Millet’s Dream Again

Prince Ping and his household had always enjoyed high standing, so they might have come across something sensitive. What role would a butler play in all this?

Song Caitang allowed Zhao Zhi to come closer to her and take her hand. “What did you see Zhao Zhong do?”

Her voice was gentle, as quiet and far away as the moonlight shining on them.

Zhao Zhi felt his heart calm down as well.
His girl was always like that. She had the ability to comfort him, to make him feel at ease.

“I don’t remember the details,” Zhao Zhi shut his eyes and saw those vague images in his mind. “I only remember I seem to be following him secretly. In order to avoid detection, I was always switching positions and hiding behind walls.”

Song Caitang looked more intently at him. Zhao Zhi followed him secretly and had to hide behind walls?
“Did you discover something?” Zhao Zhong must have been doing something in secret, something he couldn’t let others know about.

Zhao Zhi shook his head. “I don’t know. I only remember my heart was beating very quickly, my mouth felt dry and my head seemed to buzz constantly, as though I was very nervous. As though I knew I was in great danger and all I could think of was that I must not be discovered, because I’d be in trouble if I were discovered…”

Many times, the thing you were most afraid of was the very thing that happened. Human psychology was very strange, because our subconscious hints often came from reality. Song Caitang couldn’t help but guess, “You were discovered.”

“I suppose,” Zhao Zhi looked glum. “I don’t remember what happened after that at all. The next deep memory I have is of that Aunt Consort of mine. She brewed soup for me personally and forced me to drink a bowl of Millet’s Dream.”

Song Caitang did not purposely ask him about his past and Zhao Zhi did not talk much about it. They would mention their memories from time to time when they were free, but they would always stop if they felt that saying more would affect them emotionally.

There was no need to spell everything out that clearly. These were two very intelligent people, after all. They just needed to put the fragments together and they would piece the whole truth in no time.

They knew what the other party had gone through and the emotional trauma they had.

The fact that Zhao Zhi used the word “forced” meant that he was very revolted by this.

But Song Caitang knew that Zhao Zhi was initially very close with Consort Ping. Prince Ping’s first wife passed away when Zhao Zhi was very young, and the current wife was her sister. The two sisters were very close in the first place, and after the younger sister was married to the prince, she did not have any children of her own and spent all her time and effort on taking care of Zhao Zhi. Everything that shaped Zhao Zhi to become the man he was today, including his education, his character, his worldview, were all closely tied to this aunt and stepmother of his.

They used to be very close because Zhao Zhi lost his mother at such a young age. He directed every feeling that should have gone to his mother toward this aunt instead. He trusted and relied on her, and was very attached to her. Consort Ping brought him up herself and taught him to become an outstanding, independent and capable man, so it was impossible that she had no attachment to him. She must have been full of anticipation and love for him.

And so it wasn’t difficult to imagine how terribly angry and disappointed Zhao Zhi must have felt after she did this to him.

“You must have felt so terrible.” Song Caitang leaned against his shoulder and used a hand to pat his chest. “Don’t feel hurt anymore, it’s all in the past now.”

As though she was coaxing him.

Actually Zhao Zhi didn’t feel much when he brought up these past memories, because he was already used to it. The heartwrenching pain he felt, the way his world had collapsed and how he felt like his entire body was being torn apart. He had forgotten it all. But in this moment, when his girl placed her soft little hand on his chest and patted it gently, it carried the gentleness and fragrance of a flower in spring. She wasn’t patting him hard at all, yet for some reason, he felt like his chest had given way and she was patting his heart that had been hidden deep inside.

That little hand was gently patting his heart, comforting it and treating it preciously. His heart seemed to have a life of its own as it ached with a sourness and bitterness, yet softly expanded to welcome the touch of her little hand.

It was a feeling he had never felt before and it was a wondrous feeling that made him want to enjoy it forever. It made him want to whine and throw a tantrum like a child to get more.

But of course, he wasn’t going to do such a thing. He pulled an arm around her shoulders and hugged her tightly. “As long as you’re around, I won’t feel terrible anymore.”

