I Remember Everything

The breeze in their face, the birds calling in their ears, the fiery pomegranate flowers swaying.

Beautiful scenery was always able to affect one’s mood and leave good memories in peoples’ minds.

“I remember everything about the past.” Zhao Zhi’s low voice in the wind sounded like a sigh.

Song Caitang stared at the fiery flowers in front of her for a long time in silence before lowering her gaze and sighing quietly. “Me too.”

Actually, she had already put most of it together and she could make some guesses about the rest. There was just this one last bit that was filled with too much emotion because it was the part where she almost died, and she simply couldn’t recall what happened.

That was until very recently.

Perhaps she had received too many shocking pieces of information all this time, so her subconscious felt like she was in danger and didn’t want her to remember anything. But as time passed and she was able to relax more, she began to remember what happened.

She now remembered that she had transmigrated a long time ago. It wasn’t just a year ago when she woke up after losing her memory. She had transmigrated 17 years ago as a baby, in the 26th year of this country’s independence. She had been this Song Caitang right from the start. There was no second Song Caitang or a former body and life to speak of.

Her father, Song Yi, was a coroner. Even though he was good at his job and was a responsible worker, his status remained very low because the society he lived in despised such a job. Thankfully, he managed to marry a very gentle woman. They loved each other very much and the home was harmonious.

But from what she could remember from her childhood, the family was always on the move. Her environment suddenly changed when she was about one and a half years old. Her father took her mother on a long, long journey and ended up in Zhending. Liao kept trying to invade Da’an back then and Zhending was not far from the border, so their living conditions were quite poor. Even though the couple was happy together, they couldn’t ignore the fact that they were getting poorer and poorer. Life just kept getting harder.

Even so, her father did his best to give his wife and daughter everything he could.

Her mother had died unexpectedly. She suddenly got an infection and even though they could afford to buy medicine for her, she didn’t get any better despite the multiple doses and eventually passed on.

Her father was depressed for a long time.

Song Caitang was very upset too. It hadn’t been easy for her to have parents, so she wished she could have had them longer.

Just like that, two years passed. Her heart ached as she saw how her father was deteriorating rapidly. She had already lost her mother, so she didn’t want to lose her father as well. She had to find a way to help both her father and herself to pull themselves together. She knew her father enjoyed his work as a coroner, so she purposely proved that she was talented in this aspect to try and get him to go back to his old job. If he refused, she would find a way to do it. After all, if she created a bit of trouble and made her father do something, perhaps he wouldn’t be so depressed anymore…

Her father seemed stiff and solemn, but it turned out that he had the worrying heart of a grandma. He didn’t have a wife to worry about, so he started worrying and fussing about his daughter. The more obedient and mature his daughter was, the less he had to do, so he could spend his time wallowing in sorrow. But if his daughter started making trouble, then he would feel it was his responsibility to discipline her and keep her in check at all times.

And so, this father and daughter began roaming around Zhending. From time to time, she would purposely go to the border to scare him and bring some excitement to his life…

Her father got better and happier, as long as he didn’t receive a letter from Linglong. Song Caitang became more and more famous out there, and she quickly gained the nickname “Young Master of the Dead”. Everyone knew an outstanding coroner had risen from this area, but nobody knew that this coroner was not a man but a woman.

Life was smooth sailing until then.

Five years ago, or the 21st year since the independence of Da’an, Zhao Zhi was fed Millet’s Dream and lost his memory. He still had that deep longing to join the military at the border, so he headed straight for the camp.

He had forgotten who he was and the troops along the border had no idea who he was either, so he started as a low ranked soldier.

She met Zhao Zhi that winter, five years ago. She was 12.

Romance was not in her mind at all. Zhao Zhi was injured and covered in filth, so it was hard to fall for a man with mud all over him and his hair in a sticky mess. She saved him since it was convenient, and after he regained consciousness, he thanked her, told her how to contact him, then left. They did not come into contact again for a long time.

But a year later, when she was about to turn 14, trouble suddenly erupted at the border. A fierce troop of soldiers from Liao had gained the upper hand and Zhending was in danger of falling. They suddenly found themselves in contact a lot more now.

