Chapter 20

Sa-heon leaned against the rooftop railing with a lollipop in his mouth and looked out at the view.

He’d thought it before, too, but it was sweet enough to make the inside of his mouth tingle. Her lips had been sweeter, though.

He laughed at himself and raked back the hair the wind kept blowing about.

‘That was a mistake.’

So much for clutching the hem of his T-shirt and melting into his arms like that. When it came down to it, she’d drawn a line and told him anything past it was out of the question. And the way she’d turned all prim with her face gone red. Honestly, what was she doing being so pretty about it?

He’d assumed it sat somewhere between liking her and being curious about her. His trousers getting tight whenever he was around her had always been a given, but this fluttering was something he didn’t recognize at all. What he felt for her ran thicker than he’d bargained for, thick enough that it honestly threw him. For the first time in his life his heart was turning toward someone with no calculation and no weighing up, and it felt strange.

So blithe about it all. He was still laughing at himself inwardly when Chief Choi Kang-hoon came up carefully beside him and asked,

“Managing Director, did I snore a lot last night?”

“Yes.”

“I’m truly sorry.”

“If you ever have reason to come here again, Chief Choi, you’re sleeping on the platform bench.”

“I will. I’m truly sorry.”

“What do you mean, ‘I will’?”

Sa-heon let out a pfft of laughter, and Chief Choi, who’d been standing at attention like a robot, scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment.

“Not much news from Seoul? Nobody looking for me?”

At the question, Chief Choi’s face darkened in an instant.

“They are. A great many people are waiting on you, and only you, Managing Director.”

Sa-heon rolled the candy around in his mouth and looked out at the view. It was green and very peaceful, and not suited in the least to a serious conversation.

Careful not to rub him the wrong way, Chief Choi went on.

“They’re under the impression you’re recovering from a traffic accident. That’s the only reason it’s even this quiet.”

“How long do you think we can hold out?”

Chief Choi couldn’t answer right away. He hesitated.

“A month. Two at the very most.”

Which also meant the one stretch of his life when he could be true to what he actually felt would last this summer, at most.

“If it goes past that… an acting appointment will go on the board’s agenda. The official line is a long-term absence for health reasons, so once it passes three months, the argument will be that the gap needs filling.”

“I get it. I’d have done the same.”

Sa-heon nodded.

Honestly, the only reason Lee Jae-gwon was merely feeling things out was that he had something on his own conscience. Otherwise the man would have moved to carve the seat out from under him over a single week’s absence.

“Chief. Should I go back?”

Chief Choi was silent for a moment.

“To Seoul.”

“In this condition, you mean?”

“Yes.”

“…”

“I’ll manage the work somehow. No reason I couldn’t. I’m Lee Sa-heon.”

Chief Choi nodded evenly.

“Yes, of course. Even as you are now, with only your memories up to twenty-one, you’d do it well, Managing Director. But…”

He closed his mouth for a moment, then went on.

“The Managing Director in his thirties does it better.”

To that, Sa-heon had no answer.

True enough. If he poked at things carelessly, he could bring down everything he’d built up until now. Company business wasn’t something a man could fudge his way through on the fly.

“For now there’s nothing for it but to stay here and do everything you can to get your memory back.”

“All right.”

He knew that perfectly well. He knew this was no time to be trailing around after her, blithe as you please.

So what was he supposed to do?

Would the memories come back if he admitted he’d been nothing at all to that woman and forced his wayward heart to fold itself back up? But why did he hate the idea so much?

Besides, it would only last this summer at best. If the vacancy dragged on, then just as Chief Choi said, there’d be an acting Managing Director, and after that he might find he had no seat left to go back to at all. That was the one thing he couldn’t sit still and watch, so in the end it would come to a head-on fight, even if that meant disclosing everything about what had gone wrong with his memory.

He knew all of it, and still he wanted to fudge it a little longer. Never once had he fretted himself raw like this over winning somebody’s heart.

Honestly, that isn’t like me.

But what was he supposed to do, when he liked her that much?

Sa-heon rolled the lollipop around in his mouth and laughed, emptied out.

Ji-an wiped at the display case with the bread laid out on it, her eyes blank.

She had no idea what state she’d been in when she came home after kissing Sa-heon last night. It didn’t feel like she’d slept at all, yet she’d tossed and turned a little and then the sun was up.

Kissing Sa-heon. I really have lost my mind.

She was fairly sure the mood hadn’t been heading that way at all at the start. They’d only been telling each other their stories, plainly and calmly, and then at some point they were kissing, mindless with it.