They remained in each other’s embrace for a long time as they allowed their emotions to fill any space between them. But when she felt like they were heading toward a stage where they would lose their rationality, she decided to put an end to this moment. “When you say she ‘forced’ you… You already knew that bowl contained Millet’s Dream?”

“No, I didn’t know,” Zhao Zhi’s voice was low and deep, “I just sensed something wrong with my aunt’s expression and made a joke about it. Her expression changed dramatically and I knew that bowl of soup was definitely problematic and I didn’t want to drink it anymore.”

But his aunt did not allow him to do that. She pushed it against his mouth and poured it in.

Zhao Zhi learned martial arts from a young age and would definitely have been stronger than his aunt. But she had done that too quickly and too suddenly, so he hesitated in shock and that was enough for him to swallow a few more mouthfuls of the stuff.

“A long time later, after I had suffered quite a bit, I found out that the soup contained Millet’s Dream. And this dose of Millet’s Dream was obtained by Lu Yuxue when she had secretly gone on a trip and basically ran into Jing Yan’s murder.”

That was really shocking. Song Caitang’s eyes widened. “Lu Yuxue?”

Zhao Zhi shut his eyes and nodded. “That’s right. It was her.”

“From what I understood after the Night Sanctum case, Millet’s Dream is a mysterious drug from the world of martial arts that nobody knows how to make anymore. Very little of it exists today and it’s very hard to get,” Song Caitang was rather doubtful. “Lu Yuxue is a young woman from a prominent family who’s lived all her life in the inner house and hasn’t left Bianliang in years. How did she get news about it and buy this drug?”

Song Caitang did not believe that Lu Yuxue was capable of doing such a thing at all.

Zhao Zhi replied, “That’s why I still haven’t done anything about her yet.”

Song Caitang got it now. Zhao Zhi was not the type to allow any sort of ambiguity to exist if he could, but he allowed Lu Yuxue to pester him and annoy him all this time without doing anything drastic to her because of this. He suspected Lu Yuxue was supported by someone else and he had been keeping tabs on her, but he had not gotten any satisfactory results yet.

“Thankfully, my girl is a clever and rational person who doesn’t get jealous so easily,” said Zhao Zhi as he bent down to kiss her cheek. “I’ve been very good, I never let her come near me and I’ve never even looked straight into her eyes.”

Song Caitang rolled her eyes. Why couldn’t they have a serious conversation?!

“Compared to getting jealous and throwing a tantrum, I’d rather just get a new partner instead.”

Those words were so threatening, Zhao Zhi quickly grinned at her and declared his loyalty, “Of course, I won’t give you the chance to do that.” He pulled her chin upward and said firmly, “Who do you think your man is? You think I’d let just anyone come near? I’m telling you now, Miss Song Caitang, there’s no way you’re ever going to get jealous! No way!”

Song Caitang nearly rolled her eyes at him. And who was the one who kept hoping she’d get jealous, huh?!

But it didn’t matter, since it was pointless arguing with an unreasonable man. She continued discussing the main topic at hand.

“Have you thought of it from a different perspective?” Song Caitang paused to pick her words as she broke the situation down for Zhao Zhi. “This part of your life is very important, and I think you probably think the same way as me about it. Your butler, Zhao Zhong, was doing something that was top secret and very dangerous, and it was something that could affect your entire family. You noticed that, so you decided to follow him secretly and you did your best to be careful, but you were still discovered in the end.”

“All the cases we’ve handled together thus far have something to do with the person who’s been betraying the country. The fact that Wen Yuansi found half of that box pattern in Zhao Zhong’s room is a problem too. We can make a bold guess – Zhao Zhong was no ordinary man. The antagonist here has done a lot of things, silencing people and all that. There’s nothing they won’t do.”

There was still no conclusion as to who Jing Yan really was, but the clues thus far pointed to him being silenced for either trying to stop the traitor, or for investigating this matter.

And he was definitely not the first person to be sacrificed because of this.