By that time, Zhao Zhi had become a junior officer and had several men and horses reporting to him. The mission to get rid of this troop was very important and he had to put all his efforts in. Song Caitang had to hang around because she was investigating a case. That troop from Liao had dashed across the border so fiercely because of one person, and that person was connected to the case she was looking into then.

The situation was complex back then. So many things were happening at the same time – the army was defending the border, a civilian murder case had happened, the Liaos were invading. Some bandits were also making use of the chaos to achieve their aims. But each group had different aims and different strengths, so a few groups could end up fighting at any one time.

She and Zhao Zhi had almost lost their minds trying to think of all means and ways to control the situation, to find a way to achieve the most with the least number of casualties.

From their initial discussions and plans, to their coordination when executing important moves, the way they seemed to read each other’s minds and work perfectly together…it didn’t take long for them to get a deep understanding of each other’s personality and intelligence, as well as admire each other for it.

Perhaps…that’s when they also started to fall for one another.

They managed to get through this crisis. Peace returned to Zhending and the army did not suffer too many casualties at the border. Zhao Zhi also seized the chance to destroy some of the bandits’ bases at the same time. He led the troops to chase the Liao troops back to their country and even managed to push the border further out. He was rewarded for his military accomplishments and became Da’an’s youngest general.

But because he had fought so hard, he got injured in the process. He was very badly injured.

Unfortunately, the war could not stop just because he was injured. The army base camp was very messy and busy, so it was not a good place for him to rest and get well. His men knew that he was close to her, so they carried him to her home. The soldiers were tall and burly men, but they seemed shy and awkward when they saw her. They told her that they couldn’t look after him in the base camp, but they knew she had some medical knowledge and skills, so they asked if she could help.

At that time, she asked them, “Are you sure you want me to help him get better?”

After all, she was in the business of dissecting dead bodies.

But the soldiers didn’t seem bothered by that. “Well, it’s not like his wounds are doing very well with us. It keeps getting infected. The military doctor said that it would be best to look at it and clean it every day. Our general is young, but he’s very formidable and isn’t afraid of pain at all! You don’t have to go easy on him, use your knives as you need to!”

Both Zhao Zhi and Song Caitang were speechless.

Sometimes, people were like this. The closer you got to them, the closer you wanted to get. The clearer you saw them, the more you wanted to find out about them. You would want to see their heart.

Song Caitang found Zhao Zhi a very interesting character. Sometimes he was mature and steady like an adult, then sometimes he was rebellious and unreasonable like a child. He was prideful, yet a little soft and clumsy inside. Regardless of whether he was putting on airs or he was just sitting down silently, he was always very poised. He wasn’t old at all, yet he looked like he carried the weight of the world.

At the same time, Song Caitang herself was an auntie trapped in a 14 year old’s body. She felt the urge to tease him and lecture him, but while Zhao Zhi was young, he had gone through a lot in life and wasn’t that obtuse either. So…without realizing it, he started flirting with her.

And he was so obedient too.

He made sure to never cross the line she had drawn for them and did not even try to push his boundaries.

When it came to romance, regardless of whether any party had confessed or not, as long as they wanted to, they would find more chances to spend time together. If a chance didn’t come along, they’d create one.

And it soon became clear that they had feelings for each other.

Of course, the most was just a peck on the cheek. They didn’t go any further.

Zhao Zhi was younger then, but he was a gentleman with respect for doing things the proper way. For as long as they had not gone through the full marital rites, there were things they could not do and did not dare to either.

Song Caitang wasn’t too bothered by this. She was too young for any of this anyway, so she didn’t feel comfortable going any further and was willing to wait a little longer.

But life did not always go the way one hoped.

Her father passed away.

He died in an accident. He slipped and fell off a cliff. Song Caitang examined his body herself and did not find anything suspicious about his death.

After that, she faced war and an extremely dangerous situation. A mysterious person was hunting her down.

Despite having Zhao Zhi by her side, they were still unable to escape this person’s clutches. They were surrounded and attacked, then she eventually fell into the water and hit her head against a rock.