Every time a low breath slipped out of him between their locked lips, her heart pounded like it would burst. When his elegant fingers teased at her waist, every place his hand touched flared up, and then not just those places but her whole body, hot enough to throw her completely.

Then that big, hot hand of his finally slid up under her T-shirt.

Ji-an’s closed eyes flew open, and she pulled her body back.

Their lips came apart, and the big hand that had been gripping her bare skin fell away too. Sa-heon tilted his head and asked,

‘Why?’

His face was composed and shameless. It was the face of a man who knew far too well how attractive he was, and so had naturally never considered the possibility of being turned down.

When Ji-an didn’t answer, he braced both arms on the platform bench and gave her an easy smile.

‘You still haven’t finished thinking about it?’

‘Thinking about what?’

‘I asked whether you were going to sleep with me.’

‘I’m not. And just now… that was a mistake.’

‘A mistake?’

‘I just got swept up in the moment. I’d rather you didn’t get the wrong idea. And if it offended you, I’m sorry.’

She turned her head away and answered firmly. All of a sudden Sa-heon clutched at his chest as if he were having a heart attack, his face twisting slightly.

‘Ow.’

‘…What’s wrong?’

Startled, Ji-an leaned in closer, and he took his hand away with a pfft of laughter.

‘Because I’m hurt.’

She couldn’t tell whether that mischievous smile meant it or not.

It had blown over like that, but surely he’d thought it was absurd? She’d kissed him back every time he kissed her, tangled her tongue with his, kept to his rhythm for all she was worth. And then, out of nowhere, it was “swept up in the moment” this and “a mistake” that. Even to her own ears it sounded shabby and petty.

Ugh, the shame of it. Still wiping the display case, Ji-an squeezed her eyes shut, opened them again, and scolded herself inwardly.

And on top of all that, why was he so good at kissing? Why on earth did he have to be practiced at that too? A little flash of anger rose in her before she knew it, and the hand scrubbing the display case pressed down harder.

Her head had gone so blank that she couldn’t remember a thing about kissing her ex-boyfriend, so there was nothing even to compare it to, and her whole body had gone ticklish with a feeling she didn’t know what to do with. When he pushed his tongue in deep and slowly stirred it around her mouth, she’d all but hung off him. She’d felt his firm stomach heaving with excitement against her whole body, and her own excitement had risen right along with his.

Did he really want to sleep with her? No, that made no sense. Even if she gave him a hundred concessions and granted that he’d fallen for her…

No. She couldn’t even suppose it. That was how little sense it made.

Stop thinking about it. Han Ji-an, you really have lost it.

“Hey.”

She had her eyes screwed shut and was shaking her head when, smack, her back stung.

“Agh! Unnie!”

She spun around with a short yelp, and there stood Hee-jin with her arms folded and a look of disbelief on her face.

“I’ve called you I don’t know how many times, and you don’t answer.”

“…Did you? I didn’t hear.”

“What’s with you? You’ve been acting like you’ve got a screw loose all day. Did I make you get up before dawn to knead the dough? What did I even do?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just…”

Ji-an lowered her eyes and kept scrubbing at the display case. Hee-jin clicked her tongue and took the dishcloth out of her hand.

“Quit wiping. You know you’ve been wiping that same spot for ten minutes?”

“Sorry…”

“Anyway, what happened to your lips?”

Hee-jin frowned and pointed with her chin. Ji-an touched her lips and faltered.

“M-my lips? Why?”

“They look kind of chapped.”

Well, of course they did, after all that biting and sucking. Lips bitten, then drawn into a mouth and sucked, then tongues tangling.

Last night came rushing back and her face went hot, so Ji-an hurriedly slipped past Hee-jin and washed her hands.

“Guess I’m just tired. I’ve had a few things on my mind.”

“What’ve you got to worry about?”

“Right…”

Hee-jin came over looking dubious and started packing the loaves she’d left on the cooling rack into clear bags one by one. Then she lowered her voice.

“Be honest with me.”

“Wh-what about?”

“Mr. Lee Sa-heon. Has he really got nowhere to go?”

“It’s just kind of suspicious, that’s all.”

“What is?”

Ji-an shot back curtly, stung for no good reason, and Hee-jin narrowed her eyes and set down the loaf she’d been bagging.

“The way he dresses isn’t normal. His shirts and trousers are cut to fit him exactly, and his shoes and watch are designer. Haven’t you looked?”

“I don’t know… I haven’t looked.”

“And his table manners are incredible. He’s kind of… refined, I guess? That’s the feeling I got. You don’t see it?”