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I borrowed the courage of alcohol, but it still felt like a huge act of bravery for me. The warmth lingered, and being left in shabby clothes felt more embarrassing than I had expected.

‘Where did he go?’

I roughly retied the knot of my dress to tighten the loose outfit. It had been put on by a maid, so it was unrealistic to expect a perfect job by myself.

“Ha…”

I tasted the bitterness of defeat and drained the wine glass on the table. He didn’t return for a long time. Feeling awkward for no reason, I decided to call it a night and stood up. As I walked, I felt inexplicably down.

‘Yes, I won’t do it again……’

I was about to open the door to leave when Ren rushed out of the next room. He wore a light shirt and trousers, and his hair was damp with cold water—he must have hurriedly taken a shower. I pouted for no reason.

“Where are you going?”

I shrugged my shoulders.

“It’s late, so I should head back. Um… Ren seems to have finished getting ready too, so I’ll go now.”

Ren hadn’t done anything wrong, so I was turning away to soothe my lonely feelings when he suddenly grabbed my hand.

“Um… would you come out for a short nighttime walk? I have something to talk about.”

“…Yes.”

I felt too unsettled to just leave, so I agreed. He quickly changed his clothes, then, with precise movements, fixed the tangled knot of my dress. He draped his jacket over me, gently took my hand, and led me to the garden.

Why was he so calm? I felt irritated for no reason, as if I alone were the one flustered.

‘Truly, today is one of the worst embarrassing moments of my life……’

Still, the warmth of his hand touching mine slowly eased my heart.

“Um…”

He picked a red rose blooming in the garden, broke off each thorn one by one, and handed it to me. It was an unusual gesture, so I wondered at it, but I accepted it. It was a beautiful, large rose that showed the gardener’s painstaking care.

His lips moved slightly. He seemed to want to say something but couldn’t bring himself to. Since I was the one who felt embarrassed, I silently looked at the rose and waited until his thoughts were sorted.

“I’m sorry I left like that earlier.”

“…It’s okay. That can happen. I’m sorry if my, um, my touch made you uncomfortable.”

I cupped my cheeks with both hands and bowed my head deeply. Even making eye contact felt embarrassing. It had been a touch intended to elicit a pleasant response in any case, but the other person hadn’t responded that way. I hadn’t exactly done well either. I glanced up at him once and bowed my head again; he let out an exasperated laugh.

“If I had let you go tonight, it would’ve been a disaster. Come here.”

He sat me on a snow-white bench at the edge of the rose bed. Then he knelt on one knee in front of me and looked me in the eyes.

“Sit beside me. Your legs will hurt.”

“I’m fine. More than that, there’s something I want to ask.”

“What is it?”

“…Where on earth did you learn something like that? kof”

He asked with a slightly embarrassed look. Even without specifying what he meant, I knew exactly, and my face flushed as well.

“…I saw it in a book. It said doing that makes you feel good…”

Honestly confessing was the way to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings.

“…It was so good I thought I might die. Truly.”

“Yes?”

So it wasn’t that he had felt bad? Judging by his expression, he didn’t seem to hate it at all.

Then why…?

He gently took my two hands that were resting on his knee.

“Would you be able to refrain from doing this kind of thing in the future?”

It felt good, yet he asked me to restrain myself… something was up. I turned the hands he was holding and this time I took his hand. Why were his hands so long and big?

“Ren, what are you so afraid of? We’re in love with each other. Is there some tradition in the ducal house that you must remain pure before marriage? Or is there pressure that you must perform well? It’s my first time too. There’s no one to compare to; can’t we just adjust to each other?”

To ease the conversation, I told him that in my original world, couples often spent nights together without necessarily marrying, so this situation was unfamiliar to me.

His eyes widened slightly, but he didn’t look shocked.

“After the beach incident I realized your world was quite open, but this is more surprising than I thought. Still, it’s not unheard of here either. It’s just… it’s me.”

What did he mean by that?

Before he could speak, his ears flushed the deepest red I’ve ever seen. Ren averted his gaze slightly to the side and said,

“It’s… my marriage romantic ideal. To spend the first night after marrying the one I love.”

“…!”

