The Victim’s Notes

Song Caitang and Zhao Zhi had found Liao Xingjian’s missing notes.

Each piece, each stroke, had recorded his emotions back then.

3rd day of the 8th month. I saw Nannan. I’m so glad. Nannan is still so pretty and she’s not injured. Just a little thinner than before. Every time I see her, I can’t help but feel my heart pound wildly, as though I’m still young and impulsive. I have become a different person… But I’m happy to be like this.

4th day of the 8th month. I woke up from a nightmare. I feel like… I’ve done something, I’ve betrayed Nannan. I don’t dare to look at her.

7th day of the 8th month. After avoiding her for three days, I suddenly discover that there seems to be a wall between Nannan and I. We seem so far apart now. I have a bad feeling about this.

16th day of the 8th month. We didn’t have a good Midautumn Festival celebration. I still feel unsettled. Why?

9th day of the 10th month. I know why I felt unsettled. Xi Rui came with a child and said he’s mine. I don’t believe a word she says. How could I possibly fall for her? The only face I love is Nannan’s. Even if I lose my memory and forget who I am, I wouldn’t forget what sort of person I would fall in love with.
But the child… does look exactly like me.
Maybe it’s because we’re biologically related, but my heart started pounding when I saw the little boy. When he stared at me with his black, large eyes, I didn’t find him repulsive at all. I felt so warm and fuzzy inside.
Perhaps… he’s really mine.
My parents died when I was very young and I don’t have any relatives left, so suddenly having someone related to me by blood is a very strange but wonderful feeling. I dare not give it up, and I can’t.

11th month.
I’ve done all sorts of tests. Xiaoman is my child.
I don’t know how to face Nannan.
Nannan doesn’t know what to say to me either. She always smiles when she looks at me, but her eyes are crying.
I wish I could pet her head and hug her tightly on the rooftop as we admire the snow and moon together.
But… it seems like I no longer have the right to do that.
How could something that we were certain would never change for the rest of our lives suddenly become a tragedy?

12th month.
Xiaoman wants to go out and play. Xi Rui is going with him. And so am I.
Nannan… has learned how to cry.
The round-faced little girl whom I’ve treasured and loved dearly since I was five, has learned how to cry.

Eve of New Year.
The houses are brightly lit, everyone is celebrating as a family. Nannan was drinking by herself in the room. She got drunk and just fell asleep on the bed without even untying her hair.
She doesn’t get along well with Xi Rui and they always argue. She doesn’t want me to be unhappy, so she’s been holding her temper in…
My girl has been living very unhappily.
It hurts my heart.
She can’t forget me and I can’t forget her either.
I suddenly thought, why should I let her go? We’ve been partners for so many years, we’ve gone through so much together, we’ve been wholly devoted to one another. We didn’t do that only to be separated.
Nannan can’t live blissfully without me, and my life is meaningless without her.
I want Nannan, but I can’t give up my son…
I’m despicable. I’m a jerk.
I’ve let Nannan down, and I’ve let Xi Rui down too.

15th day of the 1st month. Xi Rui wanted to go out but I said no.
She bore a son for me, so I have to take responsibility. I know what she wants. She doesn’t really love me. She just wants a stable and comfortable life where she doesn’t have to worry about her daily needs or the future ahead.
I just have to provide that much for her.
But that’s all. The only one I love is Nannan.
Nannan has thought about it for a long time now, but she has not rejected me.
I’m so happy.
Perhaps I exist because of her.

2nd month.
The problems have not ended. Life… can be so torturous.
There’s something wrong with Xin Yongwang.
And Nannan seems to be hiding something from me.

“Liao Xingjian really noticed something amiss!” Song Caitang turned to look at Zhao Zhi.

Liao Xingjian was a very observant and astute man. If he could pick up issues with Xin Yongwang, he would definitely notice more problems in the future!

Zhao Zhi pulled Song Caitang to sit at the table and brought the light nearer so that she could read without straining her eyes.

“Keep going.”

“Alright!” Song Caitang was even more excited than he was.

