A Battlefield Of Flowers (6)

I was afraid Sir Kaltz would learn of the insults I had suffered. He was an honorable knight, so he would draw his sword without hesitation, but then he too would be branded with the disgrace of having fought for an unworthy woman. For a knight, hearing such words was humiliating.

Besides, if Lady Welch really was Victor’s true fiancée…… would Kaltz still take my side?

I forced a smile as I suppressed every dark thought that came to mind.

“You’ve spent the entire day waiting on me, Sir Kaltz, so please go and have a dance yourself.”

“What? I cannot do that, Madam! His Grace truly will have my head mounted on a spike!”

I half-forcibly pushed the protesting Kaltz away. Fortunately, his claim that he was popular did not seem to be a lie, as several ladies were lingering nearby, waiting to ask him to dance, and I used that as an excuse to distance myself from him.

I went toward the terrace and leaned against the wall. Once I was alone, the openly audible whispers pressed down on me even more painfully.

“I heard Lady Welch and His Grace were lovers?”

“It would only be natural. Aren’t they both so beautiful? Besides, House Welch and House Mort have been longtime allies.”

“But because of his illness, he had no choice but to…….”

“A woman from a kingdom…….”

I was tired. I wanted to give up on everything and collapse right there. I wanted to return to the grand ducal residence and eat something delicious…… No, I simply wanted to chew on frozen blades of grass back in Amari.

It was ridiculous to suffer over something like this. Facts were merely facts.

I had been sold in exchange for a dowry. I had been purchased to put the wandering Grand Duke to sleep, a temporary…….

Suddenly, a rough hand violently tugged at my left sleeve. Startled, I looked to the side. A man dressed as a nobleman, completely drunk, was yanking carelessly at my sleeve.

I understood what his action meant and turned deathly pale.

“W-what are you doing? Let go of me.”

“Why is this so expensive……? I heard you’re a witch?”

The stench of alcohol reached me from where he stood. He grinned stupidly and looked me up and down. Revulsion washed over me, as though the tongue of some grotesque monster were licking me.

“What sort of trick do you perform at night that makes the Grand Duke so mad about you……? I’m curious, that’s all. Why?”

“…….”

“Let’s step outside for a moment. It can’t be your first time…….”

My hands trembled at the outrageous insult. I wanted to draw any sword within reach and cut out his tongue that very instant.

But I was not a swordswoman now. I was a noblewoman standing at a social gathering. So long as the name of the grand ducal house could not protect me, I was utterly powerless.

Just as the bastard was about to open his mouth again, someone roughly seized his wrist.

“My apologies, Count Minfield. My master ordered me to escort Madam back.”

I barely managed to raise my head. Kaltz, wearing an expression as cold as ice, was prying the man’s hand away. He seemed to have rushed over in a hurry, and far in the distance, I could see a lady standing there in confusion after losing her partner.

Kaltz added bluntly.

“Should you insist, you will have to duel either me or my master. Surely you know who my master is.”

After looking back and forth between Kaltz’s face and the crest on his epaulet, the count hurriedly wrenched his hand free. Perhaps the alcohol had finally worn off, because the man muttered a string of curses and fled as fast as his legs could carry him.

Only then could I let out a damp, trembling sigh.

Throughout the entire carriage ride back, Kaltz repeatedly begged my forgiveness. He said he should never have left my side, not even for a moment, and that he had never dreamed there would be a madman brazen enough to make such advances toward the Grand Duchess.

I smiled mechanically and kept repeating that it was all right. I had been the one who told him to dance, so it truly was not his fault.

Perhaps trying to cheer me up, he grumbled lightly.

“Drunk or not, what kind of scoundrel behaves like that? The prestige of Mort is clearly attached to your name…… Madam, did that man say anything strange to you?”

His smiling expression gradually turned serious. Only then did I realize that I was no longer smiling. I hurriedly shook my head.

“No, I was simply a little startled…… And tired.”

“If he was more disrespectful than was tolerable, please tell me. I may not be much, but I am your knight, Madam.”

I shook my head once more.

I did not want the matter to grow needlessly. I did not want anyone taking revenge for me, nor did I want the rumors to spread and cause those around me to worry. I had always lived by concealing my pain alone. So I simply wanted to shut myself away in silence and swallow all of this.

Meanwhile, the carriage arrived at the grand ducal residence. Sir Kaltz continued apologizing as he escorted me out of the carriage.

The moment I entered the mansion, Madam Sermona and Dideric hurried toward me.

“Madam, you returned early.”

“How was the banquet? Did you enjoy yourself?”

Sir Kaltz looked uncomfortable and seemed about to say something, but I spoke first and smiled brightly. I told them that I had enjoyed myself thanks to them and that there had been many good people there. Seeing how pleased they were only deepened my sorrow.

