My Childhood Friend And Summer Fireworks (Part 1)

According to my childhood friend, “I think I take pictures of the fireworks because that’s part of what makes the memory fun too… so later, when I line the shots up next to all my other photos and look back through them, I can go, oh yeah, that’s how I felt back then, that’s what was on my mind right at that moment.”

…or so she says.

Once, watching her aim her camera up at the sky, I’d asked her:

“Why even bother photographing fireworks up there? Nothing beats seeing them live.”

And that’s the answer she gave me. In other words, the reason she takes pictures at all must be so she can hold on to the happy feelings of those moments, too.

As for me, when I picked up my elementary-school graduation album on a whim not long ago, I felt like I understood that feeling, at least a little… I think.

Now then. As for what my childhood friend, Sakura Ayuri, was up to…

◆◆◆

I ride the flow of the crowd toward the park’s open plaza. We’d scoped out candidate fireworks-watching spots in the park back during the planning stage, so if I make the rounds of those, I should be able to find the two of them.

I check one spot, then the next. No Ayu, no Kengo, so I move on again. Everyone around me is gazing happily up at the sky, while Sumire and I keep scanning the crowd for faces instead, and it feels a little hollow.

Let’s just hurry up, find those two, and get to look up at the sky like everyone else.

Thinking that, I search for Ayu and Kengo.

Maybe it was because I’d been picturing Ayu’s face the whole time I searched, but out of nowhere I found myself wondering what kind of day today had actually turned out to be for her. I couldn’t speak for Hina, but I, the one who knows Ayu’s secret, figured things probably wouldn’t go the way Kengo was hoping, and our senior Hotaru, even without knowing the secret, had flatly declared, “It’s absolutely never going to work.”

But what if… what if, for reasons and feelings none of us could ever imagine, today really had, against all odds, started to make Ayu aware of Kengo? What then?

Maybe that was why I couldn’t find them. Maybe, by some miracle, the whole escort routine had struck a chord with her, struck deep, and the two of them had slipped off somewhere together ages ago. That kind of nasty premonition… huh. Why did I just think of it as a nasty premonition?

Just as I fired that retort off at myself and closed in on the next spot, it happened.

“Sakura!!!”
“Ayu!!!”

Along with what sounded like Hina and Kengo shouting, I caught sight of a familiar little figure, the one I’d been watching from a distance all day, bolting away into the crowd.

“—! Sorry, Sumire! I’m counting on you for the rest!”
“Huh…? R-right!”

Even I didn’t really know what I’d just handed off to her, but the instant I saw that familiar figure my legs were already moving, and only a moment later did I understand I’d started chasing after it.

Rather than sit there guessing at what had happened, I’d hear it straight from Ayu herself. So I broke into a run, chasing that small figure.

◆◆◆

“Hah… hah…!”

I run. It’s pretty rural out this way, but tonight, maybe because of the festival, the streets are unusually packed, people milling everywhere, and I just barrel through them.

Dammit… where did she go…

Sure, I’ve got more athletic ability and stamina than Ayu, but the gap isn’t that extreme. Once I’ve lost sight of her like this, I have no idea where she’s gone.

“Aaargh! Come on!!”

Drenched in sweat, I run again, because if I stop, I’ll only start overthinking pointless things.

Why did Ayu run off like she was fleeing? Why was it not just Kengo but Hina, too, shouting back there?

Maybe Ayu got hurt by something those two couldn’t possibly have known about, and if I’d been there, I could have stopped it.

I keep catching myself thinking presumptuous things like that.

“Ngh…!”

But why is it that even as I run, my thoughts won’t stop?

Where is Ayu right now, what is she feeling all alone, what did she make of walking the stalls with only Kengo? Given the situation, I can’t think about anything but Ayu.

Why… why am I getting this worked up over her…!

I’m running blind to shut my thoughts up, but all it does is drain my stamina. The thoughts won’t stop. Sweat pours off me like a waterfall, and the more oxygen-starved I get, the more that insufferable face of hers floats up in my mind.

Maybe it was because of where my thoughts had gone. In the middle of an irritation strong enough to make me want to scream, something surfaced: come to think of it, there’d been a day like this once before.

