering.

“Yes.”