Their kindness had made me completely forget. No matter how warmly the servants treated me, I was still nothing more than someone who had been sold here. How foolish of me to become excited and think I could behave like the mistress of the house……. Should I not instead be grateful to them for treating someone who had not even come through a proper marriage proposal with such respect?

Unable to shake off my gloomy thoughts, I followed the maids back to my room.

Victor returned later than I did.

I had shut myself in the bedroom since early evening, and when I saw him, I no longer knew whether I wanted to laugh or cry. I had missed him all day, yet at the same time, I desperately had not wanted to see him.

The moment Victor saw me, he asked after me.

“How was the banquet?”

I lied.

“It was enjoyable.”

“Was it? I heard you returned early.”

He looked at me with concern, then moved the book I had left lying carelessly onto the bedside table.

Did you have a fiancée?

I desperately suppressed the question that threatened to burst from my lips toward his broad back. Cold reason immediately rebuked me.

What right did I have to ask him such a thing? I was merely a woman who had married him because of his illness. I could not even manage the estate, nor could I be called an elegant lady. My usefulness truly was limited to only an hour or two at night.

Finding it difficult to look at his face, I pretended to inspect the blade again for no reason. A worried voice came from above my head.

“Nothing truly happened, did it? You look very exhausted.”

“No. I am simply tired. Who would dare lay a hand on someone of the grand ducal house?”

Victor stepped in front of me and once again smiled with a silken gentleness that did not suit his nickname. His fingers stroked the strands of hair that had fallen loose.

“Then I am relieved.”

“…….”

“I worried about you all day. Even at the Imperial Palace, I thought only of you.”

Victor’s eyes were so tender. They were the kind of eyes I wanted to keep gazing into, even if I was being deceived.

But I forced myself to turn away and closed my eyes.

“Then please go to bed early, if only for the sake of your tired wife.”

Victor smiled softly at my words and nodded.

“Yes. We will have to wake early again tomorrow.”

Watching his black-clad back as he headed toward the bed, I swallowed the turmoil boiling inside me. Resting my forehead against the cold sword hilt, I murmured.

But Victor. I was not the Grand Duchess there.

The social season’s schedule came crashing down day after day. It was an endless procession of banquets and balls. I would attend a banquet, return exhausted, fall asleep, and wake around the time Victor came home. That became my daily routine.

Sleep was a good refuge. Neither Victor nor the servants tried to speak at length to me after I had just awakened, and all I had to do was wait for Victor to get into bed and put him to sleep.

But afterward, sleep would not return, and I suffered. These days, Victor’s illness had weakened, and I could lie back down in less than five minutes, yet it was still the same.

Whenever I looked at the sleeping Victor, emotions I had never experienced before turned my insides upside down.

An inexplicable sense of betrayal, sadness, and self-loathing for feeling that way.

Using exhaustion as an excuse, I skipped breakfast with him and left the mansion looking as wilted as a chick that had not even been fed thin gruel. The servants believed I had become completely worn out by the social party schedule I was experiencing for the first time.

Dideric consoled me with a sympathetic expression.

“Madam, you only need to endure the first week. From the second week onward, you need only attend gatherings with those close to you, so it will not be this difficult.”

I smiled weakly.

It was obvious I would not make anyone close to me, so I thought I would be able to rest starting next week.

Physical pain was nothing compared to the pain of the heart.

Rumors about me spread faster than dragon fire. Lady Welch’s friends traveled in groups like enormous bouquets, spreading the gossip wherever they went. Their manner of speaking was refined, but the contents of their words could not have been more vulgar.

After several days of banquets, I had become His Grace’s apothecary and attendant, a mistress who had stolen Nanael Welch’s place, and a Grand Duchess in name only.

I could not deny any of it. It was not entirely false. I was not shameless enough to deny the truth.

Sometimes anger surged inside me, but I closed my eyes and silently endured every word.

It was obvious that if I lost my temper here, it would become a blemish on the grand ducal house. I did not want to see Victor insulted because of me. Even in this situation, the fact that Victor was a kind and gentle person had not changed.

As I spent each day making myself into a wallflower, I naturally began eating less as well. Kaltz worried greatly as I withered more with each passing day. He told me amusing stories in the carriage and explained the shops we could see outside the window. Sometimes he even got off in the marketplace and returned with snacks.

Watching him make such an effort without even knowing the reason made my heart ache. Surely he knew how I had ended up becoming the Grand Duchess, yet he went this far simply because I was the noblewoman he served. Thoughts filled with self-contempt, thoughts I ordinarily would never have entertained, kept surfacing.

But Kaltz was also the only person I could speak to at all. In the end, one day, I cautiously asked him.

“Is it true that Lady Welch was His Grace’s fiancée?”