“Ngh…!”

That day, too, I’d tailed Ayu just like this, lost sight of her, run myself ragged exactly the way I was now, and in the end I’d gotten a bit of help and managed to find her. And that day I’d made a vow: that I wanted to get a little closer to the heart of this childhood friend of mine, the one who acts so bright and cheerful yet never quite manages to wipe away her loneliness.

That’s right… calm down… this is the second time, isn’t it.

Back then it was a brutal first-timer killer, but things are different now. Even without anyone’s help, I know Ayu a little better than I did back then, understand her a little more… so if I think it through calmly, I ought to be able to narrow down where she’s headed, at least somewhat.

“…Hoooo… haaah…!”

I stop, draw in air, send oxygen to my brain.

For all her flightiness, Ayu is oddly level-headed in the strangest places. Even if she bolted on impulse, she’d calm down fairly fast and start thinking about somewhere she could be alone. Once I look at it that way, it’s simple: she’d worry about making everyone anxious, about getting caught up in anything weird, so she wouldn’t go somewhere genuinely deserted or dangerous.

“…Okay… one more push…!”

Somewhere with a fair number of people around, somewhere Ayu would actually go. Once I’ve narrowed it down that far, all that’s left is to run. Plodding as it is, it still beats charging around at random. With that, I set off on what I hoped would be the last dash of the day.

◆◆◆

“Haah… haah… found… you…!”
“Huh…? Gin?! What happened — you’re drenched in sweat!?”

A bookstore, a café, one place after another before this one, the fourth. Out front of the supermarket I’d finally, finally reached, I found Ayu, slumped down all by herself.

“Whoa, that’s a lot of sweat…! Here, I’ve got a handkerchief I haven’t used yet — take it! I’ll go buy you a drink!”
“Huff… haah… go ahead…”

I watch Ayu dash off into the store, and with my stamina and everything else spent, I slump down where I am.

Ugh, I hate this.

The whole time, ever since I’d narrowed down where to look, I’d been telling myself that the second I found her I’d give her a good knock on the head for sure, plotting out exactly what abuse I’d hurl at her. And then the moment I actually find her, I’m so relieved I can’t get a single word out, and I just watch her go. I really hate that about myself.

Wiping the waterfall of sweat off me with the borrowed handkerchief, I waited obediently for Ayu to come back.

◆◆◆

“Here, Pocari.”
“…Thanks.”

Sitting and resting, my breathing settles a little. But after tailing them through that stifling crowd without getting made, then running all over town, the bottle she hands me is empty in an instant.

“Gulp! …Gnk! …Pwahh~”
“Whoa, you really put that away.”
“Phew… now then, there’s something I want to ask you.”
“No, no — my question comes first.”

What’s with her, so clueless about how a person feels. Even if she doesn’t know the circumstances, doesn’t she have any impulse to show a little care for her gasping, worn-out childhood friend?

“So — why are you all sweaty and out here in a place like this, Gin? You can barely see the fireworks from here, you know?”
“…That’s my line — the plan was to meet at that park a little ways from the venue, wasn’t it?”
“That’s… well, a number of things came up…”
“…Then let’s just say a number of things came up on my end, too.”
“…Let’s call it ‘same goes for both of us,’ then, shall we?”

Silence. I can hear fireworks going up somewhere in the distance, but from here, sure enough, their light is blocked by trees and buildings, barely visible.

“…Fine… I’ll come clean.”
“Hm?”

If we call it even and keep hiding what we’re each thinking, we’ll never come to understand each other, and I’ll never be able to get close to Ayu’s loneliness either. Then again, Ayu probably hides it precisely because she doesn’t want anyone getting close to her in the first place.

“When I was looking for you two in the park, I saw it — you running off somewhere, and Kengo and Hina calling out to stop you. For you to do something like that, it had to be something big, so I figured maybe something to do with your secret happened while I wasn’t around.”
“…So you got worried and came looking for me?”
“…Well, that’s the gist of it.”
“Hehe, thank you, Gin. Good girl, good girl~”
“H-hey — quit petting me…”

Sure, the sweat’s mostly died down and I wiped it off, but I was soaked until just a moment ago. And she doesn’t usually do this, so I’d honestly rather she didn’t get all touchy-feely.