She was injured, too tired and on the verge of losing consciousness. She couldn’t see anything else but a huge pool of red.

The last thing she remembered was a clean and clear endless pool of water, a warm embrace and a pair of lips.

Someone had fished her out of the water, carried her to the side and blown air into her lungs.

She saw the moon.

It was bright yet gentle.

In hindsight, perhaps that was why she liked water and the moon so much.

What she liked wasn’t the actual water or moon, but the person who gave her that sense of warmth.

Unfortunately, she had forgotten who that person was…and only remembered how she felt at that point in time.

Zhao Zhi was afraid of water and even had a traumatic response to any body of water not because he was really scared of water, but because water reminded him of danger. The danger of losing her.

Unfortunately the effects of Millet’s Dream on him wore off shortly after that. He woke up from its effects and did not remember her. He only remembered this sense of danger that reminded him to never go near water.

“I’m sorry…I forgot so much.” Song Caitang leaned her head on his shoulder.

He pulled a large hand around her waist and hugged her tightly, “I should be the one apologizing.”

How could he have forgotten his girl?

Even though they were already so close to one another, it seemed as though it could never make up for their time lost. He pulled her head gently toward his and kissed the top of her head. “Don’t leave me again.”

Song Caitang felt her heart ache.

That night, after she remembered everything, she felt the urge to run to Zhao Zhi’s place to talk to him, but it was simply too late…

After taking the night to calm down, she didn’t feel so anxious to meet with him anymore. They had met again and were together again, so the past no longer mattered.

What she needed to cherish was their future.

In that moment, she could understand why Zhao Zhi didn’t want to tell her about what happened even though he could recall everything.

It was because that was a rather painful and unpleasant past, and it also showed that Zhao Zhi was not capable enough and failed to protect her. That was a big blow to his ego, so it was fine to forget all of it. There was no way to alter any of those painful memories and there was no need to recall what happened either. He just needed to remember what was going on now. He was enough for her and he would make sure he stayed in her life forever.

Song Caitang laughed. “You’re so domineering.”

“Hmm?”

She turned to look at him. “You remembered everything but didn’t tell me about it. Aren’t you afraid I might escape?”

He narrowed his eyes. “You want to escape?”
She smiled at him.

He pulled her into his arms. “Don’t even think about it. You can’t run from me. You can only be mine.”

Their embrace grew warmer again.

Song Caitang pushed against Zhao Zhi’s chest with her hands and took a while to find a comfortable position. She asked, “Were you the one who arranged for me to be sent to Luanze?”

When she woke up again, she was in the Guans’ house. She couldn’t have made it this far on her own, especially since she had knocked her head too hard and couldn’t even take care of herself.

“I…didn’t know you were that badly injured. Before I woke up from the effects of Millet’s Dream, I found a servant who used to work for your family because he owed your father a favor. I gave him a lot of money and even said that if he didn’t take good care of you…” Zhao Zhi cleared his throat in embarrassment, “I threatened to kill him.”

Song Caitang got it now.

The effects of the drug wore off shortly after this and he promptly forgot her and what he had arranged for her, and disappeared after that too.

The person who took care of her was grateful to her father and was paid handsomely, so he made sure to take care of her. Thankfully, this man was an upright one who repaid kindness with kindness. It was only right for him to send her to Luanze, where her only surviving family lived.

Perhaps Zhao Zhi had been too fierce and this man didn’t want to stick around unnecessarily. Once he had brought her back to Luanze and got her a maid, he vanished. Qingqiao was a random young girl in desperate need of money back then, so it was easy to trick her into taking up the job. Song Caitang couldn’t remember what happened during this time, so she couldn’t look for this person.

Amidst the brilliant red pomegranate flowers, the light breeze and bright sunshine, they opened up about their past together and found themselves even closer to one another than before.

From afar, they were like two lovebirds enjoying their little romantic date.

But while some would find this scene sweet, some…did not.

It was purely by coincidence. Wen Yuansi had brought his grandmother here to admire the scenery and they happened to see the couple from afar.