Let’s Go Find Fragments Of The Stars

“Hey, hey, big brother.”

“Don’t call me big brother.”

I hated being treated like her brother.

Even after I came to care deeply about Yūha, whenever she called me “big brother,” those parents would flash through my mind. I felt like I might start resenting Yūha again even though she had done nothing wrong.

So I forbade her from calling me that.

I wasn’t her brother. I was Rokurō.

I didn’t treasure you because I was your brother.

As Rokurō, even without any blood tying us together, I treasured you.

The next morning, talking face-to-face with Yūha still didn’t go well.

Yesterday’s awkward exchange had dealt a fatal blow, and now Yūha would only answer with “yes” or “no.” Whenever I tried to communicate with her, she fled like a cat that refused to warm up to people.

Even so, there was still work to do, so I accompanied Chris-san on his filming while listening to his American-style stories about how much he loved his wife.

Apparently, Kagari was going to make time tomorrow to come explain Onahebi Village’s selling points to him. We would probably need an interpreter then. No matter how good Chris-san’s Japanese was, explaining history would likely be difficult.

I hadn’t made any mistakes at work, but the thought of what to do about Yūha remained stuck in the corner of my mind and refused to leave.

In the end, I spent the entire day thinking about nothing else.

After speaking to the guests at the guesthouse, I headed back to Fuzuki-san’s house. On the way, I checked my phone and saw a message from Kagari.

“Did something happen with Yūha-chi? She looked like she was lost in thought during her break.”

Apparently, it was serious enough that even that oblivious ball of energy had noticed.

If I didn’t resolve this quickly, it would probably only get more complicated.

That said, with Yūha acting like this, talking face-to-face would be difficult.

“Somehow I need to get her alone… Maybe I should just kidnap her?”

Since I was muttering to myself on a country road at night, anyone watching would probably think I was a full-fledged criminal.

No one could blame them for thinking I was planning to abduct an elementary school kid on the way home from school tomorrow evening.

I sighed and shoved my hands into my pockets.

“Cowardly tricks like that probably won’t work.”

If I used some roundabout method, she would surely misunderstand. It was easy to imagine her thinking I must be plotting something again.

Living a life full of lies really became inconvenient at times like this.

I found myself realizing something that obvious only after turning twenty.

I drew in a deep breath and typed a single sentence into my phone.

I wasn’t Saburō anymore.

So this message would be sent as Rokurō.

“Want to go look at the stars?”

After sending it, I snorted at myself.

This made it sound like I was asking her out on a date.

(Maybe Rokurō thinks I’m annoying now.)

During her break at work, Yūha’s mind was consumed by intense regret.

The awkward atmosphere between her and Rokurō had all started with that strange thing she had said. Ever since they began living together, they had never gone this long without properly talking.

Going to his room almost every day and telling him about what had happened had become a habit, so just skipping it for one day had made her terribly lonely.

While lying in her futon, she had gone over everything she would normally have told him, one thing at a time, until she almost started crying.

At first, part of her had been reassured by the thought that time would somehow fix things.

Rokurō was a genius at smoothing things over. Even after the arm-pillow incident, he had blamed it on the way they slept. Surely this time too, he would dismiss it as a slip of the tongue or something.

When she really thought about it,

“I’ll let you pat my head.”

and

“I’ll let you lick some wasabi.”

sounded fairly similar.

Not that either statement made the slightest bit of sense, but surely Rokurō could somehow make it work.

Someone with his level of skill at dodging awkward subjects could probably even invent some reason for letting someone lick wasabi in the middle of a conversation.

That was the bizarre solution she had believed in, purely because of her absolute trust in him.

Reality, however, had turned out differently.

For some reason, Rokurō had actually attempted the Head-Pat Challenge. She had no idea what kind of logic had unfolded inside his head, but either way, it had been completely unexpected for Yūha.

Startled, she had instinctively raised both hands over her head. She had ended up taking a posture that looked like she was trying to escape his approaching hand.