“…Look, I might as well just say it while we’re at it — you and Kengo ending up alone together this time was a setup we were all in on, so I guess I felt responsible…”
“Ah, so it really was like that.”
“…You knew?”
“Of course I noticed~ All of a sudden there were more people around, and then on the day, you obviously couldn’t just join up with us; well, at first I brushed it off as a little odd, but… the clincher was you and Hina.”
“Huh, us?”

What’s this now? If it were just Hina, sure, she’d been nothing but a mess of suspicious behavior even with the mask on, so “yeah, we got made” would track.

“When I was running off, I thought I heard Hina’s voice… and the fact that she was right there at that moment — once I was alone and thought it over, I figured maybe this whole to-do today was staged.”
“…”
“And then, while I’m sitting there alone, along comes a sweat-drenched, about-to-cry Gin — right? It’s way past the point where I could even pretend not to notice.”
“Huh? Don’t go making stuff up about me being about to cry, would you?”
“Hehe, sorry, sorry.”
“Ngh — like I said, would you quit petting me?”

Honestly. She thinks she can just laugh and pat my head and smooth the whole thing over. Now that my strength was coming back, I’d started thinking I should’ve caught my breath more first, done something about the sweat, at the very least not shown up looking this pathetic. But when she pats me with a face this happy… the words won’t come, and I even catch myself thinking that maybe this was fine after all.

…Hm?

“Did you just say you ‘ran off’…? I’d figured it was also possible you got mad at those two and stormed off somewhere.”
“Erk.”
“Did you seriously just say that out loud?”
“…Awww, there, there~”
“You’re not fooling me.”

Under my pressing, Ayu awkwardly pulls her hand back… no, it’s not like I feel disappointed or reluctant to see it go… I don’t… I really don’t…

“I confessed, though? If staying quiet about our reasons is ‘same for both,’ then once one of us talks, the other coming clean too is what ‘same for both’ means, isn’t it?”
“What kind of logic is that — does it even hold together?”
“Whether it holds together doesn’t matter — I’m saying it’s not fair that I’m the only one talking.”

When someone does something for you, and it makes you happy, you should give something back in equal measure. That’s apparently one of Ayu’s creeds, something she told me at some point. So if I put it this way, Ayu will probably talk.

I didn’t… mean to tug at her sense of obligation, but it seemed to work like a charm all the same, and with a sigh, Ayu reluctantly opened her mouth.

“…So… um…?”
“‘Um’…? Don’t you ‘um’ me.”

Is she still going to hold out? A frown creases between my brows before I know it.

“…Okay, fine! I’ll say it! I’ll say it, so stop glaring at me!”
“Spit it out.”
“…igotconfessedto…”
“Huh?”
“Like I said, um… I got confessed to! By Kengo!”
“…Huh?”
“Huh, you didn’t hear me? Do I have to say it again?”
“No, I heard you… that’s it?”
“Well, to sum it up… that’s about it.”

…Why? Was she ever the type with zero immunity to guys? When she goes around claiming to be a former-man reincarnator? When she used to run around mixed right in with the boys all the time back in the day?

“…”
“That’s a face that isn’t buying it, Gin.”
“Please explain, in detail. Right now, I am on the verge of losing my composure.”
“Eep.”

I mean, come on. After someone searches that desperately, finds you, asks the reason, and “to sum it up” that’s all there is to it? Depending on how this shakes out, I really am going to get mad.

“Um… you won’t laugh?”
“I won’t laugh.”
“You won’t get mad?”
“If you don’t answer seriously and in detail, I’ll get mad.”
“Ah, okay… then… I’ll tell only you — the one who knows my secret — all the details.”

For an instant, a sensation ran through me like a cold wind stroking my spine. That meant… this was something she couldn’t tell Hina and the others, something that touched the very depths of Ayu’s heart.

Before I knew it I’d straightened up and braced myself, because if I missed even a scrap of this, I’d regret it, absolutely. Seeing me like that, Ayu steeled herself too, and finally, this time, began to speak.