4th month.
Xi Rui hit the child too hard again. It’s not the first time.
The way she behaves isn’t like most mothers. I used to think that it was just her personality, since all mothers love their children. But Xi Rui…

6th month.
Xi Rui has really gone too far. This is the first time I’ve noticed that the boy is a little afraid of Xi Rui and doesn’t want to go too near to her.
After a prolonged period of observation, I… have a frightening guess in my heart.
I’m afraid I might be going insane.
I actually think that while the boy has a face like mine, some of his mannerisms are identical to Nannan…

8th month.
I’ve prepared everything and set up a trap. I brought Xi Rui down the mountain and made her “accidentally” dirty her clothes, so I had to bring her to a clothing shop.
The shop was full of pretty clothes that she could try on, and the older lady serving us even helped to check that she wasn’t hurt and also took her pulse.
The lady is a midwife and she told me very confidently that Xi Rui has never given birth before.
I felt like my heart had been struck by a heavy hammer. My mind went blank.
I don’t remember exactly what happened four years ago, but I’m sure there was a woman and I was indeed intimate with a woman.
But what if all of this hadn’t happened with someone else, but with… my Nannan?
What happened during that time? How did things come to this?

10th month.
I’ve been ill for the past two months and I’ve had time to think. I think I get it now.
This is all a setup. Someone is trying to hurt me and Nannan.
Everything we’ve been through, the pain we’ve suffered, the torture, the ugly situations we’ve had. He must be watching all this time and laughing at us in his heart.
I must not allow him to find out that I know about this, and I also… can’t tell Nannan.
Since he’s watching us closely, if I make any mistake, it will end in even more destruction.
I have to pretend I don’t know anything. I have to continue acting.

“He did realize what was going on.” Song Caitang narrowed her eyes. “I guess he would start investigating the truth… Did he get discovered while investigating, so he was silenced?”

Zhao Zhi took the papers she had already read and put them aside so that she wouldn’t get them mixed up. “Keep going.”

Song Caitang moved onto the next bundle of papers and noticed they were clearly a lot newer than the previous bundles. When she looked at the dates on them, she realized how new they were. “These were written… this year?”

Zhao Zhi took a quick glance at the papers and nodded. “It’s very obvious now.”

6th month.
I think I have some clue now.
It’s because of Hongfeng?
What happened then was very sad and nobody wanted such a thing to happen either. I respected Nannan’s opinion and her course of action, but I didn’t expect…
If it’s because of Hongfeng, then it must be for a very special reason that I don’t know about.

8th month.
I think I know what happened.
Four years ago, when Nannan and I left the Sanctum to settle some matters, the dangers we ran into back then were all a trap setup by someone else. The aim was to torture us so that we would live our lives filled with regret, hatred and paranoia. It would torment us all day and keep us awake all night. It would be a living hell.
That person made us go through that dangerous incident, separated us, then poisoned us with Millet’s Dream. He hates us and didn’t want us to be together, so he must have arranged for us to get together with someone else…
But Nannan and I didn’t go according to his plan and fall for someone else. He had no choice but to try something else.
He allowed us to meet and fall in love again, then cruelly separated us and cooked up a different story to explain that period of time we were apart so that we would experience the pain and torture he had planned for us right from the beginning.
Nannan, you’re the love of my life.
No matter the situation, whether I’ve forgotten you or I’ve forgotten myself, as long as we meet, I’ll be able to recognize your soul.
Nannan, you make my heart leap for joy. I believe it’s the same for you too.
I’m very sorry but I can’t tell you about this matter. I’m not sure who this person is, but I’m sure he’s been watching us in secret. It’s been hard for me to carry this burden alone, but I don’t want you to suffer with me.
You’ve been so heartbroken, yet you still love so much and you still want to marry me. That makes me very happy.
This time, I will make sure I protect you well. I won’t lose you again.
Nannan, wait for me. Wait for me to finish everything and I’ll be able to love you just like I did in the past.
The most selfish thought I’ve ever had was to wish that you never grew up. I wish you could always be that girl who held my hand and sat on my lap all the time, so that I can spend the rest of my life spoiling you, protecting you, doting on you. But if I… end up failing to do that and I cause you pain, then when you grow up… please don’t forget me.
And when you get married in the future, remember to visit my grave every few years along with a plate of braised pork cheeks and a bottle of the strongest wine. Alright?
My Nannan, I wish you a life of peace, a long life of blessings.

Song Caitang suddenly felt her eyes tear up.

So, Liao Xingjian was such a person.

A devoted, wise, patient and gentle person.

His handwriting changed according to his mood. His strokes were hard when he was angry, messy when he was anxious. But every time he wrote the words “Nannan”, they would be filled with gentleness. Each stroke was full of love and connected carefully.

Through the way he wrote, she felt like she could see each scene vividly. She could see how much he and Ye Nan loved each other, how colorful, exciting and wonderful their relationship was.