It wasn’t because she hated it.

She had simply been surprised.

Fortunately, Rokurō hadn’t looked hurt.

Even so, it probably hadn’t felt good. Maybe now he would never try to touch Yūha of his own accord again.

The thought made her sigh endlessly.

For the first time since the period when she had stopped going to school, she remembered what depression felt like. Because things had been so enjoyable lately, maybe this felt even worse.

More than anything, it hurt that she had made such an embarrassing mistake specifically with Rokurō.

To keep herself from thinking about it, she focused on work as hard as she could.

But work didn’t last forever.

Riichi was a responsible adult, so he sent Misuzu and Yūha home before it got dark.

Yūha arrived home before Rokurō and immediately went to help Fuzuki. If she stayed alone in her room, she would only end up brooding.

And so things remained awkward even through dinner.

Maybe being awkward with each other would simply become normal.

That thought crossed her mind.

“…She’s not checking her phone.”

After dinner and a shower, I left the house and came to the gate.

I had told Fuzuki-san I was going for a walk, but I couldn’t move until Yūha came.

I had always assumed high school girls checked their phones constantly, and Yūha fit that category, so I figured she would notice immediately. Back when we used the dating app, she had replied at terrifying speed.

I had sent the message based on that historical data.

Apparently, I had hit an exception.

Thirty minutes after I started waiting, I pressed a hand to my forehead and realized I had screwed up. Going all the way back to her room now just to say, “Check your phone,” would be awkward. Worse, the absolute worst-case scenario would be Yūha noticing the message while I was walking back.

She would surely assume I had gotten tired of waiting.

And then this situation would become even more troublesome.

The only move available to me was to wait.

Fortunately, it was summer, so I wasn’t going to catch a cold. If I really wanted to, theoretically I could wait until morning. I had work tomorrow, but it wasn’t as if I had to go to sleep immediately.

I leaned against a nearby road sign and fiddled with my phone.

I checked online news, then social media for things that had happened that day and amusing posts.

While I was doing that, the time passed nine at night.

There was still no sign of anyone coming out of the house.

“What the hell am I doing…?”

All I had to do was march straight into Yūha’s room and aggressively pat her head.

That alone would solve everything.

I knew that.

Yet for some reason, I kept choosing detours.

I really was a pain in the ass.

Far more stars than we could ever see back in our city glittered overhead. Even here, where the houses gave off light, I could faintly make out the Milky Way.

If we went somewhere darker, we would probably see something breathtaking.

If I could see that sight with her…

Surely this incomprehensible atmosphere between us would return to normal.

I closed my eyes and thought about all sorts of things.

Every so often, I opened them to check the time, then went back to thinking.

I repeated that until, sometime after ten, I heard the front door open.

I stayed where I was and waited.

Then came the sound of sandals.

“Huh, Rokurō…? Why are you standing out here?”

Yūha tilted her head. She had thrown a single layer over her pajamas.

Judging from that, she clearly hadn’t seen the message.

She had probably noticed that I hadn’t returned to my room and stepped outside to look for me.

“Waiting for someone?”

“Something like that.”

“Who were you waiting for?”

“Hint: you.”

The girl blinked several times and pointed at herself.

I nodded.

Since I had no choice, I gave her a little more information.

“Your phone. Email. I sent one.”

“What?!”

Since it was nighttime, Yūha kept her voice low as she hurriedly searched around her pockets.

But she was wearing pajamas, so her phone wasn’t in its usual place.

“I left it in my room. Can I go check?”

“Yeah. Go, go.”

Yūha spun around and hurried back into the house.

About three minutes later, she burst out through the front door.

She had a cardigan over a white T-shirt, with light denim pants on the bottom.

“Sorry! I can go. I’m ready. I want to go!”

Apparently she had rushed so much that she was out of breath despite merely coming out of the house.

Strangely enough, just seeing her like that made me forget the fact I had waited more than two hours.

“Rokurō, you’ve been waiting this whole time, haven’t you? I’m sorry. Really… I’m sorry.”

