Forehead Kiss

The new year really brought out the rawest of emotions in people.

Those who had family and friends to celebrate it with would sometimes find it a bit annoying. There were so many things to attend to and some might ask why they had to do all these things that they could probably do without. But for those without people to celebrate it with, the warm lights in other people’s houses as they celebrated only accentuated how lonesome they were. Those who had never gone through that sort of loneliness would never be able to imagine how bad it was.

The royal family had a special dinner on this night as well, but once the dinner was over, Zhao Zhi had nowhere to go. After thinking about it, he figured the only person he could disturb would be Song Caitang.

His initial plan was to just settle down by himself in a quiet place because he didn’t intend to crash or ruin anybody else’s celebrations. He just brought one flask of wine with him and sat on Song Caitang’s rooftop to admire the snow while he drank by himself. He did not join the Guans’ celebration party and did not try to make her leave the party early either.

He did not need to see her immediately, as though as long as it was a space that belonged to her and contained her presence, he would be satisfied.

But when he stood in front of her and heard what she just said, he realized this wasn’t enough at all.

He hadn’t come all the way here just to continue being lonely. He wasn’t really satisfied with just being in a place she had been to before, nor did he really intend to sit on her roof and drink without her noticing. What he really wanted was…

…For her to notice him. To keep him company.

For him to touch her and feel her warmth.

As the emotions exploded in his heart, his gaze clouded over and he came forward to hug her.

This warmth, this softness, this faint, fresh and slightly sweet smell that only Song Caitang had.

“I’m not sad, and I’m not lonely anymore.”

Song Caitang was a little caught by surprise when he suddenly hugged her, but she didn’t push him away and just smiled faintly as she patted his back.

The snow outside was covering everything in white, the red lanterns swayed in the howling northern winds. Yet one man felt like his heart was soaking in a hot spring. It was so soft and felt so comforted now.

If only time would stop at this moment.

Zhao Zhi remembered how he had been like this some years ago. He had been all alone, without any worries but also without anybody he cared about. He was lonely and depressed, but just like today, Song Caitang had barged her way to his heart. She hadn’t made the situation any better so to speak, but she had miraculously helped him to feel a sense of peace and warmth.

This wasn’t the first time he was spending New Year’s Eve like this.

That year, even though he was stuck in a tiny room subject to the wind and heavy snow and he said a lot of things he didn’t mean, Song Caitang ordered him about like this and used the most unpredictable yet most suitable method to find her way to his heart.

Song Caitang rested her chin on Zhao Zhi’s shoulder. She felt warm and comfortable, so she didn’t push him away. “It’s the first time I’m spending the New Year’s like this. It’s pretty nice.”

Zhao Zhi’s voice was hoarse. “It’s not the first time for you.”

Song Caitang suddenly understood what he meant and pushed him away as she blinked a few times. “We’ve spent the New Year’s together like this before. Is that what you’re saying?”

But Zhao Zhi suddenly didn’t want to speak anymore. He pursed his lips tightly and slowly folded his hands behind his back.

It was clear what he meant by that.

Song Caitang shut her eyes and sighed.

Perhaps the past wasn’t all that wonderful…

She massaged her temples. “You remember but I don’t remember anything. That’s not fair…”

Zhao Zhi didn’t say anything and just stared at her as he reached a hand toward her head, as though he wanted to console her.

“That’s not fair to you.”

That statement successfully stopped him from going further. His hand froze in midair. It was too late to retract it, but also not appropriate to move forward.

He thought that she was referring to herself. But it turned out to be him.

“And because that’s the case, it makes me look like the bad guy…”

Song Caitang was looking downward as she sighed, so she didn’t notice Zhao Zhi’s expression at all.

Perhaps she had really drunk a little too much, so her mind was spinning and she wasn’t sure of what she was saying anymore.

She turned to look out of the window. Perhaps the snow outside could help her to clear her head.

But when she looked out, she got the fright of her life. She thought she spotted a person dressed entirely in fitting black clothes, which stood out against the thick, white snow. That person was headed for the residence at the back.

“Zhao Zhi, look! Is that a man over there?!” exclaimed Song Caitang as she rubbed her eyes.

Who was that coming to interrupt their new year celebrations? Why would someone want to cause chaos for others during such a time?

Zhao Zhi watched as that person in black leaped easily from roof to roof, hopped into the back yard and headed east. That was Guan Qing’s residence.

“Um, I don’t see anybody. Maybe you’ve drunk a little too much and your eyesight is a little blurry?”

Song Caitang looked up again after rubbing her eyes, and true enough, the person in black had disappeared.

Was she really seeing things?

Then again, given that Zhao Zhi was an expert in martial arts with incredibly sensitive senses, if he said there wasn’t anybody there, then there wasn’t. She trusted in an expert’s opinion on such matters.

So, she dismissed what she saw earlier and continued chatting with Zhao Zhi.

