Chapter 39

The house was quiet after Naru left. It was a silence he hadn’t felt in a long time. Gyu-yeon flopped down on the sofa, leaving Naru who had stormed out behind. The emotional drain had sapped his energy and left him hollow inside.

Even when he tried to think, his head wouldn’t work properly. No matter how he thought about it, it was true that Naru was someone unrelated to Gyu-yeon.

If only he’d known a little earlier. No, if he’d conducted a more thorough investigation from the start, maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

Gyu-yeon couldn’t understand his own feelings. Outwardly he thought things shouldn’t have gotten tangled in the first place, but inwardly he felt glad he had met Naru.

“Ha…”

Don’t worry about it. Yu Gyu-yeon, he’s someone who has nothing to do with you. Please stop caring.

He made a small groan as he splashed water on his face. He tried to calm himself by telling himself not to care, but his mind only grew more complicated.

I should have held him back.

Regret washed over him late. No matter how confused or angry he was, he should have stopped Naru from running out. It was late; he would have nowhere to go, and surely no money either…

People are strange. They only start to regret things after the water has been spilled. Gyu-yeon slowly reviewed his actions and finally spat out a curse.

He could have asked gently, but as soon as he came in he pushed Naru. He got angry, thinking only of his own feelings without trying to hear Naru’s situation.

Ah, I want to die.

Gyu-yeon, who had been lying on the sofa in distress, suddenly stood up. Looking out the window, it had grown dim. He walked straight out and opened the front door.

Clatter.

After the door opened he hurriedly ran down the stairs. Not wanting to waste time waiting for the elevator, Gyu-yeon dashed down the emergency stairs and walked around near the house, looking around.

Even the weather was strange today. Dark clouds covered the night sky, and the shops and roads in front of the house were unusually quiet.

After searching around the house for thirty minutes, Gyu-yeon felt his heart drop as raindrops began to fall. The rain was getting heavier with time.

Wandering, getting soaked by the aimless rain, Gyu-yeon raked his fingers through his hair in a nervous gesture. One hour passed, then two, and he still couldn’t find Naru.

“Song Naru!”

Gyu-yeon’s roughened voice echoed near the shops. Passersby looked at him in puzzlement and moved on. Gyu-yeon, who hated ruining his image more than anything, repeatedly called out Naru’s name as he went around the neighborhood.

Four hours passed. Gyu-yeon returned half resigned. His eyes were unfocused and full of emptiness.

Entering the living room and staring at the sofa, he sighed deeply. He had secretly hoped that when he returned home Naru would be sitting on that sofa, but that dreamlike scene did not happen.

As he scanned the house, he stared intently at places where Naru’s traces remained: a neatly folded sky-blue blanket, the cereal he liked enough to buy two boxes of, the now two pairs of spoons and chopsticks, even a fork just for Naru.

He hadn’t noticed because things had been so natural, but Naru had claimed a large territory inside the house.

Clearing his mind, Gyu-yeon went into the bathroom and took a cold shower. The cold water seemed to clear his head a bit.

After washing, he wiped the floor, muddied by the rain. He said nothing, just cleaned diligently.

Instead of going to his room, Gyu-yeon lay on the sofa. It was where Naru always fell asleep alone. Lying alone in the darkened living room, he felt empty. It was a feeling he’d never experienced in his life.

He had thought he was used to living alone after moving out, but after living with Naru and then being left alone, it felt strange. With a troubled heart, Gyu-yeon closed his eyes and slowly counted numbers in his head.

One, two, three, four…

It was a method he usually used when he couldn’t sleep. Normally counting to 100 would bring sleep, but today even after counting to 1,000 he couldn’t fall asleep. Tormented between wakefulness and sleep, he dozed fitfully.

Of course, he had a nightmare at a time like this. Through the haze, he saw Naru’s face. Covered in dirt and holding a hoe in one hand, Naru glared at Gyu-yeon as if he would kill him.

“I didn’t run away, you abandoned me. Yu Gyu-yeon, you abandoned me. Take responsibility. Take responsibility. Responsibility.”

“Huk, huh…!”

Waking with a gasp, Gyu-yeon panted. I didn’t run away, you abandoned me—Naru had said that in his dream. In the end, Gyu-yeon couldn’t sleep again and spent the night with his eyes open.

Sitting there drained, he soon saw the morning sun rise. Gyu-yeon, looking worn in a single day, stared quietly out the window. He waited just in case, but Naru still hadn’t come back.

Gyu-yeon hadn’t kept his ground. One moment he was pushing recklessly, and now he was searching for Naru like a madman. Early in the morning he went out and walked around the whole neighborhood.

How many more hours did he search? By the time he came to his senses, the sun was high in the sky. If he hadn’t turned up after this much searching, he might have gone to another neighborhood or even much farther.

Bzz.

Then Gyu-yeon’s phone rang briefly. Having been running around himself, he hadn’t thought to check his phone until now, and he quickly looked at the screen.