Ye Nan… was a young lady who had been deeply loved and doted on.

Zhao Zhi noticed the change in Song Caitang’s emotions and furrowed his brows slightly. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

Song Caitang continued reading.

The rest of the notes were written very close to the present, but they were about other random things that had nothing to do with this particular matter, until the day before the wedding.

Liao Xingjian wrote:
I think I know who he is.
But I need to do one final test
The call of the cuckoo bird in the middle of the night is him.
I’ve already made preparations.
I have a feeling that all of this will come to an end very soon!

That was the last page.

The reason was obvious.

Liao Xingjian had died that very night.

Song Caitang raised an eyebrow. “Why would you hear a cuckoo bird’s call at this time of the year?”

Cuckoo birds were normally seen in springtime when people sowed seeds, so their calls were associated with that.

It was now the end of the 10th month and it was getting very cold because this place was quite far north. Why would there be cuckoos calling now?

That was impossible.

“So… the calls are made by a human,” said Zhao Zhi.

A human?

Song Caitang tilted her head. Why would anybody need to do that? Could it be…

“Is that supposed to be some secret code?”

Zhao Zhi nodded. “Another thing I found during my investigation is that the call of the cuckoo was a secret code used by the Zhuang Thunder Pavilion at one point in time.”

It made sense for the sect’s leader, Zhuang Qingyu, to know this code and use it.

And as Zhuang Qingyu’s best friend, it made sense for Liao Xingjian to know about this code.

So, Zhuang Qingyu had used it to lure Liao Xingjian out that night!

Liao Xingjian had not bothered to change and his shoes weren’t dirty because he wasn’t going to walk too far!

“In that case, it was really…”

Zhuang Qingyu who killed Liao Xingjian?!

But before she could finish her sentence, the sound of wings flapping suddenly came closer to the small window of the study. Song Caitang watched as a pigeon flew into the study, then into the hidden room where they were.

Zhao Zhi stretched his arm out and the pigeon obediently landed on his wrist. A small bamboo container was tied to the pigeon’s leg. Zhao Zhi reached over and retrieved what was inside the container.

Pigeon post!

This was the first time she was seeing it in real life, so she went into a daze for a moment.

Before she could snap out of it, Zhao Zhi turned to look at her with a happy glint in his eye. “I got confirmation about those almonds.”

Song Caitang broke into a bright and excited smile. “Then what are we waiting for!”

They had a suspect and evidence. Of course they had to nab the guy now and question him!

She picked up her skirt and started running out of the room.

Of course, Zhao Zhi followed behind her.

And of course, he remembered to put everything back the way they were.

But before they could leave the yard, something unexpected happened.

They could hear the sound of weapons clanging against each other. And it wasn’t too far from them either. It sounded like…

A battle was happening right outside the yard!

Song Caitang wasn’t trained in martial arts and it took her a while to understand what was going on. But Zhao Zhi was quick. He pulled an arm around Song Caitang’s waist and flew toward a safer path.

“What’s going on?”

The cold night wind in her face messed up her hair and one got stuck to her lips.

Perhaps it was too cold, so she merely shivered and didn’t notice the stray hair.

Zhao Zhi wrapped his coat around her tightly and hugged her close so that no wind could get to her. He leaped from place to place while also gently pulling that stray hair away from her face. “As long as nobody within the Sanctum tries to escape, this wouldn’t happen.”

His eyes reflected nothing else but her.

And as she stared back at him, she got what he was saying.

In order to make sure the case could be solved smoothly, Zhao Zhi had already planted men around the Sanctum to keep watch. As long as everyone connected to the case stayed within the Sanctum’s grounds, not only would they be safe from Zhao Zhi’s men, but Zhao Zhi’s men would also ensure that nobody from outside the grounds would try to harm them. But if a suspect was guilty and tried to make a run for it…

Then they were definitely going to get caught at the border.

In other words, whoever was trying to escape at this point in time had to be the killer!

“Let’s go take a look!”

He didn’t need her to tell him where to go. He was already headed in that direction, except via a safer route. “Be good, be patient.”

But it was impossible for Song Caitang to stay calm and she even ignored how Zhao Zhi was teasing her by talking to her like she was a child. She stretched her neck as far as she could and looked into the distance, wishing she could have super night vision.

Was it him?

Was it the one they were thinking about?

Was it Zhuang Qingyu?!