“If they dare to silence others, they’d dare to silence anyone,” said Song Caitang slowly. “So, if you ended up suffering the effects of Millet’s Dream at such a time, wouldn’t that be a good thing?”

Back then, Zhao Zhi was younger and not as capable as he was now. Besides getting caught for following someone he wasn’t supposed to, he didn’t know anything else and couldn’t get anywhere near to the heart of the matter. If he could forget even the fact that he had been following someone, then… he wouldn’t be a problem that needed to be gotten rid of anymore.

After all, the more significant a person was in society, the more chaos would ensue if he was suddenly found murdered.

Zhao Zhi pursed his lips tightly and remained silent.

His relationship with Consort Ping was like a knot in his heart. The anger that had built up over so many years was not something that could be resolved so easily.

Song Caitang was reminded of something else. “By the way, what was happening at the time you were fed Millet’s Dream?”

Was it out of the blue? Or was there a good reason to do so?

That was an important question to answer.

“At that time… I had a big argument with my stepmother. I wanted to be sent to the border to fight, to protect my country and become a military man like my father. But the border was extremely dangerous at that time because Liao’s army was very close to us. Our chances of winning were low and I would be in a very dangerous position. If I were to fight at that time, I would probably die, so she was not agreeable to it. She said that I’m the only male heir of the family, so she didn’t want to be afraid of receiving bad news every single day.”

Zhao Zhi’s voice was low and slow as he recalled what happened. “We argued very fiercely. Our argument was so bad, the entire palace found out about it.”

So later on, when his aunt fed him those drugs and he lost his memory, most people were not surprised at all.

Of course, the fact that he had gone missing for a while was a different problem.

“I see…”

The reason turned out to be something so reasonable. There was nothing illogical about that.

Song Caitang looked down and thought for some time, then said, “Let’s set aside her reasons for doing so. She was bent on feeding you this drug and she must have known that you would lose your memory after consuming it. How would she ensure your safety?”

Consort Ping was definitely not trying to kill Zhao Zhi. If she wanted to kill him, that bowl of soup would have contained rat poison, not Millet’s Dream.

Zhao Zhi replied, “She prepared a house beforehand and tricked me into going there. That was also where she force fed me the soup.”

“But?”

“But I sensed something amiss and struggled. I refused to cooperate. I broke free of her grip and ran for it…”

Zhao Zhi quietly told her what happened after that. Lu Yuxue had run after him to stop him, but he knocked her out with one hit, untied a horse from the stable and made off with it.

The drug took effect pretty quickly. After a while, his vision grew blurry before he completely lost consciousness. He just lay on the horse and let go of the reins, allowing the horse to bring him anywhere it wanted.

The horse just kept going while he was unconscious, and by the time he woke up, he had no idea who he was or where he was. Consort Ping was no longer able to locate him.

But his desire to become a military man along the border did not dissipate.

And so, that’s what he did.

After that, he met Song Caitang in a small town within Zhending.

Because he had no idea where in the world he had come from and what he should do next, besides focusing on killing the enemy when necessary, he was quite depressed at other times. His girl was a lively person with a quirky personality, so they went through a lot together and… fell deeply in love as well.

But fate played a terrible trick on them. First he forgot himself, then he forgot Song Caitang. They were always so close to never crossing paths and never seeing each other again.

Thinking about it made him shudder.

Zhao Zhi hugged Song Caitang tightly. “This time, I’m not going to lose you.”

Talking about the past made Song Caitang feel rather emotional too. She allowed him to hug her tightly and shut her eyes as she breathed slowly.

But rationality eventually won and she decided to make this suggestion after all, “Perhaps you should sit down and have a proper chat with Consort Ping.”

“Chat?” Zhao Zhi buried his face in her shoulder and snorted. “She never talks to me properly.”

“Maybe things would be different this time,” said Song Caitang. Zhao Zhong was dead and some parts of the past had resurfaced. “How do you know if you don’t give it a try?”

Perhaps if he was willing to speak to her nicely, she would be willing to speak to him nicely too.