[Yu Gyu-yeon Regret]

It was a message from Naru. Gyu-yeon stood there staring at the message for a long time. No words, just “regret.” It was an uncharacteristically firm tone from Naru.

The Naru who always said “Gyu-yeon is the best, I like Gyu-yeon the most” had turned cold within a day. It made the back of his head tingle, even though no one had hit him. It was shocking.

At last he sobered up a bit. Gyu-yeon reached to press the call button, then stopped and put the phone away.

What would he even say if he called? “Come back right now”? It was practically his own doing that he left.

Isn’t this like giving someone poison and then the antidote? It felt odd to grab someone who told him to be hurt and regret it. No, rather than odd, from Naru’s perspective it would be downright absurd.

Gyu-yeon seriously pondered. Should he act on his feelings and cling to Naru recklessly, or calm himself rationally and approach him slowly?

At least he was contactable, which was a relief. Having confirmed Naru was safe, Gyu-yeon went home to clear his head. Even if he held onto Naru now, things might go wrong again in his current state.

Gyu-yeon, who had been calming his troubled mind until late afternoon, couldn’t hold back and picked up his phone. He’d only lasted two hours, but he was going crazy worrying whether Naru might be starving somewhere.

What if it went wrong when he clung to him? It’s embarrassing that such a misunderstanding happened between them, but they could just talk it through. That would solve it.

Gyu-yeon’s phone displayed the call connection screen. At the top, Naru’s name was clearly shown.

Trrr—, Tr,

He resolved to call, but the dial tone cut off mid-ring. Gyu-yeon wondered if he’d imagined it and called again.

<The recipient’s phone is turned off, connecting to voicemail.>

Beep.

With the voicemail tone, Gyu-yeon’s mind went blank. The tone persisted and then the phone went dead. This rarely happened unless someone intentionally turned their phone off.

When the thought that he might never see Naru again crossed his mind, Gyu-yeon sank to the floor with a thud.

They say people only realize what’s precious after losing it once. It wasn’t wrong. Gyu-yeon, belatedly realizing how precious Naru was, grabbed his head.

Round, pretty potatoes filled the basket to the brim. Naru straightened his back with a proud face. His once-white face was covered in dirt, and his body was equally filthy from digging potatoes so hard.

The farm owner, weighing the harvested produce, handed cash to each of them, thanking them for their work. It wasn’t a large sum, but it was pretty good pay for a day’s part-time work.

“Alright, good work tomorrow as well.”

“Thank you…!”

90,000 won in cash was placed in Naru’s hand. He gripped the bills tightly, as if someone might snatch them, and smiled faintly. He seemed proud to have earned money by himself for the first time in his life.

With the instruction to gather by seven tomorrow, the work ended. The men chatted among themselves as they headed toward the shabby lodging. Naru, trailing behind them, kept glancing around out of habit.

“Hey, it was your first time but he worked hard.”

“I always work hard at everything.”

“The little one’s full of passion. The shower over there is terribly cramped—let’s shower together.”

“I’m not showering with you.”

Geon-hu, who had been clinging to him, tapped Naru’s back and suggested they shower together. Naru brushed his hand away and walked ahead.

I’ve never even showered with Gyu-yeon—why would I shower with that guy?

Geon-hu burst into loud laughter at his sassy remark. His brisk laughter suited him well. Reaching the lodging, Naru shivered slightly from the chill.

The old dilapidated building was stained and its walls had yellowed. Inside was even worse. The lifted flooring was practically useless, and the wallpaper was torn in places, exposing the gray concrete walls.

Naru immediately remembered the basement where he had been held. This place was very similar to that basement. The cool air and the eerily dark atmosphere, especially the concrete walls, were the scariest.

“Ugh, this place feels like trash no matter when you come.”

“…”

“Scared, are you?”

“…Yeah.”

Naru, answering barely audibly, stepped into the room. Since the men had entered without taking off their shoes, Naru followed and didn’t remove his either. After all, if he took them off his feet would probably turn pitch black.

“Hey, you young ones. You two will shower last.”

“Ah, why?”

“That Do Geon-hu’s being cocky again.”

“You want to start a fight again? Fine, just hurry up and wash and come out.”

One of the men, throwing off his work clothes, asserted territorial rights. It was the usual bullying—they’d wash first, so you two go last. Naru didn’t care, but Geon-hu immediately answered back.

Having fought with the men several times before, Geon-hu passed it off with an annoyed look. Thanks to that, the tense mood returned to normal.

Naru took a corner spot and sat, waiting his turn to wash. He’d been so happy to receive the money, but thinking about it calmly, it wasn’t a moment to be pleased.

What good is money? Can I really live on my own?

…I miss Gyu-yeon. I want to wash, eat, and sleep in a warm home.

Naru took out his phone and pressed the hold button. The YK Electronics logo appeared on the screen before the low-battery icon flashed and it shut off again. Stunned, Naru made a distressed face.