“No. You’re right on time.”

I gestured toward a wristwatch I wasn’t even wearing and raised the corners of my mouth.

At the obvious lie, Yūha’s expression softened slightly.

“But it’s already late. Want to do it tomorrow instead?”

“No. I want to go tonight. I want to go now.”

“Got it. Then let’s go.”

Holding a flashlight in my right hand, I walked at Yūha’s pace.

There was enough moonlight and starlight that I didn’t need to turn it on yet.

The atmosphere between us was still awkward.

Yūha kept looking like she wanted to say something, but whenever our eyes met, she looked away.

I had already resolved that I didn’t need to say anything until we reached the stars, so I simply walked ahead with dignity.

After we kept that up for a while, Yūha seemed to understand something too.

Together, we accepted the silence and continued walking without a word.

Thus was born the elite competitive walking club.

We passed near the guesthouse, White Snake, and arrived at our destination.

It was a parking area partway up a slope near a shrine with a wide approach at the foot of the mountain.

Apparently, the village’s elementary school children came here every year for stargazing.

“Hey, Rokurō.”

Partway up the slope, Yūha called to me.

Her voice was quiet and restrained, like the night breeze.

“I might trip, so… can I hold your hand?”

It was too dark to see what expression she was making.

But I could tell she was embarrassed.

Yūha was working up her courage to clear away this awkwardness.

“Of course.”

I extended my left hand and took Yūha’s, which had been hovering uncertainly at her side.

It was probably the first time I had ever taken her hand of my own accord.

“—Thank you.”

“It’s nothing. Something like this is fine.”

I answered because I wanted her to understand that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to touch her.

Had that gotten across?

I didn’t know.

But Yūha firmly squeezed my hand back.

“Do you think we’ll be able to see the stars clearly?”

“Probably. The weather’s supposed to be perfectly clear today and tomorrow—and even if we can’t see them, we can always come back another time.”

“Yeah.”

Her voice against my eardrums sounded much sweeter than usual.

Surely I was imagining it.

This unusual situation was just throwing me off.

“Rokurō, do you know much about constellations?”

“Only the ones that were in textbooks.”

“Then you can find the Summer Triangle?”

“That much, probably.”

“Show me. I probably won’t know where it is.”

“Google it.”

“It doesn’t mean anything if you don’t show me! Geez! You completely ruined the mood!”

Just like always, Yūha angrily complained at me.

It made me so happy that I couldn’t help laughing.

“You really are hilarious.”

“I’m seriously mad at youuu…”

“Yeah, yeah. Sorry, sorry.”

“You don’t sound sorry at all.”

I tugged a little harder on Yūha’s hand as she looked down and muttered complaints.

“We’re here. Look up.”

“Hmph, we weren’t done talking yet—whoa…”

Almost comically, her expression changed from dissatisfied to delighted in an instant.

In a world dyed deep indigo, Yūha’s eyes sparkled like stars.

Her round mouth hung open as she desperately searched for some sound capable of expressing her amazement.

She fluttered our joined hands excitedly, and I could feel her joy through the warmth of her skin.

She was the first person who had ever taught me what happiness meant.

If I were someone capable of crying, I would probably have been in tears by now.

A heart that had spent so long fighting against unhappiness was terribly fragile in the face of happiness.

I breathed several times until the trembling in my throat stopped.

“The Summer Triangle is that one, that one, and that one.”

“Wait, too fast! I didn’t get any of that!”

“I’ll point them out, so watch properly.”

“Okay.”

I released her hand and traced across the night sky with my fingertip.

Yūha followed it from right beside me.

Even though it was summer, I didn’t find the warmth radiating from her unpleasant.

We had probably already reached a place we could never return from.

That was what I thought beneath stars that shone far too brightly.

The liar’s lies would soon begin to peel away.

When that happened, what kind of future would await us?

If she was smiling in it, I thought that would be enough.

That one wish had never changed, not since long ago.