Zhao Zhi breathed a sigh of relief quietly.

That man was extremely familiar to him and he didn’t need to go near to know who it was. It was Cao Zhang.

Cao Zhang had come so late at night, probably to do the same thing as him…

Why would he want to make things difficult for a fellow man in love? It was already hard enough to win the heart of the woman they loved.

He turned back to look at Song Caitang. It was rare to see her seated so lazily and look so relaxed, as though she didn’t have any bones in her body. Her smile was way too brilliant and too dazzling. She looked a little silly, but she was definitely especially happy today.

And as long as she was happy, he was happy.

His lips curled upward, his eyes twinkling with joy.

Perhaps he could drink wine for her sake sometimes.

But just not too much…

He could see that she was really happy, and also that she was really doing her best to stay awake in order to keep him company. But the alcohol was getting the better of her. She covered her mouth as she yawned continuously, then finally leaned forward and fell asleep right before his eyes.

Zhao Zhi quickly put his hand on the table just in time to catch her head so that she wouldn’t get hurt from hitting the table so hard.

After that, he put one arm around her shoulders and another arm under her knees and carried her. He walked past the screen and placed her on the bed inside her room.

He removed her coat and shoes, then covered her with a blanket. But he was still reluctant to leave.

He stared at her pretty countenance, her long brows that made her look so intelligent and alert, the tiny smile on her lips… he couldn’t resist and leaned forward as he bent down lower and lower…

…And landed a light and gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Song Caitang, I want to marry you.”

She didn’t say anything as she continued to sleep, blissfully ignorant of what was happening in her room, her lips still curled upward in a smile.

“Since you didn’t say no, I’ll take it as a yes.”

Zhao Zhi gently caressed her face. “You said yes back then… I don’t want to wait anymore.”

Song Caitang was awoken by the sound of firecrackers going off. When she woke up, she realized that the room was especially warm. The tea was warm and it was within reach, her coat had been hung up properly, incense sticks were burning so the room smelled lovely, the vase at the window had one red plum blossom in it. The entire room was clean and homely.

The servants couldn’t have done this because Song Caitang had told Qingqiao much earlier to go ahead and have fun with the other maids on New Year’s Eve. They could party as much as they liked and they didn’t have to worry about her, as long as they came back by noon. So, all this must have been done by Zhao Zhi…

Last night… when did he leave? She rubbed her temples. She couldn’t remember. She had been drunk.

It didn’t matter, really. She clearly hadn’t offended him anyway, since he had taken such good care of her.

It was a new year that came with new prospects. Song Caitang was full of anticipation and she felt stronger than ever before.

She felt like she could handle a lot now.

So… she decided to do her best to remember those lost memories.

But she didn’t want to ask Zhao Zhi about them.

She knew from his expression that those memories contained not just sweet moments, but a lot of pain, so Zhao Zhi might not really want her to remember what happened. But did that mean she would be spared the pain? If she tried to ask him about these memories incessantly, Zhao Zhi might cook up some lies to lessen the worst parts of these memories.

She didn’t want that to happen.

She wanted to know everything. It didn’t matter if it was heartbreaking, or sweet, or terrifying, or angering or joyful. She didn’t want to lose any part of it.

If the person who was part of those memories was the one who originally owned this body and had nothing to do with her, she was mentally prepared to face them head on and to settle everything properly. If she was the one involved, then perhaps she had come to this place a lot earlier than she thought…

Which meant that she ought to know what happened.

Song Caitang decided there and then to mentally prepare and challenge herself every day.

There was no better or reliable or even possible way. Any hints from her subconscious or emotions would be useful.

Time went by in a flash.

On the 15th day of the 1st month, the streets were covered in colorful ribbons and pretty lanterns. They were coming to the end of the new year celebrations, so everyone directed all their excitement to the last day. At evening time, almost the entire city hit the streets to look at the lanterns.

Of course, Song Caitang went too, along with Guan Qing and Guan Wan.

Unfortunately, the three of them didn’t get to stick together throughout.

Along the way, they ran into Cao Zhang. And for some reason, Cao Zhang annoyed Guan Qing and she ran after him to thrash him. They disappeared in the blink of an eye.

Guan Wan obediently followed Song Caitang everywhere. Besides showing interest in the food that was being sold, she was also very interested in the round and adorably shaped lanterns.

The problem was, the cutest and prettiest lanterns were usually not for sale. If you wanted one, you had to answer a special riddle.

Guan Wan pouted and sighed with regret. “I should have forced Xiaolang to come along! Who cares if he gets angry!”

Compared to how most people were excited about going out on this day, Guan Lang didn’t care about the last day of the new year or the lanterns. For him, the day after was more important because school would reopen and he could get back to studying. He would rather pack his things and revise his work than walk around outside aimlessly.

So, Guan Lang didn’t come out at all.