I was so surprised I let go of his hand and clamped my mouth shut.

‘I thought he was closed off, conservative, old-fashioned in parts, but is this the kind of sentiment you’d expect in the Joseon era?’

Seeing this big wolf-like cutie whine and unable to meet my eyes was both cute and absurd. So the reason he’d refused to go further until now was to protect his romantic ideal. He continued speaking.

“It doesn’t matter if the partner is a first for them. I just—if I marry the person I love, I want to do it that way. It’s been a romantic ideal since childhood… but as I grew older I gave up on it. I assumed I’d have an arranged marriage suited to the family.”

“Ren…”

He nervously rubbed his reddened neck.

“I didn’t expect to meet you either. I didn’t expect to have someone I love like this… so memories of that childhood romantic ideal resurfaced. I’m truly sorry if it made you feel bad.”

‘I lost……’

At this point, pressuring him further about physical progress would be almost violent. Seeing how he always tried to accommodate my wishes, I couldn’t refuse him his one romantic ideal. From the way he restrained himself as if to tear the chair apart, I could tell how much he wanted to keep it. I wasn’t someone obsessed with that either.

“And as for skill… don’t worry. I’m good at everything.”

He lowered the hand covering his mouth, clasped both hands again, glanced at me, and added,

‘What, such an adorable creature…!’

Who would think this was Vespera Ariadne Fortuna, once arrogant, haughty, and called the Fearsome Mouth? I’m really glad only I could see this. I don’t need any more fans.

“Alright. I’ll protect that romantic ideal. From now on, I’ll refrain from skinship and contact as much as possible.”

At that, his shoulders drooped as if his puppy ears had been folded. No—so what exactly did he expect me to do?

“You can act as you usually do. I’ll take care of the restraint.”

Then he alternately kissed the backs of both my hands. If his will was strong enough to destroy a chair, there shouldn’t be a problem until marriage.

I wasn’t pleased with him staying in such an awkward position, so I tapped his side with my hand. He smiled, stood, and sat beside me. I had asked many people around, but the person involved is always the quickest to decide, right?

“What kind of marriage have you dreamed of? I’m curious about your thoughts on marriage. Anything.”

“Suddenly curious about that?”

“My father even brought up wedding talks, so it really hit home.”

“What about you, Ria?”

I decided to answer honestly and without embellishment.

“Actually, I didn’t really think much about marriage. In my previous world, I worked late every day and was too busy earning money and taking care of myself. I had no physical time for dating or the emotional bandwidth, and marriage felt like a luxury.”

“Why?”

“Because I lost my family in an accident, I was afraid of creating a new family… and being overwhelmed as I am now, if I married and had children, I might make them suffer like I did. In fact, many people where I came from wanted to marry only after they had some financial stability. If you have money, material issues like education and housing are much more easily solved. I thought similarly. Isn’t that rather materialistic compared to people here?”

That was certainly how I used to think. I still do to some extent. But that’s not the entirety of what I wanted in a marriage.

“But coming here changed me a lot. I learned how precious it is to be with someone, and because of that, even though I still think about earning money, I could give it up without regret. Do you know how strange that is for me? I’m someone who died from overwork. I’m saying this because I worry you might misunderstand and think I like you for your status or money. Even without those things, I would have liked you. I could earn the money and support us. Heh.”

The person who made me imagine a future of marriage was Ren.

“It’s reassuring, but don’t ever say something so horrible.”

Ren frowned slightly. The thought of me being the sole breadwinner seemed to bother him.

“Now it’s your turn.”

With a much lighter heart, I lightly shook his hand and asked.

“I think I’ve already said it all, but for me, the beginning and end of marriage is only Ria—you.”

Somehow his embarrassment had vanished; he looked at me with deeply sunk eyes.

“You’re the one who can make my romantic ideal come true—what more needs to be said? If it’s not you, then the very question of my view on marriage is meaningless.”

I couldn’t take my eyes off his red pupils that conveyed sincerity for even a moment.

“If you like me even after seeing my money, my face, and my status, then I’ve fulfilled my purpose. Whatever the reason, I can’t help but love you.”

The eyes I had thought painfully red were so clear today that I felt I could see right through them.