When it came to cooking, Guan Wan was an expert. But she was definitely terrible at anything that tested her knowledge of literature. She could barely write a poem, never mind guess the answer to a riddle that often involved language puns, guessing an idiom or proverb, or a quiz on famous literature.

But… those lanterns were so pretty…

This was when Ji Yuanjia appeared. He pushed past the crowd, got closer to the stall to look at the riddles, then started giving the answers without even thinking. And he got them all right!

The stall owners immediately gnashed their teeth and glared at him like he was their greatest enemy. The lantern selling had just started, so they were hoping to sell a few more before giving away these pretty ones. They were relying on the pretty ones to attract customers!

Ji Yuanjia shrugged innocently.

The rules were clear. He got the answers, so he could have the lantern. No matter how reluctant the stall owners were, they had no choice but to swallow all the nasty words they wanted to throw at him and force themselves to smile while they handed him the lanterns with good wishes for the new year.

One, two, three, four…

Before long, Ji Yuanjia had eight lanterns on hand!

And they were all extremely intricately designed ones! The pretty AND adorable ones!

Guan Wan almost started salivating. She couldn’t help but squeeze her way over to him and whispered, “Are your hands tired from carrying them? Need my help?”

“No need.”

He looked extremely skinny, but he was very strong. He could carry 18 lanterns without a problem, and he was holding them very steadily too.

Guan Wan immediately deflated.

Ji Yuanjia smiled at her for a moment, then said slowly, “But I don’t need so many lanterns for myself anyway. Also, I’m a little hungry…”

Guan Wan caught it immediately and pulled out the tiny cookies she had saved for herself. “You can have these!”

Ji Yuanjia was pleased with her little payment and gave her half the lanterns. “You can have these then.”

Guan Wan instantly brightened up. These were all the lanterns she really liked!

Song Caitang sighed inwardly.

There was nothing she could do. Her cousin was simply too easy to bait!

But Guan Wan was really very happy and she stared at Ji Yuanjia with such a bright sparkle in her eyes, as though he was the god of fortune or something. There were many, many pretty lanterns to be won and they could only be won by giving the right answer to the riddles. Ji Yuanjia was very good at this, so he would definitely give all the right answers!

Guan Wan wasn’t going to let go of him! She was going to cling on tight!

She happily waved goodbye to her cousin and was all prepared to leave with Ji Yuanjia to conquer all the lanterns. She even started negotiating with him like a weaker country trying to reach a peace treaty with a stronger nation. She started calculating how much food she would cook for him, whether it would be proper food or just snacks, how many times a day, for what duration of time…

And just like that, Guan Wan walked into his trap.

What else could Song Caitang do about it? Her cousin was willing to leave with him, so she couldn’t stop her.

She could only throw Ji Yuanjia a warning look and made all the servants follow behind Guan Wan, especially instructing the highly trained guards to make sure they kept a close eye and not allow Guan Wan to be bullied in any way.

Ji Yuanjia was a clever boy, so he knew what Song Caitang meant by that look. He bowed politely toward her and gave her a sincere and resolute look.

The sincere part was his heart. Guan Wan was someone he had fallen for, so he wanted to protect her and wanted to be with her, so he would ensure her safety more than anybody else. He would never allow anyone to hurt her feelings, including himself. The resolute part was his attitude. He didn’t care about what the Guans or Song Caitang thought. He had set his eyes on Guan Wan and was determined to win her over, so he was going to work hard and push through no matter how difficult the road ahead was!

Song Caitang was rather speechless.

It seemed even more impossible to stop this era of people from getting into relationships at a young age, given the social norms during this time period.

She wandered about aimlessly and turned back from time to time as she admired the lanterns.

But she wasn’t doing that for nothing.

She finally spotted Zhao Zhi.

Zhao Zhi was walking slowly toward her, looking really impressive as the fireworks went off behind him, highlighting the contours of his face and his deep set eyes. Only the cute, plump rabbit shaped lantern in his hand made him look a little comical.

He came closer to her and stuffed the lantern’s handle into her hands. “Let’s admire the lanterns together?”

Song Caitang smiled faintly, her eyes reflecting the full moon in the sky. “Sure.”

During this era, the last day of the New Year’s was considered a romantic day. Many young men and women would meet up and walk around together even if they weren’t officially a couple yet. Romance was clearly in the air, so it was hard for anyone’s heart to not race.

Song Caitang felt her heart beat faster too and sighed quietly.

Alright… then, we’ll just let nature take its course. She’d find out sooner or later what lay at the end of this road for her.

But besides a surprise date with Zhao Zhi, she also stumbled upon something else.

She tugged at Zhao Zhi’s sleeve and pointed to something in the distance. “Look over there. Those two people. Isn’t that Fourth Missy Gan and Gan Zhixuan?”

Zhao Zhi looked in that direction and slowly narrowed his eyes.

It was